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"Me" 😁

"Mediocrity is gone. Mind is clear of limitation. I seek no state of enlightenment. Neither do I remain where no enlightenment exists. Since I linger in neither condition, eyes cannot see me. If hundreds of birds strew my path with flowers, such praise would be meaningless."

A Comment on the 8th Ox Herding Picture

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12 minutes ago, Nadosa said:

There is no letting go. Letting go is always present.

"I was freed from the need to be freed!"

-U.G. Krishnamurti

"Mediocrity is gone. Mind is clear of limitation. I seek no state of enlightenment. Neither do I remain where no enlightenment exists. Since I linger in neither condition, eyes cannot see me. If hundreds of birds strew my path with flowers, such praise would be meaningless."

A Comment on the 8th Ox Herding Picture

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I would like to let go of my idea of myself relative to lot of people, together with my idea of other people in general. I have been in a club environment for 10 years, identifying myself with and struggeling to be a "cool" person (having status, hanging with the "right" people). I realized i have all sorts of ideas about what people in the environment think about me. I went through a breakup with an amazing woman a few years ago who is in the same environment, who quickly became an integrated part of the "cool" people. I felt a little pushed out, resenting alot of people while at the same time wanting to be a part of it. 

Cutting out/letting go of all thoughts regarding those people and my role in it all is a difficult task, since it happens very automatic at times. Also i feel like i dont know myself without that part.

Is paying closely attention to where your thoughts are going and letting it go the best way to make a change? Or does anyone see some beliefs i should consider challenging?

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Sometimes I force myself to learn stuff so I can show others so they will apreciate me so I can feel better about myself, so I can apreciate myself.

I even use to write in such a way (to make sure that even before people reed it), I wanted to let then know how sorry I was for bothering them in the first place! Life was like a chess game in my mind... "I need to make sure that this move triggers that move so I can make my next move"... for what?... until recently a friend 😌 pointed out how I can not know if I bother him. Or what is he's idea of bothering...

and so it clicked (again) the hole clip is.....❤ but, it made more sense from min 0:51



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On 3/13/2022 at 6:32 PM, Phil said:

What are you wanting to let go of?

Some things, thoughts / beliefs come to mind:

- That I can't 'do it' myself, that I need a healing / transfering touch of a guru, a spiritual being, a crystal to be in / feel alignment, true wellbeing and happiness.

- That I need to focus on thoughts / narratives / beliefs even though they feel bad. Most prominently, this idea / narrative of "I don't know what is truth, and I need to figure it out or else something will go terribly wrong."

- That I need to prove that I'm a good, ethical, intelligent person only to be accepted by others.

- That a lot of work needs no be done for alignment, true wellbeing, growth and living good satisfying life.


There must be an effortless way.

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The ego, my attachment to the body, my desire for pleasure, societal impact, speculation, all beliefs, existential dread, fear of death.

All externally enforced behaviours, such primarily as taste be it in comedy, music, architecture, movie, game etc.

My desire for violence (both general kinds), though i guess some things are better left accepted though restricted than demonized.

Edit: the question you asked can be understood two ways, and I fear I answered the way it weren't meant to mean as "the things I want to be done with, but aren't yet".

Edited by Isomorphic
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2 hours ago, Serenity said:

Do I need to accept to feel this sense of inadequacy (as an emotion) until it fades away?

Often we create ideas and concepts about who we are in our innocent adolescence, derived from experiences of & with others. As we get older and realize more desires for our life experience, we often find the discord of some of these ideas and concepts are resistant, unaligned with our desires & true nature, and seem to in some way be holding us back from the manifestations we desire to create & experience. 

Several approaches come to mind, and all can be employed. It’s not necessarily about ‘finding the right one’, but more feeling which one clicks, results in clarity, release, and relief. Essentially, what resonates. 

2 hours ago, Serenity said:

I have a deeply rooted fear of inadequacy, that I just managed to give a name to.

Some untangling / clarifying, in accordance with direct experience…

When discord is felt, there is almost always a ‘claim’ which is believed, which seems true and rooted in experience, but which isn’t actually true about you, and is accordingly felt as a discordant, uncomfortably unsettling, misinterpretation. Again, this is most innocent. It is a natural & intrinsic experience, as infinite can not know finite / infinite forgets it’s own infinitude & true nature - by being experience. You might say, by being ‘a person’.  In abiding by, ‘listening to’ emotion, the feeling of discord & alignment - infinite inevitably ‘remembers’ it’s true nature & infinitude, by dispelling / seeing through the discordant beliefs, about itself. 


Notice, one could say “I have a baseball”, and to the extent the baseball could be shown to someone else, there is some truth to the claim “I have a baseball”.  Yet, notice the ‘claim’, “I have a deeply rooted fear” is not like the baseball. This is not actually something you ‘have’, but is a reoccurring emotional experience of discord. 

Then it can be recognized that fear is not a ‘thing’ you have, but is a feeling-experience, an emotion. 

Then it can be considered, and recognized, that the feeling - emotion - is guidance in regard to - the thought.. “I have a deeply rooted fear”. 

Then, it can be noticed, emotions, such as fear - are felt now, and now only. There is no actual experience of ‘feeling in a past’, or ‘feeling in a future’. Feeling is only ever, now. Admittedly, all of experience makes it seem as if there is a past… but upon checking direct experience, actually attempting to ‘go to’ a past, of course it is recognized there are thoughts about there being a past, but no actuality to it. 

Likewise, notice there are thoughts about a self which is inadequate… but there is never an actual experience of that “self”… only of the thoughts about “that self”. 

Whenever the belief arises -now-, the guidance about the belief is felt, -now-. So the key is loosening up about believing the thought, and open-mindedly considering the thought or belief isn’t true… and ‘listening’ more to how the thought feels. How it feels - is how you know it’s not true. If it were true about you, it would feel aligned with you. Another way to put this, is choosing to care more about how you feel - than anything you believe about yourself. 


More so, in terms of inspecting / untangling the belief, just like fear is not a thing one has - the clarity would be that inadequacy is not a sense. Inadequacy is a concept, a belief, about yourself. When believed repeatedly, ‘in the now’, momentum of discord builds, and so it is believed to be ‘deep’, and often there is a shame aspect added, as if it were true, and one has been keeping it secret, not wanting anyone to know or find out this “truth” about you. But the guidance of emotion let’s you know, by the discordant feeling, that this concept is not in alignment with the true nature - that it simply is not true about you, but is a concept. Expression & inspecting, as you already are here, is really the biggest step. No longer ‘keeping it secret’, but letting it out, into the light of awareness, to unfettered of the belief / concept. 

Put another way, you might consider the emotion, fear, as feeling-guidance in regard to not just a belief - but feeling-guidance in regard to a way of thinking about yourself. Consider, if anyone thought that way about themself, anyone would feel the exact same guidance of emotion. 

Also, in using the emotional scale, notice inadequacy is an ‘inward’ oriented belief, about yourself, resulting in the feeling of fear. While the expression of jealousy, of what you’d like to have, be, do, create & experience, is an ‘outward’ oriented expression. Make note of, feel, that shift from inward believing, to outward wanting. 


So, no, a “sense of inadequacy” can not  be accepted, because inadequacy is not a sense, and is not an emotion… it’s a discordant self referential concept. An idea about you. To accept it, would be to continue to believe it’s true, while it clearly feels not-true about you because… it is not true about you. Also notice, inadequacy can never be in a future. “Future” is another belief, and this can be directly recognized by actually attempting to ‘go to’ “the future” right now. 

Sometimes a belief is recognized in this way as, as a belief, and it is a simple matter. Sometimes it is not that simple, and methods like talk therapy and or expressive writing help bring more & more clarity to when & why that self referential belief was created. Could be a relationship, such as internalizing behaviors experienced in regard to a parent. Maybe a parent employed much comparative thinking and was overly critical on your behalf. Could be how a specific event or events were interpreted.

Also, there is often a tendency to “solve” the “problem”, while clarity & understanding always arise after ‘letting it go’, or… by recognizing the discord… choosing how you feel - and putting how you feel, first. As the discordant belief is not fed attention, it ‘fades away’. Inherently, what was appearing as the activity of thought, the very belief… - peace, love, clarity, intelligence - youis naturally more pronounced, much more felt. 🤍

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17 hours ago, Serenity said:

Right. I see this is not rooted in my empirical experience, nor in my being/consciousness but it is occurring at the mind level. Feeling wise, it feels discordant and the consciousness knows it isn't true. The consciousness witnesses it, but the mind and its emotions colors it.

Is there in direct experience a ‘mind level’, or, thoughts? Is ‘mind level’ in perception or feeling, or a thought? 

Is there an experience of ‘consciousness witnesses it’, as in, a consciousness which is other than you?

Is there an experience of ‘a mind’ and ‘it’s emotions’ ‘coloring it’… or is there the direct experience of thought, perception, and sensations?

17 hours ago, Serenity said:

The underlying emotions are shame, fear, and powerlessness. It is quite debilitating and paralyzing to always trace back to the fact that these emotions and thoughts are not true, yet there.

Listen to what the emotions are ‘telling you’ so to speak, in regard to the thoughts focused upon. If a thought doesn’t resonate, doesn’t feel good… let it go, and another, more resonating thought will arise. 

17 hours ago, Serenity said:

I am not identified with them, but they still pop up and make the present moment uncomfortable. I think I am getting afraid they will never get away and turn into even more powerlessness or something.

Inspect. How does that thought feel? 

Notice the difference between conceptualizing yourself, ‘I am getting afraid’… vs ‘I am feeling the emotion, fear, and it is guidance in regard to that thought’.  Likewise, ‘turn into even more powerlessness’… vs… ‘when I focus on that thought, I feel the emotion, powerlessness’. Consider, the experience of the emotion of powerlessness, is created by focusing on, a discordant thought, about yourself. When it’s seen how the feeling, emotion, is created, it is seen one can create a different feeling, emotional experience, by focusing on a more resonating, aligned thought. 

17 hours ago, Serenity said:

What I can see is that both the awareness and the ego are cohabitating, and the ego is split between different parts.  And the awareness witnesses the different parts of the ego bickering, and playing different thoughts/emotions

Is there in perception, an awareness and or ego? Or is there in direct experience the thoughts that there is? 

17 hours ago, Serenity said:

Which for the latter causes anxiety that "I'll never get rid of this problem".

What is ‘anxiety’? One view, is that it’s a concept. A conceptualization of the emotional guidance felt. What if the guidance is “saying”, there isn’t a problem? 

17 hours ago, Serenity said:

also know the ego is a fiction, but the software still plays in my mind, even if it is more transparent than for most humans.

Similarly, is there a ‘software’ in perception or feeling, or is there the thought that ‘something else’ (a software) is doing this? So to speak, focusing on a discordant thought or not is actual, while that there is ‘some other thing’ (a software) involved, is the thought that there is. It can be clarifying to physically point to that which is claimed to be, and or be involved, or the cause of how you feel. Allow thoughts to be as they are, which is to say, thoughts come & go, appear & disappear. A ‘solution’ is never needed in regard to thoughts, because one can focus on feeling breathing in the stomach, and in doing so, attention is removed from the activity of thought, and thus, the discordant thought is ‘let go’. One can do this all day every day, and momentum builds. One feels better, and better, and better, and there is more, and more, and more clarity. 

17 hours ago, Serenity said:

The belief is the hardest part. While I seem to have a good ability to recognize a thought as false, believes are much more sticky and difficult to handle. How do one loose up about believing theses ones?

By noticing a belief is a thought, and the experience of, is only ever, now.  Aka ‘direct experience is king’, and or, ‘the truth shall set you free’. 

‘Belief is the hardest part’, is a belief. See if, in the literal sense, you can find exactly the ‘effort’ is, in focusing on a better feeling thought. 

17 hours ago, Serenity said:

I can try to tell the belief "you are not true", which the awareness knows but the mind doesn't necessary manage to change. And negative believes are unfortunately much stickier than the positive ones. 😬


Is there a direct experience of ‘an awareness’ which ‘knows’?  If it seems there is, question, what is aware of that?

Are there negative beliefs and positive beliefs? Who determines this? Perhaps there is ‘like how this thought feels’, and, ‘don’t like how this thought feels’.  Can simplicity be allowed to be seen? 

Maybe positive & negative are opinion, belief, judgement of, thoughts and feeling / emotions.

Is there a belief ‘to tell’ something to?  Is there a mind which ‘manages to change or not’… or is there the direct experience of right now, focusing on or not, a thought?

18 hours ago, Serenity said:

I also know these emotions are not true about myself because they do not feel right

Emotion(s) is yourself. 

Infinite unconditional love… vibrationally appearing as reality (or if you like, experience, creation)… feeling the guidance of itself in creating. Creator-creating-creation. 

18 hours ago, Serenity said:

Yes, you are right. The inadequacy is a concept, repeatedly believed "in the now" and a moment of discord builds.

I would say that what I identify as inadequacy is a concept made out of several low bottom of the scale emotions of my own blend.

Emotions are felt. Inadequacy is only the thought, inadequacy. The thought “I am inadequate” is only the thought “I am inadequate”. Emotional guidance is how that thought feels. 

18 hours ago, Serenity said:

I know they aren't true, but get still casted in the experience by the mind, and make the present moment uncomfortable and limited when these emotions become dominant and arise.

By focusing upon, not ‘by the mind’. Blame is an emotion. 

Yes - emotions will always be ‘there’ guiding. Listen to them, vs judging them, or conceptualizing them. 


18 hours ago, Serenity said:

When it comes to expression and inspecting, I don't know what I can do more about that.

Inspect: Is there (in perception and or feeling) this ‘thing’ which I believe there is? 

18 hours ago, Serenity said:

  My feeling of shame is often looked at, through writings and bodycan.

Shame is a concept. Not a feeling or emotion. The emotion is guidance in regard to how the thought / belief - “shame” - feels. 

18 hours ago, Serenity said:

My feeling of fear is a tricky one because all boils down at the end of the day to my fear of death which is though to address. And my feeling of powerlessness gets reinforced because I feel like I don't get out of the negative self-image casted by the ego.

Is there, in perception and or feeling, “an ego” which can be said in truth to be casting / causing… anything?

Is there a ‘negative self image’… or is that judgement? 

Is fear really “my feeling of fear”? Or is fear an emotion, which is guidance, in regard to the thought, which is ‘claiming’ - my.  If anyone focused on the same thoughts, anyone would feel the exact same guidance. The guidance doesn’t belong to any one, any more than the wifi belongs to any one phone. 

18 hours ago, Serenity said:

You've got there a good point when it comes to the fact that anyone in my situation would get the same result if they'd think that way about themselves.

And yes, these are 100% inward oriented believes. I am aware that I feel jealous of those who aren't caught in that experience and have manifested for themselves what I want for myself.

Those who you are jealous of, already discovered the power of letting go, of no longer focusing on, thoughts which don’t resonate. They put feeling first. 

18 hours ago, Serenity said:

But I feel like as long as I'll be blocked internally, I'll not manage to get the outward results that I want.

Is ‘blocked internally’ in perception and or feeling, or is it a concept, a thought, belief? 

What about allowing, receiving… vs ‘getting’? 

What if today, you simply allow everything and everyone, including thoughts, just to be what is, without judgement?

18 hours ago, Serenity said:

Fair enough. The concept is not true and should not be accepted. But what about the underlying emotions triggered by the concept? Should I accept that there is fear in my experience? That there is shame? That there is a sense of powerlessness?

Accepting or not doesn’t really play any role. If you’d accidently put your hand down on a hot stove, would you think about wether you should accept it or not, or would you simply remove you hand from the hot stove? Same thing here with focus and thoughts. 

If there is the emotional guidance of fear in experience… listen to the guidance… in regard to the thought, belief, or interpretation… and ‘reach for’ a better feeling thought or interpretation. Be willing to let go of what doesn’t feel good… because it doesn’t feel good. 

18 hours ago, Serenity said:

The problem to me seems more to lay between the relationship between the beliefs and the triggered emotions that kinda compound into a negative loop.

The problem definitely stem from a mix of both my family karma + my personal experience that resulted into this type of current conditioning. 

Let go of believing there is a problem. Recognize that as judgement, and allow a more resonating thought to arise. 

The ‘loop’ is self referential thinking. It seems like you’re “in the thoughts”, while it’s simultaneously obvious you are awareness, aware of, thoughts. 

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My past (pain). Gratitude, compassionate, thankfulness, oneness love, forgiveness, contentment, self-love meditation.

To not seeing others more fully. Even though some say I'm a people pleaser, there is sight there that both sees others better and releases myself from those tendencies.

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