spiritual dreams

Unburdened a social anxiety part but it is part of a big network of parts so I'm dealing with the backlash from that. I'm getting kundalini awakening experiences more often now and they feel more smooth and less overwhelming.

Despite everything I've said, I live in a country without guns and I'm happy its that way.

Yes, its an allegory about following your dharma, even if it means violence. The whole Bhagavad-Gita is pretty much an extensive discussion about why Arjuna is justified in being violent for self-defense. Just because you don't like violence doesn't change what the Gita is about.

Lol yes it is. The entire story is a god telling a guy to follow his duty and kill mofos. Have you read the book?

Non violence isn't very useful when someone breaks into your house and rapes your wife and kids. Sometimes violence is necessary and you gotta murk a mofo. This is one of the themes of the bhagavad gita.

It's not really about me getting shot. It's about me being able to shoot anyone that messes with me. At least that's the subconscious thought process. Its about ego, masculinity and no longer being weak. Btw these thoughts are from my repressed shadow side. I'm just writing them out to give you an idea of the gun owners mentality. I don't actually want to shoot people (most of the time 😈)

If someone else with a gun is going to mess with me, better to have one then.

I know but the gun is more for personal empowerment. Who would ever mess with me again if I could just shoot them? Yes I am aware that this probably is a mental heath issue on my part and that I should go to therapy. I'm working on it.

Noticing some repressed rage coming up. I used to be small and weak as a child and I was bullied for it a decent amount. Since I couldn't fight, my natural response was the fawn response making me timid. This continues to this very day and I am still scared of aggressive and violent confrontation. However, there is another part of me that wants to fight back and beat these people. Because of this part, I have trained in Muay Thai, BJJ and MMA for a while now and I'm fairly confident in my ability to handle myself in violent confrontations. However, The timid part of me is still there avoiding conflict and being a wimp. I still wilt at any kind of confrontation. This makes my fighter part very angry. Why am I cowering to people I could beat? I could smash their faces in, break their limbs and choke them unconscious and yet I am still scared. In order to calm this angry part and comfort my scared part I made a pact with the angry part that the next time someone acts aggressively towards me, I won't fawn. If I have to fight I will use all my aggression even if it means I kill that person or die trying. This is the only deal that the angry part would accept but now I am scared of going to prison or ending up dead. But I'd rather die go to prison for murder than live my life as a coward. I can see how this could be dangerous. Perhaps there is another way.

Honestly if I lived in America, I would carry a gun and bulletproof vest in public.

@Atronoid Thanks! I generally use the traditional methods outlined by dick schwartz. My typical routine goes something like: 1. sit down and meditate for a few minutes 2. notice the parts that arise during the meditation. Notice trailheads and trace to the parts. 3. pick one of the parts to focus on, try to befriend the part rather than resisting, ask the part to unblend 4. notice any parts that get triggered by you befriending the part and ask them to relax 5. if one of the parts refuses to relax, return to step 3 with a focus on that part instead 6. once you befriend the part, ask it what its trying to protect you from 7. thank it for protecting you and let it know that you are safe now and don't need protection anymore. 8. if you do this right the part will either unburden itself or point you to an exile. 9. if you are pointed to an exile, simply project love and acceptance towards it and listen to what it has to say. 10. let it know that you will stop abandoning it and that you wont leave it behind and project as much love as you can towards it. If you do this right it will unburden and you will feel a huge energetic shift. Good luck in your journey as well!

Unburdened an exiled part that stored my desperation to do with lack of sex and intimacy. i.e. my inner incel. It was really hard facing this part of me due to the shame and negative emotions surrounding it, but now that it's been unburdened, I feel a spaciousness where the shame and desperation used to be.

sounds like something wrong with your solar plexus chakra

did a lot of unburdening near my heart chakra. The heart area is the most protected and burdened area of my energetic body. There is so much potential for me to get hurt.

Internal family systems helped my open my heart chakra.

@flowboy yeah might look into some

Probably going to a music festival. I just never had the money or people to go with.

@flowboy Hey Erik! nice to see you on AOB. Yeah I might try some spirituality events.

I mean, its hard to accept that your life is a lie when you've lived most of it.

was working with protectors near my throat chakras and had do deal with like 10 parts at once, each one deeply interlinked with another. ffs I got a lot of parts

Been working with a protector that resists IFS. The protector promised to keep me safe from my abusive childhood. Now it resists change because it views the unknown as dangerous. I've noticed significant backlash from this part that has really hindered my IFS journey. There is also another part that feels like IFS is futile and is overwhelmed by all the work that must be done.

Managed to unburden my freeze and fawn response. Both were located near my solar plexus and I convinced them I was safe. The entire of my mid body and back feel more spacious.