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I don't think I´m ever taking psychedelics again

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I took 45mg of 5-meo-dmt, I know it was a big dose but I was at the verge point of my life, I was going to this findom humiliation session with a 'goddess' and I couldn't take the darkness anymore, I went straight to LIGHT, load up the dose, up my ass and straight sit in sirdahsana and put myself "Aim Namah Shivaya" mantra and stood there like a warrior to face whatever it should be faced.


Until... it hit me. But this time like no other.


Absolute horrendous time I had, because I was completely confused at what was going on, nothing existed but this present moment, I could not handle the Brutal Love. I think this is what happens with psychedelics, you force yourself and then you are not ready for the TRUTH.


Then I started shouting like a madman, for 20-30 minutes. The thing is, I am sharing the house with the landlord, now im coming down the trip and I start again to have self-doubtous thoughts about myself "What would she think of this? Will she kicked me out"?


The Love that I experienced is no longer here. I am doubting it. Why I am not anymore feeling the Love? The ego mind is again talking breaking This Love... and tomorrow of course it will talk more.

Will I remember that it was all pure Love? That all differences were created?


That Reality is absolutely freaking perfect because is all a 'trick' of God to forget it is God? Lol


Fuck psychedelics. I don't think I´m doing this again lol

Edited by ConsciousDreamer666
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Note the back and forth thinking movements, thoughts like "I'm feeling like this so I need to do this to escape it". But there's no excluding anything, only vibrationally moving towards what's wanted, which is never done in the motivation of escaping darkness. Feel the emotional guidance and clear the slate before you move to something else. It's not a world of poison and antidotes, it's a buffet just for you. 

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23 hours ago, ConsciousDreamer666 said:

Will I remember that it was all pure Love? That all differences were created?

Thanks for sharing! There isn’t really a forgetting or remembering, or any differences created. ‘There’s’ an illusion of a knower which knows there are differences & remembering. The illusion starts with the knowing of “here”, based on the presupposed thought ‘there’, and then… “I’m here”.


Love seems brutal & horrendous to the knower, which there isn’t. That’s the message. The love that is has never been experienced. No one’s doubting. Doubt’s an emotion. Doubt is love. But not to the knower that it isn’t. The knower needs to know something else in the absence of doubt, which there also isn’t. 



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I have been guided to deter away from the toad / 5-meo or synthetics in general. Often you only need a small "nudge" back to presence and doing too much can send our nervous system on overdrive and the excess energy can cause "burnout". Stick to Mushrooms, Cactus, Iboga, Aya (within respectable dosages).


Careful not to feed the mind with substance because then you only feed the mind, inner-freedom is more about fasting than feeding then adjusting the middle.

Edited by Pluto

If you immediately know the candlelight is fire, then the meal was cooked a long time ago.

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