ConsciousDreamer666

Love is scary. Can not let go so easily. Dropping the illusion is no joke

This calls are more useful than what you might think if one listens with open heart. Had a great 'aha' moment when talking to Phil on Saturday call. It really felt like that for the first time I disappeared and only pure Love and Perfection was left. the moment it killed me was when he said "imagine there is only Love and there Is no self" . 🤨 Something happened there. yesterday night I looked in the mirror and I couldn't recognise a self. Looked at my hands and I did not know where I was or if 'I' exist. I tried too touch my hands trying to find a self, desperate to exist. But I couldn´t. I might not be real after all. Hahah 'I' might be a construction within the Infinite Oceanic Dream of Love.

yes 'we' are 🤭

As always with that twisted curled up language that is great to feel like you are saying something super complex and profound but nobody understand: Great tricks of manipulation. Is very simple. As I said, if you guys invalidate the question of death by saying is an "assumption", then I am saying, jumping off a balcony is fine because death is 'an assumption'. So what is it? Is it an assumption or is it more like a fact? Not at all, I was just using an example to let you see guys how the way you are employing language is not that accurately. The fact that you know want to gaslight me by saying that is 'spiritual bypassing' is a cheap shot by your part. Gurus love to instantly make the pupil feel inferior or that is not doing things right, the moment the guru is challenged by what is saying. Again, making me feel like 'I´m dumb' by saying this things. ... Is impossible to acknowledge emotions, they can only be utterly destroyed. Again you are trying to make yourself like you are in a throne of truth and im doing bad things...so tiring. Yeah im so conceptualising dude, ive only done hundreds if not a thousand hours of spiritual practice last 2 years. But you know more than me always. Ok... Another cheap shot. Lol. And you are a 'Guru' that approaches about love. But again saying that what I write is 'utter nonsense'. Yeah dude, you are so 'above me', and im 'dumb'. Sure, dude. Sure. You love to throw those words always to gaslight the alumni on why they are not 'getting it'. Great manipulation techniques. Sure, because you know all the things on the universe... you say what spiritual concepts and right and what are not...you have a massive ego of knowledge, you feel so above us is concerning what you are doing. Is incredible the level of mental manipulation and gaslighting you use. Thank god you showed it to me so clearly and intensely with this last post so I can truly stop coming to this forum for advice. The moment people ask something that goes against your narrative you harshly gaslight and manipulate with those words as suppression and spiritual bypassing to null the person and make them feel dumb and wrong. Is not cool what you are doing. But whatever. Keep feeling like you know everything about life and know more than everybody else.

You guys are right, but you have to give a break in the sense that we act on presumptions all the time. If a presumption does not have a certain % of truth value attached to it, we just don´t jumping off the balcony? Anyways the belief that I will die or I will hurt my body is a presumption. Literally the thing that was giving me most peace of mind to fight suffering is the 'fact' that I (as a separate self) will going to die. If you guys rob me of that 'fact' im dont know what im going to do lmao. As my guru said, if you were inmortal how would I ever get you to meditate. (laughs). No, but really, I absolutely can open myself to the possibility that infinity continues, other dreams, etc. whatever. But please please at least god end my fantasy of a separate self because 'I' suffer too much with my bs. One of the last fears I have is that if reincarnation is real I will reincarnate with the same energetic painful karma. Like all my hope is that this life is the last life I experience the karmic suffering, my hope was that when this body-mind dies all this attachments and kind of thoughts are completely done for eternity. That´s why in a sense im doing this work, I don´t want any being or any future-me-reincarnation to experience what I have experienced in sense of suffering this lifetime.

When death happens there is no more breath, what happens then? How infinite would be able to experience itself as something finite?

Im sorry but i dont get It for much as i try 😭 I have more questions but i Will leave them for the zoom meeting so i dont derail more the topic.. Can consciousness be known? Like lately i spent an freaky amount of time just trying to contemplate what the hell is a sound. Not labeling It as Consciousness, Being or God, but actually what IS the Essence of reality, what IS really a sound, like what the hell is this. Where am i, what IS the phenomena of reality. I can not handle not knowing It, i need to know what IS reality, Directly. I dont even know if im in a world anymore, or Who the fuck you are lmao. I want just the illusion to completely break, i cant take It anymore, the ignorance.

The lens-sphere is the illusion or ego? Another question- example, if I´m in my couch and I´m seeing a table and 4 chairs, that is supposed to be the world-sphere, which is Being. So if someone now enters my living room is not that he is imagining the table and 4 chairs, but rather he is also within the world-sphere, or Being. But I don´t see what is the difference between Being and the typical Physical Reality paradigm.

So is all Being but illusory separate self is created because of thoughts? What about the thought 'But I have thoughts because I have a brain and that is the proof I am an intelligent human'? 😅

fucc

@Phil So let me ask you a question. If im at my homes terrace and im listening to the sounds of the waves of the sea. And then there´s maybe a guy out there in the beach walking his dog. If I inspect the sounds of the waves of the sea where are they happening, maybe they are not happening in my brain, but actually literally the waves are consciousness and they do that sound, which is also consciousness. So the guy at the beach is experiencing the same consciousness as me, so you could say we are experiencing the same thing. But consciousness is not experienced, is me. So we could say, me and the guy on the beach are being the big sphere. How´s that? Does that make sense or no way?

because it puts you in the actuality of reality?

drink warm water with honey

@Blessed2 In the metaphor of the spheres, the big sphere is awareness, and the small sphere is created via thoughts?

humm.... Right. Like they appear to make the discordant belief true. When I feel it again what am I supposed to do exactly? Focus on the thoughts I am experiencing in that moment? 🙂 Uhm. That make sense. I lack the ability to truly see what exact belief I experienc though. For any reason I just start feeling attacked/ridiculed deeply. So one of the ways truth got veiled was because of not-so-good beliefs about 'oneself'? 🤯 @Phil

Ok I get you. But how do you explain that 98% of time talking to people yesterday was very good yet in some moments I felt that negative energy? You say that I am projecting that, right? If I am understanding you correctly. So you are saying my perception is wrong? (not saying this in a bad way, im open to all possibilities, im aware of the possibility of projection). But if someone hits me physically I would say is a negative act from the other person. In the same way, when people talk with a certain tone, I don´t see it necessarily as a projection to sense that they are using an 'agressive' tone in order to cause harm. Like, I get you that Is my responsibility and blaming others maybe is not how things will solved, but what is the way? Literally yesterday after this two people said to me that I spent the next 15-20 minutes with my body trembling, like literally a real physical sensation. How come the rest of the time during the hiking trip my body feel very good yet in that conversation after that precise moment my body started trembling? What happened there? @Phil

It is. Whole of Reality is Empty Boundless Nothing. Is exactly like AIR or SPACE. This AIR is unlimited so it imagines an infinite dream. Some AIR gets encapsulated in apparent 'individual Bubbles' that are little specks of imagination of the dream. When AIR becomes aware of its infinite nature and that when it realises that when the thing that is apparently encapsulated dies, the AIR will still be AIR, then Enlightment happens. For the individual thing, or human, Enlightment means TOTAL DEATH. For the AIR, everything stays the same, except that the AIR will have freedom because it will be able to not identify itself with the thing that is 'apparently' encapsulated. Since Enlightment happens, ego is obliged to surrender to the TRUTH 24/7. To leave the AIR enjoy Truth. hahah

Not sure I understand what you mean . What you mean with listening and believing a teachers teachings? @Phil Yup. Pretty nasty what some people do. But hey, it's their karma. They won´t be getting liberation in that lifetime im sure.

Why some people that apparently everything IS going well and cool suddenly throw energetic arrows of negativity? Is It because of Envy? Literally this is all that has happened in my Life. I was always a being vibrating quite high close to the frecuencies of Love, Truth, and Light (enlightment), but since most of the rest of the people were vibrating much lower they projected their lack of Love in to me, projecting energies of judgment towards me, if im the "bad one". My mistake was believing that, after that ego developed so called "social anxiety" and so on, but It was actually that i believed their judgements and i did not trust/stablished myself in my own luminary Love. Instead i fell down to their energies. This is what the whole Game is. reality is boundless Love and most beings vibrate in fear and separation, when they see a being like me vibrating very high, they get scared and envious and try to make me fall into their level. Im telling this because yesterday i went on a hiking trip with the psychedelic community of my City. That first morning i had done my yoga kriya process and i had clearly Awaken i am in an Empty boundless Dream that is made of me. When i went to the hiking trip this was being the best days of my Life, talking to everybody and connection deeply, being in Truth, knowing i am them, 0 traits of separation or so called social anxiety. But when we were at lunch then this two guys (mainly one but then the other one also Jumped with him and joined him), sent me an energetic arrow of violence. I was just telling the group what i eat for breakfast and It seems they felt way too threatned by my purity and consciousness one of them tried to being me down and make me feel shit/embarrased. Quite dissappointing this happens in a psychedelic group, some people not even with psychedelics can let go of the barriers.

What really scares me is that im in Truth 24/7 and i dont know Who you "guys" are ☺️🤣 Actually thanks for replying Consciousness 😃 You dont trick me anymore i know Who "you" "guys" are. 😆

I finished meditation and went to look at some flowers on my garden for 10 minutes straight...I couldn´t fathom how this is possible. What is a flower? Is it consciousness? I was looking at the shining white colour of the petals...this blows my mind...how is it possible that this colour even exist. Is pure white. What is white anyway? What is colour? Lol. Then while touching the flowers I realize also the feeling of touch is also impossible. What is 'touch', what am I touching? Then I realize I am not touching anything. I dont exist. Existence is happening. There is not a self. Even though sometimes it feel really feel like there is a self. How can there not be a self? But honestly if I am honest there is not a self.

Damn, Ok. You are right. By the way I find funny you are talking like this like buying bread. You literally are just saying whole reality is non dual consciousness like is nothing. This is worth opening a champagne bottle uh? 🙏 Ok 😅

@Phil @Jonas Long Are you guys actually Consciousness instead of separate selves? If i Accept Truth i Will have to Live as God for the rest of my Life. It is Life changing. Im not saying is bad though.

Right. oh ok got ya. Then yeah that 'bubble' I can definetely stop using it 👍

Fair enough. Nah maybe this is not a bubble. But it is scary to open myself to the Self and let go. Everything would change. And as an ego I am scared of change and truth. Yes, and that is what I most fear. I don´t see possible to stay in Truth all the time because that means Death. Infinite Solitude. No more illusions, no more fantasies. Just me. It is scary. Although maybe because my ego hasn´t truly surrendered yet.