blessed journal

[Phil]

Of a thought, an interpretation… yeah.

 

There’s no need to label the nature of yourself as healing, understanding, or really even clarity. 

[Blessed2]

1 hour ago, Phil said:

Of a thought, an interpretation… yeah.

 

There’s no need to label the nature of yourself as healing, understanding, or really even clarity. 

 

🙏

[Blessed2]

Another discordant belief spotted!

 

This time "about" enlightenment. Or that there is enlightenment.

 

The interpretation has been that enlightenment is like seeing an object.

 

That a character practices self-inquiry in time and at some point, when he has practices enough, he sees as if through some kind of window and sees god.

 

That seeing God requires practice and effort.

 

That there is a moment in time when one suddenly sees God.

 

Like literally the image in mind is someone sitting, practicing self-inquiry, their mind being silent and turned inside, "seeing God".

 

That's discordant.

 

Who would I be without that thought?

 

Like an unobscured water hose.

 

 

[Blessed2]

Thinking "that person is so far away from being healed and enlightened, it would take years of therapy, meditation and work for them to get there" is me telling that to myself.

 

 

[Blessed2]

I don't want to work for money.

 

I want to have a project that I do in my own terms, when I feel like it, and because it's fun.

[Blessed2]

Oh wow I'm really feelin Reiki now. Somewhere before christmas it started feeling stronger. Something is up.

 

Now I've started to feel something on the right side of the chest, like a really intense longing. I've read that there's a "spiritual heart" there, Ramana Maharshi mentions something about that.

 

I just feel like pressing hands or different objects against that spot.

 

A moment ago I felt like "pulling" Reiki out from there with hands. That felt REALLY intense.

 

Omg I just want to go to the second course and fucking explode. I want the third eye open. I want to see. I want harmony. I want to heal. I want channels open.

 

[Blessed2]

You know what doesn't resonate with LoA? (Or maybe what has been my interpretation of it).

 

It's that if a goal or a desire is a my goal or desire, it also seems like my job to get there.

 

But if it's God's plan / goal... It's His job, and I'm just in for the ride.

 

 

I'd much rather hand it all over to God / Source, see what it comes up with for me, rather than what I come up with for myself.

 

 

[Blessed2]

Today a thought came to mind, that I want to do "God's work".

 

I want Him to be my employer.

 

 

Basically, lead me to the right place in the right time and I'll do my best.

 

What would you have me do?

 

Where would you have me go?

 

What would you have me say, and to whom?

 

Let me leave this burden of planning to you.

 

[Alexander]

Man you have to plan your life, nobody else is gonna do it.Just you always you,forever you.

[Blessed2]

7 minutes ago, Alexander said:

Man you have to plan your life, nobody else is gonna do it.Just you always you,forever you.

 

Nah that feels like shit. And honestly, looking at the fruits of it, my planning hasn't been that great.

 

Feels better to just sit back and relax.

 

[Mandy]

Relaxation isn't really relaxation if it's avoiding the alternative, is it? Like you can't have a rest day if you don't exercise the other days. 

[Blessed2]

5 hours ago, Mandy said:

Relaxation isn't really relaxation if it's avoiding the alternative, is it? Like you can't have a rest day if you don't exercise the other days. 

 

There is no happiness without suffering?

 

What kind of happiness is that?

 

[Mandy]

30 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

 

There is no happiness without suffering?

 

What kind of happiness is that?

 

Dualistic happiness. "Happiness" is kicking ass, taking names, and then resting and restoring. A great nights sleep after hard work. A warm home feels so good after being out for a walk in the cold. Make up sex, reunion after a long absence sex. Major notes and minor notes, melancholy songs and upbeat ones, that kinda thing colors life, is the vortex, "makes you feel alive". You can have it without the unnecessary drama of it. 

[Blessed2]

5 minutes ago, Mandy said:

taking names

 

What does "taking names" mean in this? I've heard that many times from americans, but I have no idea what it means. 😁

 

6 minutes ago, Mandy said:

Dualistic happiness. "Happiness" is kicking ass, taking names, and then resting and restoring. A great nights sleep after hard work. A warm home feels so good after being out for a walk in the cold. Make up sex, reunion after a long absence sex. Major notes and minor notes, melancholy songs and upbeat ones, that kinda thing colors life, is the vortex, "makes you feel alive". You can have it without the unnecessary drama of it. 

 

Still sounds like "there's only happiness if also suffering".

 

I don't wanna.

 

I don't want to work. I want just happiness. Too much to ask?

 

[Mandy]

Just now, Blessed2 said:

 

What does "taking names" mean in this? I've heard that many times from americans, but I have no idea what it means. 😁

 

No idea. It's a saying. 😂

1 minute ago, Blessed2 said:

 

I don't want to work. I want just happiness. Too much to ask?

 

Work is one of the best pleasures in life, imo. There isn't really work/rest separation, ya know?  

[Blessed2]

1 minute ago, Mandy said:

No idea. It's a saying. 😂

 

Americans just say shit, shoot guns and write good music.

 

4 minutes ago, Mandy said:

Work is one of the best pleasures in life, imo. There isn't really work/rest separation, ya know?  

 

Hmm... Maybe.

 

I'd like to not have work and rest.

 

The best case scenario would be always at work, always holiday.

 

The dream is to work.

 

But dream work doesn't seem to be coming up. All opportunities seem to suck big time.

 

Maybe I have to watch some DreamWorks movie.

 

[Mandy]

It works!

[Blessed2]

Last night SUCKED. Couldn't sleep. Discord came up and out (hopefully).

 

Was willing to let thoughts feel.

 

I've been trying to find activities.

 

I've been thinking of doing some volunteering work.

 

I've been thinking of going to see a social worker or a professional.

 

I've been thinking of doing this and that.

 

Last night I noticed how deeply, disgustingly discordant it has been feeling.

 

How I've judged myself.

 

How I've projected that judgement as if coming from outside.

 

One thing that helped that discord to be noticed and helped it to come up and out was forgiveness. Have been feeling some intense discord in regard to Phil for some reason. So I utilized forgiveness.

 

Noticed that it seems impossible for there to not be discord as long as there is a separate Phil-personality. (Or any personality).

 

Only infinity will do. Infinity cannot know finite and so there is no judgement.

 

Don't see yet how to "get there" in forgiveness though, but got a feeling it's not my job per se. Gonna leave it to Source.

 

 

It's so boring. I don't have anything to do.

 

But having something to do feels discordant too.

 

 

Uhg, the discord is so intense. I don't feel like writing. I feel like I'm not understood here. I feel like I'm judged. I don't want to hear why I experience this discord. I don't want to hear that I'm doing things wrong. I don't want to hear that I should address this and that.

 

"Address". FUCK YOU

 

 

I want to leave this day for someone else. I don't want to lead the way. I want to be like a baby on the passenger seat, sleeping in a baby seat, with someone else driving the car.

 

I want to leave this day for the holy spirit. I won't plan. I won't try. I won't do any work. You do it, I'll follow your gentle lead. I'll be like a sleeping baby.

 

[Blessed2]

On 1/3/2024 at 6:32 PM, Blessed2 said:

Huh. There's a belief that what's in the future cannot be known.

 

99.999999%, if not all of us, are going around in life, assuming that future cannot be known. It's like a given fact, that what will happen in the future simply cannot be known.

 

It's kind of weird, isn't it? How many of us actually doubt that belief? How many is "crazy enough"?

 

What if it's some sort of an illusion? What if there is no future... It's a thought... Yet, it would be possible to "know" what will happen? What if it's just a dream?

 

Let's see. I'll draw a card now, asking what will happen tomorrow:

 

I felt like drawing three cards, for the time between now & seven days from now. So these are for a week, starting from today:

 

 

These are from a Reiki - theme deck. Did it with Reiki activated.

 

Here's what the guidebook of the deck says:

 

Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen (Distance) is the distance healing Reiki symbol. Means to connect over space & time. "Facilitating the healing needed to release karma. It can also represent resolving karmic issues, revealing past life connections, origins going back to 'Akashic Records', and clarity of mind - 'right thinking'. Keeping your mind on the truth of any situation, and the proper course of action, you will experience positive results for all involved."

 

Shokkan (Loving Touch) "represents a loving touch. Touch is our first sense we experience in our mother's womb. (...) We know from studies that a mother's touch can relieve pain in children. Touch can be a sign of affection and/or a non-verbal communication to another."

 

Kenshou Guriddo (Manifesting Grid). This is quite simply just manifestation / LoA.

 

Let's see if these themes show up in the next seven days.

 

Doesn't seem like any of these things happened btw. Maybe you could find some connections, but nothing significant that would actually stand out as clearly evident "proof".

[Blessed2]

20 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

 

Doesn't seem like any of these things happened btw. Maybe you could find some connections, but nothing significant that would actually stand out as clearly evident "proof".

 

Let's try again. Three cards. This time from  a different deck.

 

I'll activate Reiki again.

 

Let's also crank up the power/intention by expressing what's asked for with physical writing:

 

In a few minutes, I will draw three cards as an attempt to learn if having some insight into future events is possible. I ask The Field, the vibratory plane, the invisible realm, to aid me in this attempt. I ask you to show me something of the future, of the next seven days. This is my intention. Thank you.

 

 

Okay. Let's do it.

 

 

Dragonfly, Emergence

 

- Dragonflies skip the cocoon phase, going directly from egg directly to nymph. At some point it climbs onto a rock or a leaf and emerges from it's old body into a dragonfly. Very radiant, colourful, beautifully dancing on water.

 

- Sudden, rapid, maybe unexpected emergence to new maturity / new cycle of life. Broadened consciousness, heightened perceptual capacity.

 

River, Movement

 

- Going with the flow

 

- Water is more important than food

 

- Surrender to movement of life

 

Cave, Sanctuary

 

- Shelter, sacred symbols, spiral

 

- Quiet, still place. Peaceful setting in nature vs. busy modern life. A temple.

 

- Connection between internal and external