Why does it hurt so bad?

[Forza21]

Why does ending of relationship hurt so much?

[Blessed2]

Relationships are substitutes for God/Love.

 

There is a beautiful form of prayer shared in Disappearance of the Universe by Gary Renard which might be helpful in this.

 

Get comfy and take a few deep breaths: ground, be mindful. Also, recognize that you cannot actually pray by your own power. Ask to do it with the guru's power. Ask the guru to show you the way.

 

Visualize a perfect white light surrounding you and stretching across eternity and infinity.

 

The visualize God's altar and perhaps Jesus or any other form the guru might take there with you, as support. Or just be alone.

 

Give all your desires and wants and ideals (stuff you think you need to be happy) as gifts to God. Tou may even visualize wrapping them as if a birthday or christmas gift.

 

With each desire or ideal you give away, remind yourself "I shalt not have other gods" and remind yourself that God is all you need, and he's with you already.

 

Then just be silent. Meditate for a moment.

 

I recommend you do this twice a day.

 

 

 

It's very telling of our madness that there is multiple desires. Relationships, money, sex, houses, cars, this and that etc etc. Our focus is very divided. We're like in some sort of insane rampage of divided attention. It's really no wonder why it seems that life is very confusing and complex and hard and overwhelming and stressful. This is what the "I shalt not have other gods" points to. Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity.

 

[Orb]

43 minutes ago, Forza21 said:

Why does ending of relationship hurt so much?

Oxytocin withdrawal, discordant beliefs coming up, etc. I think it's natural to experience sensations typically called "heartbreak" no matter what. 

 

Is there a resistance to these feelings? Is there a sense of disappointment that things aren't going the way you wanted them to?

[Mandy]

We often believe that the end of a relationship means the end of that love, and that is simply not the case. 

[Reena]

For me the end of my relationship can feel like the end of my life. 

 

[Joseph Maynor]

It's hard to give one reason why breakups hurt so bad.  The pain is obvious and terrible and can be duly noted -- there's nothing like it.  I think some of it is loss of probably your best friendship.  The fact of the loss of the closeness because it was so close.  The loss of the dream you had of the future.  The loss of somebody to love.  The loss of the receipt of love.  The fact that you still care deeply about that person.  The fact that nothing came out of something you had such almost certain hope for at some point.  The loneliness that comes from it.  It's one thing to lose a relationship -- it's another thing to lose the love of your life.  It depends on how long you were together, but the longer you are it can be hard because your lives are kind of merged together.  You grew together and then that was slowly probably ripped apart, often for reasons that aren't even fully understandable.  The relationship died.  It's like relationships have a life of their own.  Even if both people want it to work, sometimes it just doesn't.  You were each other's support system at a very deep level.  And the amazing highs at the beginning are almost replaced by equivalent lows at the end -- kind of like a zero sum game.  For everything you received, you pay it all back.

Edited May 17 by Joseph Maynor

[Phil]

It challenges the illusion of separateness, attachment, deep-seated discordant beliefs & patterns. Reflecting on why it ended can clarify the distinction between pain and suffering as well as dispel limiting beliefs, allowing greater alignment & healthier more harmonious future relationships.

 

 

[Reena]

3 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

Give all your desires and wants and ideals (stuff you think you need to be happy) as gifts to God. Tou may even visualize wrapping them as if a birthday or christmas gift.

How should I deal with this specific paragraph with some past relationship I'm unable to forget. I'm unable to forget a certain Mr B.  Should I visualize my desire for Mr B in the form of a wrapped gift given at the altar? This will be particularly hard because it's an intense desire and past memory. It's my only emotional possession I don't wish to be separated from. I believe that when we die, these emotional possessions and sentimental objects like memories, photos, shirts, items of clothing or jewelry are carried with us into the afterlife by our souls. I don't know. Kinda hard. 

 

Edited May 17 by Reena

[Blessed2]

55 minutes ago, Reena said:

Should I visualize my desire for Mr B in the form of a wrapped gift given at the altar?

 

Yeah. Anything you want, offer it as a gift.

 

55 minutes ago, Reena said:

This will be particularly hard because it's an intense desire

 

It might even be harder than hard. It's probably impossible.

 

How can you let go what you're holding on? Is it possible for you to have two separate wills? (Will to let go and will to hold on.) You'd have to be divided for that to be the case.

 

Ask to do it with the Guru's (God's) power. Ask for her to show you how to do it.

 

Also, you can't fail this. It's not some kind of thing you gotta succeed in. It's really just symbolic. The real prayer happens prior to your doings. Take it easy. Enjoy it.

 

The seed is already planted. You don't need to worry about that. Just give it some water.

 

Edited May 17 by Blessed2

[ivankiss]

To separate from a loved one is the biggest pain there is. No amount of enlightened mints can help you when your heart is splitting in two.

[Phil]

@ivankiss

The suffering is of the interpretation, not the awareness of. 

[ivankiss]

2 hours ago, Phil said:

 

The suffering is of the interpretation, not the awareness of. 

Any interpretation, even the one saying there is no separation and no heart -  break, is an attempt to negotiate with the pain.

Edited May 22 by ivankiss

[Phil]

44 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

Any interpretation, even the one saying there is no separation and no heart -  break, is an attempt to negotiate with the pain.

How so?

[Mandy]

Why does expansion feel like contraction? I don't want to hear from anyone who hasn't given birth. 😂

[ivankiss]

42 minutes ago, Phil said:

How so?

Because it's mental activity trying to distract one from feeling.

[Phil]

@ivankiss

What does that there isn’t any separation seem like an interpretation of? 

[ivankiss]

24 minutes ago, Phil said:

 

What does that there isn’t any separation seem like an interpretation of? 

Trick question. Pointing towards nothing, as usual.

 

In the aftermath of a heart- break, to say that there is no separation, to yourself or another, is a form of abuse.

[Phil]

@ivankiss

What’s “pointing towards nothing (as usual)”? 

 

How is the truth a form? 

[Phil]

3 hours ago, ivankiss said:

Any interpretation, even the one saying there is no separation

What does that there isn’t any separation seem like an interpretation of? 

[ivankiss]

1 hour ago, Phil said:

 

What’s “pointing towards nothing (as usual)”? 

A thought 😏

1 hour ago, Phil said:

 

How is the truth a form? 

Who said that?

1 hour ago, Phil said:

What does that there isn’t any separation seem like an interpretation of? 

Topic is pain, no?