I can't seem to overcome my fear of death

[Blessed2]

2 hours ago, Silver said:

Reading you gives me a strange feeling. like trying to navigate in a wrinkled paper smeared with glue. weakens me, makes me feel stuck. I tried to read the text 3 times but i couldn't. Why? Maybe it's something with my understanding? Or it's impossible to understand? 

 

Lol, you're not the only one. Phil has a bit peculiar way of using language. You gotta be a bit tai-chi about it. Sometimes some things just don't open up at all. Sometimes it seems total gibberish.

 

I've been trying to understand what he talks about for like three years, still have no idea what for example, the two spheres mean. Maybe I never will. I go total blank if I try to understand it.

[Orb]

@Blessed2

 

I may be totally wrong I don't know, I have no direct experience of literally turning into two little spheres 😂. 

 

From my direct experience, the sphere of the world is all the material "stuff". 

 

The sphere of the lens is that concentrated sensation. You know that concentrated feeling? That feeling that makes it convincing that you're in a body? That is focus, basically the ability for sensation to magnify/intensify. 

 

I don't think focus can be found because the focus is the one behind trying to find who is focusing. 

 

Without the sphere of focus, there wouldn't be a feeling of being in this world. 

 

All my opinion, take with a grain of salt.

 

Holy shit, you bringing up the spheres really unveiled something over here, thank you! 

Edited June 8, 2022 by Orb

[Silver]

@Blessed2 yeah yeah, I was trying to understand, but i gave up. Well i got some interesting points at the end @Phil thanks for answering 

[Phil]

If you bring all attention to peripheral vision… and then outward more so, to the very edge… you’ll notice there is no actual discernible edge. There has been assumed to be an edge, a divide, some kind of actual separation. Actually try to notice the assumption there is what you can see, and what you can’t see, and notice the thought, that is the assumption, by scrutinizing (visually) to find the ‘edge’ between seeing and not seeing or seen (in the farthest reach of peripheral vision, all the way around).

 

You’ll also notice the shape of the whole of the ‘edge’ of peripheral vision is that of round.  And that the body is not prior to this roundness, but is beyond the roundness. Seems to be within the roundness… just like all the ‘other stuff’, or, the whole of experience. Somewhat of a ‘Being John Malkovich’ situation from this vantage. 

 

Then if you close your eyes you’d notice there’s no ‘edge’ ‘there’ either (when eyes are closed). Yet, if I slap your face while your eyes are closed, you’re still going to experience getting slapped across the face, and same for me if you slapped me across the face while my eyes were closed. And the entirety of that experience, the eyes, the seeing, the not seeing, the sensation, the sound, the sting of the slaps and the laughter that follows…  would not be prior to that roundness. 

 

Two guys slapping each other’s faces in a snow globe which is sort of hard to see so you use a magnifying lens and holy shit it’s literally This right now. Except as infinite being there’s no reaching for a magnifying lens. But infinite being does not need to, because infinite being just be’s it. 

 

 

Then there’s the vortex, a pointing term from Esther Hicks. She says when you’re in the vortex, you’re feeling light, fun, loving, open, carefree, some flow, ease, everything’s alright-ness…  and that’s you - that’s our infinite being, the eternal Truth. And also, sometimes some thoughts are getting the attention which just aren’t quite resonating with infinite you, and this is the experience of being ‘out of the vortex’. 

 

She says your vortex is full of everything you’ve ever wanted. Every thought you’ve ever experience that was ‘I like that’, ‘I wanna get that’, ‘I wanna go there’… all of it… is in your vortex. And when the thoughts are aligned with feeling, such that you are in the vortex… that ‘stuff’ is comin through. Coming into being. Manifesting. Materializing. And in this way we’re creating reality.  Notice nobody knows what comes next, but every one’s gonna focus on somethin. 

[Dima]

@Phil

[Links]

On 6/4/2022 at 10:06 PM, Phil said:

Communion follows the realization emotion can not be overcome. 

 

Makes perfect sense after contemplation. 
 
The thing is, emotions happen by themselves, it's like the body doing its functions and 'emotion' is the name we give to it when seeing it subjectively. So to be a living organism is to be a survival mechanism, and fear of death is a natural long-evolved part of our survival strategy. If we didn't fear illness, accidents, death etc then it's likely that we wouldn't be here because our ancestors wouldn't have survived. It also goes by the name of flight/fight/freeze response, and occurs in the brain stem, the 'reptile brain' which is outside the conscious control of the executive function (the owner, doer, thinker etc).
 

But, @Someone here  these systems aren't perfect, unfortunately some of us have overactive fff responses so experience raised symptoms of fear, anxiety, anger, obsessions etc. It's painful. And the response is to try and make it stop, go away. Mere thoughts can start off the cycle of hormone release, emotion, thought. 
 

Fear, then aversion to the fear, and the struggle between them. It's painful. Trying to stop the fear is trying to kill a part of yourself, that's just as authentically you as the you which wants to do the stopping. So the answer I'm still practising (using headspace as a tool) is to just try and relax into the emotions, to accept rather than reject them. Feelings come and go, the body can't sustain high levels of anxiety forever, but the pattern remains, it gets triggered again later on. So I don't try to control my emotions but instead try to practise feeling relaxed in their presence, so at least I'm not starting up that civil war within myself again. 
   

There's short term tactics to deal with fears too of course, breathing exercises, medication etc. But I'm not aware of any quick cures rather than the long term practices of facing the fears and lowering the tensions using repeated application of awareness. 

[nurthur11]

On 6/8/2022 at 9:15 PM, Phil said:

If you bring all attention to peripheral vision… and then outward more so, to the very edge… you’ll notice there is no actual discernible edge. There has been assumed to be an edge, a divide, some kind of actual separation. Actually try to notice the assumption there is what you can see, and what you can’t see, and notice the thought, that is the assumption, by scrutinizing (visually) to find the ‘edge’ between seeing and not seeing or seen (in the farthest reach of peripheral vision, all the way around).

 

You’ll also notice the shape of the whole of the ‘edge’ of peripheral vision is that of round.  And that the body is not prior to this roundness, but is beyond the roundness. Seems to be within the roundness… just like all the ‘other stuff’, or, the whole of experience. Somewhat of a ‘Being John Malkovich’ situation from this vantage. 

 

Then if you close your eyes you’d notice there’s no ‘edge’ ‘there’ either (when eyes are closed). Yet, if I slap your face while your eyes are closed, you’re still going to experience getting slapped across the face, and same for me if you slapped me across the face while my eyes were closed. And the entirety of that experience, the eyes, the seeing, the not seeing, the sensation, the sound, the sting of the slaps and the laughter that follows…  would not be prior to that roundness. 

 

Two guys slapping each other’s faces in a snow globe which is sort of hard to see so you use a magnifying lens and holy shit it’s literally This right now. Except as infinite being there’s no reaching for a magnifying lens. But infinite being does not need to, because infinite being just be’s it. 

 

 

Then there’s the vortex, a pointing term from Esther Hicks. She says when you’re in the vortex, you’re feeling light, fun, loving, open, carefree, some flow, ease, everything’s alright-ness…  and that’s you - that’s our infinite being, the eternal Truth. And also, sometimes some thoughts are getting the attention which just aren’t quite resonating with infinite you, and this is the experience of being ‘out of the vortex’. 

 

She says your vortex is full of everything you’ve ever wanted. Every thought you’ve ever experience that was ‘I like that’, ‘I wanna get that’, ‘I wanna go there’… all of it… is in your vortex. And when the thoughts are aligned with feeling, such that you are in the vortex… that ‘stuff’ is comin through. Coming into being. Manifesting. Materializing. And in this way we’re creating reality.  Notice nobody knows what comes next, but every one’s gonna focus on somethin. 

The first two example i tried them out long time ago and they are not a good example. All one has to do is go for the vortex/presence and live life from that (now i understand what you mean with vortex). If you try to become presence you make magic, if you are triggered or afraid you still make magic. If the magic <flows> is becoming presence so to speak. Magic is the sense of your apparent self - the idea is not to put attention on it but let it flow or be present.
 

If you find this there will not be fear of physical death or “physiological  death”. 

Even in the muddy or disconnected situation the vortex pattern will follow but it is much painful. 

Edited June 9, 2022 by nurthur11

[Phil]

25 minutes ago, nurthur11 said:

The first two example i tried them out long time ago and they are not a good example.

Look for ‘a long time ago’… now… & the ‘I’ which tried them out... now.  Actually find that I and that past. If interested, look (again), but now. 

25 minutes ago, nurthur11 said:

All one has to do is go for the vortex/presence and live life from that (now i understand what you mean with vortex). If you try to become presence you make magic, if you are triggered or afraid you still make magic. If the magic <flows> is becoming presence so to speak. Magic is the sense of your apparent self - the idea is not to put attention on it but let it flow or be present.
 

If you find this there will not be fear of physical death or “physiological  death”. 

Even in the muddy or disconnected situation the vortex pattern will follow but it is much painful. 

Similarly if interested, question (& find) what most literally is the / a “sense of your apparent self”. 

[Phil]

3 hours ago, Links said:

The thing is

I hope someone let science know it’s finally been found. 😅 🍾 

[Links]

12 minutes ago, Phil said:

I hope someone let science know it’s finally been found. 😅 🍾 

Ha ha, that's good but things aren't found. They're created as thoughts / distinctions. But ofc in my case it's only a figure of speech, not a real thing!  [With apologies for the side-track]. 

[Phil]

@Links

🙏 

(Science resumes).

 

[nurthur11]

31 minutes ago, Phil said:

Look for ‘a long time ago’… now… & the ‘I’ which tried them out... now.  Actually find that I and that past. If interested, look (again), but now. 

Similarly if interested, question (& find) what most literally is the / a “sense of your apparent self”. 

The long time ago is memories from the past. The sense of my apparent self is the sense of being real person that is talking with other real persons outside in the world while simultaneously sensing the totality of experience as you. 

[Phil]

@nurthur11

They might be not good examples. Might also be that a past and a sense of being a real person just don’t quite per se fit into those particular examples.