Deep Depression: overall advice

[Philipp]

Hello 

I am in a state of very bad depression (I can sleep at all, I am scared of loosing my mind, I am compelty paralysed in life living with my parents with no job) 

 

Some question which I have is:

 

How much meditation is good? Is it bad to try to meditate for long hours?

 

How important is work? 

 

How important is to change your circumstances (moving out, trying to work, etc.)?

 

How important is therapy? Is journaling good enough?

 

How important is nature, pleasant experiences? ( Since I gotten depressed the noise of the city is very displeasant, when moving out I could chose between living closer to nature or closer to work, friends, family. I have a hard time choosing between these two options)

 

Should you seek enlightenment when depressed? (This tends to make me suicidal)

 

Any overal advice?

 

Sorry the hard post. Thank you for advice. 

 

 

[Blessed2]

2 hours ago, Philipp said:

How much meditation is good? Is it bad to try to meditate for long hours?

 

The interpretation that you're most likely holding as you're experiencing depression is that there is something you need to do, to fix about yourself, to succeed in some activity like meditation. That interpretation is precisely what feels so off and probably keeps you up at night.

 

Even 5 minutes of meditation is good.

 

I'd start with 5 - 15 minutes twice a day.

 

2 hours ago, Philipp said:

Should you seek enlightenment when depressed? (This tends to make me suicidal)

 

No-one should seek enlightenment ever in any situation. 😂

 

You are already the buddha. By seeking it you lose it.

 

It's like you're sitting in a movie theatre, and taking yourself to be a movie character you're seeing on the screen.

 

When you hear the message of the buddha, you hear it as the movie character you mistakenly take yourself to be.

 

Then the interpretation follows that the movie character can become or come to know the buddha by meeting certain requirements or doing certain practices. This is not the message.

 

The mistaken identification as you, the character, is prior to you. It is not your fault. There is no requirement you need to meet.

 

 

You are not mis-percieving. You are the mis-perception.

 

 

What do you mean by "this makes me suicidal"?

 

 

 

Edited April 7 by Blessed2

[Philipp]

5 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

 

What do you mean by "this makes me suicidal"?

 

Thanks for the reply!

 

I do try to not feel the need to change anything, but at the same time I have the feeling that living with my parents is very toxic for me. My mother was/is depressed when I was a child, and I have the feeling she was a devouring mother. I don't want to feel so connected to her. 

So do I need to change something then? I don't feel convinced that not trying to change things is the right aproach. Should a slave just accept his slavitude or who should he never give up on the hope and fight for freedom. 

 

It makes me exrtemly scared. To disassociate from myself like this.  To think my thoughts are not my own.  There is a scary thought, that the only thing to save me at this point is some spiritual miracle (something like Eckhart Tolle), which makes very disencouraged that I will make it out. I don't want some intense spiritual awakening, I just want to feel a little bit more joyful, stable, safe. I just want to love myself more. But I don't want some permanent shift in my identity. I am also scared of becoming shizophrenic (not being able control my thoughts and disas).

 

The suicidal aspect comes in when I feel extremly bad. Instead of trying to love myself (or my ego), I kind of give up and try to force myself to completly disassociate from myself. Trying to ask myself (who am I?) whilst feeling absolutly terrible. I feel extremly scared. 

Edited April 7 by Philipp

[Phil]

6 hours ago, Philipp said:

Hello 

I am in a state of very bad depression (I can sleep at all, I am scared of loosing my mind, I am compelty paralysed in life living with my parents with no job) 

 

Hi & welcome.

 

I’d consider “states” is a concept which is aversion or avoidance of feeling. A mental way to seemingly not feel, to suppress feeling basically, by conceptualizing feeling as “a state”, and therein conceptualizing yourself as a thing which is “in some thing” (a state). Because the concept implies you are a separate & isolated thing (in some thing), the concepts inherently feels discordant & very off and arises only of ignorance, which is truly innocence. 

 

What’s wanted is feeling - feeling better, feeling inspiration, feeling assuredness, feeling connected, grounded, optimistic, etc.  

 

If “I’m in a state” is believed, it likely seems there’s ’a problem’ and ‘the solution’ is “getting out of this state or changing this state’”. This would be more thoughts based on “being in a state” which don’t feel any better than the original thought “I’m in a state”. 

 

This could be noted as looking for feeling, in thoughts, or… rumination. That experience is indeed emotionally paralyzing, seems life sized or ‘big’, is maddening mentally, and can certainly take a toll on sleep as it were. 

 

The alternative would be to mentally ‘go towards’ feeling & acknowledging emotions, rather than ‘away from’ feeling & acknowledging emotions, such as by believing concepts like you’re inside of some thing (states). 

 

 

 

As emotion is acknowledged, fear is allowed and felt, and concepts like “I am scared” are noted to be, concepts, thoughts essentially… there is relief. The concept or thought is no longer about you, is no longer self referential (“I am scared”), and the focus has shifted from about you, to about what’s experienced (the emotion fear). Now there is the possibility for your experience to make sense.

 

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/aligning-thought-with-feeling

 

“I am scared” will never really make sense as in resonate, because you, in truth, are not afraid at all. Fear doesn’t describe you, fear describes how some thoughts, concepts or interpretations feel, to you. 

 

In noting this, different thoughts can be focused on, which feel more aligned. This alignment is of thought with feeling, and is the feeling, the feeling better, feeling inspiration, feeling assuredness, feeling connected, grounded, optimistic, etc -which is actually sought. 

 

If water is really what’s wanted, go directly to the faucet. 

If feeling (feeling better) is really what’s wanted, ‘go’ directly to alignment, to feeling. 

 

Alignment is really a dispelling of conditioning, and an uncovering and feeling as - yourself. Moving forward, moving out, attracting what’s desired in terms of friendships, relationships, career path etc naturally unfolds. Put another way, ‘tapping into’ that you are in fact the creator of your reality, and are not a thing, inside of a thing (states). 

 

6 hours ago, Philipp said:

 

Some question which I have is:

 

How much meditation is good? Is it bad to try to meditate for long hours?

Good & bad don’t apply to meditation. Meditation is allowing thoughts (good & bad) to come to rest, unfettering the true peace & unconditionality of Ourself. Be sincere & true with ‘where you’re at’ so to speak. If just starting, 5 minutes each morning might be ideal. Most likely, either meditation is experienced as relaxing, calming and clarifying, and with each day the sitting time is increased, or, some conditioning and or suppression come up and out via expression… and then the sitting time is increased.

 

None of this is ‘good’ or ‘bad’, or really about any amounts of time. It’s much more an unfettering of what you are not, which leaves the feeling of what you are, which was what was sought in the first place. 

 

6 hours ago, Philipp said:

 

How important is work? 

 

How important is to change your circumstances (moving out, trying to work, etc.)?

 

How important is therapy? Is journaling good enough?

 

How important is nature, pleasant experiences? ( Since I gotten depressed the noise of the city is very displeasant, when moving out I could chose between living closer to nature or closer to work, friends, family. I have a hard time choosing between these two options)

 

Should you seek enlightenment when depressed? (This tends to make me suicidal)

 

Any overal advice?

 

Sorry the hard post. Thank you for advice. 

That initial belief about yourself being in states is a self referential thought, which isn’t true, and functions as disconnecting from feeling (The Truth). What’s really wanted is feeling.

 

“States” conjecture is like Pepsi telling you how good Pepsi is for you. It’s got some fizzle & tastes sweet, while Pepsi makes some money and your health & well-being deteriorate. 

 

Therapy & journaling are mediums of expression. Ways of releasing discord & conditioning, and acknowledging & reconnecting with the emotions which have been conceptualized as ‘states’, thus inherently reconnecting with feeling, ultimately & simply feeling as, yourself. Yourself, ‘clarity’, is also unfettered / uncovered, as is inspiration, assuredness, etc. 

 

A shift will occur from pressure thoughts in terms of importance etc… to inspiration … naturally being / feeling inspiration & enthusiasm as well as clarity in regard to what you want to go about and how to go about it. The difference is the directness of communion with source as it were, via the removal or dispelling of a ‘middle man’ / ‘teacher’ and the conjecture of ‘states’. 

 

 

Overall advice…

 

Review diet. If looking for an easy more aligned & nutrient dense option try the Loophole Shake. 

 

Make a dreamboard.

 

Keep the emotional scale handy. Use it to express whatever comes up to come out to be let go with respect to meditation, and ‘getting out of your own way’ / what you want to create & experience. 

 

As this occurs peruse the meditations for what feels timely and aligned, such as acceptance, forgiveness, etc. 

 

On Self-Inquiry… likewise…  ’What is the feeling of being me’… as compared to ‘who am I’. 

 

 

More comprehensive on overall suggestions…

 

[Mandy]

Start with sleep, exercise and diet. Are you getting enough sleep, at regular hours mostly when it's dark outside? Are you using ear plugs if noise is an issue or asleep mask or darkening your room if light is an issue? Are you removing devices from your room at night? 

 Make sure you're getting 20 minutes-1 hour of exercise depending on how fit you are, walking is good, there are so many wonderful youtube videos with workouts if you don't have easy access to a  gym. Exercise helps sleep.

 

Cut out all refined sugar that's not negligible (like in stuff like ketchup or some dishes). Drink lots of water. Lemon water particularly has an awesome way of boosting your mood almost instantly. Dehydration will keep you stuck in depression and the cloud of thoughts blocks the simplicity of realizing you're dehydrated. Unhealthy food habits just dehydrate you more with all the added salt, sugar, preservatives. Eat more fresh fruits and veggies. Cook, meal plan, make simple meals that make it really easy and inexpensive to get healthy food when you're hungry. 

 

Meditate for 15min to an hour first thing every morning. Write and journal when stuff comes up, write down what you want. Before you go to bed appreciate a few things about the day and when you wake up write down what you're excited to do and or how you want to feel. The other decisions will follow and be much more clear when all the other stuff is in order. 

 

 

[Blessed2]

@Philipp May I ask how did you come across this forum and what 'spiritual teachers/teachings' you have been listening or following? How did you hear about enlightenment / spirituality? No need to share it if you don't want to, I'm just curious. 🙂

 

 

[Philipp]

@Blessed2  I followed Leo since I was pretty young, now I am 27.  I felt like the spiritual teachings to some extant where forced upon me. I was kind of addicted to his videos, but had no real desire for any of this.

[Reena]

Journaling is really good and having the right mentor.

[Philipp]

@Phil There is a pressure in my to accept myself fully and completly. A pressure to accept myself for exactly what I am.  Maybe even a pressure to let go of myself. This pressure is seems to be linked to a deep pain/fear. I am scared of the the pressure and the pain (it makes everything so meaningless, it seems to block me from everything, never able to genuinly connect and love something.) I feel so empty, I have become scared of suicide. I don't feel ready or capable at all to face this pressure. I am living with my parents. I have no financial stability. I have not routines. I have no place to exercice, ground myself, be alone. I have no guidance and I become extremely distrutful towards Leo. 

 

I could never forgive myself to kill myself. It would be the ugliest thing I have ever done. Causing my mother, father, brother, family and some friends this pain. But this pressure seems so much stronger than me, unbeatable. I feel so lost and scared. 

 

Causing my mother and father this pain feels unbearable. A week ago I felt some much pressure I told my parents everything. I told my mother that this might be it. I feel so sorry for having said that to her. To this day, she is behaving oddly (trying to be nice to me, but you can see a part of her is complete terror). My mother herself was depressed. To some extant my experience is triggering her deep wound, yet she was never able to trully heal her problem and I don't think she will ever be able to. I will only make her more miserable than she ever was. 

 

it feels like I am either loving everything or I will be forced to love nothing. But I absolutly no idea, all I feel this pressure and a complete disconnection from everything. 

 

Moving out and living alone could make the pressure become even stronger and even more brutal. 

 

I wanted to share this with someone who might understand. Thank you!

Edited April 8 by Philipp

[Phil]

On 4/7/2024 at 8:48 AM, Philipp said:

I followed Leo since I was pretty young, now I am 27

Sorry to hear that, and sorry for my prior involvement as a moderator. As I saw what was really transpiring I spoke up, and well, you saw the thread etc. 

 

3 hours ago, Philipp said:

@Phil There is a pressure in my to accept myself fully and completly. A pressure to accept myself for exactly what I am.

It’s not possible to accept yourself; you are already yourself. 

 

All of the notions of self-improvement, personal-development, increasing consciousness, levels of consciousness & understanding, are personal beliefs which purported as a teacher are an aggrandizing of the separate self of thought. Deeply manipulative & deceptive mental & emotional molestation, salesmanship… not spirituality. 

 

The pressure aspect is inflated from the manipulative use of “knowing” & “understanding” and the separate self of thoughts purported as an actual separate self in time, as a teacher, which “knows” and “understands” consciousness. 

 

The ‘task at hand’ was never about any of the lengthily and deeply manipulative & deceptive content revolving around a separate / finite self. It is now as it always was and will be so to speak  - the discord & alignment of thoughts. Emptying of conditioning, not adding concepts & conceptualizing. From the first word to the last, the “teaching” is deception. Brainwashing. 

 

3 hours ago, Philipp said:

This pressure is seems to be linked to a deep pain.

One of many aspects to “Leo’s teachings” is confusing ‘lack’ & suffering as deeply in the psyche as is possible, which is actually easily accomplished given countless hours to do so in. Again, like Pepsi convincing Pepsi is actually aligned, healthy and indicative of well-being. 90 minutes of Pepsi talk for years will definitly get this done, even in spite of the discord / suffering felt. There is no bigger red flag that SIBO, it is the most common psychosomatic dis-ease of discordant & indigestible beliefs, but it seems what is easily & readily felt and therein seen clearly a decade “ahead”, is not so easily & readily felt & therein seen clearly a decade “behind”. 

 

The pain is in fact suffering. The suffering & pressure is indicative of unresolved trauma, beliefs, and aggrandizing of the separate self of thought via “teacher & teachings” wise. It’s not even ‘your conditioning’ so to speak. It’s reinforcing, as opposed to weeding out, the separate self of thought “at your end”. Therein the pressure and pain indeed seem very real, suffering as the discord of thoughts (the “teaching”) is not considered, and the confusion profoundly depressive, suppressive, isolating and most importantly…  in need of a solution, and that is the sell for the product(s) offered as the resolution. 

 

3 hours ago, Philipp said:

I am scared of the the pressure and the pain (it makes everything so meaningless, it seems to block me from everything, never able to genuinly connect and love something.) 

Another aspect of the deception is that emotional intelligence exists, and - comes from experience. It will take some time to untwist the deeply distorting & isolating aspects of that, and to then acknowledge fear as emotional guidance for thoughts. 

 

3 hours ago, Philipp said:

I don't feel ready or capable at all to face this pressure.

That there is some thing, ‘the pressure’, which is going to be faced… that it’s anything other than the discord of thoughts, is indicative of “Leo’s teachings”, not reality per se, and certainly not direct experience. You are Happiness ALREADY. RIGHT NOW. The discord felt is of obscuring discordant thoughts. 

 

3 hours ago, Philipp said:

I am living with my parents. I have no financial stability. I have not routines. I have no place to exercice, ground myself, be alone. I have no guidance and I become extremely distrutful towards Leo. 

To the contrary, you are brave & progressive. There are many yet to see what you’re beginning to see & expel. 

 

Stability is only found within, and is the alignment of thought with feeling (Source if you will). 

 

The guidance of emotion never left & was felt with every video, every sentence, the inflection of every single word. Guidance need not be acquired as it’s intrinsically already present. There is but to listen, no longer suppressing & ignoring inherent guidance in favor of believing deception & contrived convincing conjecture. 

 

3 hours ago, Philipp said:

 

I wanted to share this with someone who might understand. Thank you!

I hear & feel ya and that’s easy to appreciate, but there’s no understanding mind game being played here. Understanding is the thought, ‘understanding’. Awakening is indicative of direct experience, clarity & transparency. Not egocentric manipulation, or, mind games. Hopefully not taken personally. 

 

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/spiritual-mis-leadership

[Blessed2]

On 4/7/2024 at 9:48 PM, Philipp said:

I followed Leo since I was pretty young, now I am 27.  I felt like the spiritual teachings to some extant where forced upon me. I was kind of addicted to his videos, but had no real desire for any of this.

 

Okay, I suspected that because of how familiar the things you shared sounded like.

 

The spiritual "teachings" shared on Actualized.org are very, very off. You have basically been totally mislead in terms of what spirituality, non-duality, enlightenment, ego, etc. actually are and what those concepts point to.

 

You have also been mislead on what fear is.

 

The same happened to me. You are not alone with these emotions, worry, fear.

 

What helped me a lot was staying away from all that content. I spent something like an entire year without visiting that website and youtube channel at all. Nowadays the nonsensery of those "teachings" is so clear that it's basically just sad (or laughable) to see it. I'd suggest you do the same. Just for the sake of how it feels, keep away from all Actualized.org content. It takes a moment to un-wire the beliefs and ideology you have been manipulated / mislead into. But you will see through it more & more as time goes by. And it feels great.

 

 

[Philipp]

Thank you for the replies, I apreciate everyone who took the time!

 

It is hard for to process a lot of this information, and I trie to start by make use of the most important. If I feel better I could engage with more of it. 

 

My priority is to move past the feelings of fear, grief, worthlessness, uncertainty (lots of that) and guilt.  It seems somewhat working that aligning my thoguhts with those feelings and accepting those emotions can make the suffering a little bit less. 

 

Still what confuses me is that I very much would like to not be stuck at the bottom of the emotional scale. Yet I got the impression that aslong as align myself with those feeling there is nothing to be improved. Also except exercise, nutrition and some meditation, I got the impression that you were saying nothing else matters. Moving out does not matter. Working does not matter, etc.  Did I mistunderstand this? Also are desires (=dreamboard) just there to create a change in scenery without any actual effect OR do they actually allow yourself to move up the emotional scale? 

 

I have a lot of questions regarding Leo/ Leos teaching, the use of psychedelics and mystical experiences such as ego death, but I have to focus on feeling better first. 

 

 

[Blessed2]

57 minutes ago, Philipp said:

 

I have a lot of questions regarding Leo/ Leos teaching, the use of psychedelics and mystical experiences such as ego death, but I have to focus on feeling better first. 

 

Some of those questions about Leo, psychedelics, mystical experiences and ego / ego death might be the very stuff that is causing the suffering you seek relief from!

 

[Phil]

1 hour ago, Philipp said:

Moving out does not matter. Working does not matter, etc.  Did I mistunderstand this?

One could think / say “moving out doesn’t matter” and live with mom & dad for the rest of their life miserably, or happily. 

 

Another could think / say “moving out doesn’t matter”, and therein be liberated of any discordant thoughts or thought attachment about moving out, and enjoy moving out and the autonomy, freedom & independence that comes with it. 

 

It’s up to you. The suggestion here is listen to feeling. Go with what resonates (inspires, begets enthusiasm, excitement, eagerness, passion, etc) most. 

 

If the desire is to move out, and there is discord (apprehension, concern, etc) - these are limiting discordant beliefs to be let go (simply based on that they don’t resonate). The more the discordant thoughts / beliefs are let go… the more what’s wanted is manifesting & the more there is natural enthusiasm. 

 

1 hour ago, Philipp said:

Also are desires (=dreamboard) just there to create a change in scenery without any actual effect 

Preferences (desires), which are thoughts, are intrinsic to experience. Simply by default of being, and therein experiencing, preferences arise. It’s sheer brilliance & perfection, and this brilliance & perfection is you.  

 

“Actual effect” is also connotational. There is apparent manifestation, there is not actually causation / cause & effect, or, a finite thing which causes an effect unto another finite thing. Obviously it seems so, but in truth there is no separation. Again this is the sheer & profound beauty and wonder of your being as, Being. 

 

 

As an example, I wrote “Cabin” on the ol dreamboard. As preferences arose around the main desire or preference (cabin), like ‘all wood & stone’ (no drywall or plaster), at least 10 acres (no other houses right nextdoor), min 3 bedrooms, lots of woods, has a basement, etc… the preferences were written on the dreamboard under the word ‘cabin’. 

 

I let go of discordant thoughts about this cabin manifesting. I focus on aligned feeling thoughts about this cabin manifesting. I acknowledge emotions felt as guidance, in regard to this cabin manifesting.

 

I am not inside of a body, I am appearing as ‘a body’ just as I am appearing as ‘everything else’, including, the cabin which is manifesting. It’s not that there is a cabin somewhere, such as on the other side of that wall. It’s that I am what’s on the other side of “that wall”, appearing as, “that wall”. I am what manifests as, “the cabin”. 

 

A realtor manifests, right out of ‘the woodwork’. Cabins start manifesting. I look at a couple, and preferences get more acute & specific. Alignment is occurring with respect to manifesting. It’s like, (“Phil”): I like this, but not this and this and that. And (“Source”): ok, cool, no problem, here. 3rd cabin is an exact match to the 20 - 30 preferences written on the dreamboard under the word ‘cabin’. Phil: that’s it, perfect, names it True Nature.

“Trails so long you get smaller & smaller until you inevitably disappear”. 

 

What about the money!?

What about the time involved!?

All manifestation. 

“Phil” as well. 

 

DREAM BIG!

 

1 hour ago, Philipp said:

My priority is to move past the feelings of fear, grief, worthlessness, uncertainty (lots of that) and guilt.  It seems somewhat working that aligning my thoguhts with those feelings and accepting those emotions can make the suffering a little bit less. 

Suffering is of thoughts. Discordant thoughts. 

Suffering is not of you. 

Some thoughts feel discordant to you, and that is what suffering is. 

 

You’re appearing such that you have a free mind, and you can focus on what resonates and or what doesn’t. Enjoy the freedom, and nip discordant thoughts in the bud / let go swiftly, rather than dwelling, complaining, loathing, trying to solve, figure out etc. 

 

Pain is of the body, is sensation, and can be pointed to. Like going to a doctor and pointing to a twisted ankle. 

Suffering is not local / localized / because you are not local / localized - and suffering is how a thought feels to you - so suffering can not be pointed to. 

 

A consideration… rather than ‘move past’… feel fully. Feel inwardly directly right into. Non-aversion. 

‘Move past’ carries a connotation or implication of “this as is isn’t good enough”. 

Allowing this as is to be enough, begets realizing you aren’t the separate self of thoughts, in time. 

You are appearing as This, right now (only). 

All that will manifest will manifest 

 

1 hour ago, Philipp said:

 

Still what confuses me is that I very much would like to not be stuck at the bottom of the emotional scale.

You’re not on or in the scale, right?

It’s for alignment. Thoughts, with feeling. 

Feeling - singular, not feelings, plural. 

 

Feeling is appearing as thoughts. 

 

If one is willing to acknowledge and express the next emotion on the scale, on is never ‘stuck’. 

The top of the scale (love, happiness, etc) is you. 

 

It’s like… there’s still some conditioning, some discordant thoughts. 

Scale is used. Expression is allowed. Discord is emptied. 

Top of the scale is the same you (love, happiness, etc)… just… without the discord of discordant thoughts. 

 

1 hour ago, Philipp said:

Yet I got the impression that aslong as align myself with those feeling there is nothing to be improved.

do they actually allow yourself to move up the emotional scale? 

‘Myself and those feelings” can get confusing. 

Aligning thought with feeling is simpler. 

 

Feeling never changes btw. Thoughts change. 

 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Nothing which could be or needs to be improved. 

There is conditioning. Beliefs about yourself. 

Alignment, the scale, is for those beliefs / thoughts. 

 

1 hour ago, Philipp said:

I have a lot of questions regarding Leo/ Leos teaching, the use of psychedelics and mystical experiences such as ego death, but I have to focus on feeling better first. 

Maybe look into & consider micro-dosing, and listen to content that resonates. Abraham Hicks, Rupert Spira & Byron Katie comes to mind. What they share will inherently clarify the misgivings of act.org. The main difference is they’re sharing ‘leading you to You’, and not trying to convince you of anything about them. “Leo’s teaching” is about, “Leo”, and following “Leo”. 

 

I’d go so far as to say that if you spent one day listening to Abraham Hicks, you will be like wow, omg, what a difference. 

[Reena]

1 hour ago, Philipp said:

Thank you for the replies, I apreciate everyone who took the time!

 

It is hard for to process a lot of this information, and I trie to start by make use of the most important. If I feel better I could engage with more of it. 

 

My priority is to move past the feelings of fear, grief, worthlessness, uncertainty (lots of that) and guilt.  It seems somewhat working that aligning my thoguhts with those feelings and accepting those emotions can make the suffering a little bit less. 

 

Still what confuses me is that I very much would like to not be stuck at the bottom of the emotional scale. Yet I got the impression that aslong as align myself with those feeling there is nothing to be improved. Also except exercise, nutrition and some meditation, I got the impression that you were saying nothing else matters. Moving out does not matter. Working does not matter, etc.  Did I mistunderstand this? Also are desires (=dreamboard) just there to create a change in scenery without any actual effect OR do they actually allow yourself to move up the emotional scale? 

 

I have a lot of questions regarding Leo/ Leos teaching, the use of psychedelics and mystical experiences such as ego death, but I have to focus on feeling better first. 

 

 

I would say first get the basics right before focusing too much on Leo. I made the same mistake and paid terribly. 

 

[Reena]

@Philipp also I would recommend you Patrick Teahan for emotional guidance work. 

[Rose]

On 4/7/2024 at 4:25 AM, Philipp said:

How important is to change your circumstances (moving out, trying to work, etc.)?

During Covid, when we were working from home everyday, I got super depressed and incredibly unmotivated. 

The first few weeks when we were starting to get back to the office once a week, I was shocked at the huge contrast and how my depression went away.. even just the first time I went back I felt a 100 times more motivated..
 

To me.. changing circumstances was everything 

 

Edited April 12 by Rose

[Phil]

@Rose

What was the difference which felt better?

[Rose]

On 4/12/2024 at 3:33 AM, Phil said:

@Rose

What was the difference which felt better?

Lots of things.. dressing up, waking up earlier and being nice to my body (instead of sitting in my pjs all day), being amongst people and expressing myself, staying off the phone for the whole day..

 

I also live by myself.. so it was very isolating for me during Covid.. if I was to live with someone I would probably be doing all those things anyways..

Edited April 13 by Rose

[Phil]

@Rose

Feeling good about yourself, in comparison to as yourself, comes to mind. ♥️