fopylo

🍿

@Phil Damn you for real hit a mark on my lifestyle... Well almost - I try to condition my body mainly for strength and endurance (mostly aerobic but also anaerobic) so I can be like Goku or some super human😂. I'd also like to get back into music and piano. Hmm.. when it's done onto itself it's conditioning, and when used for some other craft then it's practice. Doesn't matter I'm getting distracted... Not to come across as arrogant, but how can we decide that feeling holds the truth and not thinking? Why is the truth monopolized by feeling? Of course I am interested in understanding the truth, but why does it need be via feeling and not by thinking my way through it with my own common sense and questioning reality? What is the difference between de-conditioning and non-practice? But you do that through practicing feeling... don't you?

What is the Path? What is actually the journey? Is it the journey from thinking to feeling? Is it the journey to feeling alive in this world, rather than thought stories? Is it to tap into unknown dimensions of experience what the person who overthinks all the time doesn't understand yet? P.S. I like how chatgpt is talking about the ambiguity I've been concerned about. It tells me that over time it basically gets less ambiguous - a dimension of experience that is currently unknown to me how it feels like. I guess it would be a matter of letting go more to see better. P.P.S. Here is the link to the full conversation with chatgpt about the topic: https://chat.openai.com/share/43f08d92-9e45-433c-990c-afdef7020142 I believe it's an interesting conversation.

@WhiteOwl lmao it really looks like that😂. Like bro pasted my question in some ai tool and posted the ai's comment. Never mind, even if it's not true. Not the first time seeing such comments. Tells you a lot about the booming of ai

@solereproduction no offenses but did you generate this answer with some wacky ai?

@Mandy @Phil Sorry, I didn't mean that your comments were of hate. I can't edit to take your tags off from my previous comment. I was talking about Omar's comment about erasing Israel and hate towards the Jews.

@Mandy Days have past so it appears in thought that "chunks" of "time" have been thrown away. The calendar also moves forwards.

@Blessed2 Things I really wanted to do because they seem cool (especially the languages and reading a book). But I do want to achieve fluency in Japanese as well as French and other languages in the future that I'd like to learn, and I also want to get through some books to broaden my perspective and communicate better and be smarter. Why does that matter? What do you mean? I don't want too much... and I think it is also periodical. Sometimes I wish for very basic needs to be met and not too much, minimalist desires; and sometimes I wish to create big things in this life. But something that always stays common is that I barely desire any material needs. Pretty much if I feel excited and 'on purpose' then that's enough for me now. Where do you get all of this talk from? Sorry if it sounds a bit rude, I just can't really understand what you're saying since I didn't have those realizations in this reality yet. Did you meditate everyday of the year for 1 hour to understand this wisdom and share it or are you reciting from a book without actually believing what you say?

@Omar Osama @Phil @Mandy Please stop spreading hate, and at least delete your hate speeches. I am sorry if I came across as attacking from my side by creating this post, but I am really not trying to push my agendas here, so please respect that

Not trying to be too harsh on myself... First of all hello everyone, it's been a very long while since I've been here, war and shit. We're safe and I believe the war is coming to an end. Back to topic. So I am on a week's vacation now and it saddens me a bit when I realize that the days are passing and I'm not doing much; not going after my passions or trying new things. All I do pretty much (some days) I doom-scroll through Instagram reels for pretty much the whole day into the night. Feeling very unsatisfied, yet the time is already very late, so I reluctantly move to the laptop and feeling not so good. Going to bed at 4-5 am and waking up at lunch. Telling myself I'd like to learn languages, I'd like to continue reading a certain book I was longing to read, I'd like to learn about investing... Pretty much the only thing that excites me during the day is the time my father hops on another episode of Attack on Titan and I get to watch it with him (I got him on it, and in my opinion it is the best show ever created). Really excites me every episode to see how he'll react and it's something I think a lot during the day. I'd like to inform that I started practicing meditation 10 minutes every morning for a few weeks.

@Phil What do you mean Then the key is not believing this is comparable to that. ?

@Phil you mean the more I focus on my story the harder it will be to meditate? But isn't it true that meditation isn't supposed to always be easy and feel good? Isn't it sitting with all those painful thoughts...? I see this as a loss. It is a shame to cut short your session without planning so. It hurts and makes the process seem like a hassle. Hell, my head hurts writing this bringing me back to those days I've meditated before and had my head so tensed that I just had to stop the practice. Feel free to roast me as long as you make sure I get the joke afterwards lol Nothing from what you said concludes this message for me. I just want to live a happy normal life for a 21 year old

@Phil In regard to apathy... there are some days like today that I literally don't do anything except scrolling on Instagram and checking Whatsapp... here and there grabbing something to eat. Quite depressing. There are those days. Today was one of them. I feel like I haven't accomplished anything, such a wasteful day. I know there are some good days of going on a run or having a laugh with friends... but today was just not it. Cold days are approaching - wore a sweater for the first time this season, and it filled me up with memories of the winter character - the more lonely, fantasizing romance, sentimental, less confident, more emotional, more in my "villain arc"... My laptop also crashed today which is a shame. I must say though, Phil, that I've started to get back into meditation. There's a wonderful video I think you should see: She gets it spot on for me. I expect it to feel good. I expect it to be easy (you yourself say to sit and simply focus on the breath). It's a lot of being comfortable with the uncomfortable, rather than trying to become comfortable and building expectations. But I do remember how my head, forehead and eyes used to hurt from meditation, really tense, as well as the diaphragm. I also don't want to turn it into a habit that "I must do or else...", however, I didn't do this morning and could perhaps be the reason for the fucked up day I had up until now (it's almost midnight already). I'll probably do a quick session now before I have a shower

@Jonas Long Very based

@Phil Appearance being the ego and illusion being the identification with that ego/self (believing it's actually who you are)?

@Phil OMG I just now read it. This is really beautiful. This is exactly a description of my life LOL. Dude... ok, so what now? Like where is this going?

Just start at the top of this thread and each time there is an “I”, the conditioning is whatever immediately follows. @Phil Is conditioning a bad thing?

Oh by the way, I just came back from a light jog, something I haven't done for a while. And in a mysterious way... I felt more like myself at the end of the run. I felt more powerful, with more potential, capable of changing my life... what the hell? Is that the power of aerobic exercise? It's like a switch has just been flipped on in my brain.

@Phil of course there's no I that is really falling into beliefs. It's meant as a metaphor for believing hard in those beliefs... Those thoughts of others looming on me surely doesn't feel good. One of the worst feelings out there, and fairly consistent. You are most likely correct on the blame - I am blaming myself for this shit. The one blaming = the one experiencing, awareness. The one blamed = the thought of a person falling in a spiral who I consider as myself. Life is suffering? I don't really. But it's like when you ask a person what he thinks about a certain topic and he answers you, but their opinion has literally become your thought. It's like all of what I'm writing that you are reading is your thoughts, not mine, in a way. ‘You’ is a thought. Double negatives might not be clarifying. Unicorns can’t not have thoughts either. That doesn't clarify much I didn't really understand “You can’t be something, you’re not”. Phil Anselmo What are you referring to? Beliefs seemingly constituting a knower of good & bad, and therein a good & bad life. Can you give example? You mean to take credit not only for my impressive growth, but also credit for my friend's calisthenics achievements, as well as credit for great accomplishments by great musicians who made it?

@Phil This, and the stuff you said before are great examples of how quick I am to quickly fall hard into beliefs about other people and how they control my life and every decision I make. Lots of social anxiety. Very hard to live like that. I always ask what people think of something that has to do with me instead of taking initiation on my own. But you can't not have thoughts. Are you telling me that with meditation your number of thoughts decrease?? It doesn't seem to make sense. There's only one thought at the moment. What do you mean by "come to rest"? By "good life", I mean feeling good in the sense of living a life of expression and equanimity. What is conditioning? What is the opposite of meditation? What is meditation and it's purpose, and how can you go against it? It seems like that at times. Still This. Over time I've been believing more things, less innocent, less pure. It would be wrong for me to say that I currently experience those good innocent thoughts... No... but I've been working hard to achieve a strong muscular body, and my goal is to be able to do advanced movements. I find it impressive and for that I do take credit, for the accomplishment. No one grows to be good at those, it takes training, as opposed to simply letting your body grow from a baby which literally happens to all of us.

@Orb yeah bro I'm still ok. I didn't make time to reply to other comments yet, but as a quick notice I'm ok

I don't have so much time to write. It's late, but I just feel like I need to let a little bit of air out, just a quick tiny blow to get some momentum. In short: Suspicious of a friend, a friend that I have some good laughs with but I always feel inferior to him and worth less when talking to him. I have a friend that everything is jokes with him and he really makes me laugh and I try to push it too much too often where I'm really just suffering. Now I don't know if it's really a joke if there's a rumor that I have a crush on someone (which isn't even true). I asked him seriously later and he said it was just a joke, but don't know anymore... can't trust him 100 percent on that. Basically it's hard for me to make eye contact with people. I am so mental omg. One of the biggest disturbances I've had for the last few months is that it's been really hard for me to think, learn, and follow up. It's really not hard for me when it's something I like and I'm on my own, but when with people - I get so mental and overthink my standing and the other person that I totally miss the point! I love being submissive for some reason, but perhaps it's a lot of escapism from taking control of the situation and rather being in the comfort of others. I just tried to spill from the top of my head. I don't want to get too much into it. All I wanted is just to remember a little the long lost feeling of journaling expressing. I've really been suffering a lot lately, And most of it was even before the war. I have neglected journaling my personal pathetic feelings for at least some time after the war began. I should probably do more of that. Shit man I sometimes really wonder if I'd even be able to live up for a good life. Slowly I'm starting to see how I'm actually not so different from my parents after all... mental escapism from mother... anxiety and pathetic from father... I'm really scared. I have muscles but it ain't like I'm strong inside. I'm very much breakable like a twig in a storm - the storm being social situations. I feel lost. Where's home? Where are the good innocent times of the thoughts of a child, of a young teenager? Back when fantasy land seemed more promising... Heck, thinking growth would be linear. I guess no one can know where life will take them eventually. There are yet many things I'd want to accomplish. I'm very messy and not organized. The only thing I've probably been focusing on growth wise is my physical training in calisthenics since I desire to achieve the handstand push up, and more. Thanks for reading. I recently got emotionally hit by the ending of attack on Titan. Been carrying me since I was 14. Thanks. This isn't the best place for putting it, but whatever, it popped up. Thanks for reading. I hope I'll suffer less

Joe Biden just gave a speech regarding the terror attacks of Hamas.

@WhiteOwl Differentiate between Palestinians and Hamas. There is a difference between supporting Palestinian freedom (which you have the right to), and supporting Hamas. Supporting Hamas is basically supporting WWII. Oh, did I mention they took hostage/killed lots of foreigners as well? @Blessed2 These are matters for after the war. The priority now is to protect and get rid of the TERRORISTS

@Orb Thanks for the kind words man. Going to sleep soon. Hope for better times