Forza21

so there's nothing more to that, than our own story that this particular person is more imporant/special than others? and we can decide oterwise anytime? Could you please elaborate?

present is either with or without this person, i talk about romantic love. What is this bond between two people, what makes it special?

Every time In a relationship, when i say:” I love you”, deep down I don't really know what it means. And even worse, it feels slightly inauthentic because, in my experience, there is no such thing as love towards that one person, that specific person. Yes, there is emotional, psychological, sexual attraction, and desire. Yes, there are pleasant sensations. Yes, there are emotions and thoughts/ images about that person and how great it is that I'm with her. About things we share etc. But what is love towards that one person? Is it just a social construct? Is it a story we tell ourselves? Is it just an attachment? What do you really mean when you say, "I love you" without the concepts? And please drop the spiritual jargon about love being the realization of oneness, that lofty thing. Where do you find it in your direct experience? Why you say „i love you” only to your partner and not a homeless person on your street? Please put it simply. What is love to you? What do you mean when you say love? What do you mean when you say, "I love you"?

I wrote the exact topic about that. My thoughts after some time: What is divine? If you become something fully, is there something actually different/other/divine than you? How would you know the difference then?

it's true. Sometimes it's super obvious it's just "this". But i don't understand why so many people talk about awarness on the top of it, it's like adding something.

people often talk about awareness but honestly i highly resonate what's being said it this video ^. @Phil is that another "map is not the territory" thing? In direct experience there's no such thing as awareness apart from sound,sensations, perception, thought, smell, taste, right? So even to say "awarness is aware of thoughts" it's like adding something on top of experience. Bahiya sutra: "In the seen, there is only the seen, in the heard, there is only the heard, in the sensed, there is only the sensed, in the cognized, there is only the cognized. Thus you should see that indeed there is no thing here; this, Bahiya, is how you should train yourself. Since, Bahiya, there is for you in the seen, only the seen, in the heard, only the heard, in the sensed, only the sensed, in the cognized, only the cognized, and you see that there is no thing here, you will therefore see that indeed there is no thing there. As you see that there is no thing there, you will see that you are therefore located neither in the world of this, nor in the world of that, nor in any place between the two. This alone is the end of suffering."

Yes, seems legit. Just wanted to make sure you are not falling into trap of destroying ego. Its ego that wants to destroy ego and its biggest ego trip ever. 😂

But who is this "me" that "saw" this "ego" ? isn't getting rid of ego another ingenious ego trick? isn't "seeing through ego" another ingenious ego trick? is there anything in the first place?

Solipsism was my biggest terror, it took me 1 year to get rid of fear around it. @Phil and this forum was a great aid , and daily meditation did a trick.☺️ and its just as you say, as you start to touch unreality of „you” this fear around being all alone is gone for the most part. solipsism is 100% thoughts idea, belief, although very sticky one, because it glues to emotion of fear easly. And emotions keep thoughts alive longer. right now for its like „oh solipsistic thought…” and puff its gone 🙂 great post.

Hello! if it comes to dream board, is it important to acknowledge if desires come from *soul/truth/god/love/divine-expression*, whatever you want to call it, or from the sense of separated self?(therefore from the sense of lack?) my "gut" tells me it is. For example, if before putting something on dream-board i ask myself this question: Is there a feeling that if I get this I'll be happier and more complete than I am right now? if the answer is "yes" it comes from a sense of lack. it's not that it's bad or anything, but it's ego driven desire, and i know for sure, it won't bring me long-lasting satisfaction, because it comes from a illusion, that i am not whole or complete at this very moment. The problem is, i don't see any desires that bring me a real sense of joy, and satisfaction, and are beneficial to others. I don't see my soul-purpose just yet. I know that helping people, love itd. is the way, but i know it intellectually, i am not fully feeling it yet. So should i go with fulfilling ego desires? or shall i discover my real soul-purpose? and how?

For those who don't believe in emotional guidance and intuition... Just try for one day, putting aside your doubt-mass-of-a-mind, and listen to what your emotions say. @Phil is really, really right about it. Today, i've done it. i've talked to people how i really feel. No hiding, straight forward expression. i've done things i felt like doing. i've disagreed with people when i felt like doing so, instead of "usual" people-pleasing. Result? It is amazing. Some people got angry at me. They shouted. They didn't expect that. BUT i felt like i had literally infinite capacity to handle that. I felt like a manifestation of unending peace in the midst of a storm. It felt JUST RIGHT. It felt like i was really connected and aligned. I just knew it is the right thing to do. Even if whole world was against me, it wouldn't make a difference, i just FELT like I AM IN PERFECT PLACE. And... they stopped. They started to listen. They started to open their-minds for a diffrent few. In the end, they even thanked me and hugged me. Unconditional infinite love is guiding this dance-of-a-life all the time. We just have to listen. Please try it! Thank you Phil ❤️ you are the most loving guy i have ever met. ❤️

You are so right. and honestly, i finally start to cut through doubt-mass of my mind, and experience my intuition. Feelings are there all the time, guidance is felt… it is so perfect and simple, i cant Thank you enough for your work. ❤️❤️❤️🙏

❤️ I am so happy that it worked for you. if it comes what she's gonna feel - i don't want hurt her, or make her sad, and she might feel sadness, loneliness, abandonment, grief... i feel just bad for her, because she's far more compassionate or loving than i am, and she deserves better, than being left alone like that. It's like my desires are bad, because it's gonna make her feel bad.

it feels like monogamy is against my nature. How you deal with that in your relationship? she s not ok with my traveling solo either. Its because she cant right now (she needs to stay in one place because of job) and i can. And shes gonna feel like i am leaving her and having fun.

I am 100% honest with myself and her, i told her exactly that. And its been one year since i still have this in my mind. She is not okey with my desires, so i am not doing it. But i didnt choose it either. Hence The conflict. Trust me, authenthicity is The main goal for me… i dont know, it feels like monogamy is against my nature. How you deal with that in your relationship?