It's been a while since I received a hug

[Phil]

 

[Reena]

@Phil I appreciate your divine humor. Now go get ya backbone you asshole. 

[Phil]

1 minute ago, Reena said:

@Phil I appreciate your divine humor. Now go get ya backbone you asshole. 

Mediocre at best. Doesn’t qualify as a start either though. 

[Reena]

Everything is water. 

 

Seek Water and you are enlightened 

 

Everything is enlightenment. 

[Reena]

Everything is enlightenment 

[Reena]

My story is similar. 

 

The way I cope with it - everything is enlightenment. 

 

Your abuser is enlightenment. 

My abuser is enlightenment. 

 

As it difficult and as ridiculous as it sounds, it's healing to me. There is intense anger against my abuser that causes me to have rape dreams.

 

But at the end of the day, I tell myself even abuse is a part of existence. They are only human. They did what they did. 

 

A part of me wants to kill them. A part of me wants to surrender to that abuse so I don't have to hold violent thoughts or resist anymore. 

 

But if I think everything is enlightenment. 

 

Whenever there is discord and tension, don't focus on the cause of the discord. Cause exists. Causation exists. 

 

Can I obliterate rape from this world? Can I obliterate every evil  dictator from this planet? No. 

 

But then these things will continue till eternity. 

 

As long as there is a victim, there will always be a predator 

 

Somebody will see a poor woman, somebody will see a child, they will rape the woman, they will abduct the child. We can't stop that entirely. If the child doesn't exist, there is no abduction. 

 

Which means humanity has to stop existing for evil to completely disappear. 

 

The only possible solution is to stop the impact of evil as much as possible. 

 

One way is to look at everything as enlightenment. Even evil is enlightenment. Rape is enlightenment. Abuse is enlightenment. 

 

If you see everything as water, all discord is gone. Yes in the moment it hurts badly. But at some point, it stops hurting existentially. 

 

This does not mean that the problem or suffering does not exist or is invalidated. It simply means that we focus on neutrality. What can be a better example than water? Water is neither sweet nor bitter or salty or sour. Water is water. It is tasteless formless. It is neither good or bad. It is neither evil or good. 

 

When you focus on water, slowly everything becomes peaceful. The suffering won't go away. But the discord feels less hurtful. The discord arising from suffering. 

 

 

Like Bruce Lee said, be like water. 

 

 

I say. Seek Water. Water is true enlightenment. Sip water. It solves all problems. Not in the body. But in the spirit. 

 

Set the spirit free from the samsara of life. 

 

Seek water. Water is enlightenment. Everything is enlightenment. Seek enlightenment. 

 

 

 

 

[Phil]

Spiritual bypassing isn’t coping. 

[Reena]

I'm an EMW - ETHNIC MINORITY WOMAN. 

 

I'm sorry I'm such a problem. 

 

[Reena]

I get mad at everyone and everything. 

 

[Reena]

Haha. Anyway. 

[Reena]

My food frustration is going out of control. 

 

I feel like I want to eat a shit ton of food. 

 

 

It's driving me nuts. 

I wish I had tons and tons of food 

 

 

[Reena]

I really want to eat a lot this Christmas. 

 

[Reena]

I want to eat like crazy. I want to eat like crazy. 

[Reena]

 (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

 

I just realize that I need more guidance to work through my issues. 

[Reena]

This winter is going to be hard for me. Little money little food, surviving on one meal a day. 

 

♤^^

(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

Anyway hopefully my situation will stabilize in a few months. 

 

Edited December 23, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

I mean emotional safety is something to look out for. 

I just need to keep myself strong. 

 

I'm feeling better that my personal expression is kinda clearing up. 

 

This expression is a huge key to my healing. 

My latest insight of "everything is enlightenment" is really hugely helping me with my mental problems. 

 

I'm already acting like Joe Biden. Can't imagine I'm in my 20s and having deep memory issues because of all the stress and trauma. Too bad. 

 

 

Stuff that can help me with my mental illness. 

☞ peace and quiet 

☞ harmony 

☞ stress free environment 

 ☞ grounding and stability 

☞ feeling of emotional safety 

☞ authentic emotional expression 

☞ feeling loved 

☞ less engagement 

☞ everything is enlightenment 

☞ life is not fun 

☞ personal expression 

☞ exercise, meditation 

☞rewarding myself sometimes 

☞ not having very high expectations 

☞ emotional guidance 

☞ journaling 

☞ not bottling up feelings 

☞ venting 

☞ keeping a track of my story 

☞ spiritual bypassing and coping 

☞ whatever works works 

☞ 

☞

☞

 

 

 

Edited December 23, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

I don't want the following - 

 

flim-flam  bunkum  spiritual obscurantism  mumbo jumbo woo woo obfuscation

 

Edited December 23, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

 

Stuff that can help me with my mental illness. 

☞  keeping myself calm especially when I'm feeling very triggered, emotional or overwhelmed or vulnerable. 

☞ keeping away from toxicity 

☞ calming down as much as possible 

☞  the ability to be selfish and say no whenever possible and work on boundaries 

☞ hard work. Emotional labor 

☞ shedding excessive baggage 

☞ having some sort of momentum and continuity 

☞ reducing stress through meditation 

☞  

☞ 

☞

☞

 

Edited December 23, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

Emotional awareness 

Self awareness 

Objective thinking 

Emotional guidance

Emotional mastery 

Powerful insights

Saving time

Self control 

Giving yourself space 

 

 

Edited December 23, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

I don't give up hope.