How to deal with fear ?

[Joseph Maynor]

The best way to deal with fear is to move into it.  But also be willing to accept the consequences of that  too like a grown-up.  I get to the point sometimes where I push things just to see what happens.  And usually all that happens is a whole lotta nothing.  But I feel good like I conquered myself a little.  I asserted my right to be here and take actions as I see fit.

[Isagi Yoichi]

 

5 hours ago, Someone here said:

And also we as men are doomed to suffer

 

that's an illusionary belief

[Reena]

@Someone here I think a couple of things helped me. Actually distracting with TV is a really good idea. Do you remember when we are children and scared or suffering a nightmare, our parents try to distract us by singing a song or giving us a toy to play with. 

So watching something definitely helps me. But there is a condition. You should not turn the distraction into an addiction. You should do things in moderation. 

Also pay attention to the stuff you watch or hear. Do you watch horror movies or constant negative news? I have found that when I watch something that is supposed to create fear, it has an after effect where the fear lingers. People who are anxiety prone like you and me should watch something pleasant. For example I'll listen to birds singing, lots of videos like that. They create positive feelings. The body is unfortunately used to negativity because of being in a stressed state. 

 

Another very effective method is to go on vacation. When I went on vacation a few years ago to Goa and other places, I felt much better and it decreased my fear levels significantly. I was getting good sleep. 

 

Cut down any salty food in your diet. I have found that my fear levels are higher on days when I consume spicy food. Eat calming foods like salad and cucumber. Tomatoes help a lot with anxiety.

 

The next thing that helped me was something my psychiatrist suggested. It's writing and doing 3-4 fun things to do in a day and doing it. Doodling, painting or craft or singing or watching something cute and fun. It creates good feelings. I have a thread called Fun Activity Thread. Just doing only 1 fun thing is so effective in replacing fear with calmness or pleasantness. 

 

I found that meditation my anxiety increases. So I don't do it or do it only sometimes. 

 

But doing fun stuff significantly helps deal with anxiety and fear. 

 

I'll be posting more videos on tricks and hacks on defeating anxiety on that thread 

 

If you try to do something big like sudden change in lifestyle, then it doesn't work because that action itself creates more pressure or stress. For example if you are feeling fear and if I told you to go to the gym, it might create more pressure to suddenly change your body to do something heavy and thus create more resistance and so more fear. 

 

The trick is to do little things here and there that are fun. But not go too overboard with heavy stuff. 

 

Hope this helps. 

 

[Phil]

9 hours ago, Someone here said:

@Phil I explained to you how that is not helping. 

It’s not a doing which helps, it’s what already is, has been all along. Emotion is what’s been conceptualized. Only seemingly replaced, but not actually. 

[Blessed2]

IMO not very good advice from @Philin this...

 

Not sure if I just misunderstand, but isn't it already "felt fully"? How could feeling not be felt fully? You can't take off feeling like you'd take off a jacket.

 

At least for me, when I hear that sort of advice, the interpretation goes very easily to "They're saying I need to face this fear."

 

That I don't want to feel it, but I have to feel it harder to get rid of it. "I must stop being afraid of feeling fear."

 

"I am still experiencing fear so that means I haven't felt it fully yet."

 

"Feel fully" easily goes to such conceptualization / narrative about feeling. It keeps the fear in place.

 

@Someone here is already "feeling it fully". Acknowledging that it does not feel great. Hence the thread. The next step in allowing the guidance is allowing distraction (letting go) to take place.

 

Distraction IS "feeling the guidance fully".

 

Edited January 3 by Blessed2

[Phil]

@Blessed2

Just in terms of emotion. It’s been replaced conceptually essentially, but not actually, and therein felt ‘all along’. 

It’s evident in communication. As if I am a teacher of consciousness who knows & understands, and that knowledge & understanding somehow helps a student / leads to real guidance. Or worse, a good person, great guy, etc. 

 

Like thetan levels that lead to Xenu in comparison to emotions. Concepts about transcending, going beyond, becoming, life, what I am, a future, etc in comparison to emotions. 

 

 

Fear felt fully actually feels amazingly great. 

[WhiteOwl]

25 minutes ago, Phil said:

@Blessed2

Just in terms of emotion. It’s been replaced conceptually essentially, but not actually, and therein felt ‘all along’. 

It’s evident in communication. As if I am a teach of consciousness who knows & understands, and that knowledge & understanding somehow helps a student / leads to real guidance. 

 

Like thetan levels that lead to Xenu in comparison to emotions. 

 

Fear felt fully actually feels amazing great. 

How would you describe feeling something fully. Fear or any other emotion. Is it zooming in or seeing the whole? 
 

[Phil]

@WhiteOwl

Acknowledging it’s how a thought, belief or interpretation feels. Feeling emotion fully isn’t a doing, like how meditation isn’t a doing but a non-doing and so interpretation unwinds, untangles. 

[Nadosa]

2 hours ago, Phil said:

@WhiteOwl

Acknowledging it’s how a thought, belief or interpretation feels. Feeling emotion fully isn’t a doing, like how meditation isn’t a doing but a non-doing and so interpretation unwinds, untangles. 

It's like listening to music. Music just hits different without conceptualization, knowing that it already is listened. 

[Phil]

@Nadosa

Exactly. Like saying music is fear, and in listening to it, it isn’t and wasn’t in the first place.