Phil

@BlendingInfinite I don’t.

@BlendingInfinite I wouldn’t think so, no. That seems kind of extreme.

@BlendingInfinite Essentially some thoughts around the belief people have intelligence.

@BlendingInfinite I don’t really. It was just a guess.

@Zeroguy (Imo) Contentment is kind of the default, yes. Very close to boredom and hopefulness, which are just fine, but not exactly a lot happenin. Much better than disappointment, not nearly as good as feelin enthusiasm. I wouldn’t hold a should or strive in terms of vibration. I’d just dive into, bask, extract the guidance, of the recognition, acknowledgement, full embracing of what one is feeling. Like, I could hold a cork underwater, and should & strive all I want, but I can not make the cork float. But the cork floats when unfettered, so you know, that’s really nice. 🙂 ‘Doership’ & corks are kinda opposite in a way.

🙏🏻 The right to left inner movement of energy / awareness would be great to the hips. Left side / right side tends to be balance by a very subtle shift in the muscles of the hips. When walking, walk slow and make it about mindfully feeling the pull of gravity, like in every single cell at once. Make the walking just the means to feeling that grounding. 18 might be the sweet spot, desired to ‘get back to’. Wanting that feeling again. So maybe what ever followed, around 19, 20 ish, is now something which can be loved / let go. There might be a connection with band, music, going forward, and doing all of that with a lady. It’s always awesome when we attract an angel, and also it can bring up what we’ve been carrying. A certain wanting to go forward, and a slight weight or resistance felt, to be let go.

@BlendingInfinite 🙏🏻 If I was to guess at an underlying theme that connects, it’d be worth in regard to objects and things, and worthy / unworthy in regard to self/people, and worthiness / unworthiness as emotional guidance.

@Blessed2 Is there something ‘big’… something which you want to start, or a direction you know you want to go in which ‘seems big’? If so, is there the feeling of relief when you bring it to mind, and acknowledge it’s like everything else… in that it’ll be experienced as just this now, or, one moment at a time like anything else…? Further… when you think of breaking it down into steps, small pieces, is there more contentment with this moment now, as it is?

I probably am. Sorry. In hindsight, you maybe just wanted me to know what you want.

What comes to mind… My guess is the tension favors the right side of the body, if so, for the two cents below, start with focus on the right side, feel into it as you said, then ‘merge’ it with the right… then do the same with the entire body. Bring up thoughts about failure, pressure, what other people think / rejection… and the accompanying emotions… and ‘shine the light’, allow them to be felt, be present with them… overall in the same sense as the stretching and breathing into. Immediately next, ask if this is indicative of your nature, if this is aligned - and then question, if this is not, who’s is this / from who did this (conditioning) come, who does this really belong to? Question, is one made to carry the weight of two? Would I want anyone to carry ‘weight’ - from me? If it’s past specific event related, bring to mind the inner child / inner being as well. Heal with mindfulness. Bring to mind, “I may be in this world, but this aspect is not indicative of my nature. It is of this world. It is not of me.” If it’s present someone else related, bring to mind wishing them well. Know and feel the truth, that compassion and love are of our nature, even when not seemingly present in this world. No longer attempt to, or think that you are, in control of what you are not in control of. Know that ourself, source, is already present within them. Recognize your role more realistically in recognizing source is already ‘on the job’ for them, just as for you. In either of these scenarios - what is not indicative of your true nature might arise, and it might feel like rage and anger. Careful with the distinction to express is to let go, and to let go of control… vs any inner subtle judgement, really logic & common sense, that anger or rage are unwarranted. Just like it is better to get stung than to live in fear of bee’s… it is better to smash pillows and pound pavement, than to live with suppression. I also have a hunch this relates to the present, and the past, specifically around age 18(ish). No info or details as to why, sorry. Might event & person / relationship related. Practically, if it resonates… Eat some yellow foods. Lemon, bananas, corn, etc. Pick up a citrine at a local hippy crystal shop, and wear it as a necklace under your shirt for a few days. Also, when meditating / bringing the thoughts, emotions to mind to love & heal, hold the crystal in your right hand against the solar plexus, and hold out your left hand palm up & open, as the ‘receiving’ hand. Let the body be a conduit of healing entering in through the left hand, through the entire body, then coming to a point where the crystal is, then into the solar plexus. Also meditative walking comes to mind, with attention being returned again & again to the back of the legs. Just like returning the attention to feeling breathing in typical meditation. If this ‘two cents’ ‘brings it up’ when applied - but not completely out… buy flowers for someone. Could be anyone, for any reason. But for you, do it as a gesture to the universe to acknowledge your forgiveness, and the truth of the sensitivity of your nature. Also, not trying to pry or anything.. but if you don’t live alone… and if it’s feasible… spend some time alone in a nature. A long walk, a night, a couple days… whatever’s doable. It’s the best for anything conditioning-ish to float away and your nature to fill you up.

Don’t like the people, or given people is a thought, don’t care for the discord? If it’s the discord with the thoughts, aligned thoughts would be the opposite. If it’s the discord with the thoughts, could be conditioning, since one would never consciously focus on thoughts which feel discordant.

@BlendingInfinite What’s ‘it’?

@BlendingInfinite How so?

@BlendingInfinite Why?

Neat video.

@ivankiss I’m just appreciating that you shared that. F’n angels. Every one. All of you’s! 🙏

@Blessed2 Excellent. Now how about contentment. In having acknowledge all of those thoughts, and acknowledged the emotional guidance therein, of how you feel when you focus on those thoughts… can you still find anything which must be changed, so that you can simply feel contentment? Careful with holding any expectations about contentment too. It’s not hopefulness, it just feels better than pessimism and boredom.

Yes. Also, all of those meditations are listed in an order which coincides with the Ox Herder pictures, which is like a path map. It’s just one path map, in the same way that an opinion or suggestion is just one opinion or suggestion. It’s like “I” went “there” so to speak, and made some maps that might be useful. Might exopodite, clarify, give insight and even foresight. Might help things ‘click’ more readily. But the maps are like a finger pointing to a path. You could think of them as treasure maps, in that the bigger point therein isn’t the maps at all, and certainly isn’t me - but the treasure - and you are the treasure. You’re intuiting the significance of paradox. Another way to say that is, the significance of expanding the mind. A sign of a pre-paradox / pre-expanded mind is mentally ‘seeing’ something one way, and assuming the opposite way is not as true. ‘Holding’ meditation to be a habit, the purpose of which is results… is one way of ‘framing’ meditation. Thus it likely seems that following statement is ‘less true’… - ‘In honesty, it’s easy to let go of the belief that meditation is a habit at all, and that there is a separate self which benefits from anything at all, ever. It’s clear the ‘point’ of meditation is no longer believing in “results”. ‘ That second ‘view’ probably doesn’t sound very ‘true’. This is because it is still believed that there is such a ‘thing’ as ‘true thoughts’. This is because there is still the belief that there are, ‘things’. This is because its still believed that you, are a thing. That is due to believing thoughts. That is innocent and perfectly how it should be, because that is exactly how it is. So to speak, the mind likes to ‘cling’ to this view or that view and is reluctant to seeing that neither view is true. These ‘views’ are just thoughts. So really, the mind likes to cling to this thought or that thought, to believe this thought is true, but not that thought. Why? Because thoughts have been identified with, forming beliefs about who you are and what reality is. Meditation, and embracing paradox ‘brings about’ emotional and physiological equanimity, such that the mind is still and quiet, and ultimately thought attachment has been completely seen through, seen for what it is, and isn’t. Then you are seen (realized) for what you are not, and what you are. But these words are just more map. Don’t expect to “get it” or “grasp” anything here with such a busy assumptive attached mind. If what’s said here is grasped, gotten, received, heard - it’s in that what’s said here is then let go, disregarded… the map is dropped… as the path is begun. To ‘drive that home’, imagine someone is pointing to a path into the woods. Don’t stand there looking at the finger which is pointing. Turn the head & the feet toward the path and go into the woods to see what’s there directly, for yourself if you will. If you get lost af, and you will, it’s nice to refer back to maps, to ask questions to those who have already made the full circle of the journey. Which paradoxically, doesn’t even exist. Likewise, ultimately… neither paradox nor ultimately exist. Here’s some more ‘map’, just two cents, opinion or just what comes to mind so to speak, on the map; The Ten Ox Herder Pictures & the meditations offered which coincide… Begin at the beginning, explore each meditation. It would be less than ideal to meditate for a decade without any ‘breakthroughs’… only to come to realize that forgiveness (as one example) was what was most liberating. It’d be nice if there was a list of meditations you could have perused, because when you get to the forgiveness meditation, maybe you really feel something there, and resentment and confusion are transmuted by forgiveness, into understanding, clarity, compassion and feeling more alignment with betterment & well being. Are there ‘for you’ or ‘selfish’ ‘benefits’, hell yes there are, meditation will bring greater richness, fullness and enjoyment to the living of life. Is there a far greater implication, well hells yes there is, that being - there is no ‘separate self’ which ‘benefits’… that’s just the thought activity, beliefs, The Matrix (thought attachment), that there is… or ever was, that ‘you’. BASIC MEDITATION: POSTURE, BALANCE, RELAXATION, & BODY SCAN ALLOWING AWARENESS & MINDFULNESS THROUGHOUT THE DAY: EATING BASIC RELAXATION WALKING MINDFULNESS OF SOUND BODY-FEELING AWARENESS: Meditative eating, relaxation, walking, hearing, and feeling… is so profound words can not communicate it. Words (and type / text) can only point. That is how profound the actuality is. It’s literally ineffable. A pointing - you totally believe you have eaten, walked, relaxed, heard, and felt… and it’s a lie. You haven’t. You’ve only believed the thoughts, that you have. It’s, which is actually nothing, is that profound, and yet is the most obvious simplicity possible. POSTURE BODY SCAN BODY BREATH AWARENESS GROUNDING MENTAL & EMOTIONAL EQUANIMITY: Likewise, you’ve never even noticed your posture, your breath. You have zero notion of what it truly is to be grounded, and to enjoy simply being. You’ve never experienced mental and emotional equanimity. You’ve never tasted it. Speaking provocatively here obviously, to ‘draw out’ some sense of the relevance here. You’re thinking - yeah I have. And not hearing the truth - no you haven’t. AWARENESS OF THOUGHTS EQUANIMITY EMOTIONAL AWARENESS FORGIVENESS Much more so - you’ve never been aware of thoughts. You’ve been assuming you are your entire life. You’ve never forgiven anyone for anything, and you are filled with resentment, animosity and anger - and you haven’t the first clue that this is true. Even as you read these words now, your mind is projecting ever single discordant sensation onto a belief that there is a Phil, and that Phil is this or that. (SEE THE EMOTIONAL SCALE & EXPRESSIVE JOURNALING) ESSENCE OF BEING Essence of being is still some dumbass new age hippy dippy bullshit to you. You’ve no idea it points directly to truth, to bliss, to your entire life experience being very literally effortless & fruitful beyond measure. You’ve no idea that the difference between a shit life and a happy, prosperous joyful experience of life lies within these maps and these meditations. You can’t see this because you’re completely conditioned. All you care about is results, and thus you’re not experiencing hardly any results at all, because you’ve been completely and entirely so fucked over by collective conditioning - that you’ve suppressed this fact and are in complete denial of this. HAVING AN INNER SMILE LOVINGKINDNESS SEEING YOURSELF WITH LOVE This horseshit?! Forget about it. Fucking lame. Phil must be wired different, like a pussy basically, who believes in fairytales and wishful thinking. It’s probably his genetics and personality. Lucky guy. (SEE CONTEMPLATIONS) CONCENTRATION CONCENTRATION (SINGLE POINTEDNESS) (SEE THE EMOTIONAL SCALE & EXPRESSIVE JOURNALING & IMPROV WRITING & STREAMING) Then you ‘get to’ this point on the path, and because you inspected thoughts, A LOT of that suppressed anger etc came up & out - and in hindsight it is clearly seen you only eve fought against yourself. Not others. Not a world. Your fucking self! What a joke! In hindsight of having practiced, it’s so obvious there was never any “shortage” of focus, concentration and equanimity - there was just thought attachment, denial, delusion & suppression in the way, obstructing & obscuring the truth. “Shortage” was a belief! Lack was a belief! At this point, ‘on the path’ concentration, focus, effortlessness, equanimity and just flat out loving everything and everyone, without even trying to, which there isn’t at all and never was, is intrinsicolly blissful, every minute of every apparent day. BEYOND FUNDAMENTALS & FOUNDATION DO NOTHING SELF INQUIRY MANTRA At this point on the path you literally wake up laughing or crying everyday at how God damn beautiful it is that you can’t actually sleep, laugh or cry because there’s no you. (SEE THE IMMUTABLE LAWS) At this point ‘your’ so to speak, true nature, the truth of you, is unstoppable. There aren’t and never were physics, a reality, problems, tension or stress, because… - you’re it! Two words which mean absolutely nothing. That there were “results”, that there was a “life purpose”, is so funny you have to be careful to even bring it to mind less “you” be laughing, crying, in prostration.

What’s the point of going on a vacation?

@Blessed2 🙂 How bout boredom?

Awareness is only aware of awareness. But, not two. (The “of” could be mistaken to imply two awarenesses.)

Thank you’s! 🙂

@Zeroguy The reference was to the context it’s in… which is opposite to a suggestion to do drugs. (Eyeroll). Imo Geordie’s worth a second, third, and maybe even tenth glance. You and he might be saying the same thing. 🙂

@Blessed2 Pessimism doesn’t mean anything (in this usage). It just points to what’s felt, when certain thoughts are focused on. Again there’s no science to this, it’s not black & white, nobody’s really ‘knows’… I would agree that pessimism, frustration and irritation have a similar feel. In ‘black & whiting’ for the sake of communication, all three go in the ‘not great’ category. Would you agree with this distinction, in the vein of how it feels & what you’re experiencing… Thoughts about the past or present, which feel ‘not great’ = frustration, irritation, impatience. Thoughts about how it’ll go from here, about the future, which feel ‘not great’ = pessimism. Put another way, maybe… ‘I don’t particularly care for what happened or what’s happening’ = frustration, irritation, impatience. ‘I don’t particularly care for what’s going to happen’ = pessimism. ?

Would you agree, that thought / these thoughts… feel not great… as far as great, or not great? Can you feel and ‘see’.. the guidance of emotion, of pessimism, is in regard to, these thoughts…? And therefore what’s felt is, pessimism….?