In for Tea (unclaimed journal)

[Mandy]

Apparently it feels awful to listen to yourself (or read yourself) when you're in the Vortex but out of the Vortex while reviewing. "Cringe" even.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[spiritual dreams]

I spent a year desperately hoping for my life to change, now its changing too quickly and I'm scared😂

[Mandy]

It's like the magician put on a fantastic show, and now is time for the grand finale. His timing was perfect for the entire thing, everything went seamlessly. Now for the final act, he made himself disappear in spectacular fashion and everyone is waiting for him with baited breath to appear again with a bang and close the show. There's anxiety and tension. He's waited a little too long, the excitement builds. "Is something wrong" they think? No one wants to voice how uncomfortable they are. 

 

They wait and wait. 

 

"Do we go home now? " they ask without voicing it. They start to glance around at other's looking for reaction they can follow. 

 

The ultimate disappearing act does not end with thunderous applause. It does not end with closing the loop. There is no reveal, there is no conclusion. There is no resolution. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Mandy]

What's in it for you? 

 

What do you possibly gain by being self deprecating?

 

___________________________________________

 

On my way to the  bathroom at Walmart ( I don't know) it hit me that words are not thoughts, words are a thought. Thoughts are not words. Words get all the blame but they are innocent. Thoughts are too, but right now we're clearing the name of words. In the Beginning there was the Word. Your thoughts need not be expressed in words. If they are expressed in words, sense perception is involved. The third eye, or the third ear, (sounds dumb but carry on) make no difference if the sound is made to awareness. If the tree falls in the woods, does it make a sound? if you have  backstreet boy song stuck in your head, does it make it a sound? YOU hear it, you're the only one to hear it. 

 

So here's the thing. Words are manifestations. If a thought has manifested into words, it has indeed manifested. Once you have expressed or manifested something into words, you hear it the very same as anyone else. Those words, those thoughts belong to no one. 

 

That's why you are already, always listening to yourself with total openness. You're already the shrink in the armchair. You don't give a shit, those aren't your thoughts. They have nothing to do with you. Your client might project them on you, you've seen this a million times, you're ready for it. It's nothing to you. You're the client and the shrink and the neither. There ain't two, and there ain't no separate you.

 

 

 

 

[Mandy]

 

Is woke/liberal/feminist views in society damaging to men, women and children? Without breaking down the words I used in that sentence like a nondual hardass, (ohh.. the temptation), the idea that the liberal point of view is "higher" or more evolved is false. The view that the old way of doing things was superior, or right all along and that then we went astray is false. What are we left with? 

 

 EVERYBODY LOVE EVERYBODY. 

 

I listened to YouTube video conversations where conservative women claimed to love and honor men as their greatest ideal but actually were deprecating them unknowingly. I listened to liberal youtube video in which a man claimed that being male was a mental illness. And somehow forgetting the most disturbing points that stand out, all these people are saying things that are worth listening to. They highlight differences, which don't exist in actuality, but do exist in contrast for the purpose of visibility. The road is so much easier to drive faster now that the fog lines are painted. The differences only are awareness, by awareness, for awareness, made of awareness never becoming anything but awareness. 

 

 

 

If it wasn't about selves, if it wasn't about what was right in exclusion of what is wrong, we could just listen, and we could just love. 

 

Listen. Give. 

 

I want to see the light in the center of everyone's being again, with complete absence of judgment, so clearly. Unlike the candles on the cake, there aren't two. 

 

 

[Jonas Long]

@Mandy you don't agree that identifying as a male is a mental illness?  Isn't identifying as anything a pathology? 

[Mandy]

 

 

[Mandy]

@Jonas LongWell, I think pathology is a pathology. 😆A pathology is a study of disease or a "study of suffering", but works on the basis of identifying what said disease or source of suffering is. But yes identification/belief can perpetuate suffering. However, it was implied in the video that identifying as female was not a mental illness whereas being male and under the influence of male hormones is. Statistics and beliefs seem important when you don't take responsibility for what you yourself focus on and attract. 

[Mandy]

Last night I was reading the kids a Diary of a Whimpy Kid book I came across this page and laughed so hard I cried. It's as if someone just spoke the damn truth about something sacred you weren't allowed to touch. (The link preview is showing the wrong tweet first 😂) 

 

 

 

It's never the characters we fear but the Author. 

 

 

[Orb]

@Mandy lmaoooo!!! when i was a kid my mom gave me the giving tree book and my grandma always said she was creeped out by the authors face on the back cover. 

[Mandy]

14 minutes ago, Orb said:

@Mandy lmaoooo!!! when i was a kid my mom gave me the giving tree book and my grandma always said she was creeped out by the authors face on the back cover. 

I KNOW! I have no idea why they used that photo. 

[Mandy]

No one listens. 

 

That's right, No One listens. 

 

Clicks random song on youtube. 

 

"They say that youth is wasted on the wild ones, and wisdom is wasted on those who no longer need it."

 

Seems like a wise statement, except isn't it wild that there aren't ones, those or waste? 

 

 

 

[Mandy]

It's like thought tries to make into a thing that's two dimensional what isn't dimensional. The color wheel for example is a limited fiction for an artist, yet, on occasion quite helpful. Being an artist is creating your own color wheel. You can say screw you and your cadmium red classic color wheel, magenta is a primary color, not red. If there was such a thing as a color, you wouldn't have to be careful picking a paint chip, because the light in the room would be no factor of consideration. Everyone is creating their own colorwheel but you can't claim that one is a lie and one is truth, because all you have is at best a selected cross-section of what's a an infinite unbounded "sphere". You can't have two dimensions. If you tell someone there's no such thing as a two dimensional color wheel, because color is actually an infinite borderless "sphere", it's not that you're attempting to take the tool away from them, but dispelling the illusion that the tool is separate from the art and therefore, that there are things that are true, inherent, fixed and outside the bounds of one's creativity. All limitations are only ever made up of creation/boundless infinity.

 

I found this recently, which is a cartoon, a caricature, a tool, and a work of art. Also potentially very helpful to get on one's way to creating what you like. 

 

[Orb]

@Mandy that model is really good!!

[Mandy]

 

I think what isn't talked about much is the sense, (not anyone's fault) that there are advancements. That Rupert really isn't saying YES, it's a powerful tool. You will never advance from anything. It's just that what you really are doesn't have to DO with anything, isn't subject to anything, isn't the beneficiary of anything. 

[Mandy]

Disney love. 🙂

 

[Mandy]

If a tree falls in the woods and everyone is standing in a crowd talking too loud to notice it, does it make a sound? 

 

(Maybe there's something wrong with me) For God's sake, there is with everyone. You get nothing. The Mystery remains. Even karma is a fiction. The crowd is symbolic. Who said it was all analogy?

 

I just wanna dance right here, on this pin. This pointless point. 

 

Somehow the entire weight of grief, the entire weight of the planet floats in space, weightless. The weightless overcomes and surrounds and upholds and holds down, the weight of the world. A place of unimaginable, unspeakable horrors, but who could know that? The Mystery lived happily ever after.  

 

Something feels off still? 

 

Maybe you could "pin "it down. 

 

I don't want to squash any angels today though. 

 

What would the body count be, if you squashed them all? 

 

0

 

🙂

 

That's not an excuse to squash angels. I'm stuck here. 

 

 

Oh, it's thoughts. It's the crowd. "I am Legion, for we are many."  It's a tennis match. Vibration. I want to slap them awake. THIS COULD BE SOMETHING ELSE.

 

Could it? 

 

You didn't do this to Jesus, did you? 

 

Do you really want to go there?  I mean you're kind of already there, but...

 

Oh. Right. Interesting, projecting the doer on the Sourceless Source. It's so INTERESTING! The seasonal despair and depression, is just... the feels. A call home. 

 

 

Hoo! That hits different. 

 

How do you realize you're a wizard in a world of muggles and not become a narcissist? Do we deny that they are muggles? Do we deny that we are magic? 

 

There's no Harry Potter. There's no Hogwarts. There's no Voldemort. 

 

IT'S SIMPLY TOO OBVIOUS. IT CANNOT BE.

 

Right. 

 

I need assurance. 

 

Nothing can be secured. 

 

To whom does this benefit? Simultaneously the worst and the best question to ask. 

 

 

[Orb]

I just noticed the word isolation has a huge hint that points to the suffering. 

 

I-solation. It's all about I, all about me. 

[Mandy]

@Orb Yeah, that's really good! 

 

 

[Mandy]

This scene is very similar, and arguably even better than the origin story of woman or "other". 😂