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MazE

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About Me

  • Gender
    Male
  • Practices I Recommend
    Running and cold showers
  • Books I Recommend
    A new earth

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  1. Arrogance as i understand it comes from a positive feedback. You are doing good compared to others. This boosts the ego that wants to feel big. You are above someone else in something. I also believe that humility really is close to the meaning of humiliation. Let's say there is a boxer that always wins. He becomes arrogant. One day he takes only one punch in a match and it's a knockout. This was humiliating. He is still as good as before but he is not arrogant anymore. He continues his training but this time with humility. No woman likes someone with arrogance that has nothing to back it up. Of course if he can back it up then it's another case. Still someone with humility that doesn't need to be arrogant but could be because he can back it up is more attractive. I believe that humility comes from experience. Maybe it's just the evolution of arrogance. It starts with arrogance but inevitably you will take the blows and develop humility. Still humility feels like having an element of weakness. Humility could just be the lack of arrogance. One that has humility could either be weak or very strong. I believe there are 2 kinds of humility. What comes to mind is Harry Mack. He is amazing at freestyling. He doesn't come off as arrogant to me. He seems like he has humility. Still he is one of the best. The process and the grind to become so good at this developed his humility. I feel that there is no energy left to feel arrogant after such a journey. You just have a different vibe. The vibe of a newbie is arrogance. The vibe of a master is humility. This is what i think about it.
  2. @Alexander i just try to remember that they are suffering too and that it has nothing to do with me. When i react on it i always regret it. I had 2 crazy mothers. I'm like a master on not getting triggered but i do react sometimes too. You know the feeling of wanting to punch somebody because he or she asks for it? (I don't punch people) There is a skill of letting this feeling go. I'm not saying that it's easy but it's always an option and a skill that can be developed.
  3. I love your whole post. Very eye opening. It seems that i am in hell as you described it because i believe that i can change it and i am in the mode of fighting against it but i could surrender to this mode of fighting also! The way i understand what you said one should relax into decidership and doership. Is this what you meant? If you want to change a situation you do need to make a plan, to take decisions and to do stuff. All this starts from negative emotions and the resistance about the current situation. But in the end it's just routine. You decided you want to change things? Then do the things that need to get done without resistance like brushing your teeth. It just need to get done it will suck but no big deal. No need to believe in hell or create hell by believing in it. Just brush your teeth. Edit: or maybe i'm in a loop that i need to get out of. That loop is the hell. I want results. To get the results i need to take action. Maybe i should learn to relax instead and then the actions will come effortlessly. The resistance of what is is definitely hell. I'm stuck in this frame of thinking even though it seems like working. It doesn't.
  4. Working out is necessary for a good life. Reading books is fun. Anyone has the time to read a bit everyday. I practice listening as good as i can when talking to people. I learned that there are different kinds of people. Oversimplification but they fall into 4 categories that can mix with each other. " Communication happens to the listeners terms". Something like that was the quote but i need to keep that in mind. I want to learn how to become a better communicator. I have to practice. It's more important than i thought it is. There are some people that know everybody and almost everyone likes them. I'm not like that. Most people annoy me. But again it's just that there are different categories of people. Some people are born with charisma and being social. I was born with different positive traits but everyone has something. That's the point. I work in shifts. They change all the time. It's certainly not healthy. Many people there seem 10 years older than they are. That's why i cannot not get rich. It's not an option. I'm sacrificing health for cash. I'm doing what i can to balance this out by going to the gym for example. I cannot journal like this offline. It just doesn't work. Hopefully i will elevate a bit with time and i will develop an interest in spirituality again. But it's not the same for everyone. I talk the way i talk sometimes because i fight everyday. I don't have a desk job neither do i want one. I can't be talking about rainbows and butterflies when i run maybe half a marathon/day or night at work. Anger is my fuel. Not in a bad way anymore. I mean the only reason i can do such jobs very well is because i use my anger. It's just a tool i use to get paid. It doesn't run out. People may have completely different worldviews than me. They may believe in things that i find so stupid that i get angry. Usually i open my mouth because i can't stand it. What do i get from this? Nothing. Just some emotional relief but then what happens is that i possibly made an enemy or at least someone will dislike me or think that i'm weird. On the other hand i hate not telling things exactly as i believe they are. Communication happens on the listeners terms. How open are they to listen? How do i go about talking about something with someone and how likely is that they will listen? Everyone wants to be right all the time and there is no communication. Unless you prepared the ground for them to listen. Aha. I liked that.
  5. My thoughts are just noise sometimes. Just trying to survive. Working so hard to wake up in a plastic world that i don't like. I do have things to be grateful for. Also things that i lack but trying to get. Being selfish gets things done. It's hard to take responsibility for things that i don't truly believe were my fault. There are outside forces that controlled and are still controlling my life in one way or another. This is exactly why i want to get rich. For the freedom. They make the rules and i have no other option but to follow them. I've lost so many years just to become a robot. The truth is that i didn't have any other option. Others had more fun. Others had an easier life. Others are happier. Others this others that. Why do i habitually compare myself to others? I know that all of this is bs. But not unecessary. There needs to be a balance in everything. And so the years pass by. Not knowing where to go and where i belong. Obstacles everywhere. People that can't take care of themselves. Brain dead laws and bureaucracy that i don't even want to think about. Idiotic systems. Dopamine addictions that are exactly like chains for everyone. Looking at screens all day. Robots. Always waiting for something. Always wasting time. Society that is controlled by the media. Morons. Following religions. Bringing kids to this world without being able to raise them right. Morons. Everyone is stupid at something or at some level always but the majority of people are beyond stupid. Programmed. Following stupid rules. Modern slaves. People that wait for green at night with zero traffic to cross the road. People that ask for permission to go to the toilet. People that destroy their health everyday because they have nothing better to do. Social media. Girls that turn to objects because it's normal. Destroyed relationships. People that believe they have some power by voting. Money that buys only half the stuff from 5 years ago.
  6. So I've logged in here again. It's a place that feels safe and supportive. I live in a constant grind. Only a few people would survive the kind of jobs that i go to night in night out. At least i get a good paycheck. I try to fit everything in my schedule even if it seems impossible. I've evolved as a character. I'm more mature. I have lived situations that most haven't. Doing my best to reach goals and form good habits. I'm lonely but it is what it is. I'm proud of how strong and stable emotionally i've become. I understand that i'm a slave. Most are. You can disagree and that's fine. I don't care about anger or sadness or loneliness. The only thing i care about is following my daily schedule and doing my habits. To make things better for me and for the people i care. I will never give an advice again to someone that doesn't want to hear my advice. I used to like to think myself as spiritual as i was healing. Nope. I don't care. I've had some experiences. Who cares. I care about my goals and habits and making things better for me and the people i care about. Certainly i have more anger hidden somewhere. In fact maybe it's unlimited. The unfairness. The bad luck. Shut up dude. I don't care. I have it so much better than most. I've earned that. I've earned my healing. I also earned my "maturity". I earned my paycheck. I earned my loneliness. I'm earning the future right now. Good or bad it's all me. I took responsibility for everything. It's my fault. It was my win. Not complaining anymore. Ok maybe sometimes. The only question is what do i really want? What kind of life do i want? It's not even hard to make it happen then. At the very least i will know exactly the path to walk on. It's my new superpower. No one needs to understand.
  7. @fopylo Are you sure this leadership thing is even your own original desire? What do you mean with this word? Do you want to order people? Being bossy is something nobody likes. Leadership is earned not even by trying to be a leader. I find it hard to come to your shoes because the idea of someone being above someone else disgusts me. We all trying to survive here. You can't force anyone to respect you. You must earn the respect. You have absolutely no need for this comparing with others. Look honestly at your actions and choose slowly better actions. Maybe i'm not the right person to listen to though. When i hear the word military i want to throw up.
  8. That's good advice. You can also break this down further to a good hour or a good moment. If you always have a good moment then you have a good hour and a good day and a good life. It's a fractal.
  9. Don't you ever stop doing what you love doing. I thought about this for a while because it's a good question. I did many things wrong but this is the single thing that i regretted the most.
  10. Believe it or not there is a tutorial to awakening it's called a new earth. But it's not enough for people. If there a belief that you should seek for 10 years you will follow this belief.
  11. Muscle memory never fails to fascinate me. It's crazy how far it can go. .
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