Kevin Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 So this girl I’ve been seeing is being cold over text. I’m assuming the things probably over but mainly I’m making this post because whenever a girl I like starts to act cold towards me it’s a really sad experience. I wish I weren’t so sensitive about it. I’ve only been seeing her for 3-4 weeks but it makes me really sad that she doesn’t seem interested anymore. And I get angry because I think she should be acting different. It’s a huge source of stress and I want to resolve this because if you take her out of the equation, I’ll be going through the same thing with another girl. And I have gone through this same emotional rollercoaster my entire life with other girls. Same shit different toilet. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 Could you expand on ‘cold’? Has she mentioned any specifics, any clues? What would you guess she is wanting & looking for… but not finding? Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted January 29 Author Share Posted January 29 2 minutes ago, Phil said: Could you expand on ‘cold’? Has she mentioned any specifics, any clues? What would you guess she is wanting & looking for… but not finding? Basically just taking forever to text back. We agreed to FaceTime today around 1:30, I called her and she didn’t pick up. She didn’t text anything either. And that kind of pissed me off. My friends who I’m not fucking are more easy to get a hold of than her. We live in different states. She lives in my hometown. She did mention before it might be tough to keep things going because of the distance but last time I saw her was great so I assumed that would continue. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 @Kevin But in thinking she might be being cold / bringing the relationship to an end, why? What might she be thinking, feeling emotionally, finding and not finding? Also separate selves respecting / not respecting is just one framing. If it doesn’t resonate it doesn’t resonate, right? Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted January 30 Author Share Posted January 30 2 hours ago, Phil said: @Kevin But in thinking she might be being cold / bringing the relationship to an end, why? What might she be thinking, feeling emotionally, finding and not finding? Also separate selves respecting / not respecting is just one framing. If it doesn’t resonate it doesn’t resonate, right? So we talked and apparently she’s pretty hung up on our differing views on Trump and circumcision😂. It seems like she really likes me but she’s very stubborn on these things. She asked me if I would still talk to her even if she didn’t want a relationship. I said probably not. I made it clear I was looking for a relationship and that I’m pretty over casual sex type situations. She said she’d think about it but I’m not banking on it. It’s weird because she kept saying she really liked hanging out with me but and it’s a shame these are points of contention. I’m not sure what she wants. I think she should just let it go. Also I don’t like that I like her as much as I do. She’s probably not good for me but idk. I just get attached quickly sometimes. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 It sounds like you both actually like each-other and there’s some identity positioning going on. Getting in your own ways. If you do want to be with her keep in mind views & opinions of dickheads aren’t who you really are. It’s all apparent, change, just ‘mental positions’ that’ll fade soon enough. It always takes two to tango. Her stubbornness is nothing without your stubbornness. If you said three things you can’t stand about trump & she said three things she appreciates about him you’d both be back to laughing and having fun & the whole issue would seem completely different. Love is humor really. You could be a position-less punchline she could never have seen coming. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted January 30 Author Share Posted January 30 16 minutes ago, Phil said: It sounds like you both actually like each-other and there’s some identity positioning going on. Getting in your own ways. If you do want to be with her keep in mind views & opinions of dickheads aren’t who you really are. It’s all apparent, change, just ‘mental positions’ that’ll fade soon enough. It always takes two to tango. Her stubbornness is nothing without your stubbornness. I really don’t think I’m being stubborn. I haven’t tried to push any views on her at all. Maybe she needs more time for her stubbornness to dissipate. I guess I am stubborn about the circumcision thing. But I think it’s child abuse. 16 minutes ago, Phil said: If you said three things you can’t stand about trump & she said three things she appreciates about him you’d both be back to laughing and having fun & the whole issue would seem completely different. Love is humor really. You could be a position-less punchline she could never have seen coming. That would be fun. I don’t think she’d do that though. I guess what’s bothering me is that there’s all these good things happening and we’re both having a great time me then this one little thing is ruining it because she can’t look past it. It seems to me like a toxic mental position to be holding. I don’t want to ruin a good thing because someone has beliefs I think are crazy. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 @Kevin She might be thinking that also. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted January 30 Author Share Posted January 30 16 minutes ago, Phil said: @Kevin She might be thinking that also. Thanking that I’m stubborn? Probably. How to move forward? Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 It's kinda sexy and fun to disagree on things that seem really important with someone you like, like forbidden romance. Sorta like Source brought you together. You wouldn't believe the stuff me and my husband thought and disagreed on when we first started dating. I can see it now, Kevin votes democrat and she becomes the biggest advocate for leaving boys intact in her local mom's group. 😂 Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 7 hours ago, Kevin said: Thanking that I’m stubborn? Probably. How to move forward? 🤷♂️ “Typo” wise, being thankful seems rather opposite to being stubborn. A sure fire way to introspectively check is to propose the question - am I nothing? If the answer is an infinitely loving & hilarious ‘yes, obviously’ and the apparent ordinary is mesmerizingly extraordinary, then there’s no stubbornness. If no, you’re working with some beliefs here and that might be playing a factor. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted January 30 Author Share Posted January 30 8 hours ago, Phil said: 🤷♂️ “Typo” wise, being thankful seems rather opposite to being stubborn. A sure fire way to introspectively check is to propose the question - am I nothing? If the answer is an infinitely loving & hilarious ‘yes, obviously’ and the apparent ordinary is mesmerizingly extraordinary, then there’s no stubbornness. If no, you’re working with some beliefs here and that might be playing a factor. lol I didn’t catch that typo. The answer is sometimes yes I am nothing. Also yes definitely some beliefs. It’s actually weird cuz on paper I should probably just stop talking to her. But after I talked with her last night she texted me and wanted to see when I could visit her again so we set something up. I think we both really like each other but it’s difficult. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted January 30 Author Share Posted January 30 10 hours ago, Mandy said: It's kinda sexy and fun to disagree on things that seem really important with someone you like, like forbidden romance. Sorta like Source brought you together. You wouldn't believe the stuff me and my husband thought and disagreed on when we first started dating. I can see it now, Kevin votes democrat and she becomes the biggest advocate for leaving boys intact in her local mom's group. 😂 lol maybe😂. I will say her coming into my life is really driving home the point of not caring what people think. Also a huge exercise in patience lol. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 10 hours ago, Mandy said: It's kinda sexy and fun to disagree on things that seem really important with someone you like, like forbidden romance. There is a bit of a thrill I guess. My gf believes in Jesus and I share my nondual stuff with her. It seems like she would leave in a heartbeat, but she hasn't, she's still stayed with me and likes me a lot. Makes me wonder what the hell we're gonna do in the future lol. Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 @Kevin The more you each express or share & communicate and see where the other is coming from, the less & less difficult it is & the closer you get. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 12 minutes ago, Phil said: @Kevin The more you each express or share & communicate and see where the other is coming from, the less & less difficult it is & the closer you get. YES!!!! I love it 😀 Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 Maybe you need a break but I'm not sure. Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 20 hours ago, Orb said: There is a bit of a thrill I guess. My gf believes in Jesus and I share my nondual stuff with her. It seems like she would leave in a heartbeat, but she hasn't, she's still stayed with me and likes me a lot. Makes me wonder what the hell we're gonna do in the future lol. When my parents met, my mom thought she was Atheist and my dad thought he was Christian, he convinced mom that he was right, and later himself he was wrong, so now she thinks she is Christian and he thinks he is an Atheist. 🤷♀️ Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blessed2 Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 On 1/30/2024 at 12:44 AM, Kevin said: I’ll be going through the same thing with another girl. What is it that you'd want to go through with a girl? 🙂 What do you want? What's the best-case scenario? Quote Mention There must be an effortless way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted February 1 Author Share Posted February 1 3 hours ago, Blessed2 said: What is it that you'd want to go through with a girl? 🙂 What do you want? What's the best-case scenario? I’m looking for a relationship with a girl who’s crazy about me and who I’m crazy about. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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