MazE

Arrogance as i understand it comes from a positive feedback. You are doing good compared to others. This boosts the ego that wants to feel big. You are above someone else in something. I also believe that humility really is close to the meaning of humiliation. Let's say there is a boxer that always wins. He becomes arrogant. One day he takes only one punch in a match and it's a knockout. This was humiliating. He is still as good as before but he is not arrogant anymore. He continues his training but this time with humility. No woman likes someone with arrogance that has nothing to back it up. Of course if he can back it up then it's another case. Still someone with humility that doesn't need to be arrogant but could be because he can back it up is more attractive. I believe that humility comes from experience. Maybe it's just the evolution of arrogance. It starts with arrogance but inevitably you will take the blows and develop humility. Still humility feels like having an element of weakness. Humility could just be the lack of arrogance. One that has humility could either be weak or very strong. I believe there are 2 kinds of humility. What comes to mind is Harry Mack. He is amazing at freestyling. He doesn't come off as arrogant to me. He seems like he has humility. Still he is one of the best. The process and the grind to become so good at this developed his humility. I feel that there is no energy left to feel arrogant after such a journey. You just have a different vibe. The vibe of a newbie is arrogance. The vibe of a master is humility. This is what i think about it.

@Alexander i just try to remember that they are suffering too and that it has nothing to do with me. When i react on it i always regret it. I had 2 crazy mothers. I'm like a master on not getting triggered but i do react sometimes too. You know the feeling of wanting to punch somebody because he or she asks for it? (I don't punch people) There is a skill of letting this feeling go. I'm not saying that it's easy but it's always an option and a skill that can be developed.

I love your whole post. Very eye opening. It seems that i am in hell as you described it because i believe that i can change it and i am in the mode of fighting against it but i could surrender to this mode of fighting also! The way i understand what you said one should relax into decidership and doership. Is this what you meant? If you want to change a situation you do need to make a plan, to take decisions and to do stuff. All this starts from negative emotions and the resistance about the current situation. But in the end it's just routine. You decided you want to change things? Then do the things that need to get done without resistance like brushing your teeth. It just need to get done it will suck but no big deal. No need to believe in hell or create hell by believing in it. Just brush your teeth. Edit: or maybe i'm in a loop that i need to get out of. That loop is the hell. I want results. To get the results i need to take action. Maybe i should learn to relax instead and then the actions will come effortlessly. The resistance of what is is definitely hell. I'm stuck in this frame of thinking even though it seems like working. It doesn't.

Working out is necessary for a good life. Reading books is fun. Anyone has the time to read a bit everyday. I practice listening as good as i can when talking to people. I learned that there are different kinds of people. Oversimplification but they fall into 4 categories that can mix with each other. " Communication happens to the listeners terms". Something like that was the quote but i need to keep that in mind. I want to learn how to become a better communicator. I have to practice. It's more important than i thought it is. There are some people that know everybody and almost everyone likes them. I'm not like that. Most people annoy me. But again it's just that there are different categories of people. Some people are born with charisma and being social. I was born with different positive traits but everyone has something. That's the point. I work in shifts. They change all the time. It's certainly not healthy. Many people there seem 10 years older than they are. That's why i cannot not get rich. It's not an option. I'm sacrificing health for cash. I'm doing what i can to balance this out by going to the gym for example. I cannot journal like this offline. It just doesn't work. Hopefully i will elevate a bit with time and i will develop an interest in spirituality again. But it's not the same for everyone. I talk the way i talk sometimes because i fight everyday. I don't have a desk job neither do i want one. I can't be talking about rainbows and butterflies when i run maybe half a marathon/day or night at work. Anger is my fuel. Not in a bad way anymore. I mean the only reason i can do such jobs very well is because i use my anger. It's just a tool i use to get paid. It doesn't run out. People may have completely different worldviews than me. They may believe in things that i find so stupid that i get angry. Usually i open my mouth because i can't stand it. What do i get from this? Nothing. Just some emotional relief but then what happens is that i possibly made an enemy or at least someone will dislike me or think that i'm weird. On the other hand i hate not telling things exactly as i believe they are. Communication happens on the listeners terms. How open are they to listen? How do i go about talking about something with someone and how likely is that they will listen? Everyone wants to be right all the time and there is no communication. Unless you prepared the ground for them to listen. Aha. I liked that.

My thoughts are just noise sometimes. Just trying to survive. Working so hard to wake up in a plastic world that i don't like. I do have things to be grateful for. Also things that i lack but trying to get. Being selfish gets things done. It's hard to take responsibility for things that i don't truly believe were my fault. There are outside forces that controlled and are still controlling my life in one way or another. This is exactly why i want to get rich. For the freedom. They make the rules and i have no other option but to follow them. I've lost so many years just to become a robot. The truth is that i didn't have any other option. Others had more fun. Others had an easier life. Others are happier. Others this others that. Why do i habitually compare myself to others? I know that all of this is bs. But not unecessary. There needs to be a balance in everything. And so the years pass by. Not knowing where to go and where i belong. Obstacles everywhere. People that can't take care of themselves. Brain dead laws and bureaucracy that i don't even want to think about. Idiotic systems. Dopamine addictions that are exactly like chains for everyone. Looking at screens all day. Robots. Always waiting for something. Always wasting time. Society that is controlled by the media. Morons. Following religions. Bringing kids to this world without being able to raise them right. Morons. Everyone is stupid at something or at some level always but the majority of people are beyond stupid. Programmed. Following stupid rules. Modern slaves. People that wait for green at night with zero traffic to cross the road. People that ask for permission to go to the toilet. People that destroy their health everyday because they have nothing better to do. Social media. Girls that turn to objects because it's normal. Destroyed relationships. People that believe they have some power by voting. Money that buys only half the stuff from 5 years ago.

So I've logged in here again. It's a place that feels safe and supportive. I live in a constant grind. Only a few people would survive the kind of jobs that i go to night in night out. At least i get a good paycheck. I try to fit everything in my schedule even if it seems impossible. I've evolved as a character. I'm more mature. I have lived situations that most haven't. Doing my best to reach goals and form good habits. I'm lonely but it is what it is. I'm proud of how strong and stable emotionally i've become. I understand that i'm a slave. Most are. You can disagree and that's fine. I don't care about anger or sadness or loneliness. The only thing i care about is following my daily schedule and doing my habits. To make things better for me and for the people i care. I will never give an advice again to someone that doesn't want to hear my advice. I used to like to think myself as spiritual as i was healing. Nope. I don't care. I've had some experiences. Who cares. I care about my goals and habits and making things better for me and the people i care about. Certainly i have more anger hidden somewhere. In fact maybe it's unlimited. The unfairness. The bad luck. Shut up dude. I don't care. I have it so much better than most. I've earned that. I've earned my healing. I also earned my "maturity". I earned my paycheck. I earned my loneliness. I'm earning the future right now. Good or bad it's all me. I took responsibility for everything. It's my fault. It was my win. Not complaining anymore. Ok maybe sometimes. The only question is what do i really want? What kind of life do i want? It's not even hard to make it happen then. At the very least i will know exactly the path to walk on. It's my new superpower. No one needs to understand.

@fopylo Are you sure this leadership thing is even your own original desire? What do you mean with this word? Do you want to order people? Being bossy is something nobody likes. Leadership is earned not even by trying to be a leader. I find it hard to come to your shoes because the idea of someone being above someone else disgusts me. We all trying to survive here. You can't force anyone to respect you. You must earn the respect. You have absolutely no need for this comparing with others. Look honestly at your actions and choose slowly better actions. Maybe i'm not the right person to listen to though. When i hear the word military i want to throw up.

That's good advice. You can also break this down further to a good hour or a good moment. If you always have a good moment then you have a good hour and a good day and a good life. It's a fractal.

Don't you ever stop doing what you love doing. I thought about this for a while because it's a good question. I did many things wrong but this is the single thing that i regretted the most.

Change country my dude. This is bs.

Believe it or not there is a tutorial to awakening it's called a new earth. But it's not enough for people. If there a belief that you should seek for 10 years you will follow this belief.

Muscle memory never fails to fascinate me. It's crazy how far it can go. .

I watched just some minutes but he is spot on.

The definition of being socially dominant is to not let your emotional and psychological state to be affected whatever someone says or does. Avoid playing social status games with others to appear above. Just stay grounded. It is simple but not easy. You need to be authentic and at ease. Relaxed in your body and also watch out for bad body language habits and eliminate them. The simplest but most profound realization i had on how to attract people magnetically with ease as you said is to just be a happy person. Credit goes to @Mandy to improve looks you need to take it step by step. I had to go through this process after letting myself completely for a few years and eliminate my insecurities. Make a list. Visit the doctors or professionals you need to visit to get your answers. Set some time everyday even 5' to spend on your looks. Sleep, diet and working out are the game changers of everything in life. Good health is the foundation. if you try hard to be cool you are uncool. Read some books but don't go crazy with the information and force it in your interactions. A very nice yt channel i discovered a week ago is called julian himself. I think that you will like it. I once read a book that had 365 mantras on different topics to repeat one in your head for a whole day. One i tried went like this: Like others, don't care enough if they like you. Let me tell you this actually works. If someone doesn't like you but you follow through with this most likely they are gonna like you. It's time to say that i'm very much antisocial the last years and i only like a few people. Instead of trying to make everyone like you which is impossible, very tiring, manipulative and needy try to relax and find out who do YOU like. Having high expectations and not following through is the story of my life. The detail is that there were some years of my life that i did follow through. I know my value and what is possible. It all comes down to this. Focus on the things that you can do today and not more. Even better focus on what action you are doing now. The better now decisions you make the further you get. It is only now after all.

When you are creating you are giving birth to some magic. Try to find what artform you like by experimenting and then create some stuff. It's deeply fulfilling. Some days i wake up excited to see what song will be created today.

@Someone here socializing like everything else is something that you can learn and become better at. Just learn more about the topic and take small steps to become better. The internet is full with good and bad information. Even if you get a girlfriend you then need a bunch of other skills to maintain a relationship. Not being affected emotionally by what others say or do is very attractive. Having goals, doing your thing, being healthy and generally happy is also attractive. So work on those. Not being poor or unemployed helps too. There is always an option to move to another country but night clubs is not the reason to do that lol.

Well i have had the same experience and reached the same conclusion. Things can go to hell pretty fast unexpectedly without you really "attracting" them. These situations can throw you way off balance. Sticking to what you know is true no matter what happens right there is how you win and save years of unnecessary suffering. I haven't experienced that yet. The no brainer answer is to put the work in day in and day out consistently.

@Orb if you are rested you can have more quality time. 1 hour of very concentrated work can beat 4 sloppy hours. Concentration practice is something that i keep putting off for later but i'm 100% sure that it's a game changer. For example learning to memorize a deck of cards. Even if you have less time if you sleep enough if you are rested there are ways to get more juice out of your hours.

@Orb ok yeah i get it you are right. What i have to say is that your body always knows how much sleep is needed. Alarm clocks are dreadful. If you sleep early enough you could wake up without an alarm clock. Easier said than done i know. Most of us have a job that forces us to wake up at a certain time. Having a steady sleep hours is key. I work in shifts and i can't have one. There are also supplements to experiment with. Most likely you probably need at least 7 hours of sleep. I read that there is 3% or something that can go by with less. I am not one of them i just survive with less but i harm my health. Better sleep more than less. If you optimize your diet or health in any way and you wake up without an alarm clock after 5 hours let's say, then i guess it's fine. It could be possible but let your body decide how much sleep it needs.

I sleep less because of work. I was sleep deprived for some years then i was lucky enough to rest for a whole year and believe me it took me the whole year to feel good again. Sleep should be the no1 priority to remain healthy. Sure you can get by but it's bad for your health long term.

Not lately but doing cold showers everyday for a year along with some weight lifting and better diet made me say a big fuck you to the doctors that were scaring me and advising scary treatments for life. The fact that i can do the job i do proves that i'm very very fit and wim hof was a huge piece of the puzzle of me feeling this way.

@fopylo you need to read new earth.

Meditation is a learning tool. And necessary at first. Just not for ever.