Are women tougher than men?

[Phil]

Disney Love is the absence of (the belief) - “people”. 

Hence discord is always of the idea of me - a person. 

Person means mask. 

[Jonas Long]

"Disney love" seems pretty hetero normative, missionary, dick-in-vagina, boring vanilla shit to me...who needs it

[Phil]

11 minutes ago, Devin said:

'aversion' is even more the fundamental aversion.

 

Aversion from aversion anyone? 

 

Aversion isn't bad, pain isn't bad, grief sadness disappoint, none of it is bad!!

Even more fundamental. There isn’t the knower of that there is, good & bad. When that role is mentally stepped into indeed this does not seem to be the (nondual) Magic Kingdom. 

 

There is no aversion from aversion because aversion is not self, perception nor sensation. 

Always the activity of thought. 

Hopefully a well received pointer… aversion of aversion is still one thought, same as, aversion. 

Like a hundred thoughts is one thought, not a hundred thoughts. 

 

Put another way, cessation = (nondual) Goodness. And not even!

[Jonas Long]

2 minutes ago, Devin said:

"Men shouldn't be masculine!"

-Jonas Long et al.

Oh, it's ME??? I did neo feminism?  Sorry yall...I didnt realize.... I DIDN'T REALIZE!!!

Edited October 2, 2023 by Jonas Long

[Jonas Long]

7 minutes ago, Devin said:

"Men shouldn't be masculine!"

-Jonas Long et al.

How's this...

nobody has to be anything

I'll call it "neo humanism"

That better?

[Orb]

1 hour ago, Jonas Long said:

Don't extrapolate anything extra when one person doesn't want to be with you.  It's one person not feelin it with one person, nothing else, it doesn't mean you're "too blank" or "not enough" blank.  This is a blind guessing game that only serves to inhibit you from being authentic.  Authenticity is attractive, not trying to seem "masculine" or seem anything.  Be the least like what is expected of you.  Be surprising.  Be fucking different.  don't try and be brad pitt.

This is good, totally resonates 🤲

 

Pretty much acknowledging we are all awesome individuals already and in embracing that the authenticity is uncovered. 

[Devin]

4 minutes ago, DMT Elf said:

“Romance” as he’s describing, isn’t about men or women. It’s about capitalism.

Everything revolves around survival when it comes to people, see Freud "ego".

[Phil]

Not that Freud isn’t imagination, but Freud was very, very, very off about ‘ego’. 

[Devin]

5 minutes ago, Phil said:

Not that Freud isn’t imagination, but Freud was very, very, very off about ‘ego’. 

He invented 'ego', how can he be off if he's the one that made it up?

Edited October 2, 2023 by Devin

[Orb]

@Phil why is it so tough for guys to let go of all the baggage relating to attracting women? 

 

I experienced it in my youth, all the girls I was into liked the "bad boys" and I never had a lot of success with them. 

 

From that experience, it seemed pretty obvious that there are certain things that girls are into regardless of how nice you are or whatever. 

 

I once had a crush on a girl in highschool and she would flirt with this fat/ugly guy in class all the time, she'd pretty much beg him to sit with her and I remember he would slap her in the face and she would laugh and go along with it. 

 

THIS is the kinda shit that pisses me off, because a lot of young guys witness shit like this in highschool and then have to hear people giving generic advice on attraction and relationships like just be yourself or whatever. 

 

But I'm ready to let it go, can you shed some light on this?

 

Like imagine the insanity, a girl tells you oh just be yourself and be nice and whatever, then goes with a guy who does the opposite.

Edited October 2, 2023 by Orb

[Orb]

@Phil heres another one: I knew a girl in college who was the stereotypical stage green person. She would get offended at certain words being said, she'd post on instagram to save the whales and whatnot, one of those "safe space" types. And she went on to date a total asshole in my class who actually humiliated me in front of everyone. He would call people retarded and he was very masculine and strong, a very not give a F type of guy. She's still with him to this day. 

 

What's the deal with this? I think this is where the male "bitterness" comes from. I've seen it with my own eyes. 

 

I've had women cheat with me while they were dating nice boyfriends too. 😬AND some of them wouldn't even tell me they had a boyfriend until we hooked up. 

Edited October 2, 2023 by Orb

[Jonas Long]

4 minutes ago, Devin said:

He invented ego, how can he be off if he's the one that made it up?

He invented the term, not "ego".  Actually his translator invented the term, his terms for Id, ego and super ego in a direct translation were "the it, the I, and other over-I".  And "discovery" of the concept "ego" so to speak, doesn't mean everything he thought about it is accurate.

[Jonas Long]

2 minutes ago, Orb said:

@Phil heres another one: I knew a girl in college who was the stereotypical stage green person. She would get offended at certain words being said, she'd post on instagram to save the whales and whatnot, one of those "safe space" types. And she went on to date a total asshole in my class who actually humiliated me in front of everyone. He would call people retarded and he was very masculine and strong, a very not give a F type of guy. She's still with him to this day. 

 

What's the deal with this? I think this is where the male "bitterness" comes from. I've seen it with my own eyes. 

 

I've had women cheat with me while they were dating nice boyfriends too. 😬

The problem is extrapolating from anecdotal experience, especially at a formative age.  

[Jonas Long]

@Devin believe it or not I'm actually fairly masculine.  I'm just not limited to that.  I contain multitudes.  And don't misquote me again. 

[Orb]

1 minute ago, Jonas Long said:

The problem is extrapolating from anecdotal experience, especially at a formative age.  

Yes I'm open to this, it just hurts to see some stuff like that at a formative age and be confused like "how come I can't get that girl, something must be wrong with me." 

 

I'm just venting a little 🥹 

[Jonas Long]

3 minutes ago, Orb said:

Yes I'm open to this, it just hurts to see some stuff like that at a formative age and be confused like "how come I can't get that girl, something must be wrong with me." 

 

I'm just venting a little 🥹 

If it makes you feel better, the fat, girl-slapping kid is probably just as fucked up from his own version of formative anecdotal extrapolating. 

[Orb]

6 minutes ago, Jonas Long said:

If it makes you feel better, the fat, girl-slapping kid is probably just as fucked up from his own version of formative anecdotal extrapolating. 

Yea, but what made the girl want him to sit with her everyday? That's what I'm questioning, why is that attraction there? To put it a bit crudely, why does that behavior turn her on? Compared to just a typical nice platonic conversation or whatever. I guess only she knows lol.

Edited October 2, 2023 by Orb

[Jonas Long]

4 minutes ago, Orb said:

Yea, but what made the girl want him to sit with her everyday? That's what I'm questioning, why is that attraction there? To put it a bit crudely, why does that behavior turn her on? Compared to just a typical nice platonic conversation or whatever.

Who knows.  Daddy issues maybe.  People are into weird shit for any number of reasons.  Maybe she grew out of it or maybe she became a sadomasochist.  Same deal, it's about her own formative shit, probably.

[Blessed2]

22 minutes ago, Devin said:

Everything revolves around survival when it comes to people, see Freud "ego".

 

16 minutes ago, Phil said:

Not that Freud isn’t imagination, but Freud was very, very, very off about ‘ego’. 

 

15 minutes ago, Devin said:

He invented 'ego', how can he be off if he's the one that made it up?

 

"Ego" is latin for "me" or "I" or "self".

 

I agree with Phil. It's not about survival at all. Survival, as in survive what exactly?

 

Just a suggestion... A Course In Miracles was channeled by psychologists / psychiatrists who were looking for "a better way". Pretty sure that book is where the use of the word "ego" comes from in terms of nonduality these days.

 

It's like Freudian psychology but make it nondual. Also Christianity but make it nondual.

 

If there was a book to really "understand" what the ego is, I'd start there.

[Orb]

1 minute ago, Jonas Long said:

Who knows.  Daddy issues maybe.  People are into weird shit for any number of reasons.  Maybe she grew out of it or maybe she became a sadomasochist.  Same deal, it's about her own formative shit, probably.

Perhaps yea, it's easy to see something like that at a young age and think that applies to all girls.