In for Tea (unclaimed journal)

[Mandy]

Does it seem mundane because we're going too fast? This big heavy ball of earth, hurdling through space yet it seems to just stay still like a dead weight. Mundane. So because stillness is too uncomfortable we make chaos. We're so good at making chaos. 

https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=chaos

 

THAT was unexpected. 

[Mandy]

The clown car of materialism. 

 

It's never gonna be enough, because it's never gonna be enough. 

 

 

[Mandy]

AHHHH I WILL NOT BE TAMED!!!! 

 

Oh that's what you want. 

 

Oh. 

 

Oh... 

 

Well who am I fighting then? 

 

________________________________

 

I'm sorry about your 3.5 star rating Bill, they would call you Neo Advaitan if they knew the word. https://www.amazon.com/Mysteries-Bill-Watterson/dp/1524884944/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3Q8WXSH1E2Z4Z&keywords=bill+watterson+the+mysteries&qid=1697843023&sprefix=bill+waterson+t%2Caps%2C132&sr=8-1

 

"I turned the pages, but NOTHING happened." 

 

BRILLIANT. BRILLIANT! ENCORE! WHO WRITES THIS STUFF? 

 

 

[Jonas Long]

On 10/15/2023 at 6:56 AM, Mandy said:

This scene is very similar, and arguably even better than the origin story of woman or "other". 😂

 

 

always liked this one

O

[Mandy]

@Jonas Long That's awesome. 

[Jonas Long]

27 minutes ago, Mandy said:

@Jonas Long That's awesome. 

The movie is really good, if you haven't seen it 

[Mandy]

@Jonas Long Never heard of it before now. 

[Mandy]

We think the location that thought occurs is the highest point of "us". 😂

 

No relationship the the last thing... It seems like it is because it IS. In other words, it seems like "this" current thought is true, like it has reality, because THIS. Another way of saying that the thoughts is made up of the same awareness are Rupert Spira would say. The presence is borrowed from, or only ever IS presence. It's always a call home from only ever right here. 

[Mandy]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mumbo_jumbo_(phrase)#:~:text=Mumbo Jumbo is a West,to a West African god.

 

It's a weird, weird world. 

 

"There's a sign on the wall, but she wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings

In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven"

[Mandy]

In this (timestamped comment) the Doctor doesn't realize that he's talking 100% about himself, not the girl.

 

You can apparently share sections of a brain, or any part of the body with another person. "Birth" "defects", organ and limb, and face transplants, disabilities including physical or mental really challenge the idea of self because all it is based upon is body identity. The idea of the separation of the body, of definition of the body defining the self, particularly the brain. People are struck by intense curiosity and horror by these things, but it is not on behalf of the "impaired" or "afflicted" it is on their own behalf, an intense fear (also yet predominately desire) of loss of defining identification. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[spiritual dreams]

I'm feeling pretty shitty. There's just a low grade anxiety about my work, relationships and future. I really don't know what's going to happen to me. 

[Mandy]

@spiritual dreams I don't know what's gonna happen to me either! 😁 

 

 

[spiritual dreams]

@Mandy omg kasbo!

[Mandy]

 

"If you decide to make someone the enemy and you’re pushing very hard against them, you don’t affect them at all but you disconnect yourself from the Stream. If someone cheats you, they cannot diminish your experience. They only diminish their experience. You cannot be diminished by someone cheating you unless you get all upset about being cheated and push against them and use that as your excuse to disconnect from the Stream." -Esther Hicks

[Mandy]

Last night I dreamed that I was at a circus, and my kids went with their school and they were dressed all in costumes and after I found where they were,  I couldn't find a seat. I found one but it was facing backwards, so facing the audience instead of the show. So I went up front where some people were sitting cross legged and I sat with them but I had these huge sheets of drawing paper with me and they pointed to them like that was against the rules, and I felt really awkward like I was somewhere I shouldn't be allowed, but had a front row seat to everything. But the show totally sucked, it made no sense, then I started getting cold sitting there and so I moved away from the show completely and started writing in a notebook. My sister in law that is always very successful and responsible on a surface level in life, (clean home, good cook, lots of time for her kids, financially very successful) pointed and said she was doing the same thing, she had the same notebook, and was also sitting out the show to just write in it, and it was the same exact purple floral notebook that I write my sales in for my business. Then after I couldn't see the show anymore because I was completely behind the audience now, from what I could hear it sounded like it had gotten much better. 

[Mandy]

Funny that the off days, the low times of year, colds, hormone changes, all emotions still occur but they are much more predominantly cathartic instead of resulting in a ridiculous spectacle of suffering and trying to get out of the situation in a way that isn't making any sense. 

 

From the outside you're a cat stuck in an empty chip bag, but from the inside it's a very dire situation. From the outside if you just laugh at the cat without understanding what it's going through, you're not gonna have any idea what to do when your head is stuck in the chip bag, and if you take the opposite approach of being terrified that the cat will suffocate, you too will be as ineffective as the cat in removing the bag, you might as well just be the cat. You can't be either outside or inside the empty chip bag.  😐

 

I'm sick of chasing cats around with their heads stuck in chip bags. I'm sick of the circus not making any sense and also not being fun. I don't just want to watch it, I want to create something. Source is saying that creating and observing aren't different. That the notebook and the diligence, the scary confronting front row "not a seat" and the big blank drawing paper that's so big it gets in other people's way, and watching the audience aren't separate things. 

 

If anyone knows of a good program and tablet to start drawing digitally, please let me know. 

[Mandy]

It's better to just make jokes and analogies and create some broad thing for everyone and no one and be like "here, that's what I created" than to help specific people. Don't mind me, don't believe me, I'm just trying this assertion on like I'd try on different hats. 

 

The "better" part is not becoming. 

 

Maybe it's just the hat that I wear today, and tomorrow, will be a different one. 

 

There may be an expectation of results and improvement that is getting in the way. 

 

 

Source is bringing up Christian music from childhood in response to this hat discussion. 

 

I've been to the party and I left alone

And I've danced with a few that I'd be better off on my own
I've been to the altar and I know I kneeled
But I ended up dancing in the grass of another field
Then someone told me I heard someone say

Dance with the one who brung ya
Dance with the one you know who got you there
Dance with the one who brung ya
Don't change hats, you know it's the one you wear
My feet start moving down inside my shoes

But I don't want to settle for the beat of a lonely blues
And there's no use dancin' to a different drum
When I've seen what happens and I know what will become
I can testify it's never worth a try
Dance with the one who brung ya

Dance with the one you know who got you there
Dance with the one who brung ya
Don't change hats, you know it's the one you wear
I looked high, I looked low

You're never gonna find someone who loves you so
Stand tall, stand strong
You're only gonna see you're right where you belong
Dance Dance
Don't try to fix what has never been broke
Dance with the one who brung ya
Dance with the one you know who got you there
Dance with the one who brung ya
Don't change hats, you know it's the one you wear
Dance with the one who brung ya
Dance with the one you know who got you there
Dance with the one who brung ya
Don't change hats, you know it's the one you wear
Dance Dance Dance
Dance with the one who brung ya
Dance Dance Dance
Don't change hats, you know it's the one you wear

 

[Mandy]

I guess I wasn't born wearing a hat. 

 

The character has a magician's hat though. But the magic eludes him. 

[Mandy]

Hats off to you sir. 

 

[Mandy]

 

Oh no. It's a hat. 

 

In high school I had a very long bus ride and I had a CD player and man, that thing ate through batteries. The bus driver really loved country music, and I HATED IT my entire life. It stood for everything I hated, everything I thought I was not but what everyone around me seemed to be. We used to listen to it in the car, but mom called at least some of it "emotional pornography" which is something I always wondered about. Can there be emotional pornography, are stories, emotional pornography? Some point after two years of hours of being exposed country music, something snapped. I think it might have been a Tanya Tucker song, or maybe it was Stockholm syndrome. And ever since then, I can find in my heart a love for country music. 😐

 

Not country music, but tell me how is it that Bob Marley who sang, "don't worry, be happy" died of a melanoma on his big toe that he refused to treat? Is this whole thing a reeeally bad joke? Emotional pornography? WHO WRITES THIS? George R R Martin, your utter bullshit still haunts me. Wrote what couldn't be turned into a TV show to get it out of his system, turned into a TV show. There's nothing to be found in it. No happy ending. No ending at all. 

 

It was turned into a TV show though. And no one liked the ending. 😂 Ok. It's kinda funny.

 

The song has even more of a message. It's unconditional. It's not going to end. 

 

I REQUIRE that you tie it all up with a pretty bow. 

 

require (v.)

late 14c., requeren, "to ask (someone) a question, inquire," a sense now obsolete, from Old French requerre, requerir "seek, procure; beg, ask, petition; demand," from Vulgar Latin *requaerere, from Latin requirere "seek to know, ask, ask for (something needed)," from re-, here perhaps meaning "repeatedly" (see re-), + quaerere "ask, seek" (see query (v.)). In some later English senses probably directly from Latin.

Still in 16c.-17c. commonly "to ask or request (to have or do something)," but this original sense of the word has been taken over by request (v.).

Also from late 14c. as "to stand in need of, want; to need for some end or purpose." The sense of "demand that (someone) do (something)" is from 1751, via the notion of "to ask for imperatively, or as a right" (late 14c.). The meaning "demand as necessary or essential on general principles" is from early 15c. Related: Required; requiring.

 

If you'd just go back to the Origin, instead of demanding a happy ending. Have you found the beginning, that you can find the end? 

 

Surrender, surrender, surrender. That's all you want. I feel like a housewife in the 1950's. Here's your fucking jello salad with a smile and red lipstick, you piece of shit. 

 

"Asking" you to surrender the thoughts of powerlessness. 

 

Oh.

 

 

 

Good, cause I'm not making you a jello salad.