Seductive Coitus - my feminine feelings

[Reena]

I shouldn't shame myself. That's the last thing to do. 

The reason I have stage red instincts is because I want to appeal to authority. And authority can be of two types. One where authority leads to proper leadership. And another where authority leads to control, domination and abuse. 

 

 

I have been repressed sexually very badly. And repression is the reason why I think my submission should be appealing to an unknown illusory authority and appealing such authority makes me feel at ease. Because my imaginary mind believes that this authority delivers peace and control and this authority looks like a sugar daddy. 

 

I might even call this Stockholm behavior in myself as SUGAR DADDY SYNDROME. 

 

These are stage red instincts that have evolved by living in survival mode as a coping mechanism in dangerous controlling abusive conditions. 

 

 

[Reena]

Why was I okay being physically abused in a relationship just for some hot sex and chemistry? 

 

That's because I had a stage red mentality in sex. In which sex is only acceptable if it's obtained in a violent way. 

 

This is stage red sex. The kind that creates stimulation through control and violence. Obviously because stage red alludes to violence. 

The final objective or goal of any kind of sex, romance, dynamic or relationship is to obtain that chemistry. Because I assume that I'll never get that chemistry in normal ways<< maybe because I think I don't deserve beautiful love >>so I could be relying on abnormal ways to obtain that chemistry. 

 

 

[Reena]

I think trying to appease an illusory sugar daddy, an abusive provider or an exploitative boyfriend, what was all this about? 

I'll call it the SUGAR Transaction SYNDROME. 

A heavily repressed feminine that relies overly on the sexual control of an authoritative abusive system that delivers masculine power and subjugation and makes her feel safe and taken care of in a transactional situation whereby she gives up her own power and authority and supplies the abusive system with constant stream of sexual surrender and in exchange the abusive system affords her protection, food, shelter, sexual satisfaction, and provision. 

 

This stage red transactional arrangement is probably comfortable to a heavily sexually repressed and abused mind. This is the mentality of the abused as a coping mechanism of survival. 

 

 

 

 

[Reena]

I think trying to appease an illusory sugar daddy, an abusive provider or an exploitative boyfriend, what was all this about? 

I'll call it the SUGAR Transaction SYNDROME. 

A heavily repressed feminine that relies overly on the sexual control of an authoritative abusive system that delivers masculine power and subjugation and makes her feel safe and taken care of in a transactional situation whereby she gives up her own power and authority and supplies the abusive system with constant stream of sexual surrender and in exchange the abusive system affords her protection, food, shelter, sexual satisfaction, and provision. 

 

This stage red transactional arrangement is probably comfortable to a heavily sexually repressed and abused mind. This is the mentality of the abused as a coping mechanism of survival. 

 

 

 

 

[Reena]

 

 

Normalization of abuse 

 

 

 

Feelings of helplessness in a stage red tyrannical social environment that dictates a woman's virtues. You do what you are told to do. Or you're a bad woman. Virtue signaling. Emotional abuse. Physical abuse. Gaslighting. Double standards. Victim shaming. Judgement. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The ultimate price of abuse and violence is submission. Caving in. Giving in. Say yes to being a victim. Please your abuser. Stockholm Syndrome. And what I call the sugar daddy syndrome. 

 

 

[Reena]

G.... Grooming   Syndrome and the Internalization of Abuse 

 

 

At some point you begin to internalize all the guilt, shame, judgement, blame and aggression that your abuser makes you go through. You develop self defeating responses. One of these involve becoming increasingly vulnerable to your abuser in the hopes of pleasing him especially if you can't leave him. You don't feel confident enough to leave him due to Codependency. At the same time your brain programs you for survival. So here you are faced with the ultimate option - either fight and make your situation way worse than it already is or learn to please your abuser. You choose the latter because that seems at least temporarily safe. 

 

 

These are some really powerful images that mimic my feelings to a certain degree. Feeling helpless, weak, abandoned, miserable as well as feeling shamed and repressed can induce a very unusual mental state  of deep repression and internalized shame where it's perfectly acceptable to be abused even more. The cycle of abuse leads to more traps and frustrating cycles. 

Edited November 1, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

Internalization of Abuse and Repression. 

 

You're basically induced into it. Trained into it. Programmed into it. At the same time you feel like you can't leave it. 

This is the last stage of the abuse programming. 

 

You internalize it. You're a whore. You're a skank. You're a slut. You're ugly. You're good for nothing. Statements and labels that hurt. 

 

It can go beyond than just being name called and verbally abused in a relationship. 

 

Internalization , repression and submission 

 

Once you reach the last stages of emotional abuse either in childhood or in relationships, you reach the point of pinnacle. This is where you begin to absorb all that's fed to you. Especially if you are psychologically fragile and receptive, this is very easy to achieve. 

 

 

 

[Reena]

 

Healing, reiteration of Victim mindset and moving on 

 

 

To a certain extent, there is some sort of a complex inertia that holds you back from moving on. You stay in the rut for a while. You stay in that victim mode because that was your survival right? 

Your brain doesn't reprogram itself overnight. 

 

Basically, Reena, you gotta understand that this is stage Red survival. You did what you could to the best of your ability. You survived. You have to learn to grow again in a healthy normal manner although this is going to be a herculean task henceforth but be brave and strong and get yourself together. #postabusesurvival. 

 

There should be a post abuse survival guide. 

 

 

 

Edited November 1, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

Normalization and comfort around habitual abuse 

 

When any form of abuse becomes very habitual, then you begin to normalize it and also reach a point of comfort around it. Once again this is a coping mechanism. The comfort comes from the sugar daddy elements of this toxicity. 

 

[Reena]

My emotional rapist calling me "toxic" is the most ironic thing ever. 

[Reena]

How to stop the perpetuation of abuse 

 

One way to do this is to get your sexual needs met as a victim. Get them satisfied before it spills over and some predatory man takes immediate advantage of it. 

One way is through "sexually free"  masturbation.

 

Get this drilled in your head. No man will ever sexually satisfy you in a safe free manner. 

Most men who claimed to sexually satisfy me were abusive and violent in some form or another. They were extremely predatory. 

 

Just because you're horny and sexual as a woman, it doesn't mean this sexual libration is a gift that will be rewarded healthily by society and men. No no no. That is an illusion. Most likely you'll end up meeting your next sexual predator. 

 

 

Edited November 1, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

Post nut clarity. 

[Reena]

New insight on Sex 

 

 

This insight is that sex is meaningless if not associated with romance. It's fool hardy and low quality and low integrity. Sex is high quality when associated with romance and love. Such sex can be called romantic passion. The idea of eternal romance. It's similar to a spiritual awakening. Because it's equally stimulating and powerful. Like a drug. The sex growth factor. 

[Reena]

 

Romantic passion and infusion

 

 

 

Romantic passion fused with love fused with sex is the ultimate bomb. It's the ultimate dope. It's powerful, liberating and stimulating at the same time. Infusion. 

 

This is the thing about sex. It's intricate. It works in mysterious ways. 

 

Ultimate transformation of personality only happens through this magical romantic psycho sexual control. You want to impress your polar opposite romantic partner and you would do anything in the world for that. There are definitely bdsm elements involved. "I'll do whatever you say/want" kind of thing. This is a tantric charging of the body. This is tantric sex. A powerful way of dominating the opposite like a snake charmer. Like body control. It's like a love prison that you don't wanna escape from because it's so 

 

Sensation seeking people like bipolar, schizophrenia and borderlines usually want a very electrifying stimulating experience in sex. And some psychos too. And I think tantric sex involves this type of psycho sex. 

[Reena]

 

 

 

 

 

This was enlightening. It has reduced my tendency to want rape fantasy. It has also pushed me away from low integrity sex. I don't appreciate it that much now

Edited November 3, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

Insight from the forum on pickup by Joseph Maynor 

 

I agree.  These are the reasons I would think someone would do pickup artistry stuff (see list below):

I have some sympathy for 3, 4, 12 -- 3 moreso than the other two.  I think pickup artistry is stupid.  Find a good partner and stick with that one.  It reeks of immaturity to me.  It's like a dog whistle to me: when I hear someone say they're into pickup artistry I automatically assume they're immature, insecure, desperate, etc.  There's something they're trying to overcome within themselves.  Actually, I appreciate that.  But I think there are better ways to go about it.  I would suggest getting better at relationships in general, finding a qualified potential girlfriend, and then befriend her without friend-zoning yourself, and if there's energy you might ask her out and start a committed relationship with her.  Or stay alone.  I love to be alone.  Relationships take up a lot of time that I enjoy using working on my business and other areas of interest to me.  You don't have to be in a sexual relationship to live a great life.  The way to attract high quality people is to be safe to relate with and high quality yourself.  And also think about this, if you get with a girl and she knows you do pickup artistry on her, she's has to know you're going to do that against her too.  So you're a dog and unless she's fooling herself which people do, she's gonna find out that you played her too at some point and that relationship is going to go nowhere but down in flames with all the suffering caused by that.  Unless she's a player too or a prostitute, but in that case she's low quality and you're low quality.  That would be the best actually -- you're both low quality and kind of bottom of the barrel relationship material.  It's transactional, nobody gets hurt.  That reminds me of dealing with prostitutes, pimps, and Johns.  I always assume pickup artists are picking up non-prostitutes.  If you need game to pick up a prostitute that's petty sad.  That's doubly sad.  If you live in Las Vegas and need game to pick up a prostitute, that's Infinitely sad.  You'd have to have the social skills and vibe of a weirdo-creep I guess or smell like a dump truck.  That's not a high standard.  If you need to go to pickup artistry seminars to pick up  prostitutes in Las Vegas, wow!  That's like someone taking calculus to do their books for their business which only require basic arithmetic.  

(1) They're addicted to sex

(2) They're terribly lonely and like to be around women -- because women tend to be very social even if you're dealing with them 1 on 1
(3) They're terribly insecure about being accepted by women and are trying to overcome that
(4) They're doing it to feel like a real man -- they-re trying to overcome their inferiority of being a nerd, dork, or social outcast
(5) They're doing it to feel more masculine
(6) They're doing it to impress other guys as a form of showing off
(7) They like to dominate other humans, they get off on it

(8) They want to work on their dating skills
(9) They like relationship drama with women
(10) They have nothing else better to do with their time and life
(11) They're doing it to date a lot of women to try to find the right one
(12) They're a sex coach or a dating coach and they do it out of a desire to improve their skills/experience/expertise in that area

 

[Reena]

This was enlightening. It has reduced my tendency to want rape fantasy. It has also pushed me away from low integrity sex. I don't appreciate it that much now. I am more picky when it comes to sex now. 

 

I guess I lived in scarcity because I was and am a virgin and never received sex. I guess that caused me to meet my sexual needs in erratic low quality ways and fall for any sexual crap just to be satisfied in the moment. To feel horny or release sexual tension and frustration. But this wasn't meaningful and it was born from trauma. It was a coping mechanism in which I was needed to be controlled in terrible ways to feel safe and submit to such ways. This wasn't replaced by the Rescuer.

 

 

[Reena]

Rescuer Sex

 

This is a form of sexual chemistry that involves a drug like effect so that the recipient of such sex is liberated from being held as a sex hostage under tyrannical circumstances by a rapist or a controller. 

 

This is dark romance or dark sex.. It involves desensitization of abnormal sex using psychotic sexual techniques of shaming, guilting and sexual overpowering. The victim will have to submit to the romance of the seducer and then break from their chains of past sexual trauma to conform to his patriarchal ideals of dignity and romantic sex. 

 

[Reena]

The cause of abnormal sexual fantasies is deprivation, depression, repression and trauma and some sort of past abuse 

 

 

[Reena]

The other part is erotica. Romance and erotica are both necessary to escape the grip of  abnormal sexual fantasies. 

In this manner the Rescuer Lover plays the role of a sexual Shaman or Sex Savior. 

 

I'll call him the Rescuer Sex Shaman. His job is to loosen the grip of predatory sex..