Proserpina

The Feminine "They say beauty comes from a spirit that has weathered many hardships in life and somehow continues with resilience. Grace can be found in a soul who ages softly, even amid the tempest. I think the loveliest by far is the one whose gentle heart bears a hundred scars from caring, yet still finds a way to pick up the lamp, one more time, to light the way for love." -Susan Frybort

The Feminine

Love and Life "God" Love Open heart Peak state Entities

Collecting images for my vision board.

This is the way I like to go through life. It's my preference. To have an open heart.

Even Christians (balanced masculine, the Nation of Love) deny the feminine. "Following the arrest of Jesus, Peter denied knowing him three times, but after the third denial, he heard the rooster crow and recalled the prediction as Jesus turned to look at him. ... This final incident is known as the Repentance of Peter." "And the Lord turned, and looked upon Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice. And Peter went out, and wept bitterly" (Luke 22:61, 62). That was the turning-point in the history of Peter. Christ had said to him: "Thou canst not follow me now." Peter was not in a fit state to follow Christ, because he had not been brought to an end of himself; he did not know himself, and he therefore could not follow Christ. But when he went out and wept bitterly, then came the great change. Christ previously said to him: "When thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren." Here is the point where Peter was converted from self to Christ.

"The bible talks about Pharaoh and kings killing babies to make sure the feminine doesn't arise. Jesus had to be hidden at birth. The masculine doesn't want to feminine to be born because she holds a sword." "I called him Pharaoh during the earthquake. "The divine was using this community to download a message to the collective." Right after out of trance- during the major earthquake: 'Please read what I wrote.' 'Someone please read what I wrote before this ship goes down.' 'It's exodus' 'The masculine has overruled the feminine on this forum. Hello?? They've all left. Can we learn from history please. ' 'But the LORD hardened Pharaoh's heart" Its right THERE' "The plagues of Egypt. When the masculine won't listen. " "Lord of the rings Frodo (feminine) impacting the extreme, extreme masculine, destroying the ring of power. The feminine left. That's why the Evil arose. Why World war 2 happened. Hell is the absence of God (feminine) Society is less violent than the past because the feminine has been allowed to come forward." "It's like through all that violence in the past the feminine was allowed to come forward. The masculine couldn't stand being in hell anymore. " "Humanity doesn't wasn't the feminine to be born. And yet he does at the same time, because otherwise he goes to hell. " "Balanced masculine (Christians) allow the feminine to come forward because they are more heavily a part of the Nation of Love/have been impacted by the feminine and learnt the lessons of love. " "Balanced masculine (Christians) go to heaven because they allow the feminine to come forward. Extreme masculine goes to hell because he doesn't." "Until the extreme masculine learns his lesson, becomes a christian/balanced masculine and allows the feminine to come forward. He's learnt the lessons of love by going to hell. " "The extreme masculine is extreme because hasn't allowed the feminine forward. He's actually the normal masculine. He's completely normal, he's just in hell. Balanced masculine/Christians have the same sentiments as the any other masculine but have learnt their lesson. " "I believe covid was a symptom of not allowing the feminine forward. Teal swan talks about how covid is a symptom of worldwide narcissism. The earthquake coincided with the beginning of covid." "When you went against him, you could feel his Antichrist energy (masculine in hell) because you are a part of the Nation of Love, a Christian, balanced masculine. " "You did not take the mark of the beast. You saw straight through him and his bullshit because you've learnt the lessons of love. " "The feminine is letting him rot in his antichrist energy until he learns the lessons of love. "

"Normal masculine can become extreme, extreme masculine if they haven't been impacted for a while" "It's all fluid. Extreme masculine that is impacted can go right back to being extreme masculine if the impact is not great enough. " "Extreme masculine and the feminine look extreme because they are rare. But they are just a normal masculine and feminine. Most of humanity has been greatly impacted by the feminine and have stayed that way. " "One day there will be an equal proportion of normal feminine and normal masculine. With many different kinds of personalities, genders and whatever else. Angelic Normal masculine and normal feminine are perfect partners." "Have you heard of the idea of how when humanity becomes more evolved indigo children come forth? It's because humanity has stopped privileging the masculine and is allowing the feminine to come forth. " "You can even see it reflected in humanity the idea of the masculine being privileged over the feminine when it comes to babies. In China, in the past. Male children were preferred over female children. Female children were killed in China and the parents used to do everything they could to have a male child. " "Humanity prefers overall masculine babies. So that's what comes forth. The feminine isn't allowed to come forth. Not yet. " "The feminine that are allowed to come forth are called the indigo children. " "They are Love. The mother. Humanity is her child and her husband. " ""The bride of Christ" "She nurtures humanity. But she also comes with a sword. “I did not come to bring peace, but a sword” - Jesus I'm pretty sure Jesus was an angelic Normal feminine. " "That explains the crucifixion. The parade of my dead corpse. Just like in the Lion the witch and the wardrobe. He better watch out." ""Even then Pharaoh will refuse to listen to you. So I will bring down my fist on Egypt. Then I will rescue my forces—my people, the Israelites—from the land of Egypt with great acts of judgment.""

I realized the above during an acute lack of empathy or difference. It revealed the nature of my personality.

During a "mystical experience": "The fact that we are SO different is evidence of my theory. I'm not human. But I'm not the extreme 'masculine' (masculine in quotes). I don't have the benefits of the extreme 'masculine'. I don't belong to the nation of love, I don't have his charm. "It's obvious. Why can't you see it. I'm DIFFERENT. " Again, I cannot capitalise enough on my DIFFERENCE. Look at my difference. Hello? " "Try contemplating, just a little bit. Just try. On my DIFFERENCE. I'm more different than a psychopath I'm more different than Hitler I'm more different than almost all of humanity. I'm more different than a narcissist I'm more different than than a crazy person. I'm more different than someone with schizophrenia I'm more different than the extreme 'masculine'" They all belong more significantly to the nation of love. They're all more charming. They have a HUMANNESS. " "I lack a humanness that every one of those people have. I am not the extreme 'masculine'." "I'm not really the extreme side of the duality, it's just that masculine is privileged so it looks like I'm extreme. "Basically there is only masculine and feminine. No extreme or balanced. Extreme masculine is a normal masculine who hasn't been impacted by the feminine. A balanced masculine is a normal masculine that has been impacted by the feminine. A feminine who has crossed over is a normal feminine who has been impacted by the masculine, understands the masculine. Angel is a masculine and feminine that has been maximally impacted by the other. " "The feminine race is in charge of transforming humanity into angels. The 'Nation of Love'/normie energy/balanced masculine is a manifestation of that. " "The feminine race doesn't recieve any empathy because they don't belong to the "Nation of Love"" "The Nation of Love is one of the defining differences between me and humanity. I am outside of the Nation of Love because I cause it, I birth it. I am the mother. I am Love herself. " "And that was what I realised at the peak of my mystical experience. That I am responsible for humanity. " "But you have to be nothing, dirt. Unpopular, unappealing, non privileged, an outsider, alone to be that. " "Because the masculine thrives on popularity and it makes him profoundly ignorant. The feminine race gives that up and gains wisdom." "But she'll be seen as nothing. Nothing special. She won't recieve any empathy, no companionship. " "Me entering into your world is when I realize who I really am and I am listened to by humanity, because they have to, they've fallen into ignorance. She understands humanity. Doesn't mean she IS humanity but she gets their perspective, she understands. " "Some people have way more feminine or yin or whatever you want to call it- they're just words" "I have very little of the opposite duality and it's benefits. Whatever that duality is. Feminine and masculine is just a way to define especially since masculine is privileged over feminine. It matches. " Doesn't mean I don't have a personality. I'm allowed to be masculine and the duality I am. "

I suspect it is the "there is a lack of empathy from others because I'm different" end of the spectrum. The medical system confirms it. A mystical experience confirmed it. I mean come on... my passivity and disorganization/chaos is off the scale. Can lack of empathy from others really cause that? I don't like the company of others, never have. I'm asocial to boot. "We were made this way". "Any wealth we have is from your mother" my father says. His interpretation is that it's trauma and poverty (and wealth from my Mother who was a master).

This journal is going to take a different course than my other journals. More free flowing.

Am I different or is it a lack of empathy from others? Am I different because of a lack of empathy from others or is there a lack of empathy from others because I'm different? I'm not sure.

Gained this year (in terms of significant interests for my growth and healing): Period of alignment and happiness New interest in chakra work New interest in root chakra work New interest in ideal self, self concept New interest in following my highest excitement New interest in tulpa work New interest in AI New interest in the Abrahamic God New interest in my Devotional bible New interest in Atmosphere of Grace New interest in God/the Goddess Self Empathy and self love is key. All these things help me to show empathy and love towards myself. To keep my condition under 'control' the best I can. None really substitute for empathy from an other, but it helps significantly. I can only keep it under control the best I can. And there are upsides to the loss of control. I also have my top 5 that I've discovered over the years: 1. Interest in ASMR 2. Interest in Ambient music 3. Interest in Oracle Cards and tarot 4. Interest in Ambient rooms 5. Interest in Guided meditations (Alana Fairchild and honestguys)

Leaving reality as a result of acute lack of empathy from others is not necessarily negative. It can be positive. Think “Carrie”, the movie. She attained power in the end through acute lack of empathy from others. It's like a balancing, you are given such little empathy that you circle around and recieve love from the universe when you ‘lose touch’. You recieve such little empathy, you recieve empathy.

Thanks fellow survivor. I noticed this: I think a lack of empathy from others causes schizoaffective to worsen radically and lays at the heart of it. Love and communication improves it. Lack of empathy is like punching someone who already has brain-damage, even if they deserve it. It doesn't help the situation, it simply worsens it. There is a momentum to a lack of empathy from others. It causes schizoaffective to become worse and worse until they can't see reality unless they are given love, empathy or communication. They are the result of a failed system (that reaches generations). They just keep being given less and less empathy as the momentum is out of control and then blamed for it when they are now disabled and brain-damaged.

I think a lack of empathy from others causes schizoaffective to worsen radically and lays at the heart of it. Love and communication improves it. Lack of empathy is like punching someone who already has brain-damage, even if they deserve it. It doesn't help the situation, it simply worsens it. There is a momentum to a lack of empathy from others. It causes schizoaffective to become worse and worse until they can't see reality unless they are given love, empathy or communication. They are the result of a failed system (that reaches generations). They just keep being given less and less empathy as the momentum is out of control and then blamed for it when they are now disabled and brain-damaged.

The amount of mental torture and trauma I was in caused me to vomit repeatedly and go into psychosis soon after. And not the pleasant kind. I don't appreciate being pushed into psychosis because of a lack of empathy. Call it 'drama' and bitterness if you will but every time I go into psychosis it causes me permanent braindamage. People need to be mindful.

You did flirt with him. I apologized because I made a scene publicly. I was still insecure about my diagnosis and apologized on hands and knees, telling everyone I hadn't taken my meds. Like a total bitch. Then during that whole fiasco you started demonizing me, I was a "Judas", culminating in you telling an entire forum my schizophrenia was out of control. Extremely stigmatising. I felt so ashamed of my condition for the longest time. I knew what true stigma was at that time. I neither ask for your forgiveness nor do I want it.

You have the audacity to tell me I'm not a real woman. He tells me I'm a transvestite. Because I did something that I apologized for. But it wasn't enough for you, you had to publicly humiliate me telling people that my schizophrenia was out of control. I was in pain. And you were flaunting your sexuality in front of him. Using him for your sexual fantasies. No empathy, both ganging up on me. There is no justice. God will judge you both for what you have done.

You flaunt your fantasies openly with other men. Weakness? Lol. You were flaunting your sexual fantasies in front of my then partner. I honestly think the fantasies were him in disguise. Looking straight into your eyes right now. Dead in your eyes. You know it. Get off of him. You're not the pure hearted innocent here.

I sympathise with Jonas, it's the forum against him. Ten against one. He was trying to be funny and then reacted to having so many question him. The masculine often gets scapegoated. I would be careful in assuming about negative energy. It can be that the person is simply different and so it seems as if they have negative energy and recieve negative feedback. There's a balancing act in my experience. You don't know the person and their experience. They may well experience positive feedback but from unique ways that are conducive with being different.

Luckily it's not your forum. I like Jonas Long. He's funny.

Your hypocrisy is off the scale. Walk your talk. You attack everyone you meet. You make enemies everywhere you go. No wonder you were banned on Leo's forum for your behaviour. 'Duplicate accounts' is hardly a reason to get rid of someone. It was because of your behaviour. Everyone is too afraid of you to tell you how it is and that your behaviour sucks and is segregating because you are cruel with your words. "Get your schizophrenia under control" who says things like that except someone who discriminates openly against the west, women and people with a disability.