In for Tea (unclaimed journal)

[Mandy]

For whomever and whatever wants expressing. 

 

For explanation about the tea reference cause I just had a huge "AHA" moment about this... https://medium.com/@gabbygarcia/inviting-mara-to-tea-725c73c9954c

[spiritual dreams]

some tea would be very nice actually

[Mandy]

4 hours ago, the system made me said:

Hey Mandy, in Douglas Adams' book 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' the answer to everything is '42'. Douglas Adams only told a few people why that was the answer. My guess was 'four tea two' people. 

Ah, I love it! 😂❤️

 

@spiritual dreams What kind? 

[spiritual dreams]

@Mandy usually  green tea or matcha

[Mandy]

Lemon balm and rose petals, made a really nice tea. Dog wants to go out. 

 

[Mandy]

I feel the feels.

 

But you need to work.

 

But I feel the feels.

 

But you need to work. 

 

This is not an either/or. I should make that video.

 

But I need to work. 

 

Ok, path of least resistance, 

 

I"LL DO IT AND I'LL ENJOY IT. 

 

 

[Mandy]

😊 Whose happiness is it really?

 

 

 

 

 

[spiritual dreams]

I've come to the realisation that if I don't heal certain parts of myself, I will die alone and miserable.

On the bright side, I am quite good at healing now so best to get cracking...

[Mandy]

Awakening be like... 

 

[Mandy]

You go around saying "SO AND SO IS NOT AWAKE!" and there's power in that because they aren't. No one is. There's power in killing heroes and melting down golden idols. But if the implication and assumption is that the speaker or the one who knows more than so and so is in fact awake in exclusion of Ramana, Buddha, Big Bird, etc, then you're just playing belief whack-a-mole. This could apparently go on for a long time of ridiculousness. 

 

Others being awake is a huge excuse to continue being shitty to yourself. 

 

You are the mole.

 

and the hammer. 

 

Mediation would make a lot of sense. "oh! A mole. I am not the mole, I'm the sky in which it momentarily moles." "Wow, that's a lot of moles. OMG that thought about a lot of moles and me being problematic for having a lot of moles was just another mole! OMFG THERE'S JUST THIS MOLE." 

 

Momentarily peace and silence that pierces reality, until the two collapse. 

 

But they need me. This needs to be done. 

 

BUT I HAVE THE BIGGEST MALLET, I HAVE THE MOST MOLES, NO ONE HAS EVER WHACKED AS MANY MOLES AS ME ALIEN MOUSE MOLES IN UFOS I WHACK THEM ALL OTHER MOLE WHACKERS ARE NOT AWAKE. THEY HAVE NOT WHACKED SO MANY MOLES.

 

But there's just the mole. 

 

Nothing needs to be done. 

 

 

 

[Loop]

@Mandy

 

❤️ Best post ⭐️

 

Can we feature what you just posted on the front of the forum? 
 

☺️

 

[spiritual dreams]

something doesn't feel right. I can't put my finger on it but its so obvious that something is wrong. In fact I haven't felt right in a while. Am I supposed to just keep living like this? feeling wrong for the rest of my life? 

Is it my lack of friends? time away from family? my new job? moving to a new city? lack of exercise and shitty diet? Not enough meditation?

I don't think its any of these. It feels like something deeper. Like something within me is missing. I'm too aware now to believe that sex, relationships, drugs, partying, and chasing success is going to fill this void. It's almost like I'm disconnected from my intrinsic being. Like my true self isn't really there.

[WhiteOwl]

On 7/12/2023 at 12:28 AM, spiritual dreams said:

Is it my lack of friends? time away from family? my new job? moving to a new city? lack of exercise and shitty diet? Not enough meditation?

 

Dont project onto the feeling. Feel it and let it be. Its a huge bluff. Look directly into it

[Mandy]

Feels like a tiger chasing me, could let it just catch up, cause I am the tiger.

 

 

"There's something happening somewhere."  

 

Let the ok times roll.  😂😂😂

 

"You sit around gettin' older
There's a joke here somewhere and it's on me
I'll shake this world off my shoulders
Come on, baby, the laugh's on me"

 

 

 

[Phil]

♥️♥️♥️

You can’t start a fire without a spark, like you can’t be experience without a void. The void isn’t for filling, it’s for creating. 

Of course a nondualist ball buster would point out there isn’t really therein “a void” at all but whatevs. 

Does sound like a good video though. 😂 

[Mandy]

@Phil 👊❤️

 

 

[Mandy]

"A riot, suggesting
Alone I'm protesting
There's no one here standing
No loopholes, no branding"

 

 

 

 

"I don't get it." "I can't get The Power of Now or anything by Eckhart Tolle" 

 

What your misunderstanding was that there's something to get. What you misunderstood was that it's someone's responsibility to skillfully explain it to you. This is just art. You like it? Awesome. You don't? Find something you do. It's not anyone's responsibility to create anything that resonates with you. It's the Power of NOW, not the power of Eckhart Tolle. Jesus Christ, the teacher worship and hatred became so extreme, our expletives are even examples of them. 

 

 

 

[Mandy]

 

 

The lights go out and I can't be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
Have brought me down upon my knees
Oh, I beg, I beg and plead
Singin' come out of things un said
Shoot an apple off my head
And a trouble that can't be named
A tiger's waiting to be tamed, singin'

You are
You are

Confusion that never stops
Closing walls and ticking clocks
Gonna come back and take you home
I could not stop that you now know
Singin' come out upon my seas
Cursed missed opportunities
Am I a part of the cure
Or am I part of the disease? Singin'

You are
You are
You are
You are

You are
You are

And nothing else compares
Oh, no, nothing else compares
And nothing else compares

You are
You are

Home, home, where I wanted to go
Home, home, where I wanted to go
Home, home, where I wanted to go
Home, home, where I wanted to go

 

It's not an ox, it's a tiger. Got the tiger by the tail. 😂

[Mandy]

Power is impotence. 

 

(I want to make something beautiful. )

 

I started a painting a couple weeks ago but the paint tray looked prettier than the canvas. It's unfinished. Who knows if I'll ever finish it. 

 

(I'm not feeling it.) 

 

What's it? 

 

Yeah. That's a good point. 

 

(Come on give a little more, this is too bleh, too gray.)

 

It's flowers growing up through the floorboards.

 

It's hopeless. 

 

Some kid knocked on my door to see my son and I let him in and forgot his throw pillow he got for free at the yard sale. He left it perfectly positioned on my couch. How odd. He forgot his water bottle the last time. 😆

 

They grow up so fast. And so obnoxiously slow. 

 

(It's impatience.) 

 

"My mirror disappoints me, yeah, am I the only one?" 

 

Alright I have a symbolic psyche thing going on with tall men. Heights. Why won't she grow up. Sit up. Stand up? Why hasn't is happened by now? 

 

It's flowers growing up through the floorboards. You can play with fire, you can stand tall, but do you know how to dance? 

 

"Don't be afraid, it's all a show."

 

What if it's on me? 

 

"You sit around gettin' older
There's a joke here somewhere and it's on me
I'll shake this world off my shoulders
Come on, baby, the laugh's on me"

 

The laugh's a gift. Free and clear. Paid for. Apple tree don't care if it's apples fall and rot or what eats them. It's makes them all the same. 

 

I DEMAND APPLAUSE BEFORE I SING. BEFORE I DANCE. I want to dance. cool. THIS DREAM BOARDS FULL OF SHIT I ALREADY GOT. Alright, wrote "dance." 

 

You're too cool and I don't like it. That guy selling enameled cast iron pans. Jesus Christ. Him too. Just stop. Stop being awesome universe, enough, I've had enough. 

 

Ok I lied. 

 

(Oh if only they knew what it took! What it takes!) 

 

The jokes on me. 

 

DO YOU have what it takes?

 

No, but  I can pull it out of my sleeve like a magician when necessary. 

 

I don't want to forge a trail, this is bullshit. I don't have any idea where I'm going. I don't have enough support or guidance for this.

 

Light is the guidance and requires no support. (I love how source used boobs as the path of least resistance to bring me that insight.) Damn good insight though. 

 

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, YOU.... 

 

There are no loops to close. Everyone wants to close the loop. But there is no need to close the loop. There are no safe areas, it's not a game of SORRY... NO ONE IS SORRY. SORRY NOT SORRY. There's no around the board. There's no collecting 200. 

 

(I let them get in my head.)

You whore.

 

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, YOU WHORE!

 

Alright, I'm seeing the light. I see the beauty and wonder and majesty and so where do I want to go? 

 

The same thing he does, which you claim he already has. DON'T YOU SEE YOU ALREADY HAVE IT? That 200$ is just paper. It goes back in the box when you're done. 

 

 

Synchronicity, hello. 

 

DAMN YOU SENSE OF SEPERATION. LOOK WHAT YOU DID! Look. 

 

"Sense of separation" lol You'll be waiting a while. No wonder you're impatient. 

 

What we think we ought to hide is exactly what they want to see. 

 

Why am I attracting paper planes? 

 

 

Throwing seriousness away. I dunno. It's some random yard sale throw pillow a kid left on the couch. Who knows where it came from? Maybe it doesn't all fit together, maybe it's forever scattered, maybe they really never put humpty dumpty back together again. 

 

I was really banking on that. With all my monopoly money.

 

What did you want to say? 

 

I wanted to say that there isn't one. That the reason we're individuals, and unique is because we are never, ever, ever one. Because we can't be divided, in-divide -dual. Sameness is an attempt that requires two, but you can't have two because you can't have one. 

 

That give/receive stuff always hits me. 

 

 

I'm just sitting here, waiting for the loop to close. The perfect closing line with all the feels. I'm throwing paper planes, I'm throwing boomerangs. 

 

SMACK. 

 

 

 

[Mandy]

 

Oh. And there's no changing the world cause there ain't one. 

 

Alright and the person?

 

Yep. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, you....  What am I to do with my talents? My dollar bills, ya'll? 

 

Paper planes and boomerangs.