real talk: the emotional scale

[Blessed2]

Okay so I have a few questions:

 

- How does one express correctly so that doing the practice actually works? I've tried it many times already. And each time it's the same: I identify the emotion as well as I can, and write about it. But there is no relief. There is no step up to the next emotion. In fact, the scale usually makes things even more confusing, more frustrating. Which is what I'm feeling now.

 

- Why am I not experiencing that relief that is supposed to be felt? Why is it that I try writing, time after time, and I cannot move up even one emotion? What am I doing wrong?

 

- What even is "expression"?

 

Obviously I am doing something wrong, or misunderstanding something, since I do not move up the scale. Or the practice simply isn't reasonable or useful, which actually pretty much seems like the case, since the practice has failed quite miserably each time.

 

@Phil @Mandy It seems like you two are the ones recommending and talking about it the most. You recommend expressing and/or doing the scale. And it isn't working. What up?

 

I want clear answers. Give me an example. Express the emotion you are feeling right now, and show me how you do it.

 

 

Edited October 13, 2022 by Blessed2

[Mandy]

Probably a bizarre sounding statement, but you can't move up the scale if you're unwilling to move down it. Sometimes really digging in is also the honesty of owning where we actually are. If you exclude the option of feeling worse, that's exactly what you get because law of attraction AKA law of no exclusion. When we disallow ourselves to feel worse, we block truly feeling, which is the only real "way" to let the cork float.  When we are ok with where we are, we stop noting that we are not where we want to be, and there's the relief. I think that's what you're missing. The scale is best used to shaking loose thought attachments. "I'm experiencing the emotion of blame" loosens the attachment to blaming this specific person for the specific situation. Right now (just a guess depending on how you feel) you are not criticizing the scale, you're expressing doubt. Be careful because when using the scale, the first thing to be targeted will be the scale or people who are supposedly thought to be promoting it. As I explained in your other thread here recently, using the scale to see the emotion rather than the specific circumstances believed is a great way of going general and slapping ourselves back to the present moment. 

 

When I journal I usually just write whatever I honestly feel like writing. If I feel stuck, I'll glance at the scale. Or if I feel stuck I'll flow of consciousness write and this usually reveals where I actually am, not where I'm guessing, hoping or thinking that I am. 

 

[Phil]

1 hour ago, Blessed2 said:

Okay so I have a few questions:

 

- How does one express correctly so that doing the practice actually works? I've tried it many times already. And each time it's the same: I identify the emotion as well as I can, and write about it. But there is no relief. There is no step up to the next emotion. In fact, the scale usually makes things even more confusing, more frustrating. Which is what I'm feeling now.

Why am I not experiencing that relief that is supposed to be felt?

That’s frustration / irritation / impatience. 👍🏻

 

 

1 hour ago, Blessed2 said:

Why is it that I try writing, time after time, and I cannot move up even one emotion? What am I doing wrong?

This is blame. 

 

1 hour ago, Blessed2 said:

- What even is "expression"?

Being. 

 

1 hour ago, Blessed2 said:

Obviously I am doing something wrong, or misunderstanding something, since I do not move up the scale.

This is blame. 

 

 

1 hour ago, Blessed2 said:

Or the practice simply isn't reasonable or useful, which actually pretty much seems like the case, since the practice has failed quite miserably each time.

This is blame. 

 

1 hour ago, Blessed2 said:

 

@Phil @Mandy It seems like you two are the ones recommending and talking about it the most. You recommend expressing and/or doing the scale. And it isn't working. What up?

This is blame. 

 

1 hour ago, Blessed2 said:

 

I want clear answers. Give me an example. Express the emotion you are feeling right now, and show me how you do it.

I’m not. 

 

 

[nurthur11]

This may sound as belittling but I am saying to you and to myself. My take is that your emotional reality and feeling of yourself or though self and the experience of this self is is in motion(flow) is not "picture by picture", for example, when you do an activity(to use ruper spira word) the situation is like this: its you and then the activity, of  course you will eventually merge the totality of yourself with the activity but the flow in yourself will keep going(or the moments of the flow will be reflected in the activity). If it isnt flowing than you have mistaken yourself for the activity and you will error, stuck in some emotion or desire or w/e. As you try to unstuck from that position you will get even worse. When you pay attention to the breath you are creating thoughts perception feeling(even emotions) about the breath(you create an activity so to say) you can merge with this activity but yourself will still flow. Awareness/attention will flow even if you notice this flow you are creating an activity of noticing this flow(for example if you try to be conscious of attention/awareness of awareness and so on).

 

You need to have your moments regardless of what other wants. And as moments pass you notice you are beyond those moments and at some point - you notice that it is not something to be concern. If you are stuck in a emotion you will "create two things", you will create an activity of your emotion - there will still be a part of you in which the emotion are flowing(now that you "merged" with the actvity maybe unconcious to you)- probably and eventually you will "die" or "bug" yourself. This is very important to understand so please try to understand it in the hope you find some freedom. You cant get better at being yourself - neither finding who you really are or believing that are you doubt, fear(by this sentence this should be obvious). Don' try to fix these like a scientist - "they" are part of you. Still you have to figure out by your self.

 

If it doesn't make sense it doesn't make sense.

Edited October 13, 2022 by nurthur11

[nurthur11]

For me in this case, expressing emotion is untangling yourself from the part of you that got stuck in the activity. This happens by itself. When you feel doubt in my perspective is that you are doubting yourself. In order to undoubt yourself you have to expose yourself to the activity that is making you doubt yourself. Little by little. Don't think about the moving up to scale or down to scale that is something for you and it happens by itself.  Imagine yourself as a dog who is traumatized and put into a situation that triggers that trauma. You dont have to hold this imagination when you are exposing yourself to what ever is making you doubt yourself or blame others. If you have had severe doubt in yourself and blamed others it will not go away very easily. Keep the flow/optimism when you are exposing yourself and eventually you will see yourself and others in a more positive light.

Edited October 13, 2022 by nurthur11

[Phil]

@Blessed2

Express the blame, and then move onto the next one. Same for pessimism.  
 

Also consider you might actually be naturally expressing an emotion, but not recognizing that you are. 

 

Consider transference too. Sometimes it can seem like you’re ‘stuck’ if you’re expressing an emotion about the scale or whoever is sharing it. The key would be to express that and then move on to the next one. 

[Blessed2]

Oh my god. This is fucking nonsense.

 

It's not possible to do the scale like you propose. This is literally just very, very bad advice.

 

It's not like you just take an emotion and express it and move to the next one lol. That's not how emotions work. Expressing an emotion doesn't make it go away, or make it appear. Expressing an emotion does nothing. Especially if you're just writing it by yourself. And even the idea that you can somehow pinpoint what emotion you are feeling or supposed to express is just so undetached from actual world and emotion that it seems to me like the scale just purposefully confuses you more.

 

Yeah, I'm expressing blame right now. Obivously. So what??? This means nothing, it feels like nothing, it does nothing. What now? Go up one? Okay, let's see for the hundreth fucking time.

 

Oop, cannot do that, because I am not feeling worry. There is nothing to express. Of course I can just make up some text about worry but that's just nonsensical.

 

And now I'm just feeling sadness and discouragement. Oh wait, maybe anger? Or is this frustration? I don't fucking know. Blame again. Anger. 🤦 Now anxiety.

 

How am I supposed to pick an emotion now? What?? Which one of the twenty feelings I experience within 20 seconds am I supposed to pick? And how can I move up one by one when I constantly jump all around the scale???

[Mandy]

SERENITY NOW!!!!!! 

[Orb]

@Blessed2 I think it helps to gauge where youre at by the intensity of the emotions. 

 

I don't feel very comfortable labeling emotion as happy,sad, etc. because I can never be 100% sure I'm feeling that.

 

So instead of labeling how you feel, you can investigate the actual sensations themselves.

 

How's it feel? 

 

How intense is it?

[Mandy]

Humor and tears release emotions but work at any point in the scale and are beyond the emotions in it. 

 

They are like magical secret weapons. 😄

[WhiteOwl]

I am using the scale often, and most of the time it surely makes me feel a lot better. It can be a little tricky, but you need to learn how to make it work for yourself. Remember there is no "emotional scale", its just a concept created to help you. You need to make it work for yourself by noticing the changes when you feel relief or a bit better, but don't neccesarily expect it to be as linear as the scale suggests. Sometimes its back and forth. If you go read open the emotional scale on the website, there is really good guidance from beginning to end of each emotion, how to do it.

Starting with jealousy, be honest with yourself and express all the things other people have that you would like, etc etc.

 

Edit; I remember the first time i was pretty skeptic and didn't understand why it would work, but i just did it like a school assignment and went through it and was quite surprised it actually did make me feel better.

Edited October 13, 2022 by WhiteOwl

[Blessed2]

1 hour ago, Devin said:

@Blessed2 are you feeling jealous that it might work for others and not you?

Fear that something's wrong with you? That you'll never be happy?

Insecure, like maybe others get it and you don't? Powerless? Despair? I feel all those emanating from you

 

Yes, all of those. Each one all the way to boredom really.

[Blessed2]

1 hour ago, Orb said:

How's it feel? 

 

 

Like anger, because I want to feel better and want to feel more clearly but this tool that could be amazing isn't working, like so so many different things.

 

Nothing ever "works" for me. Everyone else got some thing they're good at or works for them. For me it's always a fight. It's unfair. Everything is always a horrible struggle. It's like I'm not fit for life. Pretty sure it's ADD or something.

 

And even writing this doesn't matter. Just makes me feel worse because it changes nothing. I'll feel the same way over and over again.

 

And now I'm feeling worse again because I can't put into words or gain any clarity as to what I feel. It just becomes like a spiral of frustration and anger.

 

I can see no guidance in these emotions.

[Blessed2]

1 hour ago, Mandy said:

Humor and tears release emotions but work at any point in the scale and are beyond the emotions in it. 

 

 

I can't cry. 😕

 

It's been a problem since the depression or whatever this is, started.

 

At times there is like a 5 second cry but then it just ends and oop, frustration and discouragement again.

 

Would be easy to have that sort of way to just empty and be done with it. But I don't, and the pressure just builds. And builds. And then it gets kinda worrying and scary. Because I worry I might just lose it, and do something horrible.

 

Edited October 13, 2022 by Blessed2

[nurthur11]

2 hours ago, Mandy said:

SERENITY NOW!!!!!! 

HAHAHA .I want serenity now! Okay, it makes sense what you mean.

[Orb]

@Blessed2 no not the story around it. But how does the actual emotion feel, how intense is it?

[Phil]

@Blessed2

People often mix up boredom and pessimism because pessimism is boring.  It’s clarified by expressing pessimism and knowing that you are. If you are but aren’t recognizing that you are it would seem like the scale doesn’t work. It would seem like boredom and nothings gonna help ya feel better (pessimism). 

[Mandy]

2 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

 

I can't cry. 😕

 

It's been a problem since the depression or whatever this is, started.

 

At times there is like a 5 second cry but then it just ends and oop, frustration and discouragement again.

 

Would be easy to have that sort of way to just empty and be done with it. But I don't, and the pressure just builds. And builds. And then it gets kinda worrying and scary. Because I worry I might just lose it, and do something horrible.

 

If your girlfriend told you she can't orgasm, what advice would you give?

[Phil]

4 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

Oh my god. This is fucking nonsense.

 

It's not possible to do the scale like you propose. This is literally just very, very bad advice.

It’s a scale, a tool, not advice. The advice is liberation by recognizing pessimism as emotional guidance & listening to the guidance and not the thoughts. The suffering is already here, you’re already feeling it. The resistance already is. Get something out of it. Discover the guidance. 

 

If you know what very, very bad advice is, you must know what very, very good advice is. You win either way, because if you don’t know what very very good advice is, you know what judgement is and what it feels like. 

 

4 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

 

It's not like you just take an emotion and express it and move to the next one lol. That's not how emotions work.

That’s how the emotional scale works. Any emotion below contentment, you’re already experiencing. It’s not like you have to summon it, you already have. The scale, up to contentment, is a tool for letting go by expression. You’re not ready to admit to yourself that you’re feeling pessimism. That it’s what you’re thinkin that’s felt. That is what is, no judgement here. Just tryna help. 

 

4 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

Expressing an emotion doesn't make it go away, or make it appear. Expressing an emotion does nothing. Especially if you're just writing it by yourself. And even the idea that you can somehow pinpoint what emotion you are feeling or supposed to express is just so undetached from actual world and emotion that it seems to me like the scale just purposefully confuses you more.

Trying to make emotion go away is aversion. That’s suppress, the opposite of expression. Bring pessimism in as close as possible, allow it to be obliterated by the light of awareness. Discover that. It’s most worthwhile. Suffering is trying to keep it at a distance or make it go away. Make it your best friend, express it freely. 

 

4 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

 

Yeah, I'm expressing blame right now. Obivously. So what??? This means nothing, it feels like nothing, it does nothing. What now? Go up one? Okay, let's see for the hundreth fucking time.

How you feel is the relevant ‘what’. Blame feels like… blame, and all you actually want is to feel better, than blame… which occurs from expressing, blame. It’s emptying it out, not fixing or solving anything. It’s just for the feeling better than blame or pessimism etc. 

 

4 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

 

Oop, cannot do that, because I am not feeling worry. There is nothing to express. Of course I can just make up some text about worry but that's just nonsensical.

 

And now I'm just feeling sadness and discouragement. Oh wait, maybe anger? Or is this frustration? I don't fucking know. Blame again. Anger. 🤦 Now anxiety.

 

How am I supposed to pick an emotion now? What?? Which one of the twenty feelings I experience within 20 seconds am I supposed to pick? And how can I move up one by one when I constantly jump all around the scale???

Emotions aren’t feeling. That’s the confusion. Feeling isn’t plural. 

 

I’d consider a reframe. If you can admit that what you want is to feel great, I suggest that’s 95% what you put in the body, and 5% using the scale. If I drank a glass of gasoline for example, scale ain’t gonna be very useful. I’d be better advised to let something go.  

[Blessed2]

11 hours ago, Orb said:

no not the story around it. But how does the actual emotion feel, how intense is it?

 

It's not that intense right now. There is like a heavy/burning/inflammatory sensation in the body. Stomach area feels heavy and pressuring. The whole body feels heavy and tired.

 

But these are just bodily sensations. Emotion is like a different thing. It just is something. It cannot be defined or put into words, but it totes is known and well, felt.