Why am I Attracted to Women, a Deeper Look

[Orb]

5 minutes ago, Jonas Long said:

@Orb if it's causing you this extreme level of disress it might be bordering on a pathology.  

I don't think it's that I'm dealing with a pathology, I think it's just that most men don't speak about this as openly to people except for close friends and stuff. This is pretty common actually among a lot of guys that I know, horniness is a universal setback for a lot of guys lol. 

[Orb]

6 minutes ago, Mandy said:

Did that actually link properly? The comment about the girl you saw and how you didn't recognize her. 

Oh yea I get that, just not sure how to not recognize a hot girl.

[Mandy]

@Orb You already aren't. 

[Orb]

8 minutes ago, Mandy said:

@Orb You already aren't. 

Okay I'm good with women. 

[Mandy]

@Orb  Come on, wake UP.  Why were you confident around "ordinary girl" without her weave/makeup? 

[Orb]

Just now, Mandy said:

@Orb  Come on, wake UP.  Why were you confident around "ordinary girl" without her weave/makeup? 

I guess I didn't frame her as a hot girl or desirable girl in my mind. There's this one girl who I wasn't super attracted to but after chatting with her she kinda grew on me and now I get a little nervous around her. I guess the only antidote is to stop thinking about her.

[Phil]

2 hours ago, Orb said:

What is the difference? 

You’d croak without eating. 

 

2 hours ago, Orb said:

 

Sexual desire seems to be a fetter on the path, it's very powerful, I mean for every guy I'm pretty sure we've all done ridiculous risky stuff in the name of boners. Like I'll see a beautiful woman in my job and then it's like oh my god I want her 🥹, what do I do in this position? Lol

Why do you need to do something? 

[Orb]

8 minutes ago, Phil said:

You’d croak without eating. 

 

Why do you need to do something? 

I want a girlfriend lol. 

[Jonas Long]

34 minutes ago, Orb said:

I don't think it's that I'm dealing with a pathology, I think it's just that most men don't speak about this as openly to people except for close friends and stuff. This is pretty common actually among a lot of guys that I know, horniness is a universal setback for a lot of guys lol. 

Ok, it seemed like it was getting in the way of something, the way you were talking about it I guess 

[Phil]

34 minutes ago, Orb said:

I want a girlfriend lol. 

For sure. Find a girlfriend. But why do you need to do something about the ‘position’ / horniness? 

[Blessed2]

The world (including men, women and sexual attraction etc.) is that which you see when you close your eyes from love-truth.

 

A bit like black darkness is what you see when you close your physical eyes. The world is darkness.

 

 

Edit: Huh. Just noticed how accurate this analogy is. Because when you close your physical eyes, you don't really see darkness. Rather, "darkness" is the lack of seeing. There isn't actually such a thing as darkness.

 

Edited September 6, 2023 by Blessed2

[Orb]

8 hours ago, Phil said:

For sure. Find a girlfriend. But why do you need to do something about the ‘position’ / horniness? 

Yea I dont have to do anything about it.

[Phil]

38 minutes ago, Orb said:

Yea I dont have to do anything about it.

If relief isn’t felt, there’s something to be expressed, liberated of. 

[Mandy]

10 hours ago, Orb said:

I guess I didn't frame her as a hot girl or desirable girl in my mind. There's this one girl who I wasn't super attracted to but after chatting with her she kinda grew on me and now I get a little nervous around her. I guess the only antidote is to stop thinking about her.

It shows that it's more about your relationship with your self and what you believe about your own worthiness than it is about true attraction. If it's true appreciation, that's the experience of beauty, that's pleasurable. There's no "I must HAVE in the future" in it to be alright. Women (people) aren't fast food billboards, we're exquisite works of art, every one of us. Some appear on the surface to be classically beautiful, like a landscape or a still-life and others really took the art level to somewhere it had never gone before, to say something or to express something in a way it's never been expressed before. If you only see classically beautiful floral still-life paintings in people, if you deem those the only ones worth looking at, but also can't stand to look at them, you're gonna miss all the art in the gallery. The canvases are actually just framed mirrors. What you see in the painting is really what you see in you. The art gallery is really a house of mirrors. You can imagine how discordant it is to go around sticking post it notes on all the mirror/master paintings rating them on their hotness and disallowing yourself to truly appreciate the ones you rated highest. 😂 One might start to get angry at the paintings themselves... but you know, mirrors. 

 

 

[Reena]

You don't really seem attracted to women. Looks like you're attracted to your own ego. 

 

[Phil]

On 9/5/2023 at 12:32 PM, Orb said:

I find there's a feeling of shame related to "pursuing" a female. Like if I see a girl that's hot and I try to make a move I feel like I'm doing something bad sometimes or others will shame me.

You believe the thought that there’s a “feeling of shame”. 

You believe “I feel like I”, as if there were two of you; one which knows what the other feels like… as if you know anything about what you feel like. 

You believe you’re doing something bad and don’t like how judgmental thoughts feel. You ignore the judgement & project the discord of the judgment via the thought “others” from the perspective of the separate self of thought (I feel like I). 

“Others” can not shame you. There aren’t “others”. There is how thoughts feel to you. 

 

In this way, the activity of thought & the believing of covers up the nondual goodness, the great feeling, you are. Then it seems like the great feeling is on the line and girls (specifically this interaction) are a VERY BIG DEAL.

 

 

Meditation is the way. When thoughts arise about how you can’t meditate or can’t do it right etc, these are self ref thoughts which aren’t true about you at all, and this is what meditation resolves. 

[Orb]

10 minutes ago, Phil said:

You believe the thought that there’s a “feeling of shame”. 

You believe “I feel like I”, as if there were two of you; one which knows what the other feels like… as if you know anything about what you feel Meditation is the way. When thoughts arise about how you can’t meditate or can’t do it right etc, these are self ref thoughts which aren’t true about you at all, and this is what meditation resolves. 

I've recognized this before but the thoughts don't go away.

[Phil]

6 minutes ago, Orb said:

I've recognized this before but the thoughts don't go away.

Saying “I’ve recognized this before” is saying what’s being said is not actually registering. There is no you of before. You’re present now, only. Recognize it now. 

Why would you want thoughts to go away? Because of how they feel.

Can you let a discordant thought go, humbly… yep. 

Can you reach for a better thought, humbly… yep. 

 

 

[Joseph Maynor]

On 9/4/2023 at 3:37 PM, Mandy said:

Synergy.

 

I agree.  There's a synergy between the Masculine and the Feminine.