Blessed2

That's already the case. It's like saying "be yourself" or "be in the moment". I am already myself and I can't be out of the moment. I am already feeling whatever arises.

If a medicine is functional, it's functional. It's taken and the cough is gone today. That's what medicine is. That's what it's for. If you could let go attachments, you would have already done that. Attachments would be gone now. "Just stop drinking" isn't the medicine for an alcoholic. Alcoholism means that you can't just stop drinking. If you could stop drinking, you would have already done that. Drinking would be gone now. Similarly "stop aversion" or "acknowledge emotions" is not the medicine, because the very implication in that suggestion is that aversion is happening and emotions are not acknowledged. Why is aversion happening and emotions are not being acknowledged? Wouldn't a functional medicine make it so that aversion and not ackowledging emotions would be no more? Not coughing is not the medicine for cough. It's health. The medicine is what ends coughing. Give me medicine, don't just describe health.

Better than for a long time if ever, actually.

Obviously no outside source has imposed.

Spirituality which doesn't impose impossible tasks on you. I know, I know, it's crazy. Blasphemy? Arrogance! Why are you not letting go attachments? Just stop! Sit down for a minute and just stop all attachment. Oh, you can't? Try again tomorrow. Maybe magically something changes and suddenly you can. Maybe after two years you can let go. Or maybe six years. Or ten. You just have to wait. A bit like when you take cough medicine. You keep taking it every day for five years and expect it to start working at some point. It's just stupid of you to expect for it to do it's job on day one. In fact, it's your fault that you haven't stopped coughing yet. Just stop coughing, dumbass.

The loneliness might be because "there are not two separate things" is interpreted as "then there is one separate thing." Which is still the same old duality. Oneness and unity is kind of pseudo-nonduality. Like for example, "everything is one". That actually implies that there are multiple separate things that are underlyingly one with each other. That's 'unity in duality'. It's pseudo-nonduality. Nonduality as a word doesn't say anything about what is. It states what isn't: duality. Pseudo-nonduality (oneness, unity of parts) always comes with a shadow of fear. Nonduality can not come with fear, because non-duality is already the case. You are not asked to give up or sacrifice anything.

What I was trying to point out was that if life was known to be unconditional and unlimited as it is, now, already, (all conditions and limits being only ever implied by thought), why would experiencing death be required to know that there is nothing in death that cannot be in life. What can't there be in life? What if life is unlimited? Maybe. Maybe "natural" in the sense that even trees and plants are actually in a constant war with each other. "Natural" in a sense that all bodies eventually become sick and dies. "Natural" as if war and sickness and death were somehow a great creation of love. Or maybe "natural" in a sense that everyone would experience the same emotional response (fear) to the same thoughts about death that you're believing. But "natural" as in that it's reasonable and justified and it's too much to ask to simply be happy? No. Don't settle. Fear of death is not "natural". Is it too much to ask to feel good? You think that God wills you to live in fear? God wills you to suffer? Is simple decency too much to ask? To this carefully prepared arena, where angry animals seek for prey and mercy cannot enter, the ego comes to save you. ²God made you a body. ³Very well. ⁴Let us accept this and be glad. ⁵As a body, do not let yourself be deprived of what the body offers. ⁶Take the little you can get. ⁷God gave you nothing. ⁸The body is your only savior. ⁹It is the death of God and your salvation. (ACIM, W-72.6:1-9)

What makes sense to me is that birth and death really is just a dream, and death has no function in terms of ending or concluding the dream in any way. It's just "more" of the same birth-death dream. In terms of ending the dream / uncovering Truth, the only function death could have is IMO to look at what role it plays in the dream, and contemplating what it might be designed to veil. Sort of like: "If a life of birth and death was the opposite of true life, what would looking at the role of birth & death in this life tell me about true life?" That's a fun contemplative trick that can really open the mind. It can be also be done with money for example. If money was actually the opposite of true abundance, and it's function was actually to perfectly veil truth of infinite abundance, what would looking at money tell you about true abundance?

Maybe. It may also be that there just is no such thing as death, and so there isn't really thoughts about death either. But that death is a thought. Not a human concept IMO. Death is a dualistic concept. And human is also a dualistic concept. It might not be a cessation of the I-though either. For example, "when I'll be dead...", "I will die" etc. I think that death is actually a continuation of the separate self of thought. This is what the pointing/teaching/message of reincarnation might point to. Kind of how there might be a glimpse to the true nature of reality / "no-self", but that glimpse is swiftly claimed by the activity of ego and then it seems like the glimpse is something that happened to me, in time. "I woke up". The "me" is not going anywhere in "my death". If death is actually just a thought, does that thought go anywhere even if death seems to happen? How could death make the belief in death disappear?

What if I know what life is? 🙂 What you're saying BTW is that there is something in death that cannot be in life, that is: knowing, certainty, truth. Death-worship. It really is one hell of a pickle. What does the concept of fear of death bring to mind? Is it something you must overcome perhaps? Is it some kind of an ultimate existential pickle? Terror, even? Keeping you awake at night?

One of the few thoughts about death that are not totally insane is that there is nothing in death that cannot be in life. Like for example, happiness, peace, freedom, release, rest, innocence, forgiveness, atonement, redemption. All of these are fully available in life. There is nothing in death that cannot be in life.

Love has needs now?

I'm not sure what you're asking 🤔

Cause there's a belief that death, and fear of death has some kind of an important, meaningful function. The largest religion in the world is actually death-worship. Why does someone have to die for sins? Why doesn't just making a cool skateboard trick pay for all sin? The ego confuses love with sacrifice, so that the ultimate love would require ultimate sacrifice. No. The opposite. Death isn't an emptying of anything. It's an add-ing. The belief that death or suicide could be some kind of emptying, a return to god, a healing, a union, a release, is death-worship. Death isn't an end to the game. It's just more of the game. Again, death-worship. The cultural story of mankind is pretty much that something is wrong, and someone has to die to make it right. First it was animals. Didn't work. Then it was random people and maybe kids. Didn't work. Then it was the Son of God himself. That doesn't really seem to be working either... Who next? Death is a projection of a mind that buys into duality. It's a tool of the ego it uses to supplement for God. First there is a pre-assumption that separation is the case. Then what follows is the belief that two must be united to regain unity. That something needs to happen, or be done to make two into one. And that comes with a shadow of fear. Non-duality states that nothing needs to be made into one or united, because separation has never occured in the first place. In fact, unity or oneness would actually be doubling down on separation.

Day 10. 2 x 30 monutes done. Walk done Gym done No drinking.

https://m.imdb.com/title/tt27503384/ That's pretty much what I'd call 'perfect', or what would fulfill all the "shoulds" I impose on myself. What my life should be like. What I think my parents would probably want my life to be like. In a sense also what I'd want for it to be like. But it's a pie in the sky really.

"Always remain open to grace." Basically, a new, better feeling thought can appear any time. A thought that changes everything. A new idea. A new possibility. In fact, if you only remember this, that new thought has already come.

Yesterday I learned that I have a huge red birth mark on the back of my neck. I always thought I didn't have any birthmarks. I kind of just tought of myself as a person who doesn't have birth marks. But apparently I do, and I've been walking around with a huge red mark in my neck, and everyone else has seen it, but I've been ignorant of it all these years. I wonder what that symbolizes.

I already did. There is a spesific hospital I have to call to which is determined by where I live. I can't be a client to other hospitals. I will probably call them again soon. They probably just didn't get the full picture.

Basically, mainly for bureucratic reasons. To get the note for therapy is one of the main things I want. This is what the other professionals I met first suggested. Because of the psychotic episode in the past, they said it's essential and acute that I see a psychiatrist asap. But the doctor seems to disagree on that. I don't have any doctor to suggest anything. 😂 I got the prescription over 2 years ago, and since I've moved to a new city and I'm not in contact to a doctor here.

I thought of the same thing, but that would be kind of a hassle.

That's what I tried to do, but the doctor didn't take me cause I had quit pills and wasn't interested in continuing or changing medication.

Yeah. But the doctor gives the note that would give me an access to financially supported therapy. Without that doctor's note, I would have to pay the therapy myself entirely and that's not possible. So it seems that the only way to have long-term therapy would be to also take pills. I can meet a therapist without the doctor's note for free a couple of times. Which would have been the first place I visited. I'll try going there again on monday and if they say the same thing again, I'll start throwing tables. Maybe that'll help. I dunno, I expected that a doctor would have been interested to even have a check-up as I'm quitting the pills which can be hard and I have a history of this stuff like a suicidal psychotic episode. I think it would be reasonable to check a bit that what's going on and consider a plan forward. I think the hospital staff didn't quite get the entire picture.

I just visited mental health professionals in a place where it's supposed to offer therapy for free without a doctor's note. When they heard that I was quitting pills and have had a psychotic episode, they right away stated that I was in a wrong place, that therapy isn't what I need (even though it's what I specifically wanted) and that I should contact a doctor ASAP. Then I went home, called the hospital and explained the situation. But they said that they won't send me to a psychiatrist, because I am quitting the pills by my own choice and I'm not looking to continue or change the medication. Basically, the only way to see a psychiatrist, to form a connection to mental health services, get therapy etc, is if I want to take pills. So they also said I was basically calling the wrong place, and that I should go to the first place I visited. Kind of an absurd situation.

What came in mind first was that thought = "this, not that". Thought always implies this, not that. But then I wonder that if there isn't this nor that, how can thought imply "this, not that"? What "this" is thought pointing to? Now I wonder if all thought is really just implying what isn't there. That every thought is actually false, like a false reality. Or not really even false per se, just what isn't there.