2024 - Responsibility and FUN things

[Reena]

 

Chronological order 6

 

 

Edited January 6 by Reena

[Reena]

 

Chronological order 7

 

 

 

Edited January 6 by Reena

[Reena]

 

 

Chronological order 8

 

 

 

Edited January 6 by Reena

[Reena]

 

Chronological order 9

 

 

Edited January 6 by Reena

[Reena]

 

Chronological order 10

 

 

 

 

[Reena]

 

Chronological order 11

 

 

 

[Reena]

 

Chronological order 12

 

 

[Reena]

 

Chronological order 13

 

 

 

[Reena]

 

Chronological order 14

 

 

 

[Reena]

 

Chronological order 15

 

 

 

Edited January 6 by Reena

[Reena]

 

Chronological order 16

 

 

 

 

Edited January 6 by Reena

[Reena]

 

 

 

 

 

                                                

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited January 6 by Reena

[Reena]

 

Noon Timetable 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited January 6 by Reena

[Reena]

 

 

Night timetable 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited January 6 by Reena

[Reena]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited January 6 by Reena

[Reena]

 

 

 

It's 7 pm right now on my watch. 

 

I cooked chicken today. I felt good. Like I was full. After many days I was able to enjoy a full meal. It was the result of my hard work on the farm early morning. I was paid a bonus. Although it wasn't much but it was sufficient. I still feel some degree of food insecurity. I get panic attacks. I just try to get by. Just don't think too much. Whatever it is, try to get by. 

 

I feel better that I created a time table. At least I will know how to organize time. 

Afternoon I took a 15 minute nap and used the farm fertilizer bag as a pillow. 

 

I'm losing hair and I feel weak. 

 

 

I feel tired too. A bit stressed out. I have a ton of cleaning work pending on the farm and I have been putting off. 

I also have to manage expenses in a way so I don't lose the money I earn. I get tempted to buy all kinds of health drinks. I imagine it to be doing some good to my body but these drinks are expensive. The cheaper ones are pure poison. 

 

 

The sun has already set. It's 7.30 right now. The sun set long ago, I guess. 

 

I have suffered severe malnutrition over the past few weeks. For some days I survived on just 1 egg a day. Today for the first time I have been experiencing cramps in my legs. Its probably because of the prolonged malnutrition. 

 

 

The pharmacies are open even in the night. 24/7 pharmacies only. 

In case if I need meds rather urgently. I'm still a bit panicky. Next week is my psychiatric appointment. I already feel anxious about the appointment. 

It's Winter here and it gets very cold. I need to get a blanket and or a sweater. I don't know want to suffer again.. 

 

Feeling this insecure can be terrifying. I'm holed up in my flat right now, my only security is my house. My safe space where nobody can bother me. I should be grateful for this feeling. Morning when I woke up I was trying to wake up from a nightmare. Then I looked at my phone and calmed down. I thought I have a place to live. It was terrifying, my anxiety making everything much worse. 

 

I have to pay some bills this month. Do the farm cleaning work. Look for healthy alternatives. 

 

 

I haven't been sleeping for a whole week now. I barely slept 2 hours a day. 

I feel like I am at the end of my rope. My brain just shuts down. 

 

Edited January 6 by Reena

[Ceejay]

4 hours ago, Reena said:

 

 

 

It's 7 pm right now on my watch. 

 

I cooked chicken today. I felt good. Like I was full. After many days I was able to enjoy a full meal. It was the result of my hard work on the farm early morning. I was paid a bonus. Although it wasn't much but it was sufficient. I still feel some degree of food insecurity. I get panic attacks. I just try to get by. Just don't think too much. Whatever it is, try to get by. 

 

I feel better that I created a time table. At least I will know how to organize time. 

Afternoon I took a 15 minute nap and used the farm fertilizer bag as a pillow. 

 

I'm losing hair and I feel weak. 

 

 

I feel tired too. A bit stressed out. I have a ton of cleaning work pending on the farm and I have been putting off. 

I also have to manage expenses in a way so I don't lose the money I earn. I get tempted to buy all kinds of health drinks. I imagine it to be doing some good to my body but these drinks are expensive. The cheaper ones are pure poison. 

 

 

The sun has already set. It's 7.30 right now. The sun set long ago, I guess. 

 

I have suffered severe malnutrition over the past few weeks. For some days I survived on just 1 egg a day. Today for the first time I have been experiencing cramps in my legs. Its probably because of the prolonged malnutrition. 

 

 

The pharmacies are open even in the night. 24/7 pharmacies only. 

In case if I need meds rather urgently. I'm still a bit panicky. Next week is my psychiatric appointment. I already feel anxious about the appointment. 

It's Winter here and it gets very cold. I need to get a blanket and or a sweater. I don't know want to suffer again.. 

 

Feeling this insecure can be terrifying. I'm holed up in my flat right now, my only security is my house. My safe space where nobody can bother me. I should be grateful for this feeling. Morning when I woke up I was trying to wake up from a nightmare. Then I looked at my phone and calmed down. I thought I have a place to live. It was terrifying, my anxiety making everything much worse. 

 

I have to pay some bills this month. Do the farm cleaning work. Look for healthy alternatives. 

 

 

I haven't been sleeping for a whole week now. I barely slept 2 hours a day. 

I feel like I am at the end of my rope. My brain just shuts down. 

 

Yes, I am drinking Pepsi on a daily basis. But, I probably would quit it soon. I am currently abstaining from alcohol and smoking since this new year and is planning to always remain sober till the rest of my life.

 

You journaled that you have an appointment with psychiatrist and is feeling very anxious and afraid. I don't know your backstory and I have not been following you. I was an inactive member of this forum for a long while... and I started visiting this forum only from yesternight onwards.

 

A friend of mine is diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Do you have any specific psychiatric issues? Did you suffer any trauma? Were you the one who said was severely damaged by Leo Gura's content from Actualized, or was that another girl?

[Reena]

3 hours ago, Ceejay said:

Yes, I am drinking Pepsi on a daily basis. But, I probably would quit it soon. I am currently abstaining from alcohol and smoking since this new year and is planning to always remain sober till the rest of my life.

 

You journaled that you have an appointment with psychiatrist and is feeling very anxious and afraid. I don't know your backstory and I have not been following you. I was an inactive member of this forum for a long while... and I started visiting this forum only from yesternight onwards.

 

A friend of mine is diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Do you have any specific psychiatric issues? Did you suffer any trauma? Were you the one who said was severely damaged by Leo Gura's content from Actualized, or was that another girl?

Sorry I don't know about that. But have a nice day. 

[Reena]

 

I slept off. The last post I made was at 7.30, it shows as 7 hours ago. 

I felt awful. I didn't sleep well. It felt like something was troubling me. Some sort of an  anxious feeling. But I slept which is a miracle. I'll have to finish some clerical work related to the farm sales records. 

 

 

[Reena]

 

I worked for a few hours after which I was terribly tired and slept off. I don't even remember when I fell asleep. It just happened. I was so exhausted. 

I will try to sort out how I need to spend money for groceries. I only want to buy what's really essential. I was too tired to go to the store.