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Phil called me "emotionally shallow" and this hurts


Reena

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I don't remember how long ago but Phil called me "emotionally shallow" and this judgement is stuck in my head ever since and it hurts a bit. Not much but still. I'm very emotionally deep, at least in my own eyes. 

 

How to deal with the feelings of inadequacy and hurt that arise in me as a result Of this judgement? 

 

So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. 

My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. 

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3 minutes ago, Reena said:

I don't remember how long ago but Phil called me "emotionally shallow" and this judgement is stuck in my head ever since and it hurts a bit. Not much but still. I'm very emotionally deep, at least in my own eyes. 

 

How to deal with the feelings of inadequacy and hurt that arise in me as a result Of this judgement? 

 

Could you please quote & paste the words you are referencing? 

Thank you.

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Just now, Phil said:

Could you please quote & paste the words you are referencing? 

Thank you.

Give me two minutes to search. 

So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. 

My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. 

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@Phil I had deleted the topic but I remember you calling me that. 

So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. 

My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. 

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11 minutes ago, Reena said:

I don't remember how long ago but Phil called me "emotionally shallow" and this judgement is stuck in my head ever since and it hurts a bit. Not much but still. I'm very emotionally deep, at least in my own eyes. 

 

How to deal with the feelings of inadequacy and hurt that arise in me as a result Of this judgement? 

 

 

A good way is finding something you could care about in life. This way you stop thinking only about yourself at all times, as well as grow and develop emotionally.

Fingers crossed you find this something 🤞

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@ThePoint just because someone appears stoic and calm doesn't mean they are emotionally matured. This is a stupid western concept and idea. 

 

And just because someone gets emotional easily doesn't mean they aren't emotionally developed. 

 

We have opposite in our culture. If you don't have emotions in our culture then you'll be labeled autistic. 

 

So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. 

My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. 

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I don't understand.

 

Where have I ever mentioned anything about stoicism, calmness, cultures, and even more interestingly 'having or not having' emotions?

 

It has nothing to do with the question of whether you are 'developed emotionally' or not.

 

It's about you getting offended by something someone said. 

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11 minutes ago, Mandy said:

The identity or ownership is why it hurts. 

 

What does emotional depth mean? 

I want to ask what emotionally shallow means. Because that term doesn't register common sense or logic to me. 

 

Emotions as they are by their own virtue deep or have a certain intensity to them. People can experience them on varying intensities depending on personal disposition and their ability to process a situation as well as the gravity of the situation itself. 

 

Now I would consider most emotions as deep as they impact a person on a certain level to a certain degree. 

 

So nobody can be emotionally shallow in the absolute meaning of the phrase. It's like saying something is "brightly dull" or " hugely small."  it's a contradiction in itself. It takes a lot of labor to feel an emotion to begin with. So emotions can never be shallow or else they won't be emotions. 

 

Regarding shallow character, I have seen people who pretend emotions. They can cry if they want to because they want to manipulate people around them. In this case the emotions at the basal layer are completely absent. Only facial expressions are created for rhetorical effect. Like if someone cried at a funeral and next day they went shopping for diamonds. Their overall actions would be a good indicator that their emotions were faked at the funeral. This means the person never actually felt those emotions. Sometimes narcissistic people do this to make others feel for them and to control people emotionally. 

 

However it's not easy to tell if a person is faking or not. It takes time, vigil, intuition and some detective work to sort out genuine expression of emotions from fake displays. But it takes a really keen and trained eye to do this. 

 

Regarding emotions, when they are felt, it's obviously real, that's why they are felt. Depending on how people consume an emotion, they can either display them excessively (tears, laughter, anguish, anger) or not be able to display them at all yet experience it bursting inside. The latter is harder to detect since the person is able to keep a calm demeanor despite festering emotions within. 

 

I don't think there's anything called "emotionally shallow." It's a misleading phrase with no real meaning to it. 

 

 

So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. 

My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. 

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17 hours ago, Mandy said:

The identity or ownership is why it hurts. 


People who think identity or ownership is the underlying problem for everything are stuck thinking the Divine Feminine is the end of the path rather than one trailhead or avenue of the path. For these people the I becomes the Devil. That evil I lol. I'm not saying Divine Feminine integration isn't useful, I've integrated it and re-integrate it on occasion -- but it's not the stopping point on the path in my opinion. If you want to impress me integrate the Divine Marriage (Marriage between the Divine Masc and the Divine Fem) or the Marriage between the human and the Divine or the Marriage between the Integral and the Transcendent. These are higher pathways to explore in my opinion, and many people never even become conscious that they exist. They're blocked for some reason.

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On 1/27/2024 at 8:19 PM, Jonas Long said:

Yep

Is this comment at me? And what do you mean 

So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. 

My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. 

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On 1/27/2024 at 6:49 AM, Jonas Long said:

Yep


Lol.  You misquoted me.  Crafty.  I don’t think people who think are blocked.  Quite the opposite.  It’s people who don’t think for themselves that are in trouble in my opinion. They’re able to be manipulated by craftier people.  The craftiest people will redefine truth for you so you don't even notice what they're doing.  Your point is well taken too though, the issue is nuanced in my judgment.  There's a wobble in the thinking vs./and no thinking duality.  It just depends.

Edited by Joseph Maynor
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9 hours ago, Joseph Maynor said:


Lol.  You misquoted me.  Crafty.  I don’t think people who think are blocked.  Quite the opposite.  It’s people who don’t think for themselves that are in trouble in my opinion. They’re able to be manipulated by craftier people.  The craftiest people will redefine truth for you so you don't even notice what they're doing.  Your point is well taken too though, the issue is nuanced in my judgment.  There's a wobble in the thinking vs./and no thinking duality.  It just depends.

Who are these wobbley people who don't think for themselves?  

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