It's been a while since I received a hug

[Reena]

I might suffer terribly next year. And die in a hospital if I did something wrong.. I am on the edge of life. 

Sometimes I just try to escape reality playing video games. And shit. It's like escape escape escape all this 

 

[Reena]

Be yourself. Be yourself. Be yourself Reena. Now more than ever, you need yourself.. Don't lose again. 

 

I wish I was there for me. I wish things were different. 

 

 

Don't lose again. Not again. 

Don't let someone fool you again in the name of love and destroy your sanctity. 

 

Don't let someone scam you again. 

 

[Reena]

My ex contacted me yesterday to tell me that he needs me in his life again. 

 

This time I'm firmly blocking him for good. 

 

I'm finally understanding that I should love myself. 

Patrick Williamson helped me in this regard. 

 

He told me what I deeply deeply lack is self love. Community love. I was like a leaf in the wind. Shallow, weightless, helpless, weak. 

 

But then he grabbed me. He touched my shoulder. He is my dad's age. He sat me down. He looked into my eyes. He gave a stern look. Not angry. A stern look. Then he told me with conviction that I'm just diseased from lack of love. That I'm slowly dying in deep agony. 

I missed my dad. He was everything to me. 

 

 

[Reena]

Patrick Williamson you are an angel man. You are amazing. You woke me up. You brought me back to life. 

 

I was dead and dying. From lack of air, water and love. 

 

You slapped me hard and brought me back to life 

 

You truly are an angel Sir. 

 

You are reliable as a person. 

 

What do people need more than a person like you. You understand people. 

 

You don't inhibit them. And that's a great service Sir. 

 

 

[Reena]

Patrick Williamson I'll forever be indebted to you.. I was woefully blind. I couldn't see Sir. 

Yet you gave me new hope. 

 

You told me that love and wisdom are the key. 

 

You told me nothing really matters if it's not good. 

 

[Reena]

Being myself was not encouraged by my family. I think that's where evil begins. With control 

 

[Reena]

Of course right insight can also come from great guidance. 

 

[Reena]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Reena]

Today I cried an awful lot. All my emotions were flowing through my tears. I couldn't stop. I didn't care. I wanted to be authentic. 

 

Whoever you are, you are loved.. 

 

I found it difficult to love myself. 

 

 

Because for a long time I thought I didn't deserve to be loved. 

 

 

 

 

Edited December 21, 2023 by Reena

[Phil]

 

 

 

 

[Reena]

@Phil that's beautiful. 

[Phil]

@Reena

Indeed you are. ☺️

[Reena]

I already have abusive internal monologue. 

[Reena]

1 hour ago, Phil said:

@Reena

Indeed you are. ☺️

Don't tell me that I'm beautiful. 

 

It encourages people to call me ugly. 

 

Then they come around saying that I'm attention seeking. 

 

It's like every time I express my pain there are two camps of people. One who deride me for the pain and call it attention seeking. 

 

And another who try to validate my pain by calling me beautiful or deserving 

 

This only attracts more problems and mayhem. I'm a PEACE LOVING PERSON. What is it that is so hard to get? 

 

Both validation and criticism are misery. These things need to be banned from society. They create problems and destroy peace. 

 

I am not here for seeking attention or validation. Neither criticism. All forms of reactions are hurtful one way or another. 

 

 

My principle is live and let live. 

 

If someone is in pain, let them live in pain, they will eventually find their healing in their own way. 

 

You don't have to come to them with your Divine Feminine like @Joseph Maynor says. You are hiding your own ego. 

 

Your Divine Feminine approach is something I don't appreciate Phil. I don't want you to change. Just saying that I don't appreciate it. 

 

You come to me with "I'm trying to fix you" approach. But that only serves the purpose of validating my inner brokenness. I'm seeking freedom from that brokenness not validation of it. 

 

I would appreciate it if you don't come to me with your divine feminine ego lol. 

 

Just saying what I authentically feel about your misleading approach. 

 

[Phil]

@Reena

Pretty lame imo, but at least it’s a start.

What else about me?

No guidelines, no warnings etc. 

Don’t hold back! Really let me have it!

If you have a pair at all, as it were. 

I’m pretty certain that you don’t and will cower. 

[Reena]

1 minute ago, Phil said:

@Reena

Pretty lame imo, but at least it’s a start.

What else about me?

No guidelines, no warnings etc. 

Don’t hold back! Really let me have it!

If you have a pair at all, as it were. 

That you are not beautiful. And that's fine too. Accept reality. Accept pain. Accept misery. It's all fine. There is spirituality in everything, not just in beauty. 

Our need to chase beauty and perfection is what makes us not appreciate the beauty of pain and endurance. It makes us demonize darkness. 

Accept that everything is Enlightement.

The fact that someone is just alive is Already Enlightement. 

 

No more of the trap of spiritual ego. That's what @Joseph Maynor Maynor is saying. 

 

[Phil]

4 minutes ago, Reena said:

That you are not beautiful. And that's fine too. Accept reality. Accept pain. Accept misery. It's all fine. There is spirituality in everything, not just in beauty. 

Our need to chase beauty and perfection is what makes us not appreciate the beauty of pain and endurance. It makes us demonize darkness. 

Accept that everything is Enlightement.

The fact that someone is just alive is Already Enlightement. 

 

No more of the trap of spiritual ego. That's what @Joseph Maynor Maynor is saying. 

 

👎🏼 L.A.M.E. Ugly & not accepting?

How disappointing. 

That really all you got!?

 

Maybe make a thread just about me, to which no guidelines apply & participation is not mandatory…?

Whatcha think?

 

Open invitation to anyone who has a backbone.

[Reena]

3 minutes ago, Phil said:

👎🏼 L.A.M.E. How disappointing. 

That really all you got!?

 

Maybe make a thread just about me, to which no guidelines apply & participation is not mandatory…?

Whatcha think?

All about you? 

But my agenda is peace. 

 

A thread all about you is like calling for war. 

 

Why do you need war? Don't you want peace? 

Isn't peace neither beautiful nor ugly like water? 

 

Seek water my friend. Seek Water. 

 

Edited December 21, 2023 by Reena

[Phil]

@Reena

Not even lame. Basically a no show. All bark & no bite. 

🫤

[Reena]

1 minute ago, Phil said:

@Reena

Not even lame. Basically a no show. All bark & no bite. 

🫤

Even the bark is water. Seek Water. 

 

Why do you want a bite? Are you looking to bite back? 

 

See? 

How is a bite gonna make you happy?