nurthur11

Now we cant say anything?

👀

and for all the world around us

Phil is great. Trust love trust your instinct and trust your people.

I am up for tonight also 7 pm easter time. Would like to see to you all.

I will try to answer these. is it true that one cannot reach it without effort? No it is not. All such thoughts have to be given up? It shouldn't work as this. I should stop listening to Leo gura ? Who is Leo gura? What is happening right now, like what is this exact fucking moment? it is LITERALLY there. RIGHT NOW! THIS!? Nothing is happening right now. Life is happening. What is...... THIS? This is nothing. How can i answer this question myself? it feels impossible. Why? It doesn't feel impossible. Though it feels bad sometimes. How can this moment EXIST?🤣😅 It doesn't.

I am listening to my feeling right now and it feels horrible. I am also listening a voice in my head saying you cant listen to your feeling that is not possible. Don’t listen to your feeling. Then i am listening a voice that says listen don’t tell them to listen that it doesn't make sense. Now i am listening someone inside trying to do and focus at these words that i am writing. Now he is focusing at the focus and my eyes are hurting.

Attention/awareness/effort is the experience of not being explicitly phenomenally conscious rather the < direct knowing >. Now you will try to "kill me" but in fact this is not a function of attention - attention can just help you deal with situation better. It is much positive to be a "professor" than to be a "fighter" when it comes to approval. Though many people become ''fighter'' because of the human nature to predict a positive outcome for themselves in the future , thought it is worth mentioning this is not a function of attention is rather more a wild animal type of reaction.

You are phenomenally conscious that you can think a thought. Let say something happen to you - you smash your head to a door. You can remember what happened and think oh if I was more alert I wouldn't hurt myself, it was meant to happen or the door color was too pale to see, I was drunk etc. It doesn't mean that you have to be explicitly conscious of thinking these thoughts. Phenomenally for me this would be thoughts. You know, as you don't have to be explicitly conscious of seeing to see or explicitly conscious of yourself. If you are using glasses for seeing you will notice that first you are conscious of having them then after carrying them for a longer time you are not phenomenally conscious of them. Does this make sense to you? Pretending to think it would be like if I ask you to think of some colors with yellow color and - you would roll your eyes and make a face like you are thinking. Actually thinking is to put awareness/attention(which we can be phenomenally concious but do not have to be explicitly conscious, self aware type of thing) on these thoughts and let it start scanning the thing you know to be yellow: you can think of a shining light(electric bulb) and what would yellow light to do yellow wall - you can imagine this or name it or imagine a table and put the yellow objects in order. Now that I think of thinking: what are you even saying? From the my perspective there is nothing to believe or not to believe about there being thoughts. If you decide to believe that there are thoughts or in contrary you would most probably end up putting your attention in a pretend like sentient in you which doesn't have thoughts - while all of that is just a thought in its own. I think is better that you don't form believe about ideas that you cannot form believes.

I saw Kanye West in a recent interview with Lex Fridman. I think he has been sad and disempowered for a long time but he tries to compensate this with "engineering". Most of us here accept that we cant imitate the patterns of yourself while discarding how we are feeling - one will eventually feel numb or burst into anger. Is very good to accept defeat/sadness/fear right away. He talk's a lot about being rational and how engineer(here he mention something similar to presence) is the only profession we need and history is not useful, but doesn't do a good job in being rational himself. I know this was about Kanye but this is how I would relate to his experience.

That is not your true nature - the "totality of who you are" is your true nature. Take it very simple, you go out in nature you see a bear you will feel the fear the awareness/good feeling by itself doesn't feel(if you want to examine as a separate thing). You are aware of the fear and awareness works without you. Awareness does not last similarly in all the individuals - though the function of awareness is the same in all. Some go to sleep or stay awake and fry their brain before others. You can examine this it doesn't take so much intelligence. Though this good feeling can help you examine, resist or let go of fear if it becomes prolonged or in a form of trauma - can help you learn how to stand better. Believing that awareness/attention is our true nature is like believing in god and this is just escaping from the human life - it is a stance for weak people. Think about how you came to believe that this good feeling is your true nature. Basically you are saying to your self that there is me then this other thing that is coming is my true nature now I am complete, then you go again in this circle. This is like a conjuring up a compensation to feeling bad. If you belive in this process to be your true nature you will end up numb. This happens by itself if you are feeling bad you notice that your body start going in circle to produce a better feeling for you.

fishy fishy ❤️

Did u move up the scale?

I cant beat presence. I can't be more present than I am right now.

Nice input - i agree with this! Myself appears in interaction with others, automatically. It feels much better not controlling it.

When you say you can feel however you want in whatever sequence of emotion you are saying that there is you and there is another one who is feeling something about that emotion. Is these free two? What is not free?

@Omelette I definitely need the approval of the people around me. But i could and have in the past spend my life alone and felt happy and good - mby had only my family who was there always but didnt over care nor did i need care. I feel today s people need also the care. A conscious “you need to taking care of me”. I was the type of person look you are my people hi, bye and now i want to talk who ever wants to listen can listen. I rarely would get angry - even in the cases i was angry i would resolve and make the relationship better if i didnt resolve i would stick to my guns and thats that. Nowadays is so complicated “ here i said smth that made the other person feel bad now they will hate me” and “omg why does he speak to me like this” (never stand up just think about it), “ i have to respect the hierarchy, show dominance and be smart about relationship” . Sometimes things like this contribute to losing social calibration. I never get back home and am very bad at this type of thing - my focus don’t really hold for a long time and i am very excited about social interaction that i lose the sense of controlling myself. To put it simply: I would say that to make a home for yourself and the other person you like to be in your home is necessary to feel safe and have good feelings (enjoy the interaction).

@Omelette Jessie j has a song called, its okay not to be okay. I wrote this text under not feeling okay - but i can now recognize couple hours later that its just human problems men. Sometime the mind get constipated.

I read this or saw it in Mandy’s video and it is a very good pointer. Many times you will feel shity, alone, bad with yourself or alone. If you dont let this feeling sink you will never make your own home or go back to your home. In turn, you will make people around you feel shitty and destroy your future. This feeling can be also tracked in the emotional scale - the lower feelings. If you dont know how to let it express it or feel it dont really worrie to find it - it is the most obvious evident feeling its how you are in the moment. It is who you are - what you call me.

Yeah, i also believe that no one will ever fulfill the need for approval. There is a you who doesn’t want to let go a broken relationship or is trying to salvage whatever is left of that relationship while at the same time feeling anger. This you is also responsible for your style( how you speak, how you appear to others and so on), if you believe that you are paying attention you will act paying attention. This is like the acting you. For me this is me thought who is most connected to others while simultaneously not attaching. This you has to make a home. In my experience when “home” or i become focused in this you i let go of other cravings as well(from this messed up sentence you can understand that home it will get created by itself.) . In my case i do alot of negative behavior when i dont get approval, overereating, smoking etc. I believe if you stay “home” you can manage to go long time without getting approval. Also, i am accepting more and more everyday that one has to get used to fighting for approval. Imagine, everyone wants to be approved, liked, loved, respected. For example, if you are playing chess and your opponent smacks you don’t expect from them to share their approval or trying to trick them into giving you approval, but also don't be afraid of them.

Intuition is all you need. For example, I just recently had experience with people who have cancer and was going to talk with them and so on. I was very worried that I was going to overthink the situation or start making them feel worse than they are feeling. I decided to just go with my intuition and came out very happy. I had to let go of worrying, focusing, being aware or w/e. Is just intuitively belonging regardless of the feared outcome. Not really thinking they are your family or your talking to your brother or w/e just intuitively belonging. From my experience intuition it cannot be pointed in experience or presence we can just talk about it.

I am not sure but i would say: 12 i believe is a good time to end the game 21 could be that yourself got deleted or is not functioning basically your a dog or is the other way around I am actually would like to know myself. Mby we have some smart people in the forum who are willing to share. Pretty sure they are related attention, position and those thing.

30 min of flow for breathing would be a waste for energy for me. Grounding(shikantaza) can be useful sometimes(definitely in the morning) and also thinking about priorities and life before reacting with emotions and sabotaging oneself.

If i go in flow - i will die in approx 15-20 min. Doesn’t matter if it is full flow or just frame to frame type of attention or energy, if you are performing it is best that you are in flow. This is like painless experience, control over what one is doing is effortless and so on - all the qualities thar we know are in awareness. Depends what activity you are doing - is much harder to flow in activities in which you dont know how to do because you will not be able awareness to take over and thus you will lose energy, forget to deal with a distraction. If you flow you will be doing one thing this doesnt mean that feel or know that your “attention is directed” over one thing in your experience it means that the you will “ deal “ the “entire experience” of what you are doing is “inside” your “knowing” present moment. What i am trying to say is that there is no diving of attention. As much as you go into flow the easier the easier it gets even if you lose it for a short time. I have a very short attention span but once i understood the nature of attention/awareness it has become very easy to get into flow when doing some activity. I am not sure how to explain so it make sense. You have to know what awareness does. For example, the feeling awareness gives you a sense of relief, effortless, energy, presence those same people qualities will be in whatever form that attention will take. What i notice is that is it vert important once you “die” to not push yourself because you will overheat yourself. From this perspective is very hard to make the case that attention and the qualities of your thinking self or your ego are the same thing. They definitely can merge with each other. If attention or awareness energy dies your self will remain - less functional.

I am up for another one.