Seductive Coitus - my feminine feelings

[Reena]

It's difficult to understand a woman. When a woman is in her maternal instinct (is there a better word for it then please let me know), she is very loving, coddling and intuitively caring towards the man. It's so natural to women when they like a man. It's a different thing that a man can probably never experience in his lifetime. It's a feeling hard to replicate or understand. It's very biological, strong and hormonal. Its a state gifted to a woman by nature. And in this loving state, a woman wants to make sure the man is happy, she wants to tend to him and care about him. Sometimes she is seeking, sometimes she is giving, both ways she is creating the bond of love.

What men lack is the ability to feel this in women, they sometimes mistake it as weakness and sometimes take it for granted or get too logical about it, question it or try to make sense of it. 

It's a vibe a feeling. Not to be understood or reasoned with. But to be felt and absorbed and respected. 

Automatically everything about you as a man will change. 

 

 

Edited September 23, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

Yea I agree with your post mostly because I as a woman feel the same way. It's hard on me too. I cannot love a guy who submits to me. I love a guy who doesn't submit to me and keeps me wanting. I don't know if it's hormonal. Maybe because it's polarity. If a man is submissive, the woman's brain probably sees a more feminine downplayed version of him and this probably doesn't generate attraction in her. It's the same problem you're describing ironically but this time it's the female. The woman has to compromise with her feminine side in order to accept a loving man. But this is death of her emotions. Her emotions are primarily linked to wanting a man to lead her, dominate her somewhat. The attraction slowly loses as he succumbs to her because then she doesn't see the magnetism. It's like liking another girl. But this kills female primal sexual response if she isn't lesbian. Even in lesbian relationships, one woman has to dominate the other woman and act authoritarian to mimic traditional male female relationships. So it's impossible for a woman to love a girly guy just like it's impossible for a guy to stay detached. 

It's the nature of this ordeal of male female fantasy that the male has to be naturally aggressive and a bit controlling and leading for her to feel the pull. Only natural males like this can attract the feminine woman. Whereas men who can't be naturally this way might have to accept the fact that they can't attract women. 

I had experiences with both masculine and feminine men. I completely forgot the feminine man. I lost attraction for him. I also didn't feel any love. But with the masculine detached man, I felt an extreme pull like I couldn't forget him. Although he wasn't acting masculine. He was just naturally like that. It's not that easy though. Often such men are ruthless and don't care about her emotions. And the woman can end up feeling ruined. So it's a double edged sword - it can be both wrong and right. 

The masculine feminine polarity is quite interesting and needs an extremely careful balance of both intelligence, integrity, rawness and energy. It's only the fine balance that brings peace to both the man and the woman. 

 

[Reena]

However sexual biology is not curated to our  expectations. A gay man is attracted to another man. A man is generally not attracted to a fat woman. These are just facts of life and one has to embrace how stuff works to understand it better than resent it. I expect men to be more masculine. At the same time I realize that this expectation doesn't meet reality. 

 

It's not about objectification. It's a dynamic that is created that increases polarity in a couple. Also remember that a lot of women go through traumas of different kinds, and through that their perception is a bit skewed so they need highly masculine men to lead them. It's like you need a motivational coach if you never go to the gym. That sort of a thing. A balance between feminine and masculine might be nice. But masculinity is declining at such a rate that we don't need to overcompensate femininity. Almost everything is feminine. And men aren't encouraged to be masculine anymore, adding to the woes. Being less masculine does not mean weak or "sissy." It simply means not being in touch with your inner masculinity, not as often as it used to be in the 1920s..Tradtional masculinity is very attractive just like traditional femininity. But all of this requires reinforcing gender stereotypes and cultivating a traditional masculine feminine dynamic. 

 

And I was meaning everything conceptually. 

There is no need to degrade feminine men. We need both masculine and feminine men. This also exists in women as well. Some women are more masculine. They won't need a man to lead them. Everyone is worthy of love but attraction and love aren't the same thing. Of course you can cultivate spiritual love for someone. But romantic attraction is a whole different ball game. It needs a vibe. Otherwise the relationship gets boring very quickly. When I said natural males I meant men who can set this naturally because they don't go through conflict over it, they don't need to pretend to be that way. Whereas for other men this does not come naturally. Just like some people aren't naturally funny. Now for men who struggle with this, the solution is to accept oneself or learn the tricks of the game. Although it will feel like acting in a theater. It's difficult to do. But mind training can work. My recommendation would be watch more man - active content. Not manopshere exactly. 

Just watch content, try to lead the woman in your life, try to create that polarity.. And I don't mean gym. The tone, be domineering and assertive. Over time and practice this will become natural. 

It's the fault of society. We don't pay attention to grooming men to be that way. Keeping everything feminine makes it easy for everyone to control people as you can see with the PC culture. 

Generally when a man likes a woman, his first response is to care for her, show how much he wants her or begin to care for her needs. Often this behavior leads to friendzoning. This is not the response a feminine woman is expecting. She wants him to show she can rely on him. Try to change the first thought. The first response should not be to coddle the woman. The first response should be to activate her sexuality by making her desire you. Rest follows automatically. Although this strategy cannot work with a woman who doesn't wish to be dominated. They will most likely describe such a man as "controlling." 

Change the first response from "I want to love her" to "I want her to love me." 

 

[Reena]

This time I feel like I can't carry on with Benton anymore. It's hard wanting him and resisting him at the same time. This has to be compensated with something different. I came up with another sturdy fantasy. Yea those fantasy characters but they didn't last long. This time I have one character that I created. His name Rakesh short Rak. Rak is the one who is pleasantly dominating towards me. Not that I feel great. No. Because he is not. He waves to marry me even when I don't like him. It's like a forced marriage fantasy. I know it's absurd. 

Yet.... This fantasy is self sustaining. I seek belongingness in this.

 

[Reena]

So the only other person who can compete with Benton is Rak?

 

[Reena]

Benton helps me receive the feminine love of a man  whereas Rak helps me receive the masculine love of a man. 

[Reena]

I have severe mental illnesses and sometimes they can blur my perception of things. You shouldn't really depend on my words for anything. I go into lot of conflicts all the time. Today I say something. One month later I can say something entirely different. It's not my fault. My mind works and creates thoughts and ideas in eccentric ways and I am often not in proximity to reality. Although whatever I say is from direct experience, even experiences can be exceptional and misleading. I fell in love with another severely mentally ill man who was very controlling but also very loving. So it interfered my perception. And I fashioned my ideas out of it. I will never know the truth because I have been rejected by men most of the time. I never had a real chance at experiencing male love and intimacy for longer than a year. So my ideas come from all of my limited experiences. Lucky are those who find love and who find someone they get along with and they are happy in life. I don't know about me. Most people wouldn't want a relationship with a mentally ill person. So I guess I count as an exception. My parents never had a normal relationship. I'll never know what normal feels like. So maybe philosophy fulfills me when reality doesn't. 

 

 

[Reena]

Put your dark femininity on. 

[Reena]

I don't know how to talk about rape. But at some point I have to talk about it. 

Because theres simply no clear understanding of a complex subject like rape. 

 

[Reena]

There's absolutely nothing that you aren't aware of. Or weren't aware of. You purposely preyed on me. You didn't give a fuck about me. 

You didn't care about me. You were hating me. You like my vulnerability. That is all. But in a bad kinda way. Not because you want to honor me. A covert bully. You're the kind of guy I will share my secrets with and next day you tell everyone about it. 

I tried to make peace with you multiple times and yet you never gave me that opportunity. It's simple, you don't want to. My pain is your pleasure. Playing victim is also a pleasure. It's your ego and pride. When you realize you're wrong you walk away. 

 

If you hate me so much you should have probably never shown me love. You wanted to do it for your own egoic reasons.

 

 

 

[Reena]

I think vulnerability is a key solution to a lot of problems. 

[Reena]

At the least he was indifferent to you. At the most he was resentful avoidant and hateful of you.

He could care less if you were hurt. You were simply in love with the wrong guy with the right vibe. It's true you love him. But he wasn't all that jazz your mind made him out to be and this is the real drawback of online relationships. They're always a facade. And false hopes abound. You like someone. They're not really what you think they are. You can't be too sure of them. You need a real relationship where you have sex, spend time together, lots of communication, feeling of passion and love, lots of maturity. 

 

[Reena]

The lack of love you feel has deep rooted issues at the base of it. 

You need intimacy, understanding, someone with good intent, and someone in good faith. 

 

When someone is cold, non bonding, they're not necessarily abusive but they are loveless to you. You don't mean much to them. It could be their personality, their mental health or nature or that they're too machiavelian, they calculate every step and do not consider you important enough or good enough for their agenda. 

 

Some people can appear cordial and sweet on top and lose interest once you develop intimacy with them. Maybe their way of loving is through a distance always. Or they are simply superficial and can never have real emotions at all. Like emotionally empty. There is nothing there. The intimacy is short lived and you would be insane to pursue this with passion. 

You have been cold shouldered. Simple. 

 

 

 

[Reena]

The one way to deflect him is to move towards openness. To only imagine him but always remember that in reality he isn't all that you imagined him to be 

 

Be with someone out there. You don't have to quizz about them. You don't have to live in a mystery all the time. 

You don't have to impress them all the time. You'll be happy and calm with them and have time to focus on other more important stuff. 

 

[Reena]

Be near a source of love, acceptance, comfort, security, attachment, belongingness, bonding, benefit, survival, understanding, companionship. 

 

 

 

 

What will you tell your grandkids one day? That you wasted your entire life for a man who didn't love you?????? 

Edited September 23, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

It won't be rape if there's consent involved. At the same time the word rape has to be removed from the dictionary of love and romance. The word should not exist anywhere around the vocabulary of sex and intimacy. 

It is a heavily complex much misunderstood word. 

Rape is a crime. 

 

Whereas sex that involves games and all kinds of kinky bondage I'll call it SEDUCTIVE COITUS. 

 

Edited September 23, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

I received Benton's dick calmly. 

In my mind he is my husband. 

 

 

What if I magically receive Benton as a gift? 

 

[Reena]

Maybe in his mind I might be nothing more than a carcass if I don't give him what he wants. 

I want his love too. 

 

[Reena]

Don't abandon me please. I love you. I feel like I'm still talking to you. You still talk to me and you still fuck me in my sleep. 

[Reena]

I want your dick. It fascinates me. You fascinate me. You are so lovely and sweet Benton.. You are my dream.