Seductive Coitus - my feminine feelings

[Reena]

 

 

 

My future husband :....... 

 

 

Me : when someone doesn't talk to you and act like you don't exist and you still love them, they're actually imprisoning you. They have created a wall of bars around you.

 

You are slowly dying in these walls because of their punishment. I feel you have done this to me. I'm extremely uncomfortable. I am dying. I need to cut these chains and bars and get out of this emotional guilt prison you have placed me in.

 

 

My future husband : I want to set you free. I didn't mean to do that. 

 

Me :  thank you dear husband. At least now I'll have closure. I have realized that the only person who can set you free is the person who put you there. And if they don't do it, then they aren't correctly reciprocating your love. They have abandoned you. Which is a sin, a crime, bad karma. Don't commit bad karma. Don't own someone and then abandon them later. Their soul has suffered an injury as a result. If you caused it, you should remedy it too. If you don't, it is still bleeding and this is some heavy karma. It's your responsibility to heal this. To give proper closure. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited October 31, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

 

 

My future husband :.......

 

Me :  I have to learn that life is complex. Be patient. Be kind to yourself. And it's important to remember that emotions are not to be taken for granted. You need reciprocation and not just someone who wants a good time. A person who is serious will do serious things to validate and enrich a relationship. Regarding sex, those needs have to be fulfilled within the context of the relationship itself. And it should be emotionally sturdy as well. Someone who is bonded to you, they will be with you, they will keep it real and true. They will love you. Regarding dirty sexual fantasies, they are definitely a distraction but they are not a big deal. They will come and go and they make the relationship spicier. Yet it will still involve respect, dignity, decency and consent. Anything without respecting consent will be bad, superficial and just shallow, meaningless. Every act in a relationship should contribute to enriching it. Building it. Even the act of sex. 

 

Me : don't cheat someone. Don't treat someone poorly. Always speak the truth. Don't damage someone or hurt their feelings. Don't play with someone's emotions. Recognize when there is no emotional investment or reciprocation. Be honest and truthful to yourself first. 

 

 

 

    

 

 

 

 

 

Edited October 31, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

 

 

Me : first learn to be serious about stuff. Try to stay committed to your integrity and principles. First decide what you want. Have a relationship where you can be transparent with your partner.

 

 

 

I also have to learn what maturity means in terms of relationships. Taking accountability and responsibility.

 

 

I've matured in some ways. Yet it's not effective or functional. 

 

  

In order to attract authentic relationships, one needs to be authentic oneself. Be authentic in who you are. Research videos on how to be authentic. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited October 31, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

 

 

Me : you can never tell if someone really loves you or not. First have a basic guide to relationships. Be prudent with your life decisions. Try having relationships in your comfort zone, not too far from your place. Don't explore too much. Taking heavy risks in relationships can be very problematic. Keep it simple. Be with someone with an easy and unproblematic background. Someone who has been known for cheating on their partner is already a huge red flag.. Recognizing red flags helps a lot. 

 

The important part is not character or desirability or how much they love you but what they can do for you. How committed are they? There is a difference between feeling loved and being loved. Don't date outside your league with someone who has huge expectations. They should really love you. Egotistical people can never keep others happy. They only know to expect expect and expect some more. Be with someone who is humble in their expectations and most importantly listens to you. 

Me : listen to your heart always. Be careful in communicating with the person you meet. Look for signs where you feel valued. Someone can make you feel special overnight, but is that love? Sure it might appear that you are being loved, but this can easily be a short honeymoon phase where the only goal is to give the other person good feelings. This is actually quite easy. You can easily find that person desirable 

 

 

Edited October 31, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

This is the bold truth. 

[Reena]

You'll not feel loved. Yet they will love you. 

This is the harsh truth. 

[Reena]

An important question is - what is sex? 

 

Sex is just chemistry. But sex should be meaningful. Sex is meaningless without romance. For the same reason when people have casual sex, it's practically nothing without feeling other than simply activating the sexual system inside. This can be achieved easily by either touch or language. Turning someone horny. Is this love? 

 

The toughest challenge to love is sex. 

 

Does love survive without sex? 

 

Does love survive because of sex? 

 

These are complex questions. Sex is by far the most difficult domain of exploration. Everything about sex can be quite confusing. 

 

 

[Reena]

 

I'll say use this technique to find that perfect love you're always looking for. First see if there's a brain match. 

 

Do they look like someone who wants a genuine connection? 

 

If yes. Then proceed to the next step. Look for heart attraction. You might find that you aren't fully on board with that person with regard to heart attraction.. You don't feel like you're really attracted. You don't like them beyond a certain period. Then this is not your final match, just a cursory match. 

 

The biggest mistake you can make is to look for heart attraction right away. This way you always attract leeches - people who want that camaraderie with you yet they will never be truly committed and at some point they will leave you sulking and regretting the relationship.

 

You can avoid that by using your intellect to fall in love with someone who is measured and half decent in their behavior and approach to life. 

 

[Reena]

 

But if you intellectually matched with at least 5 people, you'll have heart attraction with at least one out of them. 

 

One of the solid problems that women face with attraction is that they want someone who can provide for them. This is usually not the case and you find yourself trapped in loving a man who can't provide for you. Or you find a man who can provide for you, yet you don't feel any love from him or any attraction towards him. The unhappy wives of rich sugar daddies kind of a situation. 

 

You shouldn't compromise on your survival though. If a man can't provide, that can create trouble in paradise later on. Better to stick with something that you're already familiar with. A providing man is more evolutionarily and culturally familiar. It makes perfect sense too, as you're expecting to have kids with him someday. 

 

[Reena]

 

 

I woke up just now. I feel anxious. I feel like I can't love myself. I need a man to love me. I feel destroyed without it. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I'm just deeply unhappy. I feel like nothing goes my way. I don't feel cared for. I don't feel loved. I don't feel understood. I feel like nobody cares that I'm depressed. My family never listens. It's like I'm screaming inside. It's always family family family and I'm tired of that word. I'm fed up with it. I don't like anything. The constant pressure to be something. The constant pressure to marry a man. The constant pressure to solve problems of my life without actually figuring out my emotional pain. It is exhausting enough to deal with all  this. When you constantly feel neglected you feel like you want to rely on a man for his affection and you think that affection will cure your problems. 

 

 

[Reena]

The early morning thought was that someone was with me only for superficial reasons. I feel incomplete. Why did I engage in such relationships? With a merciless coward. With a mean guy who never cared for me but his own needs and then dumped me conveniently. Machiavelian men. These are days when I feel intense frustration, hatred and anger against men. I simply fail to protect myself. I have lately been able to express my feelings more lucidly. 

 

 

 

Edited November 1, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

 

The main crux of the problem is family neglect. My family neglected me for way too long. I felt weak, miserable, vulnerable. I felt like I could never open up to them. There was always judgement. If I had a bad boyfriend, it was always my own fault. Nobody ever tried to console me. Or guide me. 

 

Pinches myself. 

 

Now I understand what's going on. 

I was thoroughly exploited in my last relationship. I felt scammed. It left a pattern of emotional abuse that I'm very much used to. This is what is secretly hurting me inside causing me distress. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited November 1, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

Will I ever hit maturity? Will I ever learn to fend for myself? 

Will I ever love myself? 

I know it's so hard. It's so hard. 

In love I also need to think of practical considerations. 

And it's true, I do suffer a bit of delusion. 

 

 

Edited November 1, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

Pickup is such a dangerous word. It's nothing but taking advantage of women's vulnerabilities. 

 

[Reena]

Stay away from negative energy. 

 

Fill your life with happiness and joy. Cultivate strength. It will get you through tough things. Keep yourself emotionally stable and safe. 

Don't think that love is the solution to problems. Love isn't a problem free thing. It has its own baggage. Love is complex. And sex makes it even more complex. Total romantic love is a package of both sexual satisfaction and emotional love. Most people settle for something less than total love. They look for a short cut. They satisfy themselves in temporary ways sexually to just deal with this hunger. And this is a very meaningless solution. It only complicates emotional frustration in the long run. There is no love messiah to cure people's love problems. 

 

It's better to be single than be in an emotionally abusive relationship. 

 

Most people suffer in love relationships because they don't have very high standards. They settle for low quality love. Either it's a person who they are not genuinely attracted to or it's a person who is attractive but cannot bond emotionally or is emotionally unavailable. These are just leeches. They will take take take take but not give. They will leave you drained. They will dump you whenever they want. They will not care about you. This is low quality low. A high quality romantic love is where you feel sexually satisfied along with your emotional needs met. This person is committed to you. This person is loyal to you. This person is devoted to you. You can trust them. 

 

 

You might ask yourself - why do you settle for low quality love?

The answer is a combination of factors 

- not feeling strong enough 

- low self esteem 

- being deprived of romance 

-lack of experience 

- background of trauma and abuse 

- not able to recognize red flags 

 

Edited November 1, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

Masculine and Feminine Erotica. 

I'm going to talk about erotic love. 

 

 

The inverse relationship between 

Edited November 1, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

Stage red mentality in sex. 

 

[Reena]

I have decided to perform a ceremony. I'll call it the bhadra ceremony. 

 

[Reena]

In this ceremony, I have to invoke the gods of love

 

 

[Reena]

Why was I okay being physically abused in a relationship just for some hot sex and chemistry? 

 

That's because I had a stage red mentality in sex. In which sex is only acceptable if it's obtained in a violent way. 

 

This is stage red sex. The kind that creates stimulation through control and violence. Obviously because stage red alludes to violence. 

The final objective or goal of any kind of sex, romance, dynamic or relationship is to obtain that chemistry. Because I assume that I'll never get that chemistry in normal ways<< maybe because I think I don't deserve beautiful love >>so I could be relying on abnormal ways to obtain that chemistry.