Struggling to Meditate

[Celestial]

Just wanted to see if anyone had any perspectives on this:

 

I know that meditation is the way. I know I'll inevitably feel better if I meditate everyday.

 

Basically, I'm struggling with actually sitting down and meditating everyday. Not too sure why, but it doesn't feel good and it feels like this resistance that needs to be washed away. 

 

Its ironic that I've completed a 10 day retreat yet sometimes I can't sit for 2 minutes. 

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Has anyone experienced anything similar? 

 

How do you turn meditation into a joyous "activity"

[Orb]

I totally get what you're saying. As stuff clears up (Emotional energies / discordant thoughts) sometimes energetic tantrums can come up (feeling resistance to the practice, freaking out, falling for the same discordant beliefs but not noticing.)

 

My advice (And I wanna start doing this more too 🙂 ) is to actually meditate for 20 mins when that resistance comes up. Just sit with it. 

 

I find the most chill days where I don't freak out are when I meditate at least 20 mins a day. 

 

Also, you have every right to wanna feel good! Do something that feels great and vitalizes you and then go into meditation or whatever practice you do. 

Edited April 12, 2023 by Orb

[Mandy]

Just take each thought one at a time, and see how fun it is that you can let it go. "This sucks." "I'm not enjoying this." "I'm just gonna get up." "I can't mediate." Nope, you can't mediate. You just see the difference in believing the thought "I can't" and getting up, and and seeing that the thought can be let go of. The thought of you, isn't what's believed, and the thought of meditation as being something that you do, can't be believed either. 

 

16 minutes ago, Celestial said:

Its ironic that I've completed a 10 day retreat yet sometimes I can't sit for 2 minutes. 

No, you didn't do that either. Just like it's true but not in a defeating way at all, that you can't mediate. 

 

16 minutes ago, Celestial said:

How do you turn meditation into a joyous "activity"

Just in letting go of the thoughts, you remember your freedom and the cork rises on its own, it's like remembering that you know how to fly in a dream, but you've just been thinking you're too heavy the whole time, thinking you're something you're not. It's funny. If the thought comes up "meditation sucks", "I don't enjoy meditation", don't believe it. It's the feeling guidance responding that say "NO, that's not true, don't believe it!" but you're still thinking the thought and thinking the feeling guidance is evidence for it, not the indication to just drop it now. Like the hand on the stove analogy, you wouldn't believe that your ineffectiveness and low pain tolerance is the problem while keeping your hand on the stove, you'd just immediately move your hand. 

[Celestial]

@Orb Read your post, I'm going to take your advice and go and meditate now for 20 minutes. 👊

[Celestial]

@Orb Appreciate ya! 🙏10 mins into the 20 minute sit I decided to sit for an hour instead. 

[ConsciousDreamer666]

Just a tip: being sit with your eyes closed doesn't mean you are actually meditating.

 

Meditation is a result of an already quiet mind and pleasent body/Asana.

 

Learn siddhanasana, learn how to sit and hold the body in such a way that you sitting you just feel stable, relaxed and grounded. THEN from that place, meditation *can happen.

 

Notice that I said meditation can happen, not that you try or force yourself to meditate.

 

 

[Celestial]

@Mandy

8 hours ago, Mandy said:

Just in letting go of the thoughts, you remember your freedom and the cork rises on its own, it's like remembering that you know how to fly in a dream, but you've just been thinking you're too heavy the whole time, thinking you're something you're not. It's funny. If the thought comes up "meditation sucks", "I don't enjoy meditation", don't believe it. It's the feeling guidance responding that say "NO, that's not true, don't believe it!" but you're still thinking the thought and thinking the feeling guidance is evidence for it, not the indication to just drop it now. Like the hand on the stove analogy, you wouldn't believe that your ineffectiveness and low pain tolerance is the problem while keeping your hand on the stove, you'd just immediately move your hand. 

So so clear. 🫶

I didn't realise that I was constantly believing that meditation is a chore, I also didn't know that feeling guidance was so precise.

 

So this whole time I was believing that meditation is difficult and a struggle, but actually, that was the feeling guidance letting me know that the thought that "meditation is a struggle" does NOT resonate.

I was overlooking the feeling guidance in favour of believing the thoughts, all while assuming that the feeling guidance was proof that the thought was true?  

9 hours ago, Mandy said:

No, you didn't do that either. Just like it's true but not in a defeating way at all, that you can't mediate. 

This confuses me a little bit. I think I'm missing the pointer.

[Celestial]

@Mandy When I was sitting earlier, occasionally something like an unknown sort of sadness would come up, or other times a feeling like there's a pit in the stomach area. Nothing bad, just noticed while I was sitting. I didn't notice any direct thoughts that could have been associated with the sudden sadness. 

 

What would be the approach here? To just feel the sadness bubble up and pass?

 

[Celestial]

@ConsciousDreamer666  

Definitely feel like I'm more meditative some sits over others. Sometimes when I sit it definitely doesn't feel "meditative". 

But some people say that the only bad sit is the one you didn't do.

How can you tell if you're actually meditating or not? 

[Mandy]

1 hour ago, Celestial said:

This confuses me a little bit. I think I'm missing the pointer.

It's ok to appreciate yourself and appreciate the things you've done, but it's not going to resonate to believe that meditation is an accomplishment, whether in the retreat setting or everyday. 

1 hour ago, Celestial said:

@Mandy When I was sitting earlier, occasionally something like an unknown sort of sadness would come up, or other times a feeling like there's a pit in the stomach area. Nothing bad, just noticed while I was sitting. I didn't notice any direct thoughts that could have been associated with the sudden sadness. 

 

What would be the approach here? To just feel the sadness bubble up and pass?

 

The thought calling it sadness could be examined, I'm not saying it's wrong in anyway, but stay with what is in the meditation. When we become still sometimes we're confronted with things that we use perpetually thought and activity to avoid, but the essence of them is Good, and that's ok.

 

Meditation is like allowing a muddy pool of water to clear, allowing the dirt to  settle on its own and the water to become clear again. You can't get in it, try to beat it into submission, jump around and wonder why it's not clearing faster for all your effort, all you're doing it stirring it up. 

 

You also can use expressive journaling, and a lot of stuff that comes up in meditation has an outlet and is seen that way, when thoughts are invited to flow and be seen, and you can get let loose and go crazy. If meditation seems like a forced repression of that, it's a desire coming up to express, make time for expression. A lot of good ideas or clarity about things wanted will strike you in meditation, that's great. You're present with how the thoughts feel, you're coming back to your breath again and again, always new and for the first time, always completely innocent, feeling for the first time. 

 

[Phil]

The thoughts are a story about a self. 

Awareness is prior to, aware of, the story. 

[ConsciousDreamer666]

3 hours ago, Celestial said:

@ConsciousDreamer666  

Definitely feel like I'm more meditative some sits over others. Sometimes when I sit it definitely doesn't feel "meditative". 

But some people say that the only bad sit is the one you didn't do.

How can you tell if you're actually meditating or not? 

Because it feels blissful, 'light', completely effortless.

 

In my experience, the moment there is some kind of control, effort, 'trying', or separation, I get up from the cushion and go about my day. I won't be a single second 'suffering' in "meditation". No, for that I already have the rest of the day. 🤣

 

Make sure that when you sit to meditate you have a very alert mind but a relaxed system.

 

I repeat myself too much but I can't stress enough how important is to learn a bit about Yoga to have a reference point of what is actual pleasantness of body and stability of energies. Once you learn that, there will be no questions about 'How to Meditate'.

 

Edited April 12, 2023 by ConsciousDreamer666

[Lehrling]

13 hours ago, Celestial said:

Has anyone experienced anything similar? 

Absolutely all the time.

In my way of looking at it.

If its nit coming intuitevely, let it rest and return when it does automatically. Not by planning.

[Celestial]

15 hours ago, Phil said:

The thoughts are a story about a self. 

Awareness is prior to, aware of, the story. 

I feel like I can understand this on a conceptual level but it's not a lived understanding. 

[Celestial]

@Mandy

Really appreciate your replies. Thank you

[Celestial]

@ConsciousDreamer666

I'll have a look at some yoga, do you have any YouTube channel recommendations? 

[ConsciousDreamer666]

1 hour ago, Celestial said:

@ConsciousDreamer666

I'll have a look at some yoga, do you have any YouTube channel recommendations? 

I have learned from Sadhguru´s programs. Most of them are paid programs but there are some free

 

 

[Celestial]

@ConsciousDreamer666

Awesome, thanks.

[WhiteOwl]

One thing that really helps for me is doing it first thing in the morning. Before you check your phone or start to plan the day in thoughts. 
If i sit to meditate mid-day while “the day” has a lot of momentum, its very difficult to settle thoughts. Doing it First thing in the morning gives a lot of momentum, and dont worry if you have a lot of thought acticty in the first 10 min, that usually settles after. 

[Celestial]

21 hours ago, Lehrling said:

Absolutely all the time.

Glad I'm not the only one 😅

 

21 hours ago, Lehrling said:

let it rest and return when it does automatically

🙏

Thank you for your reply.