nurthur11

I feel like the only way to get myself to do new things is to trick myself. I feel like whatever makes me feel good I will want to do it more in the future. Even if that activity gets harmful for my life, I will still want to do it. There is not so much room on being smart at that point. This type of circular behavior makes me angry at myself. Do you think “tricking” myself could be a solution? I.e Being more intentional of how I spend my day and were I put my energy. Sadly, I am not really sure if there is deep desires - just chasing feeling good.

This is something useful in meditation I presume. How do you experience discord? Can thoughts about sexual arousal become discord? Negative self judgment? Thoughts about being gay? How can one tell what is a discord and what is not? I want to believe that most of my actions are based on addictions(wanting to talk, get the attention from others). How to put a break on myself? Mby this is also questions for @Phil

So not to put focus or think about the suffering? Yeah, but for me is hard to not focus at suffering. That would also mean to not put focus on oneself, rather to let the suffering free to say - it makes sense what you are saying. Not sure what you mean by listening to it?

Then to stay free of discord is to stop figuring out? What to do when we want to figure out something? How to stay discord less then?

He is actually super correct here. The truth is that we all are natural born leaders, some just are harder workers, talented, more driven and so on. Having "leader trait's" it is not something you work on consciously. You need to realize that you are the leader of yourself, experientially.

Try to hangout with a person you don't like or resonate with - it is not so easy. I would say there are thing that you like and that you don’t like. But I would be curious to know - if you drop the "I cant accomplish things" then you will do more? For me this is, a confidence type of thing and believing that you have what it takes. Confidence is build with practice for sure. Once you know for sure you can do something you don’t have to put too much effort in doing it, in turn performing that action will give you energy and satisfaction. I just learned how to play tennis table to playable level. Before I was filled with anxiety when I had to return a ball, mainly because all I had was hopefully awareness take over and returns it or I get lucky. Now that I know the mechanic I cant wait to return it. So yeah, it takes practice to build confidence in some activities.

Both. In some cases i try to be because i feel i need to be better so if i just be i will figure out faster what to do - this I would describe as discord. I can tell I am getting dissociated so I let go and then i just be but there is no apparent self that is being. As you put it is just awareness. If then I focus on something i eventually bring them in and i become aware of those thing specifically. (It becomes like a discord of some sort) In other words is trying then not trying then trying. Is neither or, in the case of doing. What gives me a lot of release is that the appearance of my being it is not something I am creating. Definitely, awareness is aware. Just wanted to give you a longer answer.

This experience I just had while doing something, i am not sure if it will be the same when not doing.

You are right I was left. I didn’t stick! Today i lost it and felt very bad about losing my being :d - because then i didn’t know who i was, I didn’t go out and felt depressive. I tried to make it up the being but it didn’t come. Then as I was doing something I found my being again (at this time I gave up finding my being), before finding i I still had like thoughts of my being, some pain in my eyes but it didnt feel whole. Then i noticed that it was apparent yet i felt like I am doing. There were the emotion, feelings, knowing what i want, confidence no apparent self. From the experience of today i can say that the negative guy, the I, the thought wanting to find being all are the same thing. I have three of those. There is either resonation or not. To be unaware in my opinion, is to directly experience effortlessly. and gz i found my being again lul

Hi this is Bardhi the negative guy, I don't want to show my real name so I made another acc. If you realize what I mean, your problem's will not vanish but you will feel good in your body and life will become much simpler. All you have to do is be. But the important thing is that being feels unconscious (in the terms that you are not explicitly aware). Normally while trying to be you will direct your thought or attention towards presence. Just writing this sentence made me self aware of being. Self awareness is made of different things than beingness that is why it doesn't feel right. I don't know how to explain it. I still have a being self and a thought self, but those are different than being thoughts, feelings, perceptions. Does this give you a picture how different it is? Okay, one more attempt to explain: hands, feelings, thoughts are unconscious, you are conscious. Okay, I will try to build up the image of being self: this experience of Self has to have a place were the hands stay and were the feet stay, there needs to be a place were sense of self stays and so on. So imagine all the places are unaware, they just happen. One can rebuild these places by putting his thought/attention- but when being these stay unaware these place which create the feeling Self being aware. I made a pie with text now. Hope it make some sense.