Reena

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@Solipsistic Consciousness thank you so much for understanding that I wasn't respected on Actualized.org for the longest time. Yea I married this forum because here I'm happy. Home is where the heart is.

@Solipsistic Consciousness you can pm me about the details. Also your pm is disabled.

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Don't be attached to negativity. Don't take things personally. You're no better than the ones that you complain about. I'll leave you with this - Everything is the self. Either something will attract me positively or negatively. If something attracts me negatively, just leave that page. How about that? Go to a page and navigate to a page where you are positively attracted and positively engaged. Let the negativity just die down. If someone's self expression is hurting you, then you got bigger problems than anyone else. In any situation, learn how to switch off reaction or response Always tell yourself - there's no need to react or respond. Let's create a culture of tolerance and understanding, instead of always trying to find a fault or flaw. Tell yourself - I'm peaceful with my husband.

I'll say this - let people be themselves instead of judging them. As long as I'm not watching them, they have no impact on me. Understand that all kinds of people live under the sun. Instead of always wanting things your way, understand and accept reality and try to achieve states of mind where you don't let reality bother you much. Your problem lies in engaging with something with the intent to change it and then feeling the frustration that reality doesn't suit your needs. Welcome to the world.

@MetaSage no idea what you're arriving at. I don't know how something can absorb your energy when you don't focus on it. Both positive and negative things exist. How you handle both depends on your mental fitness. People who are tough can handle negative stuff easily. It could be that you are sensitive. "people whose presence is generally disempowering"... I don't know how someone is disempowering you, examples please? Just throwing vague statements like that doesn't help the reader understand your situation. Be more specific and real life examples oriented. I didn't watch Harry Potter and I don't plan to. So don't give me art examples. If you are in a toxic family, friends etc, talk about that.

Charlatan Con Artist Manipulator Exploiter Takes advantage of vulnerable people to make money. Leo Gura Deceiver Grifter Crafty Because of you Leo and your toxic teachings, people cannot follow real spirituality because they remain stuck in your fake spirituality that brainwashes them. How long will you keep conning people? One day you'll be exposed by someone.

Why do you focus on them? What you choose to do with your focus is your own responsibility.

And I cannot forget Manny.

Feeling the right emotion in the right frame or time. Super important.

I thought about Manny again. He is the only love of my life. And everytime I think of Manny, I escape into a dream world, and these songs swim through my mind.. https://youtu.be/BwLbI9Oj7BM https://youtu.be/xN5hY51EImg https://youtu.be/YY-qI8P1Nu8 https://youtu.be/DTaARfaVWfg https://youtu.be/ZlPGf2KaxCk

Brian Nox is a good source. Today I felt pressured to talk to someone on Snapchat in a sexual way. They weren't letting go. Constantly trying to make the conversation sexual even when I wasn't interested. It felt boring. I wasn't ready. It's pathetic when people openly flout your boundaries despite you telling them a strict no. Why are people especially men this way? Why can't a No be taken as a no? Why do men justify their horniness so openly yet when women do the same thing, they're labeled slutty? I'm working on my impulsivity. These days. Focus on the beautiful and the positive. When there are so many beautiful and positive things, why focus on the negative. And people who are negative to others, really what kind of people are they anyway - either immature, aggressive, narcissistic or just with nothing better to do. Probably jealous or just people who are never taught to be nice. Remember decent people (not necessarily good hearted, at least they possess social calibration and know how to respond, bad or good is a different ballgame) will never act like this. In reality however, people who act like assholes online can be helpful or genuine. Not everyone who lacks social calibration is bad hearted.. Don't be carried away and deluded by sweet words. First way to control impulsivity is to re-read your own post 3 times before posting. Do that. I have to remind myself that I have BPD and I'm autistic. I'm sick and tired of all the judgement. Why do I justify myself so much to people? Why don't I feel truly confident in myself? I think if I develop confidence then I will not need to constantly please others or justify myself. I need to be able to say a hard no. Like fuck it. "whatever you want, I don't care" mentality because I have zero obligation and those who wanna stay, they won't keep blaming, it's another thing if someone is genuinely upset with me and it's totally my fault. But otherwise. Why does it matter if someone thinks bad about me? When you have low self esteem a lot of things can get screwed up. There is some sort of comfort in rejection. There's empowerment in rejection You tend to engage in self blaming when people gaslight you. It's a potent form of cultish psychological abuse. But when you reject on your own, you're no longer seeking validation in a parasocial relationship. You deny it. You deny its usefulness. When you reject something, you no longer feel bad, low, humiliated, discarded or guilty. It's up to you to reject something that is never meant for you. Don't give so much power to others that you begin to lose your own power. I'll use this ribbon a lot more. When you feel triggered take a deep breath, and surrender to that experience. Cupcake, sometimes you have to let go. I know there's an ocean of emotions inside of you. Also take breaks in between and write your planner sometimes

I think it's one of those things that are called holistic therapies, they work on your emotional system, some kind of a placebo effect, where feel good chemicals are produced in your body and these chemicals then bring healing. I've heard that certain therapies can release more anti-oxidants in the blood or better absorption of nutrients. I have more faith in holistic therapy like reiki than modern science because drugs don't address the root cause of a problem.

Nice. Awesome. Keep doing.

What are some examples of parasocial relationships?

Before being too positive about it, check for medical issues like - - do you have any sleep issues? - do you have sleep apnea? - do you have breathing problems? - how is your cholesterol, blood sugar? - do you eat heavy meals? - do you feel tired or stressed all the time? Naps are great for unwinding but if you are taking more than 3 naps during a 12 hour period, it's best to investigate the root cause of why you are needing so many naps. It's not that taking naps are bad, but needing more naps even after a regular 8 hour sleep is an indication that something else is triggering this need.

Brian Nox is a good source. Today I felt pressured to talk to someone on Snapchat in a sexual way. They weren't letting go. Constantly trying to make the conversation sexual even when I wasn't interested. It felt boring. I wasn't ready. It's pathetic when people openly flout your boundaries despite you telling them a strict no. Why are people especially men this way? Why can't a No be taken as a no? Why do men justify their horniness so openly yet when women do the same thing, they're labeled slutty? I'm working on my impulsivity. These days. Focus on the beautiful and the positive. When there are so many beautiful and positive things, why focus on the negative. And people who are negative to others, really what kind of people are they anyway - either immature, aggressive, narcissistic or just with nothing better to do. Probably jealous or just people who are never taught to be nice. Remember decent people (not necessarily good hearted, at least they possess social calibration and know how to respond, bad or good is a different ballgame) will never act like this. In reality however, people who act like assholes online can be helpful or genuine. Not everyone who lacks social calibration is bad hearted.. Don't be carried away and deluded by sweet words. First way to control impulsivity is to re-read your own post 3 times before posting. Do that. I have to remind myself that I have BPD and I'm autistic. I'm sick and tired of all the judgement. Why do I justify myself so much to people? Why don't I feel truly confident in myself? I think if I develop confidence then I will not need to constantly please others or justify myself. I need to be able to say a hard no. Like fuck it. "whatever you want, I don't care" mentality because I have zero obligation and those who wanna stay, they won't keep blaming, it's another thing if someone is genuinely upset with me and it's totally my fault. But otherwise. Why does it matter if someone thinks bad about me? When you have low self esteem a lot of things can get screwed up. There is some sort of comfort in rejection. There's empowerment in rejection You tend to engage in self blaming when people gaslight you. It's a potent form of cultish psychological abuse. But when you reject on your own, you're no longer seeking validation in a parasocial relationship. You deny it. You deny its usefulness. When you reject something, you no longer feel bad, low, humiliated, discarded or guilty. It's up to you to reject something that is never meant for you. Don't give so much power to others that you begin to lose your own power. I'll use this ribbon a lot more. When you feel triggered take a deep breath, and surrender to that experience. Cupcake, sometimes you have to let go. I know there's an ocean of emotions inside of you. Also take breaks in between and write your planner sometimes

@Solipsistic Consciousness the people who are looking for me you can tell them that I'm Cupcake on Actuality of being Forum. People seem to be looking for me on this thread. Tell them so their curiosity is satisfied and finish this lame chapter. https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/86400-infjs-hello/ And if they want to contact me directly, they can use my Snapchat contact name which is in the signature below.

Sometimes I feel terrible. Very frightened. Anxious. I used to get this terrible anxiety at Actualized.org. The bullying culture of Actualized.org. It's so traumatizing. Some people were fanatically obsessed with me. It used to make me ill. They would constantly visit my profile page. Like why? I'm not some criminal. Hounding me 24/7. I used to think to myself - will these people visit me even when I'm dead? Will they even believe that I'm dead? Or will they invent some conspiracy theory that I'm still alive? Because they couldn't get enough of hating me. Will they leave my corpse alone? Like why can't they control their obsession? It makes an anxious person more anxious and ultimately paranoid. Will my dying satisfy them? Will they constantly engage in conspiracy to delete me?

Regarding Emerald, I am her subscriber. I can reach out to her on her YouTube whenever I want. I don't need Leo's precious elitist forum for that, you know the one of a kind forum(chuckles). Tell Leo that I'm married to Actuality of Being and Actuality of Being is my husband, he can talk to my husband if he wishes to, Lmao. I'm glad I am out of Leo's dictatorial regime, he can have fun enslaving people under his cult. He labels people like me as "offenders." For a persecutor everyone is an offender, just like for a hammer, everyone is a nail.. Tell Leo that I'm very happy in my new place, he might be sick with worry, a truly caring person that he is after all. Ease his worries.

At this point I should just label all narcissists as trolls who are trolling me with their fake love and just be done with them. And their gaslighting. Goodbye narcissists. You won't have luck in having me. Your mind games won't work. I'll be with those who truly respect me and want me, who truly wish to understand me and want to create harmony with me. Rest can kiss me Goodluck.