fopylo

@Jonas Long I just found it very funny what you wrote, thanks dawg

@Jonas Long 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 Bro you must be like top comment on some tiktok memes

@Phil How can you be sure she likes me? Of course bro. Of course I'm not comfortable talking about that lol I don't want to assume it. It would just be weird if it isn't the case. I am not planning on being upfront about this unless I see that I have no choice (like if she asks me certain questions imma answer her real). truly exhausting, and also never works. Because then I can learn for next time, and be better at handling those types of situations. I guess...

Thanks bro I appreciate it

@Phil I am thinking of myself as not such a confident person and not much of a man. I think in terms of looks I'm kinda good. Those emotions are telling me that this is what I'm feeling and that I don't want this situation, and that I want to be better socially.

I'm writing this kinda in the heat of the aftermath. I was having dinner at the army base with 2 guy friends, and there's this girl from my platoon who past by and we waved at each other and then she came to take some napkins, and the guy sitting next to me was starting to nudge me and giving those winks as if she didn't really notice it (I'm even not into her), and in order not to make the situation awkward by being silent I told her she can take the whole thing if she wants but refused and shyly went back to her group of friends. For context, this girl is fairly new to the workplace and she came together with like 20 other people that went through the same course together. I'll call her Y. A different girl from the course (I'll call her A) was assigned to my team, and we have a good connection. Y is convinced that I'm into her (and I presume she thinks the same of A) and that we should be together. I'm personally not into it now and I don't really like this situation with Y (I am also not sure whether Y finds me attractive or not from the ambiguous things she says). Ok, so back to the story. I went out the base and was waiting for the bus and was on my phone while I was waiting until all of a sudden Y appears out of nowhere with a few of her girl friends and a guy friend (who is pretty chill and doesn't have much to do with the topic. All of them are from the same course). So they were surrounding me standing and Y started attacking me with "What fopylo? What (attacking tone)? How has your day been going (in a lighter tone)? Do you know where is A (trying to trigger me)?" And I'm all nervous up barely able to speak, and also some of her friends where starting asking me questions like what course I did and what am I doing, like with no point. Just asking for the sake of saying something to me. I really felt attacked. I HATED this feeling because I was very scared, and felt very weak. I was very disappointed at first that I am very weak as a man and I don't think I handled this situation with much confidence. Like, how is a man supposed to act when a girl and a few of her friends come surrounding you with intimidation and laughing at you? This is probably the worse. But afterwards I was kinda thankful for this event as it showed me that I have more room to grow in terms of social skills and better handling situations. I was glad that I saw a friend of mine and I tried being more with him and masking my feelings of FEAR, insecurity and hatred. I really don't understand what was the whole purpose of all of this. Aren't people, mostly women, nowadays more aware of the suffering that many men go through, such as this? I am very sure that some men if not a lot can relate to this fear and those feelings of insecurity being toyed like that by women. This is not red pill stuff, and I am not going to blame women for that. The only thing I'll blame is either the friend that nudged me and probably started this whole thing and Y made her own interpretation of all of this, or that I wasn't good at handling this situation and affirmed my weakness as man - not being confident. And the reason I won't blame women is because all of out behaviors are somehow derived from pre-historic times that contributed to our survival, and the only good thing that I can probably do is to understand the psychology of the situation and be better at navigating it next time. With all that said I'd be really happy if I could get tips, or better understanding of the situation from ya'll, could even be thoughts, opinions. But I don't want so much spiritual enlightenment thoughts, please. I want it practical. To understand and become a better man. If you read until here I really appreciate that you took the time to read and go through this scary story I've experienced. Thanks❤🙏

@Phil The change in subjective experience...? Change has pretty much been the most consistent thing throughout history

With all the challenges of becoming an adult and changes, I still feel that the change in culture is hardest to accept. The music, games, memes, entertainment, way of talking - were better a little while ago. They hit more home, but this is perhaps because I grew with those. This is probably why older people claim that the music of their time was the best... (as an example). But yeah, times are changing ever quicker. We are part of history. In 100 years time we would be just taking part in another big change of history. Nothing is static. Yuval Noah Harari is a great person and I LOVE his books and gives me greater understanding, but it is still a little scary. I am really scared that the world would look so different, and that there would be sometime a nuclear war.

@Phil I like that sentence. Really. The narrative self vs the experiential self. Like in meditation... Reminds me of the difference between actually feeling the breath vs focusing on the thought that there's a me who is currently doing the breathing.

@Ceejay Thanks for your kind words. You are right. I would probably have my own style of socializing. I'm probably more introverted than him, and prefer meeting in smaller groups of people. I believe it's about being comfortable in your own style, and I am not very comfortable with people, even with small groups. I believe you need to have social skills in order to survive in society, whether it's working in small groups, talking to a group of people, or even 1-1 talks.

Hi, I was planning on making this post for some time and I'm doing it very spontaneous now. I'll just get to the main point. I'm jealous of my brother that he is doing better socially, romantically, has a richer life experience, has good family relationships, has a clean and tidy room (very stylish), gets dress nicely, and is constantly learning new skills and open about them. The only thing I have better is that I have a good body and strength, and that I read books and understand history better, and that I am better at learning stuff like languages. I'm not trying to be above him. I just don't want to be far off from him. He is my younger brother of 2 years apart. It's a little humiliating for me as the older brother. I've recently came to the conclusion that in order to be successful in life it is VITAL to harness those SOCIAL SKILLS, since we are social creatures and create big changes with the help of others. My social skills are so terrible that it makes me worry. I really feel like I'm stuck behind in this aspect. No wonder I'm not living a great life. I've pushed social interaction aside for quite some time, and instead I've been focusing on completing to watch a series of reaction videos to anime of a YouTuber, which takes pretty much most of my time and don't do anything interesting on the weekend - staying static. I am not living the best life I could. I won't go through natural selection of life. I don't even know if I'd ever have/want a girlfriend, or kids, or to get married. Those things seem like a myth.

@Phil What about “I think or believe that…..”? This way there’s ‘room’ left for how these thoughts or beliefs feel. Oh, I see. Thanks for lighting this up for me. When believing that I feel all kinds of those descriptions, I can acknowledge they are actually beliefs, and then leaving room for the feeling to be, with no descriptions, correct?

That's what chatgpt had to say: It's not uncommon to experience challenges in meditation, especially when trying to focus on the breath. Instead of trying to force a change in your experience, consider observing your thoughts without judgment. Acknowledge them, then gently redirect your attention to the breath. Acceptance and patience can be key in cultivating a more peaceful meditation practice. If you find it difficult to isolate the feeling, try simply observing the overall sensation without getting caught up in the narrative. It's okay to have moments of difficulty; the practice is about bringing your awareness back to the present moment.

@Mandy I just feel that it is forced and that focusing on the breath is a "changing the way things are" and getting caught up in the story of me meditating on the breath... It's mostly due to the ambiguity of feeling and that it always involves some thought with the felt sensation that makes it hard to isolate the feeling and follow its track. Thoughts claim so hard the belief of myself doing things, and the moments of really feeling like myself and honest with emotions is quite rare

I just did my morning meditation session and it didn't go so well (also the one yesterday)... I tried to focus on my breath and instead got caught in thoughts about the breath, myself, and feeling, instead of actually feeling the breath. This was quite frustrating, was feeling discord in stomach and head while meditating. Brings me back to those times when I slowly started quitting after experiencing those consistencies.