Deep Depression: overall advice

[Rose]

1 minute ago, Phil said:

@Rose

Feeling good about yourself, in comparison to as yourself, comes to mind. ♥️

It could be.. one of my trips I saw my inner world as a cafe.. but it wasn’t empty.. it had people in it whom as I described “where there so that I don’t slack off”.. they were just peacefully drinking coffee, but for me knowing that they are there made me more “productive”.. kind of like knowing that there is police there..

 

It is also my biggest inner conflict - wanting to be free and be myself all the time while at the same time needing acceptance of “others” whom I assign as authority..

[Phil]

@Rose

Bit of a habit of judgment, and suppressing the discord of how it feels?

[Rose]

11 minutes ago, Phil said:

@Rose

Bit of a habit of judgment, and suppressing the discord of how it feels?

Definitely suppressing

 

But how is it related to judgment? I am judging myself through the eyes of others?

[Phil]

22 minutes ago, Rose said:

Definitely suppressing

 

But how is it related to judgment?

The illusion of knowing - mistaken identity as the separate self of thoughts, the knower / understander. “The one” which knows and or understands good from bad, right from wrong. 

 

To ‘eat from the tree of the knowledge of good & veil’ is to veil yourself with thoughts / beliefs.

 

That’s why you said it’s the only thing you shall not do, for surely if you do, on that very day you will die.

 

In that sense, you’re dead right now. This is not Living. Aliveness. Pure ineffable Magic. It’s knowing “I am”, and what everyone and everything is.

Hella-lame 👎🏼.

 

“Die” in this sense is more like exist without the Aliveness, Beauty, Unconditional Love, Total Fucking Awesomeness that you actually are. Sure, the day will unfold, carry on, bird’s will be chirping, people be walkin & talkin… but it’s the matrix, not per se Reality. 

 

22 minutes ago, Rose said:

I am judging myself through the eyes of others?

Suppressing is related to judgment in that judgmental thoughts are met with emotion, and the emotion is acknowledged or not. 

As emotion is acknowledged, why some thoughts feel discordant reveals the truth / true nature of you. 

As emotion is not acknowledged, thoughts continue to seem true to a separate self of, thoughts. 

 

‘Judging myself through the eyes of others’ is projection of discord. Judgmental thoughts are directly experienced, as is the discord (suffering). 

 

There is literally, absolutely, unequivocally - no one judging you. 

Those thoughts are felt (directly) too, and the guidance of emotion is ever-present, never-absent. 

 

Just a suggestion, but, start right now. Don’t say or do anything, not one word, not one thing, don’t take one single step - without first acknowledging the guidance. 

[Rose]

On 4/13/2024 at 2:39 PM, Phil said:

Just a suggestion, but, start right now. Don’t say or do anything, not one word, not one thing, don’t take one single step - without first acknowledging the guidance. 

I don’t know how to do that.. I don’t know what the guidance feels like 

 

Although I guess that’s not true, I experienced it while tripping.. maybe I should try and listen for it 

Edited April 14 by Rose

[Phil]

@Rose

It’s not really a doing, but a Being. 🙂

 

Ever worried? If so worry was the felt-guidance, inherently in how worry feels - the guidance of worry is ‘saying’ - you don’t have to worry. 

 

Same for anger. Same for doubt. Etc. 

[Rose]

5 hours ago, Phil said:

Ever worried? If so worry was the felt-guidance, inherently in how worry feels - the guidance of worry is ‘saying’ - you don’t have to worry. 

 

 

Ok….. so me being worried is a reminder from guidance not to worry……?

 

lol, I am getting dizzy 😂

[Phil]

@Rose

Like, why don’t you put your hand on a hot stove? The burn.

Why let a thought or interpretation go if worry is felt? The suffering. 

[Rose]

3 minutes ago, Phil said:

Why let a thought or interpretation go if worry is felt? The suffering. 

What if the worry is legit? For example, I worry I didn’t lock the door when I left.. if I try to let go of the worry.. then I won’t act on it and go back home and lock my door 

 

and thank you, that explanation makes sense!

[Phil]

@Rose

That would be a justification / justifying worry / justifying suffering. It’s conditioning, in that it’s placing a collectively learned way of thinking, about how you yourself feel. It very literally makes no sense as in doesn’t resonate - and simply because it doesn’t resonate. It’s the same as logically justifying holding your hand on the hot stove. You can just remove it. 

 

The example sounds hypothetical, but I’d first consider… was your mind elsewhere so to speak (possibly habitually worrying) or was there mindfulness / presence (non-worrying, non-suffering) in the first place… and therefore maybe you wouldn’t have forgot to lock the door. 

 

Letting go of worry doesn’t equal not taking action. The opposite is very much the case. Alignment of thought with feeling is like creating a channel of inspiration. You could think you might have forget to lock the door and just check it. Worry is not required. It’s an energy, mood, outlook, health, relationship & sex drive zapper and totally unnecessary. 

 

There is no need, use or sense in worrying about what you can change, nor in worrying about what you can’t change. Worry-free inspired action is great for what you can change, and love, even more so. Worry-free natural unfettered peacefulness is great for what you can’t change, compassion even more so. 

 

Intuitively, which resonates more in terms of not only taking action, but inspired effortless enjoyable action…. eagerness, enthusiasm, optimism, passion… or… worry. (Cue bummer trombone sound clip & Debbie Downer pic).