It's been a while since I received a hug

[Reena]

@Phil thank you. It means a lot. 

[Reena]

I need to be a big girl now. Enough beating around the bush. 

 

[Reena]

So yesterday was my father's death anniversary and I was trying to just relax and not get overly emotional. I played some games to take the edge off.

Right now feeling like I have a fuck ton of work to do. Next year I have to be serious about looking for a job. I have to earn my keep.

Put my life in order.

I have another psychiatric appointment this week. I don't know. My family is arranging a lot of psychiatric appointments to help me out with my depression.

 

[Reena]

I finished 2-3 psychiatric appointments this past 4 weeks. 

 

[Reena]

My family found a new psychiatrist who is better at understanding my problems.

 

 

[Reena]

I'm glad that they are finally diagnosing me. I lost tremendous amount of weight because of the depression. Borderline is type of major depression. I had been begging my family to consult a psychiatrist because my problems were going out of hand. Feeling suicidal a lot during the days after I was banned from the forum. So my family finally stepped in and decided to do something about my issues. I wasn't healing. At first in the month of May/June I had a psychiatrist who was not taking me seriously at all. She would put on all makeup and sit in front of me and treat me like a child who needs some discipline. She wasn't able to understand that I'm having real problems. I immediately broke off with her. She was very unempathetic.Then my family decided to switch to another psychiatrist who is able to understand the depth of my problem and she is really putting effort into not just casual talk but serious discussion of symptoms. The previous psychiatrist was treating the session like a tea time chit chat, just wanted time in causal fluffy talk. It wasn't helping me at all. Now the psychiatrist is able to understand the severity of my situation. So I'm glad I met a good one.

 

[Reena]

It's very hard you know. A lot of these psychologists get degrees and they don't even care to listen to their patients or clients. They simply try to gloss over things to reduce their effort and just pass time to make easy money off the backs of people who are badly in need of help. So it's great luck to find a psychiatrist who is really dedicated and hard working and not just beating around the bush with vague positive word salad responses.

[Reena]

I had met a psychiatrist early this year in January. She took one look at me and she told my family that I should be subjected to electro shock for my anger issues. Can you imagine that? Electro shock is banned in certain countries and is generally considered inhuman. Later that month I was sent to a mental hospital and I told them that I suffer ptsd and I was trembling with fear. They twisted my arm, dragged me by my hair and barricaded me in a room for hours. I have claustrophobia so I screamed loudly because I needed medication and they wouldn't give it. I felt like I was dying. Then they injected me with tranquilizer, my family wasn't allowed into the room. Finally my family told them to return me back home. It is that insane. The attitude towards mental illness is of punishment rather than empathy. The mentally ill person is treated worse than a criminal and an animal. It's just inhuman. They gave me rotten food to eat. The mental hospital nurses and doctors are psychopaths.

[Phil]

https://community.actualityofbeing.com/forum/29-guests-new-members-suggested-methods/

 

When conditioning (ptsd) comes up & out, these methods make it easy to realize it’s actually emptying and is what you’re wanting. 

Perfectly natural & aligned. 

Much like how barfing isn’t pleasant in the short term and doesn’t taste good, but is wanted in the longer term. 

Mix ignorance in there such as the psychiatrist you mentioned, and who knows how it’ll go based on what they believe. 

What’s being suggested here is emptying of all beliefs. Including mental illness, criminals and animals. 

Trusting only in yourSelf. 

That only The Truth will do. 

♥️

 

If you have any questions at all about any of the suggested methods, please let me know. 

[Orb]

@Reena I resonate with you a lot. A lot of the overwhelming emotions and stuff you experienced reminds me of stuff I've felt and people in my family too. In my experience, it does lessen. It goes down with meditation and more expression. 

 

When emotions get overwhelming HOLD ON. Don't lash out at people or believe the thoughts, it will pass! 🩵

 

Coming from experience btw, sometimes I experience waves of intensity and there's an urge to get dramatic and lash out at people, but I don't do it as much anymore and it's been going down actually significantly. 🙂

[Reena]

@Orb who tells you that I lash out at people? 

I'm done with the victim shaming and I don't have enough time to argue. Be done. 

[Reena]

@Orb stop triggering me with that fucking judgemental language of yours. Take it elsewhere. I'm tired of being labeled a drama queen when all I AM DOING IS EXPRESSING MY FUCKING PAIN IN MY JOURNAL. 

 

I don't need some random stranger to come and fucking tell me that I'm being dramatic. 

 

Get lost. 

 

People like you are the problem. 

 

 

Edited December 19, 2023 by Reena

[Orb]

2 hours ago, Reena said:

@Orb who tells you that I lash out at people?

 

2 hours ago, Reena said:

@Orb stop triggering me with that fucking judgemental language of yours. Take it elsewhere. I'm tired of being labeled a drama queen when all I AM DOING IS EXPRESSING MY FUCKING PAIN IN MY JOURNAL. 

 

I don't need some random stranger to come and fucking tell me that I'm being dramatic. 

 

Get lost. 

 

People like you are the problem. 

 

 

 

[Reena]

@Orb you know what. This is where I want my peace and quiet. In my space. And I don't want to argue and deal with judgemental assholes. 

 

Now stop being such a snarky little smart-ass and go back to your work. 

 

[Orb]

@Reena okay gotcha 🙏

[Reena]

@Phil can you please remove the above comment from the journal. It's very degrading. I don't want this user(Omar osama) to comment in my journal. I'm uncomfortable with it. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Reena]

@Phil I'm finding the user @Omar Osama's comments extremely disrespectful. Please tell the user to stop commenting in my journal. And please remove his comments. I have him on ignore but I can't stop him from commenting. 

 

Edited December 19, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

Wtf??????????? 

[Reena]

@Phil the user Omar osama is invading my journal. Please tell him to stop harassing me. 

[Reena]

@Phil

This is taken from the guidelines.

 

I have told this user to not comment in my journal. He doesn't understand that his comments aren't welcome.