Orb Posted June 7, 2023 Author Share Posted June 7, 2023 I love you God, thank you for this suffering, thank you for the difficulties. I love this suffering, I love these painful emotions, thank you so much. I love this sadness, I love this apathy, I love you God. Thank you for unconditionally loving me. I love the insecurity. I love it all. When things get rough I love it, when things are easy I love it. Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted June 7, 2023 Author Share Posted June 7, 2023 I may lose everything I want, I may end up dying, but that's okay with me now. Ive made peace with it. In fact, I love it, I love it all. I don't have to be a particular way to Love, I am perfect just as I am. I love the laziness, the inability to live "normally" I love it! I love the suffering, I love all of the challenges, I love God/Love, I love everyone. My possible job opportunity ended up not working out but I love that. Ive been doing drugs all day and I love it, Ive been kneeling on the floor loving you instead of spider webbing. I used every ounce of strength within me to love you, to thank you for this body, the air in this room, this room, this suffering, these challenges. Thank you!!!🙏 So what if I lose everything? So what if I die? So what if people think im a failure? These things don't matter to me anymore. Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted June 7, 2023 Author Share Posted June 7, 2023 I love this confusion. I love this hopelessness, I really do. I love the porn addiction! I love it aaaaaallllll!!!! Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted June 7, 2023 Author Share Posted June 7, 2023 The fear of death is what keeps society going. That fear is intimately tied with survival. I don't have to be afraid of death anymore. Im not afraid anymore!!!! I love death! I love eternal life!! I LOVE! Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted June 7, 2023 Author Share Posted June 7, 2023 If I lose my car Im okay with that. If I have to leave my home and leave society im okay with that. If I have to consciously die and leave this manifested realm im okay with that. Im at peace finally!! I love death, life, Love, reality. Death is a real possibility no one can escape from, everyday is a blessing. People assume that dying is somehow bad or you should only die in old age, this is nonsense. There's nothing wrong with death. Not everyone has to live a full human life, some people can leave earlier, that's totally fine. There's this societal push for every human being to live until old age, it's nonsense. But....I love that too!!!!! Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted June 7, 2023 Author Share Posted June 7, 2023 I finally realized the final obstacle on the spiritual path, I have to Love death, I have to love death to death. Death can no longer arouse fear in me, only Love! If death is loved totally then nothing can stop me! Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted June 7, 2023 Author Share Posted June 7, 2023 All of my ideas, me, friends, houses, belongings, beliefs, will go and that's okay, I love that! Death cannot be escaped no matter what! Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted June 7, 2023 Author Share Posted June 7, 2023 Im unconditionally loved even if I don't live or behave like everyone else, even if I leave society. I don't even need to sleep anymore! Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted June 7, 2023 Author Share Posted June 7, 2023 Im done chasing the American dream, it's time to wake up. 🙂 Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted June 7, 2023 Author Share Posted June 7, 2023 Thank you God for everything, for this life, it's been pretty fun and interesting, the challenges were very fun. This whole thing has been like a roller coaster ride, but now im ready to get off of it. Im not feeling fear anymore, I can say it out loud without being afraid! Im ready to leave!! Im gonna consciously leave this body, it's not gonna be suicide like killing myself, im gonna just leave this body consciously, ive read about it and it's possible. Thank you to everyone and everything!!! I love you all!! Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted June 7, 2023 Author Share Posted June 7, 2023 Please god, help me! 🙏 Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted June 7, 2023 Author Share Posted June 7, 2023 Help me forgive all of the ignorance in the world, help me to move through this life effortlessly! Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blessed2 Posted June 7, 2023 Share Posted June 7, 2023 2 hours ago, Orb said: the challenges were very fun. What challenges have you faced? 🤔 Quote Mention There must be an effortless way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted June 7, 2023 Share Posted June 7, 2023 @Orb Immediately call a suicide prevention hotline. They offer a very specific assistance from very specific training. Don’t think it over or hesitate - call right now. Addressing ideation immediately is very important. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted June 8, 2023 Author Share Posted June 8, 2023 @Phil I did. I will not post anymore suicidal messages on here. Next time I will call the hotline or journal it out. I'm not gonna go there. Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted June 8, 2023 Author Share Posted June 8, 2023 Walked outside this morning. Letting the emotions sort themselves out. Thought says "I love the Self, thank you for This!". Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted June 8, 2023 Author Share Posted June 8, 2023 I have to trust that things are getting better, I have to keep my eyes on the Self. Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted June 8, 2023 Author Share Posted June 8, 2023 I anticipate the moment of liberation but there's no thought I can use as a reference to know what it will be like. Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted June 8, 2023 Author Share Posted June 8, 2023 Hahahaha, I thought the path was gonna be sunshine and rainbows back when I was 16, never imagined I'd feel like the whole universe is crumbling, like the ground is crumbling beneath me and devouring me. Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted June 8, 2023 Author Share Posted June 8, 2023 My heart tells me Self Realization is close! Even if it seems far away right now. Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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