Reborn2

My current job, realistically, ticks off about 2 out of 6 of these - it has very well defined work boundaries and overtimes are optional and relatively well paid. But it's too easy, I don't make enough money, there's not enough communication with people and I could handle some additional responsibility

The ideal kind of job I want: - Balanced difficulty - not too easy and not too hard - Large enough salary to support me and my lifestyle, and then something on top of that - Working overtime is an option not a necessity/duty, and the overtime hours are decently paid - Not too much communication/dealing with people and conversely, not too much social isolation either - Clearly defined separation/boundary between work life and personal life - Balanced level of responsibility and stress

Ironically though, with a little more time and life experience and finances I would probably be a pretty decent, if not great, father. In spite of the fact that my priorities right now couldn't be further apart from such a "goal". But I think I kind of have the personality for it. I've also discovered I'm probably not completely infertile, but the chance some of the little buggers manage to get throught alive is there, albeit small and it only happens occassionally. With a good pull out game the chance of an "accident" would shrink back to zero percent, and even without good pull out game the chance is still small. But it's there. I notice on myself I tend to sort of wussy around these topics and be awkward about it probably because of certain kinds of social conditioning, but I should just be more explicit and to the point, because this shit is part of life. But some people be acting like it should just be kept under the rug or it's something unordinary, how ridicilous

An ideal relationship model for me would basically be a significantly upgraded, childless version of my parents

No, right now you are Rose. So just live out the rest of your life to the best of your ability and enjoy it. Do good for yourself and for others in equal measure, try to minimize your suffering and suffering of others. Contribute to society in some way.

What I meant to convey by that is that, your very core personality and thus all the subtle or not so subtle behaviours stemming from those characteristics will never really change, to put it into some analogy, you can just sort of mold the shape of the tree top, make it look prettier or less messy, make the branches/twigs look different etc. but you can never really replace the tree trunk, or the roots, those stay the same. Similiarly, there are certain characteristics and patterns of behaviour about you that are unchangeable and you also don't really want to change them because they make you, well, you. Even in your case on this forum, we can probably observe certain patterns of your behaviour that didn't change and remained consistent despite you changing some beliefs and perspectives. The reason this core doesn't change is because of unique mix of biology/genetics, enviromental and social factors that were set at your birth/early childhood. These are a certain set of rigid rules similiar to gravity, being imagined in this particuliar reality, making certain people predisposed towards certain behaviours for their entire life

Still have to take care of some bureaocratic nonsense, after which I'll still have to take some time to buy all the necessary stuff like a kitchen cabinet with all the appliances, kitchen and work stools and chairs, a sofa and bed. Washer as well. And even after all of that, I'll still have to take some time to flex on my haters

For the same reasons you are okay with staying the way you are

I can't wear VR glasses knowing all this stuff, it's fucking with my mind

I don't know

I am going to complain my way towards success

It's interesting tho, the thing I've basically bitched and moaned about the most seemed to get resolved so effortlessly, it just took a little time. I've also used to bitch and moan about not having a job, etc. Maybe I should use a similiar tactic for other things that bother me or I don't have

I get it man. It feels good to give. It always felt good for me as well

Next goal is to move in. Then I'll find a better job, and abduct some random girl to live with me

Yeah, that's one way to look at it I guess