Ceejay

@Phil Thanks.

Okay. "And then what?", or "what next?" -- are also thoughts with an assumed subject. So there is no aversion other than an assertion (thought). The labelling of the feeling (using emotional scale) is a thought, isn't it? But if it is used without it getting in the way, it doesn't get in the way, and represents an aligned thought. Okay.

I don't understand what you actually mean by "nothing happening". You use it very often. Can you rephrase it, whilst retaining the intended meaning?

Yes, agreed. Already tried that. It only creates more discord, and things tend to quickly escalate, with doors being closed and more cut off from each other than before. When we communicate minimally/only-functionally, there seems to be greater mutual alignment.

Form is formlessness. Formlessness is form.

Nothing. Nothing. Maybe the implications of the statement "nothing's happening" is not getting fully felt and/or fully explicated. Which is unalloyed happiness without subject and object.

I think it was Peter Ralston who said "Reality is an infinite sandbox".

How so? Exception to what? Admitting this one. Yes. Because it is nondual. Didn't get what is meant here. What is an assertion? "Where" as in, can it be pinpointed like something objective? The location of it? Are you being grammatically correct, or did you miss any word in between, because I don't seem to get what you meant here. How do I? Then?

Because there is no one to do and nothing to be done The some one who would do anything is a subject. And something there to be done is the object. I don't know, if this resolves my original question.

Plus, whenever I release my pressure valves.. and beliefs... and become softened with him... he too becomes softened with me (he is a soft guy who loves me) recognizing my state... and this creates resistance in me.. as I naturally act more lovingly towards him... which wasn't typical until this point... (i used to create much ruckus and arguments and I think I am attached to that image or who I was)... Reluctance to let go detected.

I think I have shadow issues regarding my father. He is so restrictive and has numerous psychological issues and is on medication. I suspect that I have aversion towards him. Since, both him and me, are "strange folk with strange intuitive abilities"... sometimes when serendipitous or synchronous moments occur... I over-think/over-read that experience to the point of suspecting that my father (and sometimes other people I think as very perceptive) would be reading my vibration... and this includes the secret thoughts that I harbour... or that are being harboured in the subconscious without getting a release yet... It's like I feel that I cannot keep any secret.. or secrets cannot be kept... and if someone is highly developed intuition-wise, they can read others' intentions/secrets, albeit they wisely choose not to tell the party concerned.. This is not a problem, if I realize that my father is not judging me.. but he is a judgmental type, and that is what creates the tension... I know I need to release aversion to my father.. My father's toe nails have some sort of infection.. and it is in a weird shape.. I have aversion to this... you know, this feeling of aversion is palpable... and it increases when I try to release my gripe with him... Of course, everything that I said above are thoughts.. which presume a subject-object duality... I know that, and when I am in a meditative mood, such thoughts won't occur... But I said what I said, in this thread, so as to get some insights from others regarding some of this, and approaches to work with this.. or question such thoughts...

In the attempt to "empty myself of thoughts/beliefs" I bump into fantasties/desires, which I could spell out to myself. Then I could ask them the Byron Katie set of questions like: Is it true? What happens when I believe this thought? etc. For example: I want to move to another city and meet new people. Is it true? What happens when I believe this thought? Why do I want to do it? Who wants to move to another city and meet new people? .... Such questions tends to descontruct the subject and the object. Therefore, dissolving the very desire itself. If the very desire itself is dissolved in the inquiry of it, is that a good sign (that there is nothing then to write on the dreamboard at that time)?

by releasing that belief.

@Phil Okay.

I need 7-9 hours of sleep. I have heard Sadhguru say that he usually sleeps around 3-4 hours and that is enough for him. He considers "rest" is important, whereas "sleep" is negotioable. Ramana Maharshi also reportedly slept like 4 hours or something. The Zen Buddhist meditators are notorious for sleep deprivation. Martin Ball had a sleep crises, whereas his "off switch" got broken and didn't slept for 11 days or something, and states that not being able to sleep is truly hell. A spiritual guide of mine slept like 5 hours everyday and meditated/did-yoga for 1-2 hours every morning and says that meditation could substitute sleep to some extent (but not entirely). He also says that sleep is necessary for the consolidation of memory and so on. Why do different people need different duration of sleep in order to feel fully restored? How much do you need?

@PhilHow many folk usually are present in a call? Is it necessary to ask a question, can't I just be a spectator, if no questions naturally arise? Will try to join next time, for the first time. How many minutes does a usual call last? Are there two calls on the same day, the coming March 30? If so, why is that? Is it recorded?

What is a "lemon take"?

Oh that's what might be happening. And thank you. I guess... and for people who does not have the sufficient understanding and awareness to recognize it as what it is, they might be the ones' acting it out (as in committing some crime) and getting busted.

Yes. Thanks for these approaches. Yes.

Yes, it's not real and knowing that is a relief. Like those shizo images happening to Josh Nash in A Beautiful Mind. But that's an extreme example of course. I don't have that much of a problem. And I think this will cure more as I heal more.

I was going to say it might have to do something with OCD or something, and then I read your response in the other thread (Dealing with intrusive thoughts), and you predicted that. Cool. But I am what I am, so can't help be logical.

@Phil Okay, thanks.

I tend to get intrusive violent, or sexually inappropriate imagery/thoughts... or thoughts about saying something awkward to someone, or doing something harmful... these thoughts happen without my wanting it to happen.. during my intense period of addiction, I had even intrusive violent thoughts about own self.. now that i am sober and meditating daily.. it has reduced (and possibly is reducing i think) I don't act on these thoughts of course.. but they happen sometimes.. I generally try to shun them using my mind.. or make it less sharp by framing it in different ways...

This belief should be questioned. You don't have to socialize the way your brother socializes or do everything like he does. You have your own unique identity and you need to find out your own exclusive method of socialization and style.

I think many folks, including even those who consider themselves to be 'theistic', adopts ever the more fully the materialistic paradigm, and it's resultant belief that "committing suicide" is possible, and all they have to do is to make the body stop breathing and the heart stop beating by any of the various methods. They totally assume that it is the end of life, and there is nothing after that. Therefore, as far as these folks are concerned, "what death holds" is NOT "assumed to be unknown." The totally assume that death is THE END.