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Indisguise belongs to the Staff group.


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  1. Maybe there's something in your life that can be described the same way? Events that are beyond your control that can hit you any time? Events that you want to hide from but which you know you must face or you know you just can't avoid?
  2. but it sure does seem that way!😄
  3. First thoughts I wonder if I'm going to pull this through. Pull what exactly through? Not like there's an end goal or something. But I guess the path is indeed the goal, so - what is that path? Guess I'll find out as I'm walking it lol. How else would you find out? Been lurking, kinda. Never really had any strong diesire to journal, but I definitely do have a strong desire to share, and so mabye this is one way of doing iut. Albeit a somewhat clumsy way, as the bandwith between "my thoughts" and "the keyboard" with which I'm typing is somewhat narrow. But let's see how this goes. Don't know if anyone is ever going to read this, I guess I'd be kinda happy about that becaues I want to share, but if not, I suppose that's fine too. There's just tons and tons and tons of stuff that I want to explicate, to myself, mostly. But also to others, sort of as a projection I suppose to let it bounce back off of them to me, show me what I'm thinking. I guess part of this is going to end up in a book. Already have a title. It's going to be a synthesis from everything I know and learned, philosophy, religions, psychology, natural science, anthropology, social sciences, literautre, etc. I'm still fairly young and I feel so priviledged and lucky to be in my position, I'm still a fool but I'm also not. What I know, I need to share. Share, not force upon. I sometimes feel very insipred by those who came before me. I'm very well aware that I'm standing on the shoulders of giants and the only reason why I can look so (comparatively) far is because of them, I owe them. And who are "they"? Well of course, they're: culture. We owe culture its betterment. Whenever there's a person who is priviledged by their culture, it is their responsibility, and noble duty to pay the culture back in the form of wisdom, love and understanding. Anything else would be a waste of potential. You are a force for good and it's your responsibility to act on that force, otherwise you are passively contributing to the baseline existential condition that is decay and chaos, speaking of course from the perspective of culture which is defined by a certain set of boundaries and which needs to maintain these boundaries. You are not here to maintain the boundaries of culture. You are not here to tear down the boundaries either. You are here to be the transforming force that tears down and then rebuilds, in a better way. Balance the forces of good and evil in your own heart, act upon the best of your abilities and accordsing to your conscience and don't beat yourself up when you fail, which you will, but don't blind yourself from failing when you do either. You aren not here to be the recluse Buddha, the Pratyekabuddha who upon his enlightenment vanishes into Nirvana, never to be seen or heard of again. You are here to be the Bodhisattva, the Christ. who upon his enlightenment returns from the mountain top into the village and shares the gospel, the good news. Unite the forces of nature and culture in yourself. Unite the absolute and the relative, play the game and get involved in everyday life in full consciousness of the divine, the shared knowing heart of every man, woman, child, animal and plant, the Lila, the play of God. However, you'll also forget. Like, everything. But: that's fine. You'll forget, because you are love. And to love yourself so deeply is to let yourself forget completely. It's perfect, there's no flaw in this whatsoever. And you know/are it, hence you are where you are. Go on my child, and play. Forget yourself and when you've played enough, come back home. There you'll be greeted by the love that sent you out the house, the door of which was always open kept for you to love yourself anew. (I just made this up on the spot, hope you can appreciate it 😁❤😂) We could use so much more wisdom in our culture. So much more awareness. So much more love. Who's gonna do it? Who, if not you?
  4. Didn't say that it is. But you're afraid of something that was there all your life and that will be there all your life. And how exactly is "unconsciousness" the root of all problems? Seems kinda overkill to me to attribute any suffering to unconsciousness. As if there's something inherently wrong with you, i.e. you "being unconscious" that caused your suffering.
  5. Is it just me or does it kinda feel passive agressive when people talk about some spiritual topic / nondualism or whatever, and then someone comes along and goes "there is no XXX" (Leonism or whatever)". Like... yeah, true. So what?😂 seems like an attempt to dismiss the whole argument by "using nondualism". I'd say you could very well make out a type of philosophy that is observable on Actualized. Why not call that Leonism? Damn, it really does make a huge difference to be here after a long break. For the better though, definitely.
  6. Woweee. Great report, love the way you turned the trip around from calling your mom in anxiety to scurrying around in a wizard robe, haha😂😂 Maybe one more thing; wouldn't take mushrooms that often, maybe. People can come apart when taking medium/high doses too frequently.
  7. I highly reccomend you don't just skip this post, but listen to the podcasts with Yeonmi Park and to her talks. She is a North Korean defector and humans rights activist. And she is one of, if not the bravest and most inspiring women I have ever listened to, She manages without difficulty to shock me, to make me stare in utter disbelief, to bring tears to my eyes and to be hopeful despite the horrors of her stories, and this is why I thought I'd share this with you. I hope you are able to appreciate her wisdom. Her life experience and her perspective shook me up, comparing my life and what I take for granted, what I consider to be "problems". Maybe you take your life and your freedoms for granted too and need a reality check. She has a YouTube channel
  8. Intuition is always there, but often overridden by thought. It's a holistic way of understanding (a situation) and knowing how to act, without the "normal" way of discursive, linear, reductionistic, pointalistic thought getting in the way. In vernacular terms, it's your gut feeling, It's something you can't explain because it is beyond the rational explanatory frame that we usually use to asses situations: We think about a situation, about the many many factors that we believe need to be considered to make the decision of how to act, and then, based on this (alledgedly) rational evaluation of the situation, we act - at least that's the way we (think we) act when we really have lots of time to unpack a situation, but most of the time we absolutely do not think and act this way. But even in rational thought, intuition comes into play, as we cannot possibly decide rationally 1.) how many factors need to be considerd 2.) which factors need to be considered before we say "okay, now I've got an understanding comprehensive enough to be confident to act." It's our intuition that tells us at the end of any rational evaluation "enough thought, now act!", and so there must come a point at which we trust. Intuition is the thing that tells you when you have considerd a situation long enough. It is the leap of faith that we all take when we act without knowing, since no situation can be known fully. It's direct guidance.
  9. In terms of: time managment, managing psychological stress levels, separating work from play (in the sense of "not thinking about all the stuff you still have left to do while going out with friends"), staying healthy despite stress & little time, etc. Very standard kind of question, I could've probably just googled it. But I didn't, because there's more wisdom gathered here than on google 😝 thanks in advance!
  10. How do you prepare for a mushroom trip? I'm planning on doing one in the near future, I got a whooole bag of lovely shit to work out and would like to do it right. Just dipping my toes into the water, I'd like to stay mentally coherent during the trip so it won't be a high dose, but still. Does it depend on what your intention is that you adapt the way you prepare? Having a trip for fun and going out in the woods VS working on your emotional wounds requires diferent things, no? As always, all advice is appreciated 🙂
  11. Maybe just ask her to leave you alone in the morning or in the evening? Tell her you need some time for yourself, communicate. No "subtle queues", just tell her to give you some private time. Doesn't seem healthy to constantly want to talk with your children anyway. Put your phone in airplane mode if you don't want to get called. Or better still, just leave the house and go somewhere in nature, meditate there. No people, no phones, nothing.
  12. Maybe this is just the biologist in me speaking, but I'd love to see the neurological correlate to that. And why psychedelics, being serotonergic substances, have such an incredible effect on it. They reliably dissolve beliefs about oneself and life, but how?
  13. Read that paper when Nature reported on it, couldn't believe it. I still can't believe it even though the science behind it looks valid, I'm just waiting for the next paper or some kind of push back to this. Because serotonergic antidepressants or serotonergic agents in general (like the tryptophan psychedelics) have a positive effect on depression and it's just not so easy to argue against that. But it really looks like depression is MUCH more complicated than we thought it was. It's not just a chemical imbalance. People suffer from depression because their lives are just so godawful complicated, or they are utterly out of touch with their emotions, or they repress all kinds of other things, or all of it at once, etc. There's just so much.
  14. At what ungodly hour do you have to get up in order to have 2 hours left over in the morning?😂
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