I am gonna make it short without long talk.
You all as individuals got 2 things ( yes, thoughts Phil, leave it be ) going on.
You have a boundary preserving mechanism and a boundary expanding one.
Those 2 must not contradict eachother, but they can if certain subdivisions of belief collections, under you as whole, are not ok with one expanding.
If the necessary expansions aren't made in a time, your actions resulting will lead to an unbalancing support cause of unfairness and suffering.
Ethics is not an identity game to ruin your fun, it is your internal measure and process of how in alignement with Good your belief prioritasation is.
In other words, if you are able to reflect and expand your belief system at a given time towards one which is more encompassing with regards to harmony without cognitive pain or despite cognitive pain. Is how well your ethics are, or how ethical you are.
In other words, how well you are able to prioritize expand your belief system towards a less selfish one from a more selfish one.
Good day