fopylo

I just did two 30 minute sessions right after each other. You could say I kinda 'forgot' how to meditate but I caught up to it fairly quickly - just sitting and being. But I think I've came with a new insight: Sitting and simply being = being yourself I arising (the feeling of being myself) = love arising I-ness = love There were times thought felt discordant and I didn't manage to get back into the flow of being; perhaps I have beliefs about how the flow of being should be... @Phil What is conditioning?

Ok so eventually I pulled an all nighter and took my dog for a walk at around 7:15, then had a shower and went to bed. I was hoping on sleeping very little and being tired for the remaining day so that next night I'll be more willing to go to sleep earlier. However, I woke up at like 17:00. Fucking hell man! It didn't help, just got worse now! What am I supposed to do tomorrow?! I've also checked my WhatsApp when I woke up and apparently a family member passed away (I'm not even close to her and she's quite distant) and her funeral is tomorrow morning. How am I supposed to be there tomorrow morning? Damn...

It has been some time ever since I wrote something, and I feel I must put it here already. Not too much happened, but I might start to forget... So about the birthday topic I was talking previously (I believe I made a post on it/ wrote on my journey here), I eventually gathered a birthday party at my house inviting friends from different paths of my life which was really cool: Friends from home/school, friends from camp, and friends from the military bootcamp. It was a very cool gathering imo and also they seemed to be mingling well. It's as though different parts of me just came together in this house, since each friend reflects a different side in me. I was actually very anxious before the meeting and acted very neurotic and cleaning my room, hiding stuff and making sure everyone was good. So yeah, that was quite a win. The next night I felt very terrible and vomited in the morning (a day and a bit after the party). I felt terrible. The worst sleep of my life. I thought it'll pass but it was terrible and didn't go away (this stomach ache). Perhaps I should go to the doctor. I've started studying already for my upcoming course. Quite a lot to study. About a week ago I did a backflip on my cousins' trampoline. I didn't think I'll be able to, but it just gets me closer to believe that I could one day do amazing things physically. I've fasted for a full day (more like 25 hours) for Yom Kippur. It's a Jewish day for the renewal of the new year and to cleanse yourself from all your sins. I don't really believe in that (in religion) but I still took it as a challenge. It ended up being very difficult also because I was still feeling sick. In case you don't know, the fasting includes no food and no water for 25 hours. Sometimes also more limited screen time. I wanted to also ask what do you guys think about fasting and all that. Tried meditating today after a few days of not. It was quite hard. At least harder than what it was. It's as if I forgot how to meditate suddenly, or rather, created beliefs about meditation in that time being of not doing the practice. My sleep schedule is fucked up bad, again. It is 4:15 and I'm even not that tired. I'm supposed to take the dog at like 8:00-9:30. It's either I go to bed now and force myself to sleep for like 4-5 hours and then take the dog and then go back to sleep, or to pull an all nighter (hoping to stay awake at like 7:00, and take him for a walk and then go to bed). Kinda fucked up. Perhaps there's value in coming back here and writing. Perhaps there's more work to be done. Perhaps I took some steps back.

What you said is relatable. I've also had this insight come to me a while ago, and you just refreshed it for me (about the interaction with women). It is hard to interact and find love for a women when you cut your mom off. It's not that I cut her off but I'm living now only with my brother and father and tbh I haven't really missed her ever since my parents split. It's the closure I experience when my mom wants (forces) to interact with me. Similar could be said to fucked up dads. You could grow up to be scared and very cautious when your father criticizes and judges a lot. The closure to live authentically in my own skin. He is also kinda fucked up in his own neurotic ways. I wouldn't say my brother is fucked up but like we don't really talk. No interaction unless it's for logistical stuff. Only sometimes we talk ngl but we barely talk. But anyway your post inspired me to write this. It got me thinking... Remember this Maslow's Pyramid shit? So like, you have also family and relationships there... could that mean that Maslow meant by that that in order to fully realize yourself you'll have to go through that pillar? Because it might actually make sense - To resolve each pillar.

@Orb As well as fucked up dads

@Orb powerful

love is the point of the game. Once you're in love you've defeated the system and won the game of life

@Orb love is the point of the game. Once you're in love you've defeated the system and won the game of life

So I've been studying in an intensive pace for preparation for the course... There is quite a lot to cover in only a month and a half. Fuck. I'll need to push myself. I don't want to suffer. I don't want to lose myself in it. After all it is supposed to help me get into a better place... 4:00 am now... sleep is fucked. Deciding to quite my job. This is the space, of being alone here, in this break period. The future is yet to unfold. Another chapter about to be told. It can't hurt enough. All those beginnings... overwhelming changes. I know how it's like. God please don't make me forget who I am, the inspirations I idealize, lost within the fog of science and work. Please don't pull me into a person that isn't aligned with my ideals. It might be great in many aspects, but now.. now, I have my ideals. Don't forget

How are the dots being connected?

@Mandy Well in that case I don't see why there is something more unique about the sitting if both sitting and exercising don't require effort...

@James123 Man can you not be riddling me like that please?😅 My question is why sitting and being is suggested more than working out

@Mandy Do physical activities require effort?

@Blessed2 @Phil I actually think it's good that they are separated. The way I see it is that "The Path" is really talking about your journey, the journey of understanding and living the great life. Lots of relatable questions there, sometimes day to day questions. "Nonduality" is good for discussing more (spiritual) experiences you've had, and questions about 'deep' spirituality in a kinda philosophic manner. I don't think there's much to explain why separate "Career" from family and relationships.. I believe it's ideal to have a family and friendship topic, as those are the people we engage with most of our lives. The Dating and relationships are a bit different than family and friendships because we're talking about different sets of issues that arise - many people struggle with this romantic aspect, and it's a more "going for it" style. Although I wouldn't really mind the both to be condensed. But yeah, honestly I haven't really understood what was the idea behind creating the Conscious Creating section... I mean, you've got The Path, Celebrating and Sharing...

@Orb Congrats man! It is an awesome feeling when the good feeling starts hitting after all the suffering, right? Glad to here! It was a very long struggle for me too so I can somewhat relate! (During the quarantines)

Of course. This is the main reason/purpose of the meditation. So now that we both are on the same page, what is unique about sitting? If the main reason/purpose is to be, then it can also be exercising, singing, writing, eating.... Why is meditation (sitting and being) highly suggested as the best practice?

Is meditation simply just sitting and being?

You mean for the entire day just to sit in a dark room not doing anything?

They all try to point to the fact that it is all now, not attached to thought, by using thought

@Phil Seems like I get you

@Phil Oh now I understand what you're saying. This is because you have gotten used to living in this present and know that everything is here and now, so you're basically pointing to it - the realm that contains all thought and beliefs. All those beliefs I've stated happen in thought but it is all here and now created. You're basically saying "how would it feel right now not to have those beliefs?"

@Devin agree

@DMT Elf I am not aware of it. Could you link here?

He has Instagram? Since when? What is it?

@DMT Elf Oh you mean the one of Leo demoting Nahm (Phil)?