Lack of sleep and caffeine

[Kevin]

Basically the point of this post is for me to bitch about not sleeping and to ask about talks experience with no caffeine.

 

i haven’t slept for 48 hours. When this happens i experience lots of sadnesss and general apathy and guilt. For example i saw a cute girl at the gym and normally I think I would have talked to her but I’ve just generally felt super out of it today. Idk how i even made it to the gym.

 

Also does anyone here have experience waking up daily brimming with motivation and energy without any caffeine at all? I’ve gone a long time barely drinking coffee but my motivation is low so I’ve started drinking coffee again but it gives me anxiety and sometimes makes it hard to sleep.

 

basically I’d love to wake up and have that energy without drinking caffeine.

[Reena]

Check your vitamin levels at the clinic.

Morning listening to music and hiking helps

 

[Mandy]

Most days I do, unless something wants attention that's being neglected, whether emotional or physical, then I feel the guidance. Eat a great diet, eat more fresh fruits and veggies. Stay hydrated, really well hydrated, herbal tea, lemon water, veggie soup as regular parts of your day are all great ways to do it if drinking water doesn't stick. Wake up then meditate, then work out first thing in the morning, but take rest days when needed. If I work out hard everyday, I'm gonna hit a wall if I eat too much, too little, same thing, I have to always listen,  always check in. You got the guidance, just listen and course correct earlier. Drug use is like putting in ear plugs when you really want to be able to listen. 

[Kevin]

54 minutes ago, Reena said:

Check your vitamin levels at the clinic.

Morning listening to music and hiking helps

 

I actually did that recently. Low vitamin d was the main thing. I’ve been supplementing that and it’s been helping. And I definitely need to start hiking. I always feel good after.

[Kevin]

34 minutes ago, Mandy said:

Most days I do, unless something wants attention that's being neglected, whether emotional or physical, then I feel the guidance. Eat a great diet, eat more fresh fruits and veggies. Stay hydrated, really well hydrated, herbal tea, lemon water, water, soup are all parts of a normal day. Wake up then meditate, then work out first thing in the morning, but take rest days when needed. If I work out hard everyday, I'm gonna hit a wall if I eat too much, too little, same thing, I have to always listen,  always check in. You got the guidance, just listen HARD and course correct earlier. Drug abuse  is like putting in ear plugs when you really want to be able to listen. 

I feel you on the drug use. That’s over. Something that’s been a habit for me for so long is training hard. Definitely overtraining. Also eating a lot. I weigh 210 and I’m not fat. But maybe it’s catching up to me because I notice days I train hard I usually have trouble sleeping.

[Mandy]

@Kevin

13 hours ago, Kevin said:

I feel you on the drug use. That’s over. Something that’s been a habit for me for so long is training hard. Definitely overtraining. Also eating a lot. I weigh 210 and I’m not fat. But maybe it’s catching up to me because I notice days I train hard I usually have trouble sleeping.

Yeah, you want your workouts to support the rest of your life and the other things you want to do. Rest days will benefit your training too. 

[Phil]

Stop averting from feeling (doing drugs). 

Also stop claiming you aren’t going to again & check into rehab. 

Love you brother. 

Hope the ‘sorry not sorry’ is heard. ♥️

[Orb]

14 hours ago, Kevin said:

I feel you on the drug use. That’s over. Something that’s been a habit for me for so long is training hard. Definitely overtraining. Also eating a lot. I weigh 210 and I’m not fat. But maybe it’s catching up to me because I notice days I train hard I usually have trouble sleeping.

If you have the resources to go to rehab, GO! 

 

How old are you? I'm assuming you're in ur early 20s like me.

[Reena]

Try not to be too intense with your workouts. Take it slow .

.

 

[Kevin]

1 hour ago, Orb said:

If you have the resources to go to rehab, GO! 

 

How old are you? I'm assuming you're in ur early 20s like me.

Im 27.

 

1 hour ago, Phil said:

Stop averting from feeling (doing drugs). 

Also stop claiming you aren’t going to again & check into rehab. 

Love you brother. 

Hope the ‘sorry not sorry’ is heard. ♥️

Idk man I could be wrong but I don’t think I need to. Here’s the honest truth. I like drugs. But I don’t think I have a problem because I can easily not do them. I did drink 2 drinks last night when I was at the comedy club. Maybe I’m mimimizing that because everyone else was doing it. It was at a bar after all.

 

Rehab felt necessary for me back in November or December when I was doing crack. And I felt scared because I liked it too much and I didn’t want to quit. Now I don’t like it and I have zero desire to do it again. I also have zero desire to even do powder cocaine. I’ve said that before and I’m actually sticking with it.

 

i haven’t slept for the last 2 days so not gonna lie I’m craving a Xanax so I can sleep but besides that I don’t think about Xanax on the regular. And to be clear I haven’t been doing drugs. I don’t know why I can’t sleep. I had caffeine before 12. Maybe it’s that and maybe I’m sensitive to caffeine.

[Kevin]

I’m really trying to be open minded here because you all keep telling me to go to rehab. I think there might be a disconnect in perception. I’ve never really had a stigma around “hard” drugs. Even when I was in high school. I didn’t do them but they don’t seem extreme to me. But I can see that for most people, hearing about crack usage is extreme. 
 

to be clear I’m not defending drug use and I’m never doing coke again but I feel like it probably sounds a lot worse to talk then it is.

 

in terms of using drugs to avert from feeling, isn’t caffeine use averting from feeling? If I wake up feeling tired and not motivated or excited. Maybe even depressed. But then I drink a coffee isn’t that just suppression? My next question would be everyone does is so is it bad?

[Kevin]

I’m actually leaning more towards a meditation retreat. I think that would be better for me. I would want to find one that isn’t a goenka retreat though. Idk if any of yall have been to a goenka vipassana retreat but they make you watch hours of goenka talks. And he’s probably the most boring speaker I’ve ever seen in my life.

[Phil]

@Kevin

Quitting drugs or alcohol is just one initial aspect of rehab as far as holistic facilities go, where the bigger picture is feeling & interpretations changing therein (alignment & non-aversion). 

 

It’s true though that I have no direct experience or frame of reference never having done crack or cocaine or frankly any ‘hard drugs’ such as meth, heroine, or even any benzodiazepines like Xanax. 

 

I love ya & just want what’s best for you. 🤍

[Orb]

@Kevin the earlier you quit the better man. I'm 23 and I also have some addictive habits that aren't helpful like kratom and caffeine, it's nowhere near the level of Xanax and crack but it's still not healthy for me personally. 

[Kevin]

47 minutes ago, Orb said:

@Kevin the earlier you quit the better man. I'm 23 and I also have some addictive habits that aren't helpful like kratom and caffeine, it's nowhere near the level of Xanax and crack but it's still not healthy for me personally. 

Definitely I agree. Do you do Kratom extract or the powder? And have you experienced withdrawals from it?

 

In college I did a lot of Kratom powder. It helped me get through rugby workouts. I felt like I could run forever. It made hard work easier. I never felt like it was addictive though. I would stop taking it all the time and never experienced withdrawals or cravings. I’ve heard Kratom extract is what causes addiction because it’s so much more potent.

[Kevin]

1 hour ago, Phil said:

@Kevin

Quitting drugs or alcohol is just one initial aspect of rehab as far as holistic facilities go, where the bigger picture is feeling & interpretations changing therein (alignment & non-aversion). 

 

yes definitely. Our last talk where we ou mentioned the distinction of feeling being fluid really helped. By that I mean saying I’m angry freezes things in place. where as saying I’m experiencing anger isn’t saying something about me and it seems like it’s easier to move through the emotion. 
 

I experience frustration because I want to work on that so I feel happier but i don’t think I can make a goal of that.

1 hour ago, Phil said:

It’s true though that I have no direct experience or frame of reference never having done crack or cocaine or frankly any ‘hard drugs’ such as meth, heroine, or even any benzodiazepines like Xanax. 

 

yeah definitely not trying to Minimize. But I think a lot of people hear about someone doing heroin and it seems drastic. Like their deeply sad and ready to end it all. I don’t have that stigma so I did heroin once in college cause I was bored and my friend offered me some. I haven’t done it since then to be clear.

1 hour ago, Phil said:

I love ya & just want what’s best for you. 🤍

Love ya too man. I definitely feel the support and I try to take any guidance or insight offered to heart.

[Orb]

@Kevin I use both, lately just the canned drinks. 

 

well, theres different strains based on the vein color. 

 

The first time I tried kratom I tried white vein, which is known to be the most energizing one. It felt like a nice boost to my coffee experience but it wasn't enough for me to be sold. 

 

Then I took I think red or green vein kratom and went to a Christmas dinner and when I went to the bathroom I realized I was experiencing euphoria. It felt very similar to a traditional opiate experience (pretty moderate/mild though).

 

I will say if you have am inclination to abuse substances, it really isn't worth it. 

 

I think for people like us who use substances as our "go to" whenever we experience healing/discordant thoughts, it's best to not use any substances at all, not even caffeine. But that's just me.

[Reborn2]

Here's the thing about coffee/coffeine: to a degree it messes with your heart rate, blood pressure and consequently stress levels. And the only reason it's not a serious problem for most people is because over time of long time regular drinking they develop a tolerance and they don't drink dangerous ammounts, but let's say you stop drinking coffee for a while or only drink decaf versions, and then after couple of weeks or months you suddenly chug down a cup of a fairly strong double espresso, it would negatively influence the rest of your day and night probably

 

Coffeine take a very long time to leave your bloodstream, about 6-10 hours so it influences your sleep to a degree even if you're drinking low ammounts per day

[Orb]

@Kevin also, just to sprinkle in some inspiration in here for us both or anyone dealing with a similar issue: 

 

There was a period of about 2 months where I quit every possible substance (caffeine being one of them). I would wake up every morning and eat a banana, then meditate for 30 minutes, then lift weights, then I would stretch, and then my day began. 

 

By the end of the 2 months my mind was clearer and more focused than ever, some mornings I'd jump out of bed with energy, and I started working on a business that was to coach people with meditation since it helped me so much. 

 

Then I entertained green tea....and little by little I began to go deeper into using substances. 

 

What ive learned is that everyone has their own way of "closing the gap" (as Abraham Hicks says), some people have this thing called "moderation" but truthfully: I have no clue what it is lol. I hear people talk about this moderation thing and it's just words for me, it doesn't exist in my experience, I'm not being sarcastic or joking I'm being dead serious lol. 

 

For myself (and maybe you as well), I've found that the best way to go is fully sober, and build a "natural" routine that doesn't involve substances to replace that coffee/kratom in the morning. 

 

Everyone's got their own way, some people experience moderate use of substances which is fine, some people will never know what moderation is (like myself). 

 

It's all about finding the way of life that closes your gap between you and your source/God. 

 

That's why some spiritual teachers or traditions will swear by 100% sober living and other teachers will smoke cigarettes and drink tea and stuff.

[Phil]

1 hour ago, Kevin said:

yes definitely. Our last talk where we ou mentioned the distinction of feeling being fluid really helped. By that I mean saying I’m angry freezes things in place. where as saying I’m experiencing anger isn’t saying something about me and it seems like it’s easier to move through the emotion. 

🎯

1 hour ago, Kevin said:

 

I experience frustration because I want to work on that so I feel happier but i don’t think I can make a goal of that.

No, you can’t. It sucks and I’m sorry to be telling you this but you’re infinite happiness already. It’s not achievable, earn-able or obtainable. It’s unconditional. You just as you are. (Don’t shoot the messenger). 

 

1 hour ago, Kevin said:

yeah definitely not trying to Minimize. But I think a lot of people hear about someone doing heroin and it seems drastic. Like their deeply sad and ready to end it all. I don’t have that stigma so I did heroin once in college cause I was bored and my friend offered me some. I haven’t done it since then to be clear.

I hear ya. I’m at the ‘it’s drastic’ end of the spectrum. But the frame here is… relative to what? What you want. What’s on the dreamboard. If it’s a relationship, how conducive is drugs? really, whatever it is - how conducive is drugs? Not just the one night or weekend aspect, but the withdrawal and all related side effects. Let’s get some momentum going in terms of well-being, clarity, enthusiasm, inspiration, right? 

 

1 hour ago, Kevin said:

Love ya too man. I definitely feel the support and I try to take any guidance or insight offered to heart.

♥️