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Mandy

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Mandy belongs to the Staff group.

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  • Books I Recommend
    Mister God This is Anna, by Fynn I Am That, Nissargadatta, The Nature of Consciousness by Rupert Spira

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  1. Because their own life is a thought, and the only aligned thoughts are yours.
  2. GLORIOUS DISSAPPOINTMENT. disappoint (v.) mid-15c., disappointen, "dispossess of appointed office," from dis- "reverse, opposite of" + appoint, or else from Old French desapointer "undo the appointment, remove from office" (14c., Modern French from désappointer). Modern sense of "to frustrate the expectations or desires of" is from late 15c. of persons; of plans, etc., "defeat the realization or fulfillment of," from 1570s, perhaps via a secondary meaning of "fail to keep an appointment." It is ok for people to disappoint me and it is ok for me to disappoint others, because we are never truly the cause of an emotion in another, that's the disappointment, you're no longer the one I appointed to make you happy, and I'm not longer the one appointed to make you happy or explain anything to you. The Katz deli scene is a far better analogy than I initially realized. Funny how corrections to identification can seem to either be "oh that's me too!" or "oh that's not me". The separation is the only illusion, but sometimes "there's no you" is interpreted in that you're going to be cut in half, or we're just going to ignore one half of the whole from now on, but thought is always presently seeming to draw the line. It's also strange how you can only lead people though by saying, "no, it's the thought occurring now", but in expression, we accidently uncover treasure in trying to dig to fix something else. Like the time my kitchen sink stopped draining and we dug up the backyard to fix it and found an antique Lightning jar. Sometimes approaches turn this idea into a "way" and they delve and dig around for all the buried hazardous wastes, the stuff we tried to cover over like a cat using a litterbox that stinks, that leaches, the poisons the groundwater. Yet if you try to turn digging up your yard into a career, if you try to fix what ain't broken, you're just gonna have a muddy dug up pit of ground, no matter how free of toxic waste and buried debris it is, you have to leave it alone to let it grow if you want to enjoy it. The other approach is completely ignoring the sense that there's something off, and refusing to investigate at all. We plant roses on top, but they never thrive. "I wasn't upset by the pandemic. I'm enlightened. There's nothing to see or explore here. It's over anyway." In a way it's true, but there's some appreciation there that wasn't allowed. Like the willingness to throw up what you previously ate that's never gonna settle and nurture you, there's also willingness to stop wretching when nothing is coming up and to sip some ginger ale and watch TV so everything can settle, so the habitual reflex of throwing everything up can slow down. Be willing to upset the peace, let go what you called your own, and then let it be. You aren't the keeper of Peace. This is Peace. I don't know how to coherently explain this. I don't know, when Source is so often pointing to inside jokes, analogies that can't be explained to another. In order to understand the Katz deli reference you both had be in NYC with your conservative inlaws, had a panic attack in Katz deli, and have seen the scene from when Harry Met Sally, and to have known what Source pointed to with the sick cats that were in the wall you gutted, and.... to explain the inside jokes seems to unwieldy. For you, to another. But you've been dis-appointed. Or the heart transplant, the dam and the loud man in the town office. It's simply looking at what you're attracting, having the curiosity of unwrapping the gifts in the hideous, weird AF wrapping paper. My son just showed me a youtube video of a guy that turns hazardous chemicals into edible ones. Are people ready for this? It's so creepy, realizing that separation isn't there. People will never be ready for it. That's why the creepy interpretation. It's arrogance isn't it. Are you ready for this jelly? "I'm too good for you. I'm too Good, ever expanding, there is no you. Are they asking for it? Are they asking for love, something deeper and better and less conditional than security, are they asking for the feeling of magic, appreciation and wonder? Is the material chasing inherently fulfilling? No one cares what you do, so you might as well do the insane, crazy thing, out of daring love, even if it looks like mundanely writing a book. I have the laptop. But what if I don't have time? Time is just expansion, it will expand. Doesn't seem like you can give, no one really knows how that works, especially not any woman that's given birth. No clue. 😂 It's ok if some things lapse for a while and you need to recover after. It's ok if you gain some weight. It's ok if the start is the worst part when no one knows, isn't that the best part? Should this only be explained in general terms? How do you know general and specific? "Only general" is a specific. How do you know which is which? You don't, it just points to feeling and willingness to let go. Specific stories actually work generally, because there isn't a self in them. You aren't the tortoise or the hare, you aren't the little old lady who swallowed the fly. General and specific works because of the self, identification hang up. So this is YOUR hang up. And you keep telling them it's theirs but that too is your hang up in exclusion of anyone. What if it's no one's hang up? Then it's not a hang up. https://www.etymonline.com/word/hang up#:~:text=hang up (v.),)%3B telephone sense by 1911. It's supported only from above. I can't take the suspense.
  3. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhggggg. Cabin fever. https://www.amazon.com/Cabin-Fever-B-M-Bower/dp/1417914688 Stuck with you. Not two. Stuck here. Not two. It used to be a fantasy, now it's a nightmare. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jul/09/covid-ms-zaandam-cruise-ship-global-pariah 4 years ago now, what a crazy, unsure time, mostly coasted through, what did we learn? Does everything have to have expansion, a benefit to it, is everything a lesson? What's happening in Haiti, how insanely lucky and free to move about we really are. I rescheduled the trip I was going to take 4 years ago that was canceled because of covid, only now I'm not going alone and I'm not trying to overcome anything, it's just for the joy of it. That hits the spot. (That's what she said.) I never left. It's paradise. It's forgotten paradise. Clarity. Paradise. I don't believe in Trauma. Adler was right, not Freud. lol It wasn't a trauma for me. Why do I receive collective traumas? Like the woman driving over the bridge who isn't afraid of bridges? Because you're a match, vibrating there. It's not circumstantial, it's far more general than that. Insecurity is insecurity. So why is there relief in fully going into the general drama? You took yourself out of the equation all that was left was appreciation and compassion. You went from specific, me and my March in the rural northern hemisphere to humans have felt this from the beginning of time and the flip side is the fantasy of intimacy, being stranded on an island with someone you could really have a relationship with, but is too busy for you otherwise. It's not someone else, it's not a romantic interest, it's you. Nothing is romantic is it? Oh, everything is romantic. Boy, you never get anywhere new, but it sure seems like you can approach is from so many different ways. The message is always the same but the JOURNEY. Quite a trip. AND THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE MISSING! I just commented on the woman who posted the disgusting foot bruise picture who TRIPPED! I didn't want to but intuition made it seem like it was a good idea. She couldn't see what was good, how she was ascending spiritually from doing some sort of spiritual dance and tripping, and not being able to move around because her foot was so hurt. If she can't conceptualized where she was going, she would have seen that it was showing her, she isn't going anywhere. You're really something else, making people go on trips by staying right fucking here. You don't move. You aren't ever gonna top that hill. 😂
  4. Yesterday day off except for walk with dog, 125.4 125.6 Too much chocolate, but I ate it all, so it's a self solving problem. har har. Used 10lb weights throughout, I've never done a Carolyn workout with lighter weights and faster movements. Challenging but not exhausting, I'm almost able to do full push ups the whole time but not quite.
  5. Separate selves aren't deluded, they are the delusion. "In the Vortex in the now", "Out of the Vortex in the now". It's not something that you have that's yours forever more, but an in the moment thing. People who write or speak a lot have lots of opportunities to both clarify thoughts and if they are heard/read to perpetuate thoughts whether clarified or not.
  6. I keep trying to explain how to do this, but I guess it's something that happens naturally and so explaining it seems foreign. When I journal I will acknowledge thoughts of disconnected things, random events and symbolism, it's basically just the willingness to receive a thought that has nothing to do with why it is I think there's a problem. What I find is that the key is often in these first seeming disconnected thoughts. I think there is a problem because my kid was excluded from his second group online, and I also feel so bleh, doesn't feel great, feels like running on the treadmill at too fast of a pace when you're just holding on for dear life and dodging the moving belt from throwing you off instead of actually running. The hairbrush brand is goody, it's right in front of me. Underneath that the last part of a name reading "rans." "I am" a goody goody. It's the attempt to identify good and therefore hijack the Good. Everything that "makes sense" isn't true, it's just an aligned thought right now. Beliefs are one time use only, disposable, because all a belief is, is a thought you convince yourself you've thought before. But "before" is a belief too. Seems true. Yeah, I dunno, I'll throw that one like some Styrofoam take out packing too. Or maybe I'll make some modern art out of it, and it will hang on the wall of a art gallery and be restored and revered again and again like the Mona Lisa. What is fame and recognition but the silly illusion that you've seen it before? before (adv., prep.) Old English beforan "in front of, in former times; in the presence of, in front of in time or position," from Proto-Germanic *bi- "by" (see by) + *forana "from the front," adverbial derivative of *fora (from PIE root *per- (1) "forward," hence "in front of, before"). Compare Old Frisian bifara, Old Saxon biforan, Old High German bifora, German bevor. As a conjunction, "previous to the time when," from c. 1200. Contrasting before and after in illustrations is from Hogarth (1768). Before the mast in old sailing ship jargon in reference to the life of a common sailor is from the place of their berths, in front of the fore-mast. https://www.etymonline.com/word/before Just like the brand name on the hairbrush was "before" me, in front of me. "Jesus said, "Know what is in front of your face, and what is hidden from you will be disclosed to you."
  7. I would just write whatever your thoughts are and if thoughts come up judging those thoughts put them in parentheses and keep going. Use the emotional scale to check the emotion, if you don't know, keep writing.
  8. That's an assumption and interpretation, and emotions are felt, that's not the vibe. Sound like an expectation of yourself. I think most people want to have a fun, engaging life full of love, but noticing that you're not there now is just comparison and not creating. Now is already love and engaged and doesn't need people to kick ass and take names. 😂 Sounds as chaotic as parenthood, only you get paid. 😂 You can do this. It's just calling for more focus than ever.
  9. Where has anyone said that on the forum, except for you right now? 😂 Love ya. It's not you. It's not you. It's not you. It's not about you. You are loved though, asides from that, not personal though.
  10. @Orb It is the Tao. The translations of the Tao vary wildly. The best thing you can do as a sales person is stay in the middle. Inner calm in chaotic circumstances is exactly what's called for by those circumstances, the desire for it is why they are being attracted you could say.
  11. @Orb ❤️ If you notice a pattern that everything is great and amazing and then it flips to the polar opposite, maybe try to stop judging everything for a little while. Everything does not need to be objectively great at all, and when it seems like everything has gone to hell, it never has. Allowing the boredom of this might be freeing. Like the kid that can wait for the marshmallow, the willingness to be bored is that pivot point that turns the whole thing around. Explore and sit with that "point", rather than needing it to flip to great when it's not. Sit in the middle, learn to love it.
  12. @JaneThinking in a really simple, physical way though, you can't see your face and still have it attached to your head, except as a reflection which isn't really your face but some other surface. "You can't see my face and live. - God 😂 In the same way we can't think ourselves, we can't judge ourselves, we can't know what we are, without sort of killing ourselves or separating ourselves into two.
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