spiritual dreams

resistance to what is.

kind of. What does this have to do with resistance to suffering?

you were talking about glasses and hearing aids to see thoughts more clearly. To be honest I didn't really follow what you originally said either.

I gues psychedelics and meditation are the equivalents.

nonresistance. Like how the fuck am I supposed to not resist that shit? If I knew how to achieve permanent states of transcending suffering, I would be enjoying that but I'm having trouble doing that. The distinction is in myself as a limited thing that must survive rather than the godhead. thats what I'm struggling with. Ok will try. thanks.

either a lot or just one depending on the perspective. But in my daily life it appears as lots of parts of perception.

@Mandy I get where your coming from but I don't really think it applies to me. A lot of what triggers me is people who aren't comfortable in their own skin. Like for example I get triggered by needlessly aggressive guys who pick on random people. But they clearly are not comfortable in their own skin otherwise they wouldn't be so aggressive. That being said I do have a subconscious aggression which I suppress which might also contribute to the triggering. I've done a lot of combat sports and weird fantasy of mine is that some aggressive bully picks on me and I beat the shit out of them. I can't exactly express this aggression since I can't really go around fighting people.

yes, but thoughts are part of perception.

perception I think. Like I perceive of a perceiver that feels sensations. But it also might be a sensation. the perceiver feels like a strain behind my eyes.

Yes, when I'm resisting, there is a duality between the perciever and the sensations. When I surrender, the duality dissolves.

perception and sensation are one and part of something deeper which I can't really describe. That's what I was trying to say.

Can you elaborate on this?

Neither, it seems to transcend both.

I mean, there is but I can't exactly telepathically communicate it to you. It's ineffable

If I knew what it was, how could I communicate it to you without concepts? Any answer I give you has to be conceptual because I have to use words to get them across. I can't telepathically beam my understanding to you can I?

suffering is an illusion, there is no self, be in the present moment, nonresistance. etc. If I knew that I wouldn't be on here... A better analogy would be: 'its true that the earth is round but in my everyday life, the distances are so small that I might as well think of it as flat' The absolute truth is that torture doesn't exist. The relative truth is that if someone hooked a car battery to your balls, it would hurt... Yes that's what im trying to do but it's hard to let go of the belief that torture, rape and genocide are bad. Not for a logical reason but from a deeper underlying fear. I am well aware of the logic of all of this. But letting go is not a logical decision but an emotional one.

Conceptually speaking, it is the letting go of resistance towards reality and the present moment. I feel like we're going around in circles. Are you doing that zen thing where you ask me confusing shit to try and break my conceptual mind?

Probably fear/despair/powerlessness.

I do know what it is. I am able to access levels of acceptance to a certain degree. But communicating it to you requires concepts.

I am able to access certain levels of it but it is limited as I cannot accept everything. But communicating it requires concepts.

What your saying makes logical sense to me. I am aware that I have no control over the outcomes and worrying about things beyond my control is pointless and detrimental. However, some of the extreme suffering overrides this logic. I am aware that being afraid and resisting is going to have no effect on whether anything bad happening to me yet I can't help it.

yes pretty much

words and concepts. where is this going?

acceptance

Its not symbolic. but to communicate about it, symbols must be used