will of the heart

[ivankiss]

Damnit. Now I got a brain freeze regarding trading. Not sure what system to stick to. Guess I gotta experiment a bit more until something clicks.

 

Opened a position. Willing to let it ride till the end of the week, but I might close earlier. Daily ATR: 26, Weekly: 51. Aiming for cca 50% of either one of the two.

 

Never traded the weekly before, I guess what's bugging me is the trend contradiction between the timeframes. I'd be buying on lower time frames and selling on higher. It's quite twisted, but it actually makes sense.

 

Let's see what happens. 

Edited June 26, 2022 by ivankiss

[ivankiss]

Starting a split routine today. Keeping it simple.

 

Day 1: Arms, shoulders, chest

Day 2: Rest

Day 3: Legs, back, abs

Day 4: Rest

 

And repeat.

[ivankiss]

Been eating somewhere between 3000 and 3500 calories per day, for a while now. I'm not too strict or calculated about it though. Not eating trash. Or at least very little. 5 meals a day.

 

Might push up to 4000+ calories soon. Thankfully I'm gaining minimum fat, I'm going for that lean bulk, instead of dirty bulk. Might take just a bit more time until I put on weight, but it's going to be much healthier and it will look better. Curious how much body fat exactly I have. Might check out somewhere soon. I'm guessing around 12-13ish.

 

Ultimately, I'd love to be at 10%. With all the gains, ofcourse. 

[ivankiss]

Position closed. Beautiful trade. Very nice profit. I could've extracted 20-30% more, but I did not set a TP and was not looking at the chart until now. Price already jumped back up a bit. Still, I'm very satisfied. If I can keep up this tempo consistently, with a larger deposit, I can say goodbye to 9 to 5 jobs forever.

 

God I hope I will.

 

Looks like I'm sticking to swinging the daily, weakly is a bit more down the line.

[ivankiss]

Busy night at the restaurant. Also crushed it at the gym. Feeling quite tired, but the spirit is high. I'm building a very nice momentum in all these areas. I'm doing it! It's not just a vision anymore. Past me would be so proud. I am proud haha! 

 

And it's only going to be better and better now.

 

Man, walking through hell is awful, but coming out the other side is so damn awesome. I guess it's totally worth it. So much depth, wisdom, knowledge, love. Grateful for surviving the bottom.

Edited June 27, 2022 by ivankiss

[ivankiss]

Opened another position. Selling right on the major support line, which is not very smart, but it's a heavy down trend, so I'm good. There might be a big spike up before the price continues to go down, and I could take advantage of that, but then I would not be sticking to my daily swing system. You cannot have all the pips, that's just something to make peace with. Going for the absolute perfect entry is also not practical. Unless you sit in front of the chart non stop.

 

Expecting to exit tomorrow, but it might take longer. I'm trying to avoid predicting the future and simply trade what the chart is showing me. Sticking to the system.

 

Aiming for pretty much the same range as with the previous trade. Plus/minus a few pips. That seems like a very sweet and comfortable middle spot.

 

[ivankiss]

Man, technical analysis is the second coolest thing ever. The first one being music, of course. Haha! 

[ivankiss]

In profit. But I'm not exiting yet. Price has not broken through the support. Aiming for 2-3 times more, even though this is already a nice profit. Holding over night, hopefully exiting tomorrow around London hours.

[ivankiss]

Gas is ridiculously expensive. Definitely selling my car by the end of the summer. Unless I make much more money than expected haha!

 

I liked living life without a car. I like taking buses, cabs, etc, and I also love to walk. Owning a car is quite a burden. In bigger cities, you really don't need one. It has its benefits too, but while I'm in this phase of accumulating more money, it's not smart to have one.

Edited June 28, 2022 by ivankiss

[ivankiss]

Trade closed with profit. Just a bit less than the previous. Very nice.

 

Price is most definitely continuing to go down, I could have extracted twice as more, I'm pretty sure of that... but to be honest, I was a bit impatient and I wanted to secure that profit.

 

Overall, great trade. Things are looking awesome so far. Still warming up though.

Edited June 29, 2022 by ivankiss

[ivankiss]

Yup. It would've hit my TP by now. About 30% more profit.

 

Oh well... as said, you cannot have all the pips, all the time. Must be happy with what I got.

 

Off to work.

 

 

[ivankiss]

Huge spike up. Might be a reversal. Not buying just yet, though it's tempting. Waiting for more confirmation.

[ivankiss]

Meshuggah + gym = superpowers 

Dismantling the clockwork that makes me the cynic
Pallet, wheel and click
The properties of my indifference
Reverse-engineering what makes it tick
Dissecting the fine-tuned mechanism
Rack and barrel, spring and pin
Its synchronous characteristics
To kill what makes it spin

Disassemble this machinery
Re-program these eyes, undo this design

 

Labelled and filed, each part indexed
Broken to pieces then thoroughly burned
Deconstruction of what I am
Buried to make sure he never returns

Taken apart, defused
Blueprints turned to ashes
Eradicate the last remains
Remnants of the insane

Disintegration
The destruction of me
Now imperative
To purge myself
Of this condition
Complete this dissolution
A necessity

Break
Break
Break
This deceitful machine

A lie, what once I was
Obsolete instrument
An outmoded contraption
A malfunctioning device

 

That callous self now extinguished
That malignant self now disused
That conceited invention
To nothing now reduced

Complete disintegration
The destruction of me
Now imperative
To purge myself
Of this condition
Complete this dissolution
A necessity

Break
Break
Break
This deceitful machine

[ivankiss]

No reversal, it was just a big spike up, a fake - as predicted. Price is right back on support line.

 

I don't feel very comfortable selling now. There might be some more manipulations. Will wait until it moves to the next zone.

[ivankiss]

Yup. Price continues to plummet. It's the biggest move this week. I could've profited a lot, but something held me back. I guess I'm still being quite timid.

 

I clearly know this stuff. I'm reading the chart like a book. Even my predictions all turn out to be true, though I'm trying to avoid predicting anything. I want to trade my system, not the future. But I'm leaving a lot on the table.

 

Must be more confident and trust myself. From a technical standpoint I'm very good. It's my psychology and emotions that are in the way I guess. It's like I don't want to give myself all this money haha!

 

This is it for this week. Doubt I'll open any positions tomorrow. Will push a bit harder next week.

Edited June 30, 2022 by ivankiss

[ivankiss]

I'm impatient. That's the biggest issue. It's noticable in general too, not only when it comes to trading. Gotta work on that a bit.

[ivankiss]

Another idea I resonate with, is moving to Amsterdam after summertime. I wanted to do that years ago, but ended up moving to another place. 

 

I'm drawn to Amsterdam mainly because it seems like a perfect place for an artist to live in. I'm sure I'd meet so so many interesting characters. Who knows what could open up for me there.

 

I've done some research and I wouldn't need that much to pull it off. Anywhere from two to three thousand euros should be enough for a safe transition. And that much I will have. 

 

I'd probably still have to work for a while, unless trading really takes off, but I'm cool with that. It would certainly be a more interesting environment to work in.

 

Idk, it's super exciting to think about, but I also feel this scarcity, for whatever reason. Part of me wants to stay on known ground and chill a bit longer. 

 

Probably not going to decide for sure anything, for quite some time... but it's cool that I explore and weigh these ideas until the time comes.

Edited June 30, 2022 by ivankiss

[ivankiss]

Holy shit... Just woke up from a bizarre dream. I've had nightmares before, but never this kind.

 

I was basically drugged and kidnapped by a group of criminals. They wanted to steal both of my cars. I don't know why, but I had two in this dream haha! One was the actual car I now have, and the other was this super cool vintage Mercedes. A gorgeous, restored oldtimer.

 

It was super weird because first I remember waking up in a truck of some random car and escaping. I ended up rushing into a random house where a girl told me she too has been kidnapped and her car was stolen. There I encountered this super cool, skinny yet super muscular old zen dude. He was speaking to me in Hungarian, which was super cool, because I was in Italy in this dream. There was also some other random guy in the room. We talked a bit about the events and whatnot, I think the old guy even called the police... And then, out of nowhere, I'm sucked out of there and waking up on the front seat of my car.

 

I remember trying to convince myself that this is just a dream, and for a second I was so sure of that... but then something changed my mind and I concluded that this was actually happening. I was back in my car which was being dragged by a pickup truck of these criminals. They were taking me God knows where. I remember struggling to keep myself up, I was drugged and super disoriented. It was so real haha! I opened the drawer as I knew all of my money was there. My plan was to take the money, jump out of the window and run for my life. It was hard earned money, I worked my ass off for it, I couldn't leave it there. That's what was going through my mind. There ended up being much, much more money in that drawer than it should be. There was no way I could've take it all with me haha! What a metaphor... So I finally gave up and took what I could.

 

I then jumped out of the window of a moving car and was shot to death in a split second by a guy looking from a window of the pickup truck. It was as if he was waiting patiently for me to make this stupid move. I remember falling to the ground on a lawn, right next to some lady that was doing some gardening, in the middle of the night lol. My last words were 'run' or something like that. I knew I was about to die and I remember thinking to myself something along the lines of 'well shit... what now?' Haha! Well... I died. And woke up on my grandmother's couch in utter shock.

 

What the actual fuck haha! It's funny now, but it was super twisted and scary in the dream. There's probably a lesson or two to extract here, but I'm not too big on what dreams mean, etc... Most of the time I just wanna forget about them and sleep tight till the morning.

 

Super weird stuff haha! Back to bed.

[ivankiss]

Strange night... Had two more dreams. Super vivid. Kept waking up every 2-3 hours.

 

The second dream was absolutely beautiful. I met this gorgeous, angelic girl and we ended up making love for a very long time. It was so passionate and hot. The attraction and connection was super strong. Lovely dream.

 

The third one was very weird again. I basically cut my left hand of, for whatever reason. I think I wanted to prove some ridiculous point. Like I could grow it back or something along those lines haha.  My mind goes places lol.

[ivankiss]

Chillin' at work with a buddy.