ConsciousDreamer666

That it exists without condition, kind of like empty space or air.

🤞💥Got it my friend @James123 I Will keep letting go of thoughts and ideas and conclusions until nothing is left ...

Well, I have suspicions that This Being can become enough Conscious and Powerful to generate their own blissful chemistry. With all due respect, I think you are spreading a victimistic, derrotist mindset. While I am not going to get discouraged by the opinion of a stranger in a forum, it would be good for you to inspect from where this limiting and depressing beliefs come from. As a side note, I have done over 500 Yogic Kriyas. You do not know the complexity and profundity of the human system. Yoga is an ancient super complex super nuanced science. Lifting weights is paleolthical engineering compared to doing Yoga, which would be more like Rocket Science engineering. It is very nuanced and complex and is where you start to really hack the system and go really profound. See, this is not about belief. I know the exploration I have done and I know what is worthwile to pursue in this life. Balance, Bliss, Dissolution, Perfection. That´s what is worthwhile. Rest is crap, rest is suffering, rest is rollercoaster of ups and downs. Is not true well being. But if you already are settling into a point so limited then you will not know true Ease and Liberation in this lifetime. So you have to set the bar, much, much higher than what you are setting it to right now. Much Love and is my wish and my blessing you realize is not About Being Super human, is about realising being human is Super.

LOL. Then what is the point of doing any spiritual work?? @Ceejay See, if after all the work you will still be a victim to the emotional compulsions, trauma memories of your mind, and be reactive to external situations, you might as well not meditate ever. The whole point is to get to an inner place that is so damn powerful and stable that nothing outside will touch you. Of course I´m not saying that will come easy. It might even take many lifetimes. But is the goal. Another way to put it would be to not experience fear. Or reduce fear to the maximum. oxycodone. But I don´t use it anymore regularly. @Phil Your point is that is all imaginary? Like Yoga is imaginary? In the same way I guess if one pops a psychedelic, and an 'apparent' effect is felt , is also imaginary. But the imagination seems to be very solid. Like I don´t feel I´m at a point to create inner blissfulness just with pure Consciousness or Will.

@Phil Yes 😊 Well, when I was meditating I got to a point where I was breathing so consciously, the air of 'outside' became 'my air', and 'my body' became and 'outside' body. The feeling of my body existing 'outside' material reality stopped, and I felt like my body was completely One with 'Material Reality'. It was a very deep feeling of unity.

👌Right. That resonates.

Just finished a meditation session, for some seconds it felt like they weren´t any boundaries between me and rest of reality. If I´m nothing and this nothing expands infinitely in all directions and creates forms and colours that means that I´m not separated from a human body that is 3000km from here? Because is all a field of nothingness. Is that non duality? Probably not because I´m trying to grasp it with the mind/conceptualizing 😅 But I thought in asking 😊

😅 I´m empty nothing , I already told you 🫠

That is my goal. I am not saying enlightment or awakening is not possible but I just changed goals. I realized if within I´m feeling bliss, untouchable, then whatever is happening on the outside is always good. Whatever life 'throws' at you, is just doesn´t touch you. Because one is stablished in this inner bliss empty non emotional state. I quit all drugs to pursue Light and Freedom. The drugs were getting in the way, they showed me what is possible, but they stop working fast. Now I am alone with reality. Clean, sober, with lots of doubts. Can this be done? Can I find a 'key' to trigger this inner bliss, this purity, this innocence, this emotional untouchability ? Because this would be it. If I just can produce something like this within, then yes. Life is lovely. I can go full throttle on life. So what are your views on this. Reality is unlimited, it should be possible. A lot of people would tell you 'of course no, you can not live in a state like that as a baseline' but those are just limiting thoughts. Reality is not limited. I am working on producing an inner key that will produce this inner Bliss at will. Something related with the third eye, yogic mudras and Prana.

right, guys, NOTHING is happening! I´m not real.

The title says it all

Of course, the human physical body will stop working. The heart will stop pumping blood. The body will become 'soil'. Earth stuff. But I mean OUR BEING. What if this being is actually nothingness, and we exist nowhere, in this nothing love? Sometimes I get that sweet feeling, yeah, that this is truly 'our' dream. Our love. Our nothing. 😩💙💙💙

Something similar used to happen with me with femdom fantasies. After a lot of thinking and strategies I end up realising is just something like this, yeah: A sort of karma-energy that is being imprinted in you. In my experience, what only truly helps is spiritual energetic sadhana. If I were you I would not waste my time getting entangled with it. Release and feel what is needed but overall look for ways to over power those dark energies. All of what you are saying is so similar to what happens to me with femdom humiliation lol. Crazy how all minds are actually the same.

Love 💥

Today I had a shocking AHA moment! I do a daily Yogic spiritual technique, is similar to meditation, and in the last step you are supposed to just 'focus on your breathing'. Suddenly the incredibly clarity washed all over me that I COULD CHOOSE (had the freedom) TO FOCUS ON SOMETHING 😍 = I am not the body or the mind or any conceptual 'physical' thing. Freedom, freedom, freedom. When that clarity came, I started to realize I didn't have to stay identified with the body anymore, so I just stopped believing thoughts 😍 😍 😍 😍 and completely merged with the breathing. 😍 😍 😍 Breathing only existed. 😇Blessings to you all. Freedom might be possible.

If most men that struggle to get laid is because they are not masculine enough and high value females discard you at the minimum trait of weakness or lack of masculine authority and confidence, can we certainly confirm that women are 1. Tougher than men 2. More raw, crude and survival oriented than men (instead of valuing things as personality affinity, hobbies, etc...). As a man, I feel I've always rejected this crude truth. But it has come to a point where I think I have started to REALLY accept it. Something dies inside you because deep down you had this hunky Dory narrative about that women can love you as you love them (just as you are, with your good things and bad things, and taking into account basically physical attraction and personality). But it seems those things does not really matter significantly to females. Is more..."are you going to give me what I really want/need from a man? Or not? Because if not all your fancy personality things don't matter at all" And I realized I'm no one to judge what women really need. I realize...ok I can not judge them from my male perspective. I was born with a penis, not a vagina. With this body I was born with a predominant masculine energy , I can't really know the struggles and fear that women might have, so who am I to say what is important in a male. Whatever they are actually attracted to, I will respect And it seems raw attraction from males is that. Protection, leadership, owning them (in a positive way, not in an abusive way), to finally be able to let go and trust his man. To strength and confidence, raw power. Ok It makes sense, and is painful to see it, I never transmitted this values to most women. It makes sense most of them rejected me. Now that I have accepted the hard truth I will be able to give them what they actually need. Before I used to judge "Alfa males" but I know realize it was a judgement towards masculine energy. Well, not more judgements. Some of us that have had problems with attracting females have to really embrace this energy and give it to them (females) finally. Accept the role they want. Make them feel safe and lead and "holded" between our arms. Of course this kind of narrative might not be like by some feminists but is where we are right now. I mean just look at the war, we are nowhere near a conscious planet yet. There is still the jungle rules, there are still wars, bullying...etc. and so female attraction goes still for the most basic important traits that will make them feel safe. They don't care about your zodiac sign affinity, your hobbies, personality, or even if you are physically appealing. They care that you won't be a sissy bitch. They want a strong confident leadership Alfa man. If you are triggered with that you might be a sissy in denial. Attraction of females is raw, crude, this is the jungle, if you don't give them what they actually need you don't matter. This might sound harsh but notice we are talking about chimps (males and females are just evolved chimps) attraction. Love as disney movies told you does NOT exist between romantic/sexual partners. Is impossible. The faster we accept this the less painful surprises we will face. 💔

Good, bratty bitches online remind me of it every day 🤐

Thanks for the message, that clears for me a lot of things. I definitely overreacted, I've been thinking about it and I could have just not cared when she told me she only wanted to be friends. But no, my fucking mind had to make a complete fucking horror movie that lasted 7 days about it. @Mandy Overall your message has given me an interesting perspective on women, appreciate it. @Reena "Only natural males". Bro. Like are you calling me a sissy or what? Seems you are fucking with me in that post by calling me feminine man. Lmao get the fuck out of here bitch. I can do the whole ordeal of treating you like my puppet but I expect more from women, I can do that in bed (and even there it has repercussions ) but outside of that I expect you to be a full fledged human being not just a cute object for me to play with. Like, I can be masculine, but is so clear to me that is a very high price to pay. One can get into that role for a date, two, etc... But at what price. I find hard to believe that women expect always that from a man. *can't unquote

women live longer because they do on average much less physical demanding jobs.

So basically after so many rejections of women I´ve adored, I realized that the fact that you might idealize her is not attractive for them. So basically instead of bathing myself in that infatuating super pleasure feeling of love, I need to not 'attach myself' to any girl. Well that is not fun! I can do that, but what a fucking sad existence that is. The WHOLE POINT of seeking women and getting into relationships is because I can NOT generate that blissful infatuating feeling of love and perfection, and when I met a girl that 'clicks' that inner chemistry start to be generated (as a projection to her, of course, but who cares, the fact is I am experiencing that pleasurable state), that shit is better than any drug. It seems women do NOT want this, or maybe another perspective: The fact that you might be feeling this amazing loving inner chemistry does NOT mean she is feeling it. This is my suspicion: For her to feel a good inner chemistry, you actually CAN NOT feel a good inner chemistry. You need to become a non-attached, masculine, not project any value to her, so she feels whatever the feminine needs to feel from a man, in order to feel attracted. Then she will get that good inner chemistry state from you and then she will be attracted. But, the mindfuck is that then the male inside they won´t feel love towards her, because he had to deny that love in order to become 'masculine' and 'strong' so she could get attracted. So they point is, the relationship game is fucking shit because women are scared to be with a man that opens itself to love. They still are like living in the jungle, they reject and deny love from a man! They want a strong and survival oriented man. This is also seen in sexual excitement. Last girl I met, she was crazy for master-submissive talk. When I didn't give a shit about her and treat her like a submissive cute object she was crazy attracted, once I started to feel love for her and open myself more, she lost total attraction. Relationships are fucked. The whole fucking point about relationships is getting that sweet feeling of love inside you. If the male has to surrender that in order for the girl to get attracted, what is the fucking point lmao?? I´m so disappointed by women. They are fucking scared all the time. Is so fucking sad. They always want the same. Masculine strong man, so they can feel safe and lead by them. Great, now you have a man empty inside. You will never feel connected to him by expecting this behaviour from them. Keep being scared of love. See what that leads you. How fucking ridiculous. Will you ever get that the man is a slave to you? Whatever you expect from us, we will deliver. If you expect this survival chimp stuff, this is what you get. So do not complain afterwards. A man that had to reject and deny itself loving you because you hate men that actually love. You deny love. You are scared of love. Your heart is not open. Is sad.

Here's what I think: This hunky dory perspective of love is not real. I should just accept she is in this sinister macabre word of being HUMAN, and Humans try to bully and humiliate when they can if they have certain tendencies. She saw me WEAK and she thought I was a complete subhuman loser. She didn't have any respect for me and considered me complete shit. What if that is truth and I just have to accept that? If I have the balls to accept the game, I will finally open my plexus solar chakra and will stop being a loser and I will have respect for myself because I will treat this game as is the fucking jungle. Because it definitely seems like it.

This dark energy I am going to describe is what I have been feeling-being possessed by most of my life, since I can remember. Is only when events like this that happen, that it gets triggered and appears to the surface in very clear ways. But this last experience triggered in a way that I didn't knew possible. Today I am better, but the last 6 days I have been experiencing a brutal hell, EXTREME emotional suffering, to the point I was in the verge of existential trauma. Expiring 24/7 non stop beliefs about myself that I am not-life , not-worthy , not-love. I don't know how I have survived feeling that. I need someone to save me of this fucking nightmare. Basically, I met this girl 2 weeks ago, I had an awesome interaction with her the day I met her, we kissed and made out. The following week we texted and I had a thrill (and also her). And then at Sunday we met again. The date in my view was good, but the next day she texted me saying she had an awesome time but would not like to go further and would like to stay friends. This message really crushed me, I know there is nothing wrong with that, but that message it triggered this dark-soul crushing energy of not being wanted from girls, that I was terrorised to feel again. (last time it happened was with another girl 8 years ago). The next days I started thinking about the second date. Then I realized, there was subtle anxiety, fear and doubtfulness through the whole date. This was the obscure energy I have inside and I was in it, subtly dominating me and not letting me being a man and feel loved. Of course she might have sensed that through the date and she lost the desire/wasn´t attracted to me. In fact through the whole date I displayed some people-pleasing / validation-seeking traits. Now it makes sense that she didn't felt attracted. Ok, I accept that. I wasn't able to be free of the dark energy, so that happened. But what even tortures more is that I can remember now that at some points on the date, I gave her a compliment, and she found funny the way I complimented her. A word I used. In that moment I was not aware I felt that obscure energy again. But now contemplating about it, I did. In the same moment she laughed, I instantly inside felt she was laughing of me, making fun of me. I even said that to her, but not in a very emotional way, more like it was nothing. She replied saying something like "I laugh about everything, is my filosophy. " Now thoughts about that compliment have come back. I can not cut them off. I really feel they are true. I was a loser and not enough of a man, and she took advantage and laugh of me. I only want to feel I am the same Love as the love/acceptedness I project to her. But I don't know how to do it. The fact she rejected me because of not being man enough and being weak-doubtful through the date (I only kissed her when we went home), makes me think is true. I am a loser, I am inferior to her, she is better than me. She is life and worthy to life, I am less than life and unworthy in an inherent way. This is a nightmare. How do I fucking get out of this insane energy of inferiority and self unworthiness? Especially towards women. Please HELP

I wonder how come this two get inter twisted together in such a crazy way. NSFW explicit talk incoming, but I need to be explicit to explain my case properly: Lately I´ve been cleaning up my 'sexual diet' and I am practicing more healthy, vanilla, normal, no-difference projecting like sex, sometimes I get 'attacks from the ego' and I go/enjoy going back to a certain feeling of self-destruction that by some weird reason feels good (until it doesn't). In this one attack I go into twitter and I search a famous humiliation goddess. I click on a video of her and I start to masturbate. In the video she says something like: 'The plan of today is taking your money while I laugh at you' I remember spending last summer on this absolute bitch about +200$. I got traumatized of the way I feel this absolute whore manipulated me. But also after one year I enter again in his profile and is that perception of manipulation and abuse that at the same time got me crazy horny. At this point and while watching the video, is all those thoughts of feeling she enjoys taking advantage of me, or humiliating me, that puts me on edge, and I cum hard. And while I am cumming I realize, this is fucking insane, how the fuck I am living like this, is like you realize this is literal the worst psychological pain a human can endure. It feels like deep down they are beating you to death. What I think this pain is, the belief of certain thoughts such as 'I am such shit human being she really wants to hurt me and humiliate me' and several of those. I belief there is a certain conditioning that have been imprinted, who knows why, by childhood trauma or genetic trauma or who knows, but this shit is fucking insane.

It´s quite frustrating that when I get high, it seems my usual thoughts and emotions or whatever you want to call it, that tortures me, don't exist in that state of consciousness. When I get high I feel protected, safe, a sense of innocence, yes that's it...I finally feel not guilty! Oh how good it feels.... And I appreciate the opportunity to feel this but I would like to feel like this all day not just occasionally with drugs

is getting pretty shit unfortunately since im working downtown lately each day...but if I eat at home, my diet usually consists of honey, tahini, quinoa, avocado, eggs (occasionally), hummus, tomatoes, rice, ...etc and something else I don't remember