Seductive Coitus - my feminine feelings

[Reena]

My Future husband : and....

 

Me :  my latest fantasy is really fulfilling. It's about sleeping with a guy who can last 10 hours in bed. That's so exciting. He first offers me 4 hours. I say "no." After a while he screams, "10 hours." And I'm instantly turned on. I'm like omg really? I ask him, "guaranteed?" he says, "guarantee." I felt so horny when he said 10 hours. Of course with viagra. It's not possible otherwise.

 

For once I want to experience that kind of sex that lasts a really looooong time. 

 

And then we actually meet up and have sex for that long, really long. And after that, I'm like I won't need anything else lol. 

 

I keep the limit at 10. I don't think I can orgasm longer than that. 

 

This conversation was so much fun I swear.

When I was turned on, I was like "dude" you're a gift to my pussy. Jump in. 

 

I was wearing a sling bag in my imaginary conversation. 

 

 

 

Edited October 30, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

 

My future husband : this conversation is getting spicier. You know that right?

 

Me : * winks. It hasn't reached a climax.. yet.

 

My future husband : you have a way with words. You could be a good script writer.

 

Me : ooh la la la.

My future husband : you're spicier than fuck. 

Me :aha. I see. 

 

My future husband : so what's the plan miss reeeeeeena? 

 

Me :  to have fun tonight at the club with lots of hot men. Gyrating. Drinking. 

 

My future husband : aha. Playing with men? Lots of dudes. You want men to fawn over you. Don't you? You want this cock carousel. Lots of men to play with. Play with their feelings?? 

 

Me : * holding a shot glass. You know, I'm a woman. I have lots of men wanting me. And I'll be the only woman in that room. So why shouldn't I take advantage of that? I wouldn't be able to do this when I'm much older. I can do it now. 

 

My future husband : f*cking slut! 

 

Me : Oops!! 

 

Me : you know what. There are men who don't call me that. You can improve yourself and maybe you will have many chances. 

 

My future husband : *looks at me annoyingly. 

 

Me : leans at the fridge door, tries to grab a bottle from the fridge. Fiddling a bit. Fumbling. Looks at him from the side. 

Me : what are you gawking at? 

 

My future husband : You. And my chance. (speaks in sarcastic tone). 

 

Me : *chuckles. Pours drink in a shot glass. 

 

My future husband : so what's the road to your.. you know what? 

 

Me : there is no road. There are only signals. 

 

My future husband : am I giving mixed signals? 

 

Me : I don't know. Seriously. I could sleep with you. And then I could sleep with someone else. And then someone else. You know. But I don't want it like that. I want to sleep with someone I know can satisfy me always. And then sleep with him only. Long time. I get exhausted. I don't want some cock carousel. (fidgeting with my glass as I speak). 

 

My future husband : boyfriend huh? 

 

Me : a sexy one at that. 

 

Me : This is the first time I am feeling so free. So free. 

 

My future husband : I like to see you like that. 

 

Me : *grateful smile.

 

 

My future husband : hmm. Any chance for me?

 

Me : * sexy glint in my eyes. I don't know. Maybe. 

 

My future husband : so you want only sex? No problem with that too if that's the case. 

 

Me : no. I want much more. I want fulfilling orgasmic tantric sex. But then I'll fall in love with you. I simply cannot have sex without that emotional connection. And then I don't want a man who pumps and dumps me. I want sex. But with someone I feel like I'm committed to. Too. You know. 

 

 

Edited October 30, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

Me : I'm slowly realizing what I should do as a woman. Not give much to a man.

 

My future husband : once again, any chance for me? 

 

Me : don't beg me like that for sex. I might give in. 

 

My future husband : then I should beg a little more? 

 

Me : haha. The more you beg the more I'm turned on. Haha. Stop it (laughingly).

 

My future husband : why isn't anyone talking about these things?

 

Me : Because they all have fulfilling sexual lives. That's my best guess. I feel like I am the only sexually frustrated one. I didn't even know something called a "sex life" existed.

 

My future husband : so you mean to say you were sexually repressed before and now you're a slut. 

 

Me : you challenge me too much. I was sexually repressed before. Now I'm better at navigating my own needs. I don't want to be dumbed down when it comes to sex. I don't want to feel like this part of me is never properly explored. I don't want to feel like this part was never pruned the right way. I don't want to feel like a ghost who came to this world and then left. I'm a living breathing human being with emotions and some hormones. I think I did myself a bit of a disservice by not asking for sex from my past boyfriends. I had this whole Madonna Whore complex going on. I wanted to be this Hannah Montana Miley Cyrus angel girl and then I reached "emotional puberty" at a much later stage. I wanted to break out of this "church girl" syndrome. I wanted to be dirty. Ready for sluttery. I don't mind you calling me 'that' if it's in good faith. If you are teasing the slut in me. And teasing it out of me. Now I don't wanna be that "pure pure" virgin girl anymore. I wanna bite that proverbial apple. 

 

 

Me : Now I don't wanna be that "pure pure" virgin girl anymore. I wanna bite that proverbial apple. This is some PG rated content. I want to make it slightly "viewable by family." I don't wanna cross too many lines when it comes to sex. I simply come from a repressed environment. I felt like  I lived in a pitch  dark room for 13 years of my childhood. What would a girl like me ever know or even stand a chance to know? When I finally met a guy who liked me, I was judged very harshly. 

     . 

 

 

Me : could it be possible that I slut shamed myself in my early years as a teenager before anyone else could do it? 

 

 

(I'll never know) 

 

 

Edited October 30, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

 

       

 

 

Me : it's horrible I know. Like some sort of unfairness that I kept myself deprived of sex for so long. And when it came to actually doing it, I felt like I could be doing something immoral. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Reena]

 

 

These days I'm having so many wonderful insignts on sex that it almost feels like a homecoming. 

 

I'm prepping prepping prepping. 

I know that nothing about sex is picture perfect and I could be delusional. But I'm not afraid to explore. 

 

 

 

 

[Reena]

Do guys ever suffer slut shaming? Or is there a different term for it? 

[Jonas Long]

2 minutes ago, Reena said:

Do guys ever suffer slut shaming? Or is there a different term for it? 

I think "cuck" is more or less the equivalent.

[Reena]

2 minutes ago, Jonas Long said:

I think "cuck" is more or less the equivalent.

Isn't that like the opposite of what I'm saying. 

 

What if a guy wanted to express his own sexual instincts and views on sex to a woman but he fears he will be taken as a "creep", some shit like that? I'm imagining something of that nature. 

 

[Jonas Long]

Just now, Reena said:

Isn't that like the opposite of what I'm saying. 

 

What if a guy wanted to express his own sexual instincts and views on sex to a woman but he fears he will be taken as a "creep", some shit like that? I'm imagining something of that nature. 

 

Yes, but I think for men the shaming takes a different form.  The emotional intent behind calling someone that is similar.  

"Fuck boy" is probably the closest in direct meaning, but I think it's slightly less shameful to be called that than "cuck".

[Blessed2]

10 minutes ago, Reena said:

Do guys ever suffer slut shaming? Or is there a different term for it? 

 

Not entirely sure if this is what you're asking, but I think ot's kind of the other ways for guys. Whereas women are "slut-shamed" for expressing sexuality more openly, men are "shamed" about things like being a virgin or being a cuck.

[Reena]

@Jonas Long @Blessed2 do guys ever fear expressing their sexuality more openly and publicly, I mean very explicitly? 

 

And if there's an underlying fear in doing the above , how would you describe this fear? 

 

I'm a 100% sure that men are scared of expressing their sexual feelings and thoughts all the time and this is a crux of a bigger problem in overcoming sexual deprivation. 

Just my hunch. 

 

[Jonas Long]

3 minutes ago, Reena said:

@Jonas Long @Blessed2 do guys ever fear expressing their sexuality more openly and publicly, I mean very explicitly? 

 

And if there's an underlying fear in doing the above , how would you describe this fear? 

 

I'm a 100% sure that men are scared of expressing their sexual feelings and thoughts all the time and this is a crux of a bigger problem in overcoming sexual deprivation. 

Just my hunch. 

 

I think the fear of expressing it in vulnerable terms is true.  The overcompensating "pickup" style talk about sex that men perform is disingenuous.  Honest expression of anything that slightly deviates from that kind of thing is feared for sure. 

The fear of expressing anything outside of staunch heterosexuality for men who identify that way, or anything that insinuates a deviation from the image we have of that sexual hero archetype.

Edited October 30, 2023 by Jonas Long

[Jonas Long]

6 minutes ago, Reena said:

@Jonas Long @Blessed2 do guys ever fear expressing their sexuality more openly and publicly, I mean very explicitly? 

 

And if there's an underlying fear in doing the above , how would you describe this fear? 

 

I'm a 100% sure that men are scared of expressing their sexual feelings and thoughts all the time and this is a crux of a bigger problem in overcoming sexual deprivation. 

Just my hunch. 

 

Sense you put it this way, and asked an honest question, I'll share something that my fear response resists sharing here for reasons like the ones you named, I am an exhibitionist.  I post nudes and sexual content of myself on certain websites.  I actually think in some ways doing this openly is more accepted from women in our culture, but there you have it. 

[Blessed2]

Just now, Reena said:

do guys ever fear expressing their sexuality more openly and publicly, I mean very explicitly? 

 

Well... Yeah. We are all conditioned with certain taboos.

 

It also depends on the situation. Like of course I wouldn't be very comfortable sharing that stuff when my parents are around. But with friends, I'd be more open.

 

It also depends on the subject. I'd be less comfortable with expressing a desire to have a gay furry gangbang than straight vanilla sex.

 

Though this "fear" (or insecurity perhaps) is present even in my intimate relationships. I do feel vulnerable to express certain desires.

 

But I think these examples are different from what women experience in regard to "slut shaming".

 

8 minutes ago, Reena said:

I'm a 100% sure that men are scared of expressing their sexual feelings and thoughts all the time and this is a crux of a bigger problem in overcoming sexual deprivation. 

Just my hunch. 

 

I think so too.

 

I've had a hunch lately that this might also connect to (the lack of) asking for consent. Expressing your desires openly and in detail does come with certain vulnerability and discordant emotions when the interpretations are deeply confused.

This is a pretty heavy subject though. Could even go as far as to consider why some people experience very morbid and ill paraphilias. But let's not go there in case everyone is not on board with such subject for discussion.

[Reena]

21 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

I've had a hunch lately that this might also connect to (the lack of) asking for consent. Expressing your desires openly and in detail does come with certain vulnerability and discordant emotions when the interpretations are deeply confused.

This is a pretty heavy subject though. Could even go as far as to consider why some people experience very morbid and ill paraphilias. But let's not go there in case everyone is not on board with such subject for discussion.

Yea I agree that consent is a huge part of the bigger problem with sexual expression. 

 

[Reena]

33 minutes ago, Jonas Long said:

Sense you put it this way, and asked an honest question, I'll share something that my fear response resists sharing here for reasons like the ones you named, I am an exhibitionist.  I post nudes and sexual content of myself on certain websites.  I actually think in some ways doing this openly is more accepted from women in our culture, but there you have it. 

That's cute. I usually just stick to heterosexual bdsm mostly. Nothing beyond that. I know I have slut shamed myself plenty of times but my fantasies are kind of lame in comparison to western culture in general. 

 

[Reena]

My future husband :...

 

Me : why do I feel like I am sitting with you on a bench in a cold park at night. Lonely and serene. Only you and me. You are holding me and kissing me. 

[Reena]

Me : I can't live without you. How could I forget that bench? That's where you were making love to me. That's where you kissed me, and touched me and sexed me up. That's the place where I lost control and gave myself to you. 

 

 

 

[Reena]

My future husband : I'll infect you with my poison 

Me : I don't mind. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Reena]

I shouldn't let people's expectations of me define myself. I'm who I am. Too often I've worried about what people would think of me. I was always people's doll. That innocent looking girl that everyone likes. I always did what my culture and society dictated me. I was everyone's doll. The virgin doll who can never do anything wrong. The girl who is always obedient and is never defiant towards the patriarchy she grew up in. 

 

I always did what my family told me, what my society and culture told me, what my community told me. 

 

I would express myself sexually but only on very rare instances. 

 

I was always given baggy clothes to wear with no makeup. This traditional girl who will never dress provocatively. 

 

And my virginity was /is prized. 

 

Often men in my culture would ask me "are you a virgin?" when I went out on dates. 

 

I wouldn't have sex with my previous boyfriends because I didn't want premarital sex. I wanted to preserve myself until marriage. 

But this strategy has no real benefit for the woman.