WhiteOwl

Eat a cookie or have sex if you don't feel great? I think that recipe has been tried before.. I get the put attention somewhere else though.

"I don't want to do the work for my exam" Why not? "It feels uncomfortable and its boring." Why does it feel uncomfortable? "There is resistance. I don't know how to tackle it. It seems like a lot of work. I am not that good at it." Whats the "it"? "The papers are tirering and tough to read. School, making assignments. I've never practiced it much. I would like good grades though. That will make me very happy"

Thoughts if i'm good enough at touching her and being around her or if i i am being awkvard makes me feel insecurity and doubt. "Am i talking enough. I am air heady. She is faster in thought. I am not fast enough in thought. My spiritual talks makes no sense. I am not good at explaining it. I am empty headed". feeling insecurity, unworthiness. That looks like too much maybe. Im okay. We had an okay time. All this division

I think i push away parts of myself that seem awkvard or chill, relaxed since it resembles my dad a lot. My mother was always after him for that when they were together. Always putting him down and saying how awkvard he is at things he do.

I remembered a childhood memory from 7th grade i think. I was experimenting with a girl from class with some sexual stuff. I didn't want her to touch my lower part as i was afraid since i didn't grow a lot of hair yet. After the first time it took a while before we tried again. We did and it was the same, i didn't want her to touch me again. I think that disappointed her a lot, that i didn't want more than i did. That made me feel small and wierd.

Journaling and reading what you write afterwards. Seeing it all a bit from the "outside".

Past and future are judgements upon thought, funny... Not completely sure what you mean saying that there are no thoughts (in one of your videos). Of course there is nothing actually. Its all labels. Emotions etc

I was not meant to imply a doer, probably in the same way you are not implying an acknowledger here ⬇️ Its not about the words, its about the communication. Makes sense. Appreciate it. Kind of hard to communicate anything though. Kind of hilarious that past and future are all the same, thoughts.

Makes sense. Was more referring to the other scenario though. Its not like i'm preserving energy doing one thing in the music-daw over the other. Maybe i should start seeing that sensation/resistance as something positive

Close enough I will do it anyways. But how do you express on the spot. Talk out loud about your frustration, pull out the phone and write it? I've done that sometimes and it doesn't always feel better. So you are saying i don't really want to be doing it instinctively, or where does the ID show up? There is no fight, but there is resistance. Meditation rhythm worse than ever right now since starting school and dating someone at the same time. Want to get back on track with that Yes, thats what we are looking into here. What you sow ⬆️

I'm not talking about physical strain as i just wrote. The body has its limits, of course.. Thats not the resistance i'm talking about. Defo not true in my experience, which is what the thread is about. But its just beliefs causing the resistance. Was hoping for some clarity on what that might be.

"I am afraid to become dull, boring, lifeless letting go of thoughts and Me"

From one point of view at least. The thing is, is there really a big challenge though? Its completely self-created. I'm sitting moving my mouse around in a music program, and doing what i know i don't feel resistance, but thinking of doing something that might not sound good initially, but might be giving in the end, i feel resistance. But are those movements with the hand any more difficult? Nope, its exactly the same, just how the situation is viewed. Some things like physical strain of course has its limits to what you start out with, but thats not the point here.

"I want a relationship thats chopping down the ego not boosting it"

"Im afraid to play music in front of people. I don't know if being an artist is for me. I don't feel comfortable with the whole social media race. I' not good at selling myself or posting stuff. I think its a bit fake. I am kind of good though. Talented." "She thinks its uncomfortable being around me. Im so tense. They rather be without me. He doesn't want to cut my hair. He can sense my vibration. He don't want to deal with that." "Im getting closer to something."